terpeenan

[terpeenan]

TW: ED & PURGING

I need to get this off my chest.

I’ve always had body and food issues for as long as I can remember. As early as preschool I was worried about looking larger than my peers. It’s only gotten worse and i think this is the worst it’s been.

Im about 5’5-5’6 and weigh about 133-135ish depending on the day. I feel so disgusting. Every part of me looks ugly and I can’t help but feel that I’ll never look or feel pretty.

And it’s so fucked up because I’m aware of the issues and I’m not delusional to anything but I can’t just stop. I can’t just start seeing my body as a temple and loving it. I see it as something that needs constant work and that effort is just futile.

However, it’s been getting a lot worse. The past couple weeks I’ve slowly started to hate eating — I still do it but not as often anymore. Before, I would eat maybe once or twice a day but now, I can barely stand to do that. I feel so fucking disgusting afterwards (which isn’t new btw, just more extreme now).

This is where I feel l crossed the line. I purged for the first time on Tuesday. Sort of. I gagged a bit some fluid came out. I decided that it was fine, I shouldn’t have done it anyways, but now? I’m fighting the urge to do again. And I know I’ll succeed because I learnt not to stop when I gag but I DONT WANT TO. I fucked my self over because I know there’s no going back, after only two fucking days, I’m already fighting the urge to throw my shit back up.

Im afraid and I don’t want this but I can’t stop. This shit has been going for over 15 years, whether I actively tried to lose weight or not. And I know I need therapy but at the same time I don’t want it. How fucked up is that shit.

#ed not sherran #sk1nn1 #bul1m14 #tw ed diet #ed not sheeren #i wanna be thinner

[terpeenan]

I haven’t seen anyone talk about this but right before the “Hernando–Jorge” scene Bruno whispers

“Sana sana colita de rana”

It’s a common phrase among Latin American children meant to heal those who are hurt.

While Bruno is saying it he’s actively avoiding the cracks in Casita. What I’m trying to say is, he is doing everything he can to save the family from the inside that he resorts to children rhymes and that’s kinda sad

Also maybe he tryna comfort himself

#bruno madrigal #encanto #encanto bruno #encanto brainrot #casita

[terpeenan]

The moment Gray realized that he’s actually a bottom.

[terpeenan]

The moment Gray realized that he’s actually a bottom.