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thatwhorethatyouadore · 4 years

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A Different Man (Pacho Herrera x Reader) Pt. 1

AN: As you all know, Pacho is the flamboyant gay godfather of the Cali Cartel, and one of the most powerful men in the cocaine business. But what would happen when he was confronted by his past? Before the business, before the negotiations, before tearing people apart with motorcycles... A sort of realistic AU that in the beginning, before Pacho came out, he was married to a woman (reader), and even had a child with her... but later abandons them both after she finds out a secret of his... Ten years later, now a kingpin, Pacho Herrera hopes to come to closing terms with the reader and his past... but it won’t go as smoothly as he thinks.

—

It was awkward, going into a place filled with guards to the brim and an extravagant house that put all other billionaires to shame. She had never lived this way with him before, even after they had their son together. They used to live paycheck to paycheck, and though her parents helped her family out tremendously, she was always the one to insist that they make their own doing. He was a jeweler, and she was a simple 9th grade history teacher. One may think they’d make sufficient money, but the place that they lived in, costs were exorbitant. So they had no time for luxuries…

She never remembered any red flags of him trafficking. Perhaps he’d stay a little later in the night for work, but she always recounted waking up in the morning with him beside her in her bed. He was always up before her, either looking up at the sky or watching her sleep, and she always opened her eyes to see his brown ones looking into her own. She smiled, and they would kiss, and then she would go to their son’s room to check on him. Afterwards, she’d leave, and he would take care of their son for the first part of the day. Then, when she came back, he would leave to do his night job, and the cycle would repeat for days on end.

But on one of those days, that would change entirely.

It was their anniversary that day. She remembered that clearly. They had been together for 3 or 4 years, and their son, Alejandro (Ali for short), had just turned one. In those past months, Pacho had seemed more withdrawn and less social as he used to be, and when confronting him about this, he always brushed her off. It definitely put a strain on their marriage, but she hoped that perhaps the little surprise she’d make for him would lighten his day. She sent Ali to her parents’ house for the day, hoping to just have the time between the two of them to rekindle that fire they once had.

She didn’t remember exactly how it came to be, but she ended up in a bar… Oh, that’s right. He didn’t even show up. Even when he told her through the phone that he would be home soon to celebrate. Frustrated, she had gotten a cab and went to the nearest bar, hoping to at least ease her anger with a few drinks. Then she could go back home, fall asleep, and forget about their anniversary, as he obviously did.

But then she saw it. A scene that would never be erased from her mind, and all she saw soon after were tears clouding her eyes.

Pacho was there. And not only him, but a man. They were dancing with each other, obviously intoxicated, until the man captured Pacho’s lips with his own. Everybody, including them, were too drunk on their own to notice this happening… except her. It was only a small peck, but it was enough for her to realize that after all these days, he wasn’t working late -- but having an affair with a man.

He was horrified when she called out his name. She left him, and soon he was following her on her feet. She could recall the shouts that left her mouth, the anger in her heart. He tried to placate the situation, but it was far too late.

She went to her parents’ house that night. And the next morning, she had packed her things, told him good riddance, and left. Apparently he’d forgotten all about her, because after that, he never once tried to call her family’s home. Perhaps he was too ashamed, too mortified to even see his own son.

That was years ago; hell, though it was a nightmare then, it had become a blur of the past in her mind. She had gotten her own apartment, and from there her and her son moved into it. And with what was happening, she even applied for a position as a Spanish teacher in the United States, hoping to get away from all the violence occurring in Colombia. But all the memories flooded back when she saw the smile of her old lover, the same eyes that gazed into her soul as they would when they made love back then. He walked up to her, his arms spread as if he was hoping to hug her like an old friend, a smile on his face. She didn’t reciprocate that same warmness he was giving her, and he took note of this, nodding as his smile fell and he sunk back into the chair he got up from. She sat down quietly, and the server came to ask what she wanted to drink; she told them wine. A bottle of it. If he wanted to talk to her so desperately, she would need to drink to ignore the emotions flooding over her.

“You look good,” he said, his sunglasses hanging from the front of his shirt. “As beautiful as I always remembered you to be.”

She didn’t respond. She only looked at him, wanting him to feel some sort of shame or guiltiness. It wasn’t him even cheating on her that made her angry about the past; it was the lie that he kept from her throughout their entire relationship, and afterwards, abandoning her and their young child. She didn’t want to be his friend, and she most certainly didn’t want to be associated with one of Cali’s kingpins. “What do you want, Pacho?”

He leaned forward, his eyes still sinking her in as he smiled softly. “How are you these days?”

“I’m not here to rebuild a friendship with you. I came here because you asked me to.”

“But you still came,” he pointed out.

“I can leave if it’s not important.”

He laughed, taking a long sip of the daiquiri in his hand. He shook the glass slowly, seeming to ponder. “Can’t I catch up with my late wife?”

“I don’t want to catch up with you, Pacho. You’ve already made us suffer enough.”

She saw the hurt in his eyes, and though he said nothing, the pain seemed to have transferred to her as well. But only his eyes showed the slightest hint of emotion. He took a deep breath. “I haven’t forgotten. You both are still the most important people in my life.”

“We both know that’s bullshit,” She said coolly. “Otherwise you wouldn’t have abandoned us like we were nothing.”

“And I’m sorry for that,” he responded. His hand was on the table, and she saw that familiar golden ring around his finger. It wasn’t their marriage ring, but a ring she had given him on his birthday so long ago. It was all she could afford, and yet he was so happy to have gotten it. He noticed her looking at the ring on his finger, and he smiled, looking down at it as well. “I wear it often,” he said. “And my wedding ring. Depending on the occasion,” He added, letting a small laugh out.

“Why did you keep them?” She said, and it was more in a curious tone than it was irritated.

“Because it’s a reminder of us. And when we were in love.”

She turned away and scoffed, “You never loved me, Francisco.”

Francisco was his first name, and a strike of nostalgia seemed to hit his eyes when she said it. Nobody had called him that for a very long time, she’d wager. “But I did,” he stated, and she had to take a sip of her wine after that sentence. “Not with your body…”

Her eyes met his. She knew exactly what he meant.

“But with you.” Her hands were starting to become clammy, her heart pounding in her chest. For some reason, in her gut, she knew he was telling the truth with those words. Words from his heart. “The times we were together made me… made me feel something.”

For once, she didn’t filter what she said. Her subconscious had taken over her conscious. “You’re gay, Pacho,” she stated bluntly.

A few of the men turned to look at them, and Pacho didn’t break his gaze from her. It was a widely known fact that he was gay; he told the whole world about it. But that didn’t mean he appreciated the venom in her tone when she said it. “Yes,” He said. “Yes I am.”

“Then how is it possible-...”

“I loved you as a person, not as a partner. Does that make more sense?” He said, and she could feel the tension from him, as if she was already supposed to know. But she didn’t. His voice lowered, continuing, “Do you hate me because of it?”

“I don’t hate you because you’re gay, Pacho,” she said. “I don’t hate you at all.” There was a pause between them. Then, “I don’t want anything to do with you because you’ve changed.”

“Changed?” He said, his voice still calm. Though his eyes told her that he was taken aback by this presumption. “How?”

She shook her head, grabbing her purse. Opening it, he eyed what she was pulling out. Not that it could be anything dangerous, that is; they’ve already checked her bag before she even stepped foot into the property. Nonetheless, he seemed to have a keen interest in what she was going to grab.

He soon saw her place some money on the table, and his eyes narrowed at her. “What are you doing?”

She stood up, grabbing her bag. “I’m leaving.”

He scoffed, but she didn’t care. She turned around to the door, only to be stopped by two men that were armed with guns. She was shocked, and when this happened, Pacho stood up himself. She looked back, noticing the smug countenance on his face. “You always want to have the last word, don’t you?” He began to walk towards her, and she swallowed the hard lump in her throat. When he came too close for comfort, she tried to look away, but his hand went under her chin and turned her face to look directly at his. “It’s cute how you think you can just walk away from me again. A lot has changed in these years, my dear…” He leaned closer to her, almost lowering his voice to a whisper, “And I’m not done talking to you yet.”

She tried as hard as she could to seem courageous, not pushing him away nor getting closer. The air felt stagnant as she traced her words out carefully. “You’re not the man I used to know.”

“And you’re not the woman I used to know. But we all change, don’t we?”

“No…” She said, shaking her head slowly. “But you aren’t the man I fell in love with when we got married. You’re not the man that used to love me as a person, or however you put it… You… You’ve changed. You’re a complete monster.”

He was amusingly surprised by the words. “A monster?” He asked in a more innocent tone. “Bold words you’re using to a kingpin of the Cali, don’t you think?”

“And what are you going to do?” She said, the confidence growing within her. “Rip me apart with motorcycles the way you did with Claudio Salazar? Or put a bullet in my head?”

He seemed disgruntled with the mention of Claudio. “Don’t mention that asshole Salazar, sweetheart. He’s not as innocent as he seems.”

“You quartered him like he was some sort of meat.”

“And now he is!” He said enthusiastically, spreading his hands. “Meat for the fishes, is he not? I’m giving back to Mother Nature!”

“You sick man…” She started, and, slipping between his grasp and the bodyguard behind him, she tried to run.

However, his hand had caught her forearm before she could bolt, and effortlessly dragged and pushed her to the side of the wall. His body caged hers so she couldn’t leave. He took out the gun from his pocket and placed it under her chin, making her finally stop struggling and stood catatonically. “Are you stupid? What did I say about trying to run away from me?” He asked, his other forearm pushing against her chest and nearly brushing atop her breasts. The gun dug into her skin, and every breath she took it felt as though it sunk in deeper.

“What do you want?” She said, exasperated. She’d be damned if she said she wasn’t horrified that he’d kill her at that moment.

He tsked at her, his other hand that didn’t hold the revolver came up to cup her face. “Why are you so cold to me, hm? Are you that upset that I didn’t like the feeling of your pussy?”

She knew he was taunting her, trying to make her struggle against him -- it seemed as if he was having fun with it. But she didn’t, and she wouldn’t give him that satisfaction. It took two players to play this game. “No. You’re just one of many men, Pacho… And many of them would disagree.”

He let out a breathy chuckle, and she saw the glimmer in his eyes. “Is that so?” He asked, and his face got closer to hers. “Then tell me, my love… Did they fuck you like I did? Did they make you scream their name like I did?” His voice then got lower, “Did you ever let them put a baby into you… like I did?”

She shook her head, seething with rage. “No.”

“Then you should thank me. Many women would dream of carrying my child.”

“I’m thankful that you gave me this child. Not because of your arrogance that you were the one to father him… but because he’s the best boy I could’ve asked for.”

A small, honest smile formed on his face as his hold on her lightened. She felt that she could breathe more easily now, the air less stagnant as the tension dissipated. “I want to see him.”

She scoffed at the notion. “Why now, all of a sudden? You couldn’t make that decision ten years ago?”

“Things have been hard,” he said, slowly walking back to where he sat. His hand motioned to the table, as if ordering her to sit back down. When she didn’t move, he sighed, tapping his fingers on the table. “I appreciate your consideration, but the wine will cost a thousand times more than that excuse of money you put on the table. All of which I’ll be paying. So be a kind guest and finish it.”

“I didn’t know guests are supposed to follow their host’s orders,” She responded. “Or be forced to have dinner.”

“Do you really want to test my patience?” His voice had a mixture of impatience and frustration within it. “We can sit and talk about our son, but I’m still going to see him. Whether you permit it or not.”

“Not in this place, you aren’t,” She said quietly, almost indistinguishable. She knew she didn’t have a say on the matter, but the desperation in her voice was tangible. “If you want to see your son… it won’t be here.”

He eyed her suspiciously; “Then where?”

She didn’t want to, but she knew that at the end of the day, she didn’t have a choice. She could either maneuver the situation to her favor, or she could resist, but she knew the latter wouldn’t turn out successful. As much as she didn’t want to, when Pacho Herrera wanted something, you had to give it to him.

But in what way was up to her.

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