that-girl-is-so-peculiar

[that-girl-is-so-peculiar]

[that-girl-is-so-peculiar]

I try to stay a little optimistic, even though I will admit, things are getting pretty sticky. Here’s how I try to look at it, and this is just me, this current global situation, it’s like there’s a boat stuck sideways in the Suez Canal. It’s like there’s a boat stuck in the Suez Canal. I think eventually everything’s going to be okay, but I have no idea what’s going to happen next. And neither do any of you, and neither do your parents, because there’s a boat stuck in the Suez Canal!

It’s never happened before, no one knows what the boat is going to do next, least of all the boat! It’s never been stuck sideways in the Suez Canal before, it’s as confused as you are!

There’s no experts. They try to find experts on the news. They’re like, “We’re joined now by a man that once saw an old russian oil tanker near Africa.” Get out of here with that shit! We’ve all seen a russian tanker near Africa. This is a boat stuck sideways in the Suez Canal!

When a boat is stuck in the Suez Canal, you got to stay updated. So all day long you walk around, “What’d the boat do?” The updates, they’re not always bad. Sometimes they’re just odd. It’ll be like, “The boat drew a dick in the GPS before getting stuck in the canal.” I didn’t know it knew how to do that.

The creepiest days are when you don’t hear from the boat at all. You’re down on Tumblr like, “Hey, has anyone…” “Has anyone heard–” [imitating boat horn noises]

Those are those quiet days when people are like, “It looks like the boat is finally getting unstuck.” And then ten seconds later the boat is like, “I’m gonna ignore the effort of the tug boats and cost the global trade another billion of dollars. I’ve got a nice bow and the length of 4 football fields, I’m a boat!” That’s what I thought you’d say, you dumb fucking boat!

And then… Then… Then you go to brunch with people and they’re like, “There shouldn’t be a boat stuck sideways in the Suez Canal.” And it’s like, “We’re well past that!”

Then other people are like, “If there’s gonna be a boat stuck in the Suez Canal, I’m going to send ships around Africa like it's the 16th century!” And those don’t match up at all!

And then, for a second, it seemed like maybe we could survive the boat, and then, a mile away, the excavation team was like, “I have a small digger and I’m going to dig the boat out of the canal!” And before we could say anything, the boat was like, “If you even fucking look at the canal, I will crash my bow further into the coast. I dare you to do it. I want you to do it. I want you to do it so I can crash you with my bow, I’m so fucking crazy.” “You think you’re fucking crazy, I’m a fucking underpaid employee. I live in a fucking tiny digger. I’m fucking crazy!” And all of us are like, “Okay.” Like poor Andy Cohen at those goddamn reunions. “Okay.”

And then, for a second, we were like, “Maybe the captain will manoeuvre the boat out of the canal.” And then the boat is like, “I have fired the captain.” It can do that? That shouldn’t be allowed, no matter who the captain is! I don’t remember that in Hamilton.

[that-girl-is-so-peculiar]

SINGIN’ IN THE RAIN dir. Stanley Donen + Gene Kelly 

[that-girl-is-so-peculiar]

No man in Austen has ever fallen in love with a female heroine because she’s pretty or beautiful or has long, blonde hair. They fall in love with them because of who they are, because of their vibrancy and their intelligence. - Anna Maxwell Martin

[that-girl-is-so-peculiar]

hey friendly psa/reminder that with the seasons changing right now, a lot of people with mood disorders (and even people without them) can get all messed up and wonky from that so try to go a little easy on yourself if you find yourself spiraling or getting emotional a lot lately okay? youre doin your best. love u

[that-girl-is-so-peculiar]

Hakuna Matata (From “The Lion King”)

[that-girl-is-so-peculiar]

The new Hakuna Matata for the Lion King live action replaced the line "Not in front of the kids!" with "And I got down hearted every time that I farted" because we've all grown up and can now say the word fart

[that-girl-is-so-peculiar]

[that-girl-is-so-peculiar]

me: I’m going to bed early tonight.

me:

me: is that the sun

[that-girl-is-so-peculiar]

The science world is freaking out over this 25-year-old's answer to antibiotic resistance

[that-girl-is-so-peculiar]

miles: dad can i please get airpods

jefferson: no

miles: but come on, everyone has them

jefferson: do you see spiderman running around with airpods?

miles: 

[that-girl-is-so-peculiar]

Matilda knows.

[that-girl-is-so-peculiar]

- Who came out and told everybody? - I did. Gifted, dir. Marc Webb // 2017

[that-girl-is-so-peculiar]

If you’re ever feeling unappreciated, just remember that “Toxic” and “Oops I Did It Again” both peaked at number 9. Sometimes the world isn’t ready for greatness, but you’re still iconic.

[that-girl-is-so-peculiar]

If men stopped working…the world would continue on.

If women stopped working, then things would get ugly.

[that-girl-is-so-peculiar]

[that-girl-is-so-peculiar]

how the fuxk