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Jari'eyc - Chapter 8

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Word Count: 2373

Warnings: flirting, trying to ignore feelings, concern about feelings, mentions of wanting a polyamorous relationship, dreamscape, character death, torture, IT-O/interrogator droid, Tantiss

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Sinya had been staring at the unused cot in the medbay for a couple hours now, tears long since dried on her cheeks.

“She should eat something,” Runi suggested quietly. “Who knows when she ate last.”

Everyone’s eyes shifted to the sergeant, who simply nodded and walked to the kitchen. He knew Crosshair had followed him, but he didn’t mention it.

He gathered a couple ration bars and hydropaks, not sure what she would prefer.

“Maybe the purple one,” Crosshair whispered. “J– she always liked the purple paks the best.”

Hunter looked up to meet his brother’s gaze, giving a little nod. He pretended not to notice the way his voice trembled.

The door to the medbay was already open, but Hunter knocked anyway, the memories of accidentally frightening Jaine flowing unbidden into his mind.

“Brought some… I’m not exactly sure it can be called ‘food’,” he sighed. “You should eat something, anyway.”

“Thanks,” Sinya whispered.

“Someone can sit with you, if you want,” he added. “But I get it if you want to be alone, too.”

Her gaze finally lifted from the cot. “I’m sorry… For what she’s done.”

Hunter’s chest ached, but he placed a hand on her arm. “I’m sorry about Argus.”

She sniffled a little, wiping at the dried tears. “Some Jedi I would’ve made,” she chuckled. “Just riddled with attachments.”

Hunter smiled. “Could think of some other reasons you wouldn’t have liked it.”

She caught his eye, the tiniest hint of that playfulness shining in them. “Do tell.”

“Aren’t the Jedi supposed to be practically celibate?” he smirked.

“Sergeant Hunter,” she gasped. “Are you saying that I’m too slutty for the Order?”

Hunter coughed, his cheeks blossoming a deep red. “Oh, I didn’t- I just meant-”

“Relax, honey,” she laughed. “I know my usual lifestyle wouldn’t gel with how by-the-book the Council is.”

Hunter sighed, shaking his head with a laugh.

“Not that they always crack down on that behavior,” she grinned, leaning towards him conspiratorially. “You’ve probably never met Master Vos, but anyone paying attention could tell Kenobi was fucking his commander.”

Hunter’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Seriously?”

“Oh absolutely! He has a tendency towards using little pet names for people, but his tell is always dropping the ‘my’ from ‘my dear’. When he’s interested in someone it’s always more direct.”

Hunter chuckled. “Wouldn’t have guessed.”

Sinya seemed to consider something for a moment before dropping her voice low. “He also told me,” she giggled, slipping into a mediocre attempt at the general’s Coruscanti accent. “‘It was to die for, Sinya’.”

The pair shared a laugh, eagerly chasing the small moment of joy to avoid the sorrow of their lost friends.

They were sitting closer together now, and Sinya was beginning to tell some story about her time in the Agricorps when Crosshair peeked in.

For one of the first times since J– since the end of the war, his brother was smiling. It was soft, similar to how he smiled at Omega, but it was almost as if it were deeper.

And Sinya, despite being nearly covered in bandages, having survived being hunted by someone she loved and trusted, was talking, smiling, laughing, and just living.

Something panged at Crosshair’s chest. He was pretty sure it was something like missing someone, but if he was being honest, he couldn’t really feel it. It seemed like he didn’t feel much of anything lately.

He’d gotten too used to keeping all of his emotions under lock and key, only letting the clearer, sharper emotions through. He would show his pride for Omega or his irritation with his brothers’ antics, but everything else fell by the wayside.

The one sharp emotion he refused to let through his delicate mask was pounding at his chest now.

He stepped away from the medbay door, heading back towards the bunks. He knelt next to Tech’s bunk under his, scowling at the mess blocking his access to his footlocker. He sighed and shook his head, pulling at the various wires, spare tools, and clothing and piling them on the unmade bunk.

Pulling out his trunk, he took a shaking breath as he opened it. There wasn’t much inside; he barely used it. A few spare pieces of armor, extra tools for cleaning his rifle, a drawing Omega had made of a tooka with colors like his armor. He smiled fondly at the piece of flimsi, setting it to the side. Beneath it was another piece of flimsi, folded neatly, bearing his name in messy handwriting, and a datapad.

He steeled himself. He wasn’t sure when J– she had written this note, or what it contained. He glanced up through the doorway. Everyone was still out there and he could have this moment for himself.

He held the button to power up the datapad, and waited, unfolding the flimsi and looking over the scrawled Qoljaki lettering across the page, his fingers ghosting over what he recognized to be his name at the top of the page.

The datapad’s soft glow reminded him to look at it. The algorithm Tech made was still open, results still showing. With another deep breath, he began to read.

Crosshair, my Seleno, I know it has only been a few weeks since you told me you love me. I do not think I tell you enough, but to describe how deeply I love you is a task the greatest poets could never hope to complete. But that is not why I am writing this now. I need to tell you, but I am scared that when I do you will leave me and I will be alone once again. Maybe that is why I am writing this in Qoljaki. I cannot be scared of your reaction if you cannot read it. Crosshair, I find my heart and mind being pulled in many directions. I have fallen in love with your brothers just as I have fallen for you. I do not know if it is a common practice elsewhere in the galaxy, but on my planet it was very common to love more than one person. I hope that someday I will share this with you, and with the rest of your brothers, too. I can almost feel the bonds between myself and all of you strengthening each day that I spend here. Wrecker has been more touchy lately. He picks me up and holds me close. He is so sweet and kind, it almost makes my heart ache. I play along like I want him to put me down, but that is far from the truth. I see how he steals glances at you when I am in his arms. I know he is nervous, but I would be glad to let him hold me as long as he sees fit. Hunter still freezes when I touch him, though he pretends that he had not and I pretend not to notice. We may have had a rocky start, but I do feel like he has accepted me. Do not mention it to him, but I did notice how his shoulders seem to lose their tension when we talk. It has been interesting to see Echo grow over these past few months. Sometimes, the way he talks to me makes me think he must have really been a charmer back in his ARC trooper days. He is so snarky and I can see why the two of you get along so well. It cannot be so surprising that he has charmed me as you have. And Tech is, well, Tech. I hope one day I can earn back his friendship, but I am not sure I ever had it in the first place. Even if he never returns the deep love I feel for him, I would be proud just to be his friend. He is so smart, yet so rigid. I hope someday to loosen him up a little. Oh darling, even just writing this down I can feel the weight of it all lift off my chest. You give me such perfectly intense joy and I am terrified to risk losing that. I pray to the gods that if I ever tell you of my love for your brothers that you will be as understanding and accepting as you have from that day you followed me into the woods. I am yours, as long as you should wish it, Jaine

The world around Crosshair was frozen, just as he was, in this brief glimpse into J– Jaine’s mind. For the first time since that night in the hangar, he dropped the mask and let himself feel. Sorrow filled his chest as much as the tears filled his eyes. He’d never let himself get so close to anyone that wasn’t a brother. He felt so lost now. His purpose was stripped from him the moment his chip didn’t activate. There was a tiny part of him that wondered if he’d be happier if it had, but he knew he could never truly want that. No, he knew his purpose now was to protect his family. He just wanted… he needed direction, something to show him how to still let himself feel even if she was gone. He ran his hands over his face in a half-hearted attempt to dry it, but when he opened his eyes, he found that it was still dark. He felt his hands start to shake and his chest tighten up.

–

“Are you alright?”

That voice was almost familiar.

What? he tried to ask, but no sound came out. He tried to look around, but found only darkness.

“What do you think?”

That voice he knew. He knew it in his bones, in the very fabric of his soul.

Jaine?

“I apologize, my child. I’m afraid I’m not sure what else to say,” the first voice hummed. “I hate to see you being tormented like this.”

“Then help me end it!” Jaine sobbed.

Jaine!

Quiet, Moon, the first voice hushed in his head. I will show you what I can. Slowly, his vision lightened. There was a forest around him. He seemed to be hovering, weightless over a small grove. Below him he could see a figure, bright red hair shining in the warm colors of the dusk, tinting the white streak in her hair. It was Jaine.

“Please help me. This is the third time,” Jaine pleaded with a ball of light that was floating before her. Her expression was deep and haunted as she shook on her hands and knees. “You’re a god; there must be something you can do.”

You’re a Chromira, Crosshair gasped.

“There are many things beyond my power, dear one.”

Jaine dropped to the ground, her sobs racking her body.

What is she talking about? Why does she need your help? Crosshair demanded.

Patience, Moon, the Chromira spoke into his mind. There are many things I cannot tell you expressly. I am doing all in my power to show you what I can. Crosshair blinked and he was on the ground next to Jaine. She was so close he could almost touch her, but she didn’t seem to notice him there.

“Show me, little one, all you are going through,” she instructed Jaine. “I will do all in my ability to aid you.”

Jaine brushed her face against her wrist, wiping away the tears. Crosshair knelt beside her. There were dark circles beneath her eyes, and her cheeks were somewhat hollowed. Her hair had grown out considerably and there was a small scar on each of her temples. Were those there on Bracca? He longed to reach out and touch her.

Jaine reached out toward the light, hands shaking.

The scene around them changed and Crosshair stood, looking around.

Jaine lay strapped to a table, her hair splayed out beneath her head. She was in a plain gray jumpsuit. Solid metal restraints secured her to the table. A spherical droid was injecting her with something, he couldn’t tell what.

“What are they injecting you with?” the Chromira questioned.

“Truth serum, this time,” Jaine answered sorrowfully.

He looked around. It was a small room, closed off by a laser gate.

“Where is this, child?” the Chromira asked.

Jaine’s voice sounded around them, disembodied as though they were in her mind. “I-I don’t know. They moved me to this room the last time I died.”

Anger flared in Crosshair’s chest.

“Have you seen the outside?” the Chromira pressed. “Anywhere else in the facility?”

“Hardly anything. Just my cell block, the interrogation room, and here,” Jaine answered, sorrow filling her voice.

Crosshair watched as the scene before him played out. Once the droid had finished its injection, another apparatus extended from it, reaching out to touch the back of her head, right where her skull met her spine.

Moments later Jaine’s body began convulsing against her restraints. Her fists balled and her jaw tightened.

“Tell us how to find Clone Force 99,” a woman ordered, hitting a button on her datapad that made the droid stop. Crosshair tore his eyes away from Jaine as he glared at the woman asking about his brothers. He looked nervously back at Jaine, mentally preparing for her to tell everything.

Jaine’s mouth fell open as she panted, fighting to regain her breath. After a moment, she opened her eyes, glaring at the woman. She pointedly clamped her jaw, eyes shifting to look straight ahead at the ceiling.

“Can’t tell the truth if you don’t say anything,” Jaine told the Chromira.

That’s my girl, Crosshair thought proudly, despite the ache in his chest.

The other woman’s expression didn’t change as she hit another button. The droid returned this time administering shocks of various lengths and intensities to different parts of her body.

Crosshair’s chest ached as he listened to Jaine, struggling not to cry out.

Behind him, the laser gate opened. “How is the interview going, Doctor Karr?”

A man stepped in. He had a smug look that Crosshair wanted to punch right off his head. He held his hands behind him, his left one gloved. His blue eyes were piercing.

“The subject still refuses to talk,” the woman- Doctor Karr, informed him.

“You’ve administered the Bavo Six?” he asked, eyes peering curiously at Jaine, whimpering as the droid finished its round of electrocution.

“Yes,” Karr confirmed. “And doubled the dosage as instructed.”

Who is that? Crosshair asked.

“I see,” the man hummed. “Why has the droid stopped?”

Karr looked down at her datapad. “It is no longer detecting a heartbeat. Should I resuscitate her?”

“No need,” the man said. “She’ll do it herself.”

The scene shifted back to the forest clearing. Jaine was still sitting in the clovers, knees pulled tight against her chest.

“Will it- can I be here longer this time?” Jaine sniffled.

“I��m so sorry, my child,” the Chromira whispered. “It will only be a few hours, but I will stay here with you all the while.”

Isn’t there anything more you can do for her? Crosshair asked.

Showing you this is all I can do and it has drained a considerable amount of energy from me, the Chromira answered in his head. Remember what you have seen, Moon. You need to wake up.

–

Crosshair was twitching fitfully on the floor, collapsed against the side of Tech’s bunk when Hunter found him. Tech appeared at the doorway seconds later and they exchanged a look.

“Go to the Moon,” the Chromira had whispered to them, her voice soft and distant. “He will need you as he awakens.”

They pulled him onto Echo’s bunk, waiting silently by his side until he jolted back into his body with a gasp.

Crosshair was frantically taking in his surroundings, panting as he fought to restore his breath.

“Cross,” Hunter said, warily.

“It’s J– Jaine,” he whispered. “She’s being tortured for information. Th-the Chromira showed me…”

“Crosshair, what information?” Tech pressed, his hand gentle on his twin’s arm.

“The Empire is looking for us.”