#zero social media contacts at the dmv abandons you halfway through clubbing but checks in the next morning type of person

[villainihavedonethymotheronao3]

Some people put their whole hearts into trying to make Mollymauk a Glee character when he is, at his core, somewhere between a washed up magician selling fake silk sheets on daytime television and a line cook in an ankle-length fur coat who you meet at a drag show, who feeds your dog filet mignon and then ghosts you halfway through your third date.

#critical role #mollymauk tealeaf #where is the crust! where is the unreliability! where is the smarm! #where is the coaxing you to breakup with your boyfriend at a race under a bridge and then skipping town forever? #they have seven ids and the funkiest stage makeup kit you’ve ever seen #I’m talking Ben nye that has developed new strains of fungus #less fabulous Molly and more ‘can recite the code of conduct for clowns by heart’ Molly #does children’s birthdays but not before noon or after five Molly #lies about being psychic to impressionable old women #but never makes a significant profit off of it #zero social media contacts at the dmv abandons you halfway through clubbing but checks in the next morning type of person