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chaotic-iguana · 9 months

Note

how about a five where Javi rejects the reader, so the reader like gets really sad, but one day Javi hears she is going on a date (is not true, Murphy made it up) and he rushed to her apartment and confesses and reader is like ?? What are you talking about, super angsty but super fluffy? Pleaseeee

Out of time | javier peña x f! reader

summary: javi rejects reader. repents like the idiot he is. (i love him) he is a FOOL in love. fight me.

wordcount: 2.1k

warnings: rejection, angst and fluff, hurt and comfort basically, happy ending.

A/N: i got you, anon. this promt is the perfect apology for the last one. repentance fr. love u ALL. let me know what you think. also nothing against “hippies” just giving murphy pov. i do however as an indian have a bone to pick with fake white yoga gurus. it’s gotta be appropriation.

masterlist

Javi had never been heartless before. Never been cruel before. Now, as you pointedly hunched over your desk in an effort to ignore the chortles and cheap jokes that kept sounding from the men crowded around his desk as they all stood around a nameless note someone -you- had slipped onto his desk.

He laughed boisterously with them, before crumpling the paper in his fist and dropping it into the bin next to his chair. You refused to so much as raise your head and look his way, feeling the crushing wave of heartbreak sweeping through you. It wasn’t until you felt a tear on your cheek that you realised that you had started crying, and so you muttered an excuse about getting some coffee before rushing to the bathroom and sobbing in a closed stall. So much for Valentine’s day.

It wasn’t until the end of the day, when you saw him walking your way in the parking lot, that you met his eyes. And you could see, with the set of his jaw; the arch of his brows, that he knew. Before you could scramble into your car, he was yelling after you.

“Is your new hobby being extended to everyone or did I win the lucky draw? Cute note.”

Oh, that bastard.

You scoffed, looking him straight in the eye. “Call it a moment of weakness, Peña. Thought I felt something for you, and it was Valentine’s day. Pretty sure all I feel now is rage, you asshole.”

A laugh from him. “Don’t be like that, hermosa. Let me know if you feel something between your legs for me, alright?”

Scowling, you turned from him and got into your car. You could have sworn he looked like a kicked puppy as you pulled out of the parking. These past few weeks, you had caught him looking at you more often. Finding excuses to touch you more often, too. A hand on your back, fingers accidentally grazing yours, his knee pressed against your thigh in Murphy’s backseat. Fucking idiot. You didn’t even know if you were madder at him or yourself. You know him. All of fucking Bogota knows him. God knows how you were foolish enough to think he felt anything except for between his legs.

A few months go by, excruciatingly slowly. It’s as if time itself has decided to fuck with you. You miss his gaze on you, his hands, his smile, him. You’ve been avoiding him like the plague. Stopped looking at him even when he was in the same room, hardly spoke to him even if it was in the middle of a raid, declined Connie’s many many invitations to parties you knew he’d be at. It was just easier to pretend that February the 14th had been a completely normal day. You’re just tired of all of it. It would have been easier not to have said anything at all.

What you were completely unaware of, however, was that you had a sneaky little shit for a partner. The fact that he had clocked what was going on immediately was completely unbeknownst to you. Both of you pining silently with what Steve dubbed “moony heart eyes”, the radio silence, and the fact that you had stopped talking to Connie just so you didn’t have to show up to her parties? Something had gone wrong. Initially, Steve thought that maybe Javi had made an unwanted move on you - and had damn near scuffed him to death - until he saw Javi’s eyes the next day. Haunted. It seemed that you had managed to take more out of the man than Escobar had. But you weren’t faring much better, either. Irritated and tired and grumbly all the time, refusing to so much as look in Javi’s direction. But you both were pretty much just staying out of each other’s ways, not causing any trouble, so he let it go. For now.

But then Steve and Javi had to chase a lead down together, and Javi introduced him to an informant who - with a little imagination - looked like your spitting image. The same hair, terrifying similar voice, and a lopsided grin, just like yours. And it clicked. The day that had started it all, and the “anonymous” note Javi had gotten. The idiocy with which you both had handled the situation made him want to run unarmed into a sicario’s den, but he came up with another idea instead.

Just before a weekend he knew on good authority that you had no plans except for lounging in bed, he started nudging and hinting to Javi the randomest shit about you. Just to reignite the interest. Almost like, you know - bait.

“Man, her hair looks good. I wonder if she got it done?”

“Hey Peña, d’ya reckon that’s a new skirt? Connie’d kill me if I didn’t ask where from”

“Javi - look - she got her nails done. Before an op? Doesn’t that get a bit…impractical? Hey, I’m jus’ asking.”

Each time, Steve was met with an irritated eyeroll, scoff, or just flat-out ignored. But around midnight on Friday, he ‘bust out the big guns’, so to speak, making an offhanded comment while jutting his chin out in the direction of your chair.

“Good thing she left early. Never woulda made it to the date tomorrow mornin’ otherwise.”

Which, instead of being met with the usual options, was met with Javi’s brain almost short circuiting. The sight of his friend, gaping like a fish as his eyes practically bulged out of his head while he stammered out the easiest one-syllable word in the English language is one Steve can never forget. Or let Javi forget, either.

“W-wha-what?”

And so, like the most devious matchmaker on the planet, Steve proceeded to make up some utter bullshit about a boy he’d supposedly seen you around with, one that had apparently asked you out tonight to meet him for ‘brunch’ tomorrow. Just to fuck with Javi, he made the guy from LA, and a tourist. And white. And the kinda hippie who did yoga and spoke about his newly-discovered chakras all the time.

Javier could feel the blind panic clawing at his chest, his heart threatening to burst. He didn’t know exactly why, but he had hated every single second you hadn’t spoken to him. Laughed at his jokes. Flashed him your smile, even the sarcastic one. He missed your quips and the way you groaned and swore at him when he pissed you off. He’d convinced himself he could live with that. But this? A date with some idiot he knew wouldn’t treat you right? He couldn’t understand his own feelings compelling him to pack up in a frenzy, ignore Steve’s pointed laugh, scramble into his car and drive straight to your apartment. He didn’t even stop to smooth his hair back, or fix the wrinkles in his shirt from slumping in it all day. No, all that mattered to him in that moment was you. Who was he kidding? He knew exactly why he felt the way he did. He’d just been under the illusion that ignoring it would make it go away, but it hadn’t. He had to fix this now.

Standing on your doorstep, Javi blinked for a second while marveling at how fast that drive had been - he’d barely registered doing anything since he heard the word date come out of Steve’s mouth. Hesitation clamped a hand over his mouth, his body, and he stood frozen, unsure of whether to knock or just turn around. But if not now, never, right? And who knew how long he would live? Wasn’t this a time he should be getting what he wants, spending time with the people he…loves?

Before he could overthink himself out of doing it, Javi raised his fist and rapped it against your door, twice. And when you opened the door, rubbing your eyes and standing there in your sleep shorts and an oversized shirt, it took a second for his brain to catch up. It wasn’t until you were squinting at him, then stumbling over nothing as your eyes widened that he realised where he was. The hurt on your face in the split second before you moved to close the door had him jamming his foot in the doorframe.

“Just hear me out, hermosa. I promise if you want me to fuck off after that, I will.”

After waiting for you to nod and open your door wordlessly, he stalked after you, further into your apartment, stunned by how homely it was. The walls had pictures of you and other people laughing, of art and paintings and sketches that seemed to all have been done by the same person; the sofa was a rich brown leather and the fluffy throw on it just a shade lighter. Everything was carefully coordinated, in color and texture, and he couldn’t help but note the contrast. Some of his stuff was still in boxes. He’d been in Colombia for longer than you, and his stuff was still in boxes. The difference was laughable.

But when he heard a sniffle from ahead, he found himself walking faster - practically walking into you - before he was planting his hands on your shoulders to turn you around to him, and then gripping the sides of your arms as if they were his salvation. His eyes searched yours, and the heartbreak he found as you tried to look away threatened to make his knees buckle. So he hooked an index finger under your chin to tilt your head up to him, resting his forehead against yours. Moving his thumb to smooth out the furrow in your brow, he huffed at the stubborn frown that refused to budge.

“I am sorry. I truly am. I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know how to react. I want you, and I did then, too. But I just…didn’t think it was real. I swear I thought you were joking at first. It’s why I let the guys see. Then I saw you in the parking lot, and you were actually sad, and I just panicked. I just don’t think I was ready back then. But I swear to God, I can’t bear another six months of the cold shoulder. I love you, you know. I’ve just been too much of an idiot to realise it.”

For a whole minute, you just stare at him unblinkingly. Then, suddenly, your face crumples, limbs slackening in his grip. He holds you through it, letting you sob into his chest as he coos reassurances and apologies to you until you pull back from his embrace to look at him questioningly once more.

“Why now?” Your words make Javi smile, and he cocks a brow at you.

“You really thought I’d let that idiot take you out before I told you how I feel?”

You look even more confused now, which is confusing him in turn.

“Wait, what idiot?” There’s no twinkle in your eye - no smirk tugging at your lips. Not a joke.

“The one who…asked you out?” Javi cocks his head at you, watching your frown deepen.

“Who?” The absolute befuddlement on your face is on the verge of making him snigger, and he feels his lips twitching already.

“The-does Murphy know? That you weren’t busy tonight?” His overworked mind supplies the answer to him, and he has never more in his life wanted to punch and hug his other partner simultaneously.

“Oh, yeah. He asked cause Connie wanted to know if she could come over? I guess she must have gotten caught- oh. Oh.” Javi gives you a moment to reach the same conclusion he did, and both of you end up bursting out in laughter at the same time.

But Steve was the one with the biggest grin when, come Monday morning, a bottle of premium whiskey and a brand new watch sat on his desk with a little note:

Well played, motherfucker.

What is it they say about couples adopting each other’s habits when they get into a relationship? Javi’d picked up your so-called hobbies within a weekend.

You ended up spending enough time with each other to pick up everything else, too. Call it cliché, but atleast you weren’t boring. Or, you know, going on dates with imaginary guys that existed only in Steve’s extremely limited imagination. Win-win.

hello loves, as always - thank you for reading. comment your thoughts or find me on ao3. stay hydrated and have a great day! taglist: @imherefordeanandbones @theywhowriteandknowthings, @josephquinnswhore,@millerscoffee, @ nostalxgic, @sscorpiiiio, @pedrosaidsheispunk dividers by @reveriesources

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bubbles-for-all-of-us · 10 months

Text

I'll crawl home to you

Next chapter

a/n okay this sat in my notes for so long. I wanted to delete first, then I thought hmm... let's indulge, right? Also, please be gentle, I've never written for Javi.

summary: having a fight with someone you care about right before the mission might be the worst idea ever especially when you don't know if you'll make it out alive.

warnings: fighting, guns, past trauma, injuries, blood, mentions of death...I think that's all.

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"Is Carillo in?", both males lifted their heads from their never-ending piles of documents right as you approached. Each step was laced with nothing but confidence. Only fools would stand in your way. You were nothing like the women Javi was used to. He had never seen you striding across the office in a skirt or a skimpy shirt that most secretarial women preferred here. But then you weren't a secretory ether.

"Yeah, he should be", Steve said, beating Javi to an answer and eyeing the files in your hand. Neatly put as always, followed by the colorful tabs that no one else used, and even if Javi had made fun of them in the past, it was something that constantly reminded him of you. "What's that?", Steve tried to reach for the reports, but you only slapped his hand away playfully. As if he was nothing but a curious kid, shoving his nose into something that wasn't for him. "You'll see. Meeting in five, watch", you stated before walking through Carillo's door, closing it with daring eyes and a wink.

Carillo was the one to command emergency meetings, so you calling the shots looked nothing but childish to an unknowing ear, but then, not even two minutes later, Carillo emerged from the door, "Meeting in five", his voice boomed through the office, and with the corner of his eyes, Javi could see you leaning against the table smiling to yourself.

You fascinated him. There was no other way to go around it. Back when you just joined the team, Javi did doubt you. Toxic masculinity and all that shit got him humbled real quickly alongside all the other sorry fucks who didn't know how to keep their mouths shut. There were not many females among the leading troops, but you were unbeatable. Many men were pissed beyond any mark when Carillo made you his second in command. Even Javi was pissed. Because most of the fuckers here had been here for years, some ten and counting, and it took you less than two to climb almost to the top. But then, no one was better fitted for that role, and with time passing, one thing got even clearer. The thing that pissed Pena off the most was that your position got you and Carillo way too close for Javi's liking. Not that you were his. Not that there was an us.

But you were like an illness clinging to him. Javi couldn't think clearly. Most of his brain was occupied with you. He fucked so many whores when he felt his heart starting to want to lean just to you. He had fucked them all by that time, he was sure that he liked you, but that only made him feel worse. Common Bogota whore. That's what he was. Equally as much, he sold himself both for information and because he needed someone to cling to him, even if it was for the money.

"Why an orphanage?", Steve was leaning against the table, looking down at the papers you had forbidden him to touch five minutes ago. "Would you look there?", you sassed back, making Steve shrug his shoulders in agreement as he continued to flip through all the other documents. "We don't need a full-blown mission. It would just be a check. If we find something to hold onto, we'll send more men", you continued, glancing to Carillo, needing his nods as validation now that the room was dead silent.

"Pena", Carillo called out, getting the agent's eyes to shoot up at him, "You haven't said anything". And it was true he hadn't. One thing that Javi loved was disagreeing. You two were the best at that. But he was never this silent. Regardless of whether he liked the idea or not, he would still share his thoughts, but now you got absolutely nothing.

"Send an armed force; do the thing. I don't understand why we are even discussing this", Javi carelessly threw the case with documents onto the table before crossing his arms over his chest. Your mouth thinned into a straight line. "No armed forces are walking into an orphanage. Those kids have enough trauma to last them a lifetime".

Javi scoffed, running his hand over his beard. "What do you suggest we roll up for a walk there with no guns, no nothing?", he said in an almost mocking manner as his lips curled upward. The room stayed silent. Your eyes met his, and you swallowed thickly. Something in Javi's face twisted. "You can't be serious…", he trailed off. "I'll just go and look; we only need access to the basement parts; hygiene security paper will do the job", you said firmly. The plan seemed simple enough. "You're not going to a potential hideout without a gun", Javi leaned closer to you over the table, fists starting to clench as he glared at you.

"It'll look suspicious", Carillo added, seeming so unphased by all of this and all the things that could go wrong that Javi had to pull the last string of self-control to not pinch him in the face. "Suspicious, my ass, she can be walking into a trap", Javi raised his voice as he shot daggers at the head of the national police unit.

"Since when do you care?", those words took a moment to sink in. And when Javi turned back to you, there was no resemblance to the man you saw a couple of minutes ago. They were dead empty, and there was only anger there. "Good luck dying there since you seem so eager", Javi spat out, not turning away from you because he wanted to see the way your face fell.

"Javi…", Steve muttered. Out of everyone in the office, he was the only one who truly knew just how much you cared for one another. Your eyes started to sting, but you didn't drop the stabbing gaze that Javi was hurling your way, "Don't worry, agent, no one will send you an invite to the funeral". With those words, you turn away from him. Snatching the papers from the table as you turn towards Carillo as if Javi was no longer around.

Did Javi regret his words instantly? No, but he regretted them the moment he watched you unbutton the dress you were going to wear so none other than Carillo would strap communication devices onto your body. He hated that his hands were on your body. Fingers tracing the soft, warm skin. Does Carillo know that Javi's fingers were there too? Does he know that Javi would give up everything, even his career, for the chance to feel that soft skin again on his body every morning? With a frown on his face, Javi put his cigarette out before snatching his jacket off the chair and heading out.

This seemed silly, but you had never gone on a mission with Javi upset with you, and it left a bitter taste in your mouth. Yes, you argued often. Agreeing on something with that man was a challenge, but you made it work most of the time. You would blow each other's brains out by shouting at the office, and then one would always join the other outside for a smoke or just a breath of fresh air.

You would bump Javi's shoulder, making the frown even worse, until your fingers would sneak to pull the cigarette away from his lips so you could take a drag yourself. You would rarely talk. Both stubborn and aware that it would most definitely lead to more fighting. So silence it was. You would lean on Javi's shoulder, and he would never miss an opportunity to bring you closer to him.

The embraces at times felt so intimate that fighting back tears was a challenge. But the smell of Javi's aftershave and the smoke lingering there brought you unimaginable levels of comfort. The same comfort that you felt laying in his bed, tangled in his sheets. It had only happened a couple of times, but those couple of times were enough to make you addicted. Because the Javi at the office was nothing like the Javi you got to see behind closed doors. And it wasn't because he fucked good. No, that anyone could tell. It was because his touch did linger, and behind the wall that he had built for protection was the man who was so capable of love - he had just forgotten it.

"How could I help you, ma'am?", a voice asked, bringing you out of the trance and causing you to flinch slightly. You needed to put your head in check. This. You couldn't allow yourself to think about this while doing your job. "Hygiene check", you said, unfolding the paper and showing it to the elderly lady. She looked you up and down. "Since when are they no longer sending creepy old men?", she asked you sarcastically, and you couldn't help but chuckle. "Since I told them that it's inappropriate, especially around the kids". The woman nodded her head, dropping the paper on the front desk before reaching for the keys. "I'll walk you through the upper floors; the basement is easy to navigate on your own", she stated, moving to walk in front of you.

"Ask her about the size of the lower levels", Carillo's voice rang in your ear, and you flinched again. God, what was going on today? How can you forget that you had a communication set on, with microphones and all? They could hear your surroundings just as much. Focus, you told yourself once more. "A small basement for such a place—surely that's an issue?", you asked her, bringing the fake criteria papers to your chest and reaching for the pen so you could pretend to mark stuff.

"We don't need it. Things like fresh food and other products come in almost daily", she stated. "You have a company you work with?", you asked, looking at the pictures that covered all of the hallways. "Yes, I can give you the information, and the truck that delivered today's packages is still downstairs", she said, yet her voice slowly died down as your eyes fell on the kids playing in the colorfully painted rooms. The big windows allowed you to take a full look at them.

"Why is he alone?", the lady twisted to look back, stopping mid-sentence about the new vegetable stock, catching and following your gaze, now focused on the boy, seated in the furthest corner of the room. Knees up to his chest as he scarcely looked at the other kids. The lady sighed, "He got here not long ago. Hard to adapt. Both of his parents died, as did his sister. He's alone", bile rose in your throat as you swallowed thickly. Suddenly, you wish you had somewhere to lean on.

Javi's muscles tensed as those words rang through the car they all sat in. Carillo was about to speak into the headset, but Javi snatched it out of his hands. He doubted that Carillo knew. Maybe. He would like to believe that no one else did it besides him. That you had only trusted Javi with the story from your past that night. That you had cried because you hadn't told anyone else beforehand, and reliving it was too painful. Javi waited some more, pointing a warning finger at Carillo, who was cursing Javi in Spanish. Javi wanted to give you a moment to try and pull yourself out on your own. You were a big girl, and he knew that you could handle yourself. But everyone had their demons who possessed them at times; this just happened to be yours. Yet another reason why Javi didn't approve of this in the first place.

"You're in Bogota, not back in D.C., carino", Javi's voice filled your ears, and you had to blink a couple of times, feeling the shiver run down your back. Shiver that was followed by a wave of warmth, because if you could hear him, it meant that he came along after all. "Is he looked after?", the question seemed stupid, but you just had to know, even if it had nothing to do with why you were here, "All kids are looked after here, ma'am".

Javi cursed under his breath. You were slipping, and he could feel it. This was just too convenient. Too out of the blue. This had to be set up. To throw you off the hook so they could take you out. Javi could just feel it, and the worry only grew stronger. "Y/N, if you don't feel well, back down", Javi said again. His voice was firm. It was an order, and you knew that it was the correct one as well, but… "I'll look through the basement today", you said softly as you turned to the old lady. "Of course", she said with a nod, rushing to give you the keys.

"Y/n", Javi spoke again as a warning, but you didn't say anything. You closed your eyes for a moment to collect yourself, right as the lady showed you to the back door. Javi moved to get up instead once the line fell silent, but Carillo stopped him with a firm hand on his shoulder, "You don't have the order to interfere". That made Javi's blood boil, "You, out of all people, should feel that she's not in the right mindset to be there", Carillo said nothing, only locking the car doors, his eyes now fully fixed on Javi.

The hour you spent inside there was a nightmare. You took a couple of pictures. Sneaked in some papers that seemed off. Now all you needed to do was walk out of the building, and then it would all be over. A breath that Javi didn't know he was holding slipped past his lips as he watched you walk out of the building, turning back to wave to the elderly lady before you moved closer to the street that separated you from the rest of the team. Even from back there, Javi could tell that your eyes looked hazy. A new worry sparked. What if you misread the speed of the car? What if you get hit? Javi reached for the door handle, his eyes not leaving you for a moment.

You looked around a couple more times before stepping forward; your eyes met Javi's desperate ones. And even if he knew that you were beyond pissed at him, you still shot him a slight smile. A little something that would keep his nerves at bay for now. Until you crossed the street and Javi could once again sense your perfume lingering in the car.

And then a blink of an eye changes everything. A bullet suddenly pierces your shoulder, sending you staggering back onto the street. It feels like the world had stopped as Javi watched the red stain get bigger and bigger. "Get down", Carillo shouted at the top of his lungs, making a handful of men drop to their knees, but Javi didn't move. He pushed off the car and rushed forward, "Pena, that's an order", but he was done with following orders for today. Another shot rang out. This time it sounded a lot stronger, and you suddenly gripped your lower stomach. That made Javi lose all sense; he took off running, and suddenly the distance seemed way too long. Pushing panicked people to the side as he scratches his way to you.

You didn't register the first bullet; it was like your mind blanked, and only the feeling of something wet dripping down your shoulder made you frown at the situation. It's the second bullet that pierced your left side that made you let out a scream. One that kept ringing in your ears. You could see people moving, but no one was stopping to look at you. Your mind was running so fast yet so slowly at the same time. Blinking started to get harder, your breaths were painful and shallow now.

"Carino", you heard before you could even see the face, and for a second, it felt like you were imagining it all. "Keep your eyes open", said Javi, who was now leaning over you, palm cradling your cheek as he pats it a couple of times to keep you conscious for as long as possible. Another shot rang out, and Javi turned around to fire his gun before his attention was back on you. "Not safe", you mutter, your weak fingers now wrapped around Javi's wrist. "I'll be fine", he stated blankly, drawing his gaze up for just one moment, catching a glimpse of Steve tackling a male to the ground before he's looking down at your paling face, "Can you press your palms to your shoulder, baby?"

When you don't move, Javi is the one moving his palm over the second wound, pressing as hard as he possibly can. "Let me", you mutter, and God or whatever that people believe in knows Javi was glad you don't finish that sentence because he can't and won't think of that outcome. "Don't you dare? You're walking out of here, you hear me?", Javi said letting go of your shoulder. He patted your cheek again as your eyes rolled to the back of your head for a moment. Anger only rushed faster as Javi shouted once again for an ambulance or a medic.

"He had Michael's eyes", you muttered, breathing now even, though Javi knew what that meant - your body was crashing. "Did he, carino?", he knows this is not a conversation he should be having with you, but he's desperate to keep you awake for as long as possible. Javi's hands were soaked with your blood by now, and so was your flowery dress. You nodded your head weakly and said, "I saw Mikey". Javi clenched his jaw, trying to keep his emotions at bay. "I hope you said hi from me as well", but your head lulled to the side. Javi's blood went ice cold because, for a split second, he thought that was it—you were dead. You bled out in his arms. Letting go of your wounds, Javi pulled you closer to his chest, your limp body looking nothing like a rag doll in his arms. The sirens rang somewhere in the air, but now all Javi could think of was how he would never be the same if you never opened your eyes again.

#javier pena x reader #javier pena imagine #javier pena x you #javi pena x reader #javi pena x you #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal x reader #narcos imagine #narcos x reader #narcos fanfiction

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iiconicxpersona · 11 months

Text

Don’t Leave Me

Javier Peña x f!reader

Summary: After an extremely traumatic experience during the Escobar case, reader debates between staying in Colombia with Javier or leaving him for good.

Warnings: smut (18+) mvrd3r, depression, angst, read at your own risk, minors DNI

A/N: Had to repost because original only posted half 😫 to be fair I was at target lmao

Life as the significant other of a DEA agent was no joke, especially for Javier Peña. You had heard the horror stories on the news, and you knew there was much more gruesome details Javier wasn’t telling you about. He sheltered you to the best of his abilities for your sake and for the sake of his own sanity. He liked coming home to some sort of normalcy, but he loved how even after the most life threatening days all it took was holding you in his arms and kissing your lips to make everything all right again. You were his sanctuary, his home.

However, after a year into your relationship with Javi, you finally got a small taste of what Pablo Escobar and the Colombian cartels were capable of.

Javier didn’t give you too many details, but he warned you that it might be safer for you to go back to America and stay with your family until the heat cooled down. Pablo had figured out Javier and Steve Murphy were hot on his tracks and the last thing Javi wanted was for you to get hurt. Nevertheless, you fought against the idea of leaving him—even if it was just temporary—until Javi finally gave in. “You got yourself a fighter, Javs.” Murphy would tell him.

“She doesn’t know what she’s getting herself into.” Javier would respond.

He was right. You had absolutely no fucking idea of what you were getting yourself into, until one morning you woke up to the nonstop ringing of the doorbell to your and Javi’s shared apartment. You should’ve known something was up when you looked through the peephole and saw that nobody was there, but curiosity got the best of you.

When you opened the door, there was a package on the floor with no labels on it. You wanted to ignore it, and if Javier didn’t have to leave early for work that morning he would’ve gotten rid of it himself. You had a gut feeling not to open it, but your body reacted faster than your brain and before you knew it the package was sitting on the coffee table in front of you. The apartment was quiet. Too quiet. Quiet enough that if the package was a bomb, you would hear it. No such sound was made. The Devil and Angel on your shoulders raged against each other on the idea of opening it until you finally started cutting the tape off.

The scream that left your lungs at the sight haunted the entire apartment complex for months. Inside the box were the lifeless head and hands of a woman with features similar to yours. The hands cradled each side of the head while wrapped securely in saran wrap to prevent the blood from dripping. It was pretty clear that this was a message for Javi and for you. They know who you are. They’re watching you.

Javier knew right then and there that you were no longer safe from the reality of this cruel world. His home had been tainted. His sanctuary had burned to the ground. This was all his fault. He shouldn’t have asked you out the night Steve’s wife Connie introduced you. He shouldn’t have called you back for a second and third date. He shouldn’t have made love to you. He shouldn’t have fallen in love with you, but he did.

He fell hard for you, and the worst part is you fell just as hard for him too, even when there were so many signs from his job alone telling you to leave him. This package was the biggest sign of them all.

As much as he loved you, Javier wouldn’t have blamed you one bit if you decided to break up with him. He expected it to happen sooner or later, but despite everything you still chose to stay. “Javier, I love you. We’re in this together no matter what.”

“I promise, cariño, I’m done when this is over. I love you. I want you to marry me. I want you to be the mother of my children. I want to start a new life with you.”

“I want that too, Javi, so much.”

—

Life only seemed to get harder ever since the package delivery scene. As if it wasn’t enough to try and protect himself and Steve on a daily basis, now you were added to the mix. Even though he knew during the day you were safe with Connie at work, on the inside he still worried himself to death over you. He needed to know where you were at every hour of the day and to know you were safe. Steve tried to convince Javi to think of you as one of the former informants he used to sleep with and toss to the back burner while on the job, but Javi couldn’t if he tried. He didn’t love them. He loves you.

That’s the problem; you love Javier. You don’t want to be without him. You and Javier belong together. So why are you still fighting the thought of leaving him? Why are you still looking for any excuse to pack your things and walk away from Colombia and from Javi forever? Why can’t you do it when he flat out tells you “if you want to leave then leave”?

Ever since the delivery, you felt your love for Javier and your sanity struggling to balance on a sewing thread. You couldn’t get the image of the lifeless body parts out of your head. The face of the poor woman haunted you in your sleep. It was as if you were watching like a fly on the wall as her life was being taken away just for a few of her remains to be on your doorstep. And for what? Why did it have to take harming an innocent woman to scare you?

Javier could feel you slipping away from him. Every time he tried to pull you back down to earth, it only ended in an argument. He didn’t like going to bed with your back facing him. He didn’t like ending every fight with giving you the opportunity to leave him for good. He didn’t like going to bed angry and waking up to you not talking to him. He didn’t like hearing you silently sob yourself back to sleep after your reoccurring nightmares, but he had no choice. You weren’t the same anymore. He hated his job for fucking up his own sanity, but he hated it even more for destroying the one good thing he was given in his life; you.

—

After a month of trying to overcome everything by yourself, you finally decided to seek professional help from one of the therapists the DEA provided. Connie recommended for you to see her therapist, Trinidad, after Javier came to Connie desperate for some advice.

Trinidad understood the confidentiality of the ongoing investigation, so she didn’t press you for details. You explained to her about your nightmares and your relationship with Javi. In the end she was only there to let you talk her ear off and prescribe you with anxiety and anti-depressant medication. If it wasn’t for the obvious reasons, you could’ve just called your mom or best friend and did all this from home for free.

By the time Javi came home from work that night, you were already in bed with your back facing his side. You weren’t asleep—God knows you haven’t had a decent sleep in a month—instead you just stared blankly at the wall in front of you. Feeling Javi’s body weight taking his place on his side of the bed, you waited anxiously for the sound of his faint snore to signal it was time for you to yet again sob yourself to sleep.

However, you felt the weight change and suddenly his body was pressed against your back. One of his hands caressed your hip as he began trailing gentle kisses from your shoulder, to your neck, all the way to the shell of your ear.

“Cariño, come back to me, por favor.” He whispered.

Oh how your body ached for his touch. It feels like forever since he last called you ‘cariño’. You didn’t realize how much you missed him. Even though your body was telling him different, your words were trying to push him away.

“Javi, please, don’t.” You groaned as your head fell backwards and your fingers entangled in his hair.

“Please mi vida. We haven’t made love in so long. I miss you.” His hand ran slowly under your sleepwear, at the same time pushing you gently backwards until your body was fully pressed against him.

You gasped at the feel of his bare body spooning you. The arm that was holding him up snaked under your neck and secured your upper body in place as his other hand slowly massaged your soaking wet clit. A desperate moan escaped your lips and you began grinding yourself on his hand.

“Fuck. I missed you so much, baby.” He groaned against your ear.

“I missed you too, Javi. So. Much.” Your legs began spreading wider until your top leg overlapped his own.

His hand fully engulfed your pussy and his fingers slowly worked their way inside you, massaging your walls as you tightened around him. The sound of your moans making him harder than a rock and you could feel how desperate he was to be inside you by how hard he was dry humping you from the back.

You turned your head to face him with your hand still gripping his hair and your hips grinding harder into his hand. “Kiss me.” You moaned.

He didn’t hold back. Javier kissed you so deeply that it took your breath away. Almost as if you were experiencing it for the first time. In fact, this felt almost similar to when he did make love to you for the first time. He made you feel safe. He made you feel beautiful. He worshipped your body like an absolute goddess, kissing every scar and every beauty mark he could find and devouring you like you were his only meal.

The only restraint you had on him were the clothes you had on and you knew he was getting desperate to tear them off, but he also wanted to take his time with you. He wanted to make you feel good. To release the fear and tension that held you captive from him for the past month. He was desperate just to have you back.

His hand gradually picked up the pace and you whined in pure bliss in his mouth. “Javi… baby… I’m gonna cum.”

“Cum for me, baby. Cum for me.” Javier whispers in between kisses.

Your lips connected once more in a deep breathtaking kiss as you came hard on his hand. Beads of sweat now starting to form on your bodies.

You rode out your high on his hand and continued to kiss him at the same time, cherishing every moment. “I love you.” You moaned in between kisses.

“I love you too. More than anything.” His hand slipped out of your pants and you both adjusted yourselves to where he was now on top of you in a missionary position. “Querida, I don’t want to be without you, but I don’t want you to live in fear with me either. You’re so pure to me, so fragile. I’ll protect you no matter what. Just please, please don’t leave me like that again.”

Tears fell down your face as you stared up at him. Your heart swelled and broke in your chest at the same time. You didn’t realize it until now, but you scared him. The entire month you shut yourself away from him scared him more than any dangerous curveball his job threw at him. He could be sitting face to face with Escobar himself and that didn’t scare him as much as the thought of knowing his last memory of you would be you scared, tired, sad and angry with him. No last kiss, no last ‘see you later my love’, no last lunch time call, no nothing. And at that moment, you hated yourself for being so selfish the past month. “I’m so sorry, Javi. I didn’t realize—“

He shushed you and gently wiped away your tears. “No llores, mi vida. You have nothing to be sorry about. Just promise me you’ll try to talk to me next time. That’s all I ask.”

You immediately nodded and peppered his lips with kisses. “I will. I’m so sorry baby. I love you so much.” You said in between.

“I love you too.” He returned each kiss and embraced your body closer to him.

Your hands gripped at his bare back as your legs wrapped around his waist. “Make love to me, Javi.” You whispered.

Without hesitation he pulled you up high enough to remove your top, exposing your breasts and you helped him remove your shorts and panties until you were just as bare as he was.

Still sitting upright on his knees, he hugged you body close to him as you adjusted yourself on his lap until his tip was pushing inside you. For a brief moment, you and Javi stared lovingly into each others eyes, saying everything you couldn’t spit out into words right now and kissed each other passionately.

Gasping as you sunk down on him, you had to take a moment to adjust to his size. A month felt like an eternity without him inside you. He groaned as your walls clenched around him and he gently pushed himself further inside you, guiding your hips with his hands as he felt you slowly grind down on him and your body relaxing.

“There you go, baby. Relax for me.” He smiled in the kiss.

You broke the kiss to throw your head back from the pleasure, but one of his hands caught the back of your head and guided you back down to him. “No baby, keep your eyes on me.” He begged and you nodded.

Javi wanted to cherish every moment when he would make love to you. He loved the way your body moved perfectly with his, how the sweat covered you from head to toe, the way your eyes desperately tried to stay open to look at him even when he was balls deep inside you. But what he loved most of all was the sounds you made. The praises that spilled from your beautiful lips, letting him know exactly how good he was making you feel. He loved hearing you moan, especially his name. He didn’t care if anyone else in the complex heard them or not, but if they did then he wanted them to know it was him and only him that could make you feel this good. Just as you wanted everyone to know you belong to Javier Peña and Javier Peña belongs to you.

He pushed you backwards until you were back in the missionary position and kissed you once more. His arms hooked your legs over them and he spread you open wider. Biting at your jawline and chin. His thrusts slammed into you harder and deeper, making you and him moan each other’s names louder. Your nails clawed at his back and he hissed.

It must have occurred to both of you subconsciously that he wasn’t wearing protection and you haven’t taken your birth control pills in the past week, but that didn’t slow either of you down.

“I want you to have my babies.” He groaned against your lips and continued thrusting deep into you.

“Then give them to me, Javi.” You moaned.

Javier lost all self restraint at that moment. He gripped tighter at your legs as his thrusts became faster and deeper, making you cry out for him even louder.

“Ahh, Javi… oh god! So! Fucking! Good!”

“You’re so fucking perfect cariño. All mine.”

You could feel that both of you are so close. His thrusts became sloppy and desperate as you fell apart underneath him.

“Are you ready, my love?” He kissed you once more and tried to keep eye contact with you.

“Give me your babies, Javi.”

And just like that, you both came undone hard at the same time and quivered in each others embrace.

Javi stayed on top of you and kept himself buried deep inside you as if he was afraid of spilling out. You smiled up at him and kissed him passionately once more.

“There’s that beautiful smile I missed so much.”

You giggled. “I’m never leaving you again.”

#javier peña #javier peña narcos #javier peña x reader #javier peña smut #javier peña x y/n #javier peña fanfiction #javier peña imagine #narcos fanfiction #narcos imagine #pedro pascal x reader

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ithebookhoarder · 7 months

Note

Hey! I love your writing🥹 If you’re taking requests, please could I get your take on: female reader & Javi P are in a relationship. She finds out she’s pregnant a couple of weeks before a huge raid and hides it from everyone. During the raid she gets cornered by one of Pablo’s men and screams “I’m pregnant, I’m pregnant” Javi’s hears over the radio, his head snaps up and he takes off running to find her, Steve not far behind. + the aftermath once they get back to the embassy. Thank you ❤️

Crossroads (Javier Peña x AFAB!Reader)

A/n: MY HEART 💔 Thank you to whoever sent this gem in! I promise I’m also working on all the other requests in my inbox. I have them all started as drafts, but I get random bursts of inspiration for one at a time and then this happens. I’m so sorry for those of you patiently waiting - I will get to finishing them. Soon. This one just popped in my inbox and ran away with me... oops?

Warnings: Swearing, violence, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of possible termination of pregnancy, injury, references to drugs and the cartel.

Masterlist

You didn’t know why you hadn’t told Javi. It seemed strange now, to think that you hadn’t told the one person who deserved the most to know.

Maybe it was denial? Fear? Fear that he’d react badly? Fear he’d react with excitement?

You couldn’t be sure, but why you hadn’t told him didn’t matter now so much as the fact itself. You hadn’t told Javi you were pregnant, and now it was too late.

Now, you were stood inside a crappy warehouse, alone, waiting on a contact to confirm intelligence for a raid you had planned for later that night. Sure, you could tell him tonight once this whole mess was over with, but that was dependant on both of you getting out of this operation unscathed - and whilst you were both great agents, you’d learned long ago never to under-estimate the prey you hunted.

Escobar and his network were intelligent, well connected, and somehow always one step ahead. It was why you relied so heavily on contacts such as the one you were meeting right now.

Only eighteen, Sophia was the daughter of one of Escobar’s runners and desperate to get herself and her family away from the cartel.

She had approached you some weeks ago, begging and pleading for your help fleeing the country. In exchange she had offered the one thing of value she had - intel. Positioned close enough to the organisation to gather information, Sophia was also removed enough not to attract attention or suspicion. Hell, she said none of Escobar’s men even acknowledged her existence unless they wanted a drink, a smoke, or to paw at something during their visits.

It seemed like a perfect opportunity for everyone involved. Or, it had, should you say… now, staring at your watch as the minutes ticked by with no sign of the young girl, you began to suspect something was wrong.

God damn it.

You sighed, running a hand through your hair as you tried to fight the urge to radio out to the surveillance van positioned further down the street. There was no need to get them worked up yet, not when Sophia could just be running late… the last thing you needed was Javi or Steve getting antsy and pulling you out, blowing your cover and fucking up the raid you had planned for later tonight.

No, those two had always been protective over you, long before you and Javi had started seeing each other romantically. It was frustrating, even if a little flattering at the same time, to know you had two such loyal friends and partners.

They never held the fact that you were a woman against you, but then again they’d never had cause to. Now? Now you were a walking stereotype. A liability. A pregnant woman carrying her partner’s child whilst trying to run ops in the middle of a war zone… They’d pull you out of the field so fast it would make your head spin - something you had worked too hard to risk. Not until you were certain… certain it was what you wanted, hence your decision to keep things quiet for now.

In fact, the only person who was aware that something was different about you was Connie, and that was because you had needed her help to confirm it.

What with her job at the clinic, and being Steve’s wife, Connie was the best option when it came to confirming your fears, rather than trying to risk a visit to a local doctor - one who was likely to talk to whoever would ask, no matter whether it was one of Escobar’s men, or even someone who could feed it back to the embassy.

No. Connie was your only choice, being both discreet and loyal to a fault - something you had never been more grateful for than now. That, and she was your closest friend outside of the office. There was no one else you wanted more to be holding your hand whilst you waited to find out if this was actually happening.

She had also been more than willing to talk you through your options afterwards, promising to honour your wishes no matter what you decided - even if she kept trying to convince you to tell Javi.

"He deserves to know," she'd sighed softly, holding your hand and wiping away your tears. "He's kind and he loves you. All he'd want is to support you. You know that."

If only you could be so sure of that.

Javi? A baby? The two things didn't seem compatible, even if he did have a soft spot for Olivia, but she wasn't his... a biological child that was yours to raise, protect, and nurture... it was a whole other situation - and given that Javi thought coffee was a food group, a situation you weren't sure he was ready for yet.

Hell, you weren't even sure you were ready for this yet, which was probably why you hadn’t made any decision other than to just carry on working like nothing was wrong until such a time as the answer came to you... if it came to you... or perhaps the universe would answer it for you...

Why else would you be risking your neck here in this warehouse, late at night, distracting yourself and delaying the inevitable moment where you’d be forced to chose?

After all, inaction was still action in this kind of situation. You knew you couldn't keep putting off the conversation forever, but that didn't make it any easier to know what to say or do in this situation.

Thankfully, that was the moment you were startled from your spiralling thoughts as footsteps echoed across the room.

You recognised the sound as someone came in, closing the squeaking rusted door you’d already entered through.

“Sophia?”

You watched as the girl crept from the darkness, nervously tugging at her sleeves.

You paused.

As timid as Sophia had seemed previously when you met one another, you still felt something was off as she moved towards you. It was like the energy rolling off of her was wrong... sending shivers running down your spine as you felt your fingers twitch towards the gun sat at your side.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah, over here,” you called, “I was starting to think you weren't going to show.”

It was like watching a rabbit, twitching, with wide eyes, like she was about to bolt at the first sound. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? What for?” you asked. “It’s ok. You could have called to say you were going to be late but-”

Then you heard it.

The click as the gun was cocked behind you.

Without even turning you knew you had been betrayed.

“Sophia,” you sighed, trying not to let the fury show on your face as you stared at the sobbing girl in front of you. After all, you couldn’t really blame her had you been in her situation. You should have expected it, actually. The call had been far too easy and the information too tantalising for the DEA to pass up.

Still, that didn’t change the fact you were now here… stuck… held at gun point by the two men who had entered the room when you weren’t looking.

Shit.

You really had been distracted tonight and now you were paying the price for your mistakes.

“I’m sorry.”

The apology was barely audible through the girl’s tears.

“Me too, kid. Me too.”

You watched as one of the men kept his gun trained on you, whilst the other marched over to Sophia and shoved the wad of cash into her hand before pushing her out the door in a clear message to beat it. They had what they wanted, as did Sophia - she had her life and her freedom, for now.

Who knew how long it would actually last...

Hell, who knew how long you’d last given this sudden change of events?

The door had barely shut behind her when the man who’d given her the cash turned back towards you.

“So, you’re the one who’s been snooping around? Trying to get our girl to talk?” he teased, his tone cold and mocking. “Don’t you know what happens to little girls who stick their noses in places it don’t belong?”

The threat was clear as he grinned, his friend walking around you so that you could see the gun held in his hand, pointing directly at you.

Your own gun was snatched from its position at your side, tucked instead into the man's jeans for safe keeping.

“Well, lucky for you, the boss wants to know what you know, and where you got that intel from,” your captor continued, his tone oozing with a sick satisfaction. “If you tried to make a rat out of Sophia, who knows who else you’ve got squeaking away in your gringo ear. So, you see, we can’t just kill you, else I’d be pulling this trigger right here and now… but when we’re through with you, you’ll wish I had.”

You couldn't help it. You flinched as the man nearest you stepped closer, gesturing towards the door with his gun in an obvious signal.

“Move,” he hissed. “Now.”

Shit.

You take a deep breath, trying to remind yourself that you weren’t alone. That your comms were still in place, and that there were still men positioned outside the warehouse. The moment you emerged, with two men holding you at gun point they would be surrounded.

But would that be before or after they had the chance to pull the trigger and plant a bullet in the back of your skull?

You’d seen enough of these hostage situations to know how they went down, to know that the hostage didn’t always make it out… the directive was to remove the sicarios - they were the priority.

Not you.

It was that thought that made your stomach roll as you began to move, legs shaking so hard you weren’t sure you could stand.

"Where are we going?” you stammered, you mouth so dry you can hardly form the words.

“Shut up, bitch," the thug sneered, shoving you forward. You could practically taste his contempt. “Keep walking unless you want me to shoot you in the leg and drag you myself.”

You knew he’d do it too. He seemed the type to be cruel - to get off on inflicting pain and exercising what tiny slither of power he had.

However, you also knew that letting these guys move you to a second location was as good as a death sentence.

No, this was it.

You had to make your final stand here and now if you even wanted a chance of making it out of this in one piece.

It was for that reason you said a silent prayer before clenching your fists. Two on one… it wasn’t the best, but it wasn’t the worst odds either. You just had to be smart. After all, they needed you alive for now - they’d foolishly revealed that much.

You could work with that.

"You do realise that waiting outside those doors is a whole bunch of DEA agents, right?" you jabbed. "You walk outside with that gun pointed at me and you're dead."

"Shut up, bitch," the man with the gun snapped back sharply. "You think we're gonna fall for that? Nice try. Now, get moving."

"Hey, it's your funeral."

"I said shut up-"

"Dude, maybe we should go out the other way," his colleague interjected, the hesitation exactly what you'd been hoping for. "We can get the van round out the back, off the road and out of sight of any police."

"No."

You took the distraction as your cue.

The moment you felt the gun drop from your back you were on them, throwing the weapon upwards and sending the resulting shot up into the ceiling.

Your foot was next, smashing up between the man’s legs in a well rehearsed manoeuvre, followed by your elbow slamming into the other man's face, stopping him before he could reach for you.

The few precious seconds you'd bought yourself were all you needed to make a run for it, bolting back towards the doors up ahead.

Your fingers reached up, squeezing the switch on the side of the mic you had taped under your collar, ready to call for back up.

But you never got the chance.

Your fingers had just grazed the switch when you felt something collide with you from behind. A great weight that sent you crashing down onto the ground, hard.

You tried to roll over, only to be met with a fist slamming into your face, too fast for you to even try and block him.

The ferocious assault caused your head to bounce off of the concrete with a sickening thud. Pain exploded, your eyes filling with tears, and your vision blurred as the shock of the impact resonated, unleashing agony that pulsed through your skull.

A silent cry escaped your lips, full of shock and pain.

Shit.

Your assailant jumped off of you, following through with a swift, vicious kick to your ribs, knocking all the air from your lungs with the force of the blow.

Scrunching your eyes tightly, you tried to fight the nausea and pain, to fight for a precious breath.

“Stop,” you begged, hating how weak you sounded. However, something inside you roared, an urge to fight taking over you - but not just for yourself, but for the future that was growing inside of you... a future you hadn’t been sure of until right now…

Now, as you stood to lose it.

It suddenly didn’t matter if Javi wanted this baby or not, or if he would be happy or terrified or disappointed. What mattered was that he would never get the chance to be any of those things, to decide for himself, to have the opportunity to choose what life he wanted.

He needed to know… you couldn’t die here, without him knowing…

“Stop, please!" you pleaded. "I’m pregnant! I’m pregnant!”

Without even thinking, you curled your legs in tight, huddling into a ball and trying to block your stomach before he could land the next blow.

However, it never came.

“Hold on!” your assailant’s partner scolded. "Not here. The boss wants her alive for now.”

He paused. "The bitch deserves it!"

Then you heard it - the door slamming open. The thundering of boots running across concrete towards you. Orders barked in Spanish.

You watched as your assailants silently gaped in horror, raising their hands above their heads as they were suddenly surrounded by figures...

Why was it so hard, all of a sudden, to make things out?

It was hard to distinguish one sound from another, to see anything beyond colours and shapes as your world began to dissolve. The warehouse was replaced by a dark haze that seemed determined to consume you no matter how hard you fought against it.

“Y/N!”

Javi’s voice echoed in your ears, a swirling sound full of panic, yet it somehow made you feel calm... safe...

“Y/N!”

“Javi,” you croaked, as you felt yourself slipping into the darkness.

Your body had turned into cement.

That was the first thought that crossed your muddled mind as you felt the beginnings of consciousness returning to you. It was as if every part of you had decided to refuse to respond to your demands, held down by invisible weights.

You'd been knocked unconscious once or twice before in your lifetime, but this grogginess was a first... an uncomfortable and disconcerting force, trapping you on the brink of the land of living.

You had no choice but to lay there, helplessly listening to the sounds around you, each becoming clearer as your faculties gradually returned

Machinery beeping.

Footsteps passing in the hallway.

Voices caught in frantic conversations.

"- Javi, calm down. I know. I'm the one who should be feeling guilty, letting her walk in there by herself." "We all thought the meet was secure, Murphy. How could we know she was gonna turn on us? And Y/N, the crazy, stupid - Why didn't she tell me?"

Javi’s voice was full of anguish.

"Dude, calm down. Y/N’s the strongest person I know. She’s alive and gonna wake up. You heard the doctor, the swelling in her head is down and she’s going to wake up. That’s all that matters now. You can discuss the baby, and what you’re going to do, later."

The baby? You caught the words, a weird rush of relief flooding through you at the confirmation that your baby was alright...

Thank god.

And Javi knew?

That thought echoed over and over in your mind as you felt yourself beginning to fade back into the darkness from which you had come.

Stubble softly scraping the back of your hand was the first thing you noticed when you finally came to. That, and the pressure of someone squeezing your hand tightly.

You knew the grip without even opening your eyes. You'd felt it often enough, the rough calloused hand holding yours, brushing against you, touching every single part of you... "You've got to wake up, honey," came an also familiar sound, luring you ever closer to the land of the living.

You'd know that voice anywhere, considering it had become your constant companion. It was the first thing you heard every morning and the last thing you heard at night.

"Please," it continued. "I'm so sorry, ok? Sorry for everything - for making you feel like you couldn't tell me about this. Just... shit... I need you to wake up, cause I fucking love you and I can't- can't lose you-"

Somehow, that was all it took. Those words flipped a switch inside you, allowing you to find the strength to peel your eyes open and register the full extent of your surroundings - including the man sat beside you.

Turning your head, you were greeted with a sight so perfect a part of you thought you must still be dreaming.

Javi.

Sat next to you, you realised he had your hand pressed to his cheek, his lips pressing soft kisses to it in between words.

He didn't seem to notice the fact that you had stirred, so lost in his desperation. It was probably why he jumped, flinching as you reached over with your free hand to run your fingers through his hair.

"I love you too," you croaked in greeting.

“Y/N?”

Javi had never seemed so fragile as he did then. Eyes wide, he looked nothing like the ice-cold DEA agent you often glimpsed in the field. Instead, he looked like one good gust of wind would send him toppling to the ground had he not already been sat down in one of the plastic chairs that you had come to recognise from your repeated visits.

“Javi, where - where am I?" you continued softly, "What happened? What day is it?" "Sssh. It’s alright. It's almost Saturday. You've been unconscious for over twenty-four hours, even if it felt fucking longer.” His hands were warm as they cupped both sides of your face, guiding you towards him as he kissed you like his life depended on it.

It was as if neither of you could get close enough to one another, you curling yourself eagerly into his side, breathing in the soft scent of his cologne and cigarette smoke.

“I... I’m sorry,” you choked, the words tumbling out of you before you could even realise what you were saying. “It was my fault. I should have known that something was wrong-”

“No,” Javi scolded, tensing at your guilt-ridden tone. "No, don't say that. Don't - don't do that to yourself. This isn't on you. It's a fuck up - a colossal fuck up, yes, but one we didn't see coming. We vetted the source. She was good. We cleared the meet with Carillo and the Ambassador... there was no way we could have prevented this."

"But-?"

"Carino. Stop. Please," he begged. Yes, Javi actually begged and it was enough to stun you into silence. "I just... talking about the meet? I honestly don't care about all that right now. The who, why how of what happened will still fucking be there later... but right now? Now, you're here... you're alive... and you're finally awake."

His tone melted your heart, making you somehow wish you could absorb every ounce of pain he was experiencing. It hurt you, to know you had caused the man you loved such agony. In a way, you'd had a slightly easier time of it, being the one to sleep through the after math of this disaster. He had had the hardest job; waiting, watching, and worrying.

You knew that pain yourself, having experienced it firsthand since your arrival in Colombia. You'd never forget how it had nearly torn you apart, waiting as Javi had been admitted after a close shave in a shoot-out.

Those two days had felt like an eternity. Two days with no news... just sitting and waiting and praying.

“I ... I could hear you, by the way.”

“What?”

“I heard you,” Javi repeated softly, snapping you out of your head and solidly back into the present, “over the radio. I heard what you said when those assholes hit you - about the baby-”

You froze.

Despite knowing that this moment would inevitably come, now that it was finally upon you, you suddenly wished you were back in the realm of unconsciousness you'd just come from.

"Javi," you began nervously, your voice barely above a whisper. "Please, don't be mad at me-"

“-Well, too bad, sweetheart because I am mad. So mad," he exclaimed sharply, "I'm mad at you for not telling me, for putting yourself in danger like that, knowing you're pregnant. I’m not saying you had to decide to keep it or whatever, but it would have been fucking nice to be asked. To know. To not find out after you put yourself on the line." "I- I didn't know what else to do."

“And I’m sorry for making you feel like that,” Javi added swiftly, his tone softening with every passing moment.

It was like watching the air deflating out of a tire, the fear and the rage dissipating almost as quickly as it had first appeared.

“I get it, why you may not have wanted to tell me... I’m mad at myself that you felt you had to do this alone. I thought you’d trust me enough to know I’d support you, no matter what you decided.”

“I do, Javi,” you sobbed, unable to prevent a tear from escaping your eye. “I just... I got scared and I panicked. I think keeping it secret was more my way of pretending this wasn't real, that I could act like it wasn't happening, that I had more time.”

Silence.

“Javi, please say something. Anything...”

"What's there to say? You're pregnant." He shrugged in a desperate attempt to look nonchalant, but you could see the truth. Underneath it all, Javier Peña was utterly terrified.

It didn't matter how much he tried to hide it behind that calm swagger of his, and the crossing of his arms over his chest - you knew him better than anyone. You'd seen him at his very best and his very worst. Such was the lot of living in a war zone, let alone falling in love in one.

Fighting the urge to let your tears escape your burning eyes, you reached over and took his hands in yours. To your relief, he didn't fight you. Instead, he lifted his gaze, his eyes wide and telling you all you needed to know without even asking.

He had obviously spent the last 24 hours mulling the entire situation over and over in his head since the moment he had first heard the news. Lord knows he'd probably imagined each and every possible outcome for the future... your future... "Y/N, I don't know what to say or do. I never even thought about being a parent."

"Me either..." you confessed, relieved to finally be able to say the words aloud to the man who'd needed to hear them the most. "I mean, could the timing be better? yes. I never pictured something like this happening so early on, but it has and now we have a choice to make. To have longer, just the two of us... Or to become a family of three, but either way we'll work it out together. I will love you unconditionally, no matter what you choose but you're my partner, Javi. You have a say in this too. We're a team."

"Y/N," Javi whispered, his voice pained. "I ... I thought I'd lost you... back there in that warehouse, seeing you lying on the ground, knowing I could have lost you, lost this - it was all my worst fears realised." Gently taking your head between his hands, he wiped the tears away. "I love you, too," he declared. "And... if you want this, with me, then I'll try to be a good father."

It was as if a weight had been taken off of you. To know that he was with you, no matter what... that was all you'd ever wanted.

"That's all I can ask for, Javi," you whimpered, failing to hide the playful smile that fell into place, "because let's face it; you don't have much choice anyway, because I'm not going anywhere."

Javi's own signature smirk tugged at his lips. “Good, because I can't lose you... I can't be left with just Murphy. Can you imagine? We'd drive ourselves into an early grave.”

"Javi!"

It felt blissful for you both the be able to laugh again. To joke like nothing had changed between you, even if it had - for the better, ultimately.

“Speaking of... Where’s Steve?”

Javi paused. “Went with Connie to get coffee - I feel I should mention that Steve’s pissed you didn't tell him too, you know.”

You groaned. You weren't surprised. “I’ll add him to the list of apologies. Do you think making him and Connie godparents would make it better?”

“Woah there,” Javi scoffed, the beginning of a smile tugging at his lips. “One day at a time, querida. One day at a time.”

#ithebookhoarder #masterlist #thesilentmage #javier peña x you #javier pena x reader #javier peña #javier peña x reader #javier pena x you #narcos x reader #narcos fanfic #narcos fanfiction #narcos imagine #pedro pascal character #pedro pascal x reader #steve murphy x you #steve murphy x reader #narcos

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joelslastofus · 1 year

Text

[SMMARY: TW: SA You’re Javier’s ex girlfriend who was assaulted two years ago by a man he was after. The two of you are intimate for the first time since your assault.]

Fluff, Angst, Javier being super gentle

“Look at me, baby. Look at me” he stood still making sure you focused on him, grabbing your face in his hands.

It had been two years since you had started working as a cashier at the grocery store. Two years since your life had changed in a way you never imagined….and since you had last spoken to Javier. Smiling at the customer before you, you packed her bag and wished her a good day before being caught off guard by the person behind her.

It was Javier Pena.

“Hi,” you could see the hesitance in his eyes as you stood still shocked by his presence.

“W-What are you doing here?”

“I’m sorry, I should’ve called first.”

“Why are you here?” You couldn’t help but ask.

“I wanted to see you-“

“For what?” You couldn’t explain all the feelings you felt at once, this was once a man you loved…after what happened you couldn’t bring yourself to be around him for some time, out of fear, out of hurt. Being the girlfriend of a DEA agent put you as a target during a high profile case and unfortunately this was how you were followed home and assaulted. The last you heard, the man was never caught. Javier felt guilt and rage that he wasn’t there to keep you safe, rage that this man wasn’t caught..until now. For some time now Javi wanted to see you but he understood why you stayed away. As hard as it was for him to accept especially knowing what happened to you, Javi kept his distance until finding out the man that assaulted you had finally been caught. He wanted you to know, you no longer had to be afraid.

“I just wanna talk.” You looked up into his brown eyes that were practically pleading with you. You sighed and handed him his bag.

“I finish my shift in a few minutes.” You spoke without looking up at him, he nodded and waited for you outside.

Holding on to the strap of your purse you walked quietly beside him before stopping in your tracks.

“What do you want Javi?” You finally blurt out as he looked down at you.

“I wanted to check on you.”

”Why, I’m doing just fine” you lied and he could tell.

“Oh just spit it out Javi, what is it?” You asked raising a brow. Taking a deep breath he looked away before looking back down at you and blurt out his words.

“They caught him.” Your expression instantly changing, your stomach feeling as if it dropped inside, your world stopped.

“What” You whispered as you took a step back.

“Don’t-dont lie to me Javi-“

“I would never lie to you” he whispered stepping closer to you, his face inches away from yours.

Looking away you brushed your hand through your hair, he noticed how nervous you became, fidgeting around with your hands and purse.

“How do you know for sure?”

“Murphy called me.. found him yesterday” You were in shock as you looked down at the ground thinking of all the paranoia you dealt with for years.

“Are-um-are you gonna need me to go in?” You asked hesitantly looking up at him.

“Of course not,” he assured you noticing the question was even hard for you to ask.

“You don’t have to see him.”

You covered your lips looking up at Javier, you were speechless, tears welling up in your eyes.

“I never thought I would hear those words..”

“I know.” He responded as you took a deep breath.

“I think I need a drink,” you laughed nervously. With the shock still settling in of seeing Javier and the news you heard, it was a lot to take in.

Javier walked you to your apartment and you invited him in. Walking in he turned back to you and watched as you shut the door and locked all four heavy duty locks before turning back to him.

“It’s the only way I sleep at night..” you whispered a bit embarrassed. He didn’t say a word but you could see how he felt through his eyes, his eyes were always very expressive. He hated that you lived afraid like this, especially alone. He looked around your apartment and noticed you had locks on the windows with a bottle of pepper spray sitting at your coffee table. His jaw clenching as he took in how you lived your day to day life.

As Javier made himself comfortable you opened up a bottle in the kitchen. Your heart was racing, for more reasons than one. From the small window in the kitchen you watched as he sat down and waited for you, in that very moment you realized you still loved him…feelings you had buried long ago were still very much there.

Javi noticed you were taking a bit longer than expected and went to check on you. He found you silently staring at the drinks on the counter as he stepped into kitchen.

”You ok?” His voice making you jump, your hand on your chest, you sighed.

“Sorry, yes…let’s make a toast..” you gave him his glass and although you had a smile on your lips, he could tell your eyes didn’t match…they were empty.

“To….finally catching that asshole and him getting what he deserves,” your lip quivered as you spoke before taking a big sip.

“To him getting what he deserves and more,” Javi whispered before taking a sip himself. His eyes never left yours as you both placed the glass down beside you and stood silent. Not knowing what to say in that moment you stood awkwardly as he stared down at you. Truthfully in that moment Javi wanted to kiss you, he wanted to hold you..it had been so long..but he stood still. He knew there was much left unsaid between you two, he knew the trauma you had been through.

“I’ve missed you” he whispered unexpectedly.

“Javi-“ you sighed.

“I’m not the woman you fell in love with-“ you took another sip attempting to distract yourself.

“Look I know you blame me for what happened,” he stepped closer to you.

“I don’t wanna speak about this.” You shook your head anxiously.

“I know I was suppose to come home early that night and instead I stayed at work, trust me, I think about that every day-“ tears began to fall from your eyes.

“Javi stop..” you whispered trying to walk past him but he blocked your way. He needed you to hear this, he needed you to know he would give everything to have changed what happened that night.

“I should’ve been home with you and I’ll never forgive myself for that.”

“This was a mistake, you should go” your voice cracked as you tried to push past him.

“I promise you I’ll some how make it up to you, baby-“

“Javi stop!” you slammed the glass down harder than you meant to and broke it cutting your hand. You gasped quickly as Javi immediately grabbed your wrist.

“Shit. Are you ok?”

“I’m fine.” You insisted as blood dripped to the floor. Of course ignoring you, he right away grabbed a hand towel and wrapped it around your hand.

“Come, let me clean this up for you.”

“Javi-“

“And I’ll leave.” He assured you looking into your eyes. You gave in and quietly followed him to the living room. Gently he held your hand cleaning out the wound as you watched.

“Am I hurting you?” He asked without looking up.

“No” you spoke softly as he focused. For a moment you couldn’t help but smile, you always loved watching him get carried away with projects, narrowing his eyes directly on whatever he was reading. You watched as he carefully took out a piece of glass and gently wrapped your hand up. Once he was done he looked up at you in a way that made you feel something you couldn’t explain.

“I’ll leave now” for some reason his words bought a knot to your throat. You felt confused, he made you feel a comfort you hadn’t felt in a long time and you didn’t want it to end.

“Maybe you can stay for a little bit longer..” you whispered hoping he would agree. Your hand still in his he silently nodded making you smile.

“I’m sorry about-“

“You don’t have to be sorry about a damn thing” he quickly cut you off. The both of you stood up at the same time, standing much closer to one another than you expected. You found yourself looking at his lips, a part of you wanting to kiss him while also feeling hesitant. Why were all these feelings coming down at you at once? He locked eyes with you, he could see clearly what you were feeling in that moment yet he knew you wouldn’t be the one to do it. His face slowly came closer to you until he gently touched your lips with his. He felt your body slightly jump against him, your hands against his chest as if you didn’t know where to put them. He slowly placed his hands on your hips making you pull away.

“I’m sorry- I’m just- I can’t..” you whispered quickly turning away and heading toward the kitchen.

Grabbing the bottle of alcohol you began to chug from it just as Javier entered behind you.

“Woah-“ he quickly grabbed the bottle from you placing it aside.

“Stop, I need to feel like myself again” you tried to grab the bottle back as he pulled it behind him.

“You don’t need this” he could see the lost look in your eyes, the pain, not really knowing what to do with yourself.

“You don’t know what I need..” you whispered as you looked away. How frustrating it was to want to touch the man you loved while being so afraid to do so, feeling as if you needed to be drunk in order to enjoy anything anymore. Javier caressed your face making you turn back to him, wiping your tears away with his thumb. Your expression softening up to his touch, he looked as if he wanted to say something but stood silent. Instead he slowly slid one arm around your waist pulling your body against his, you stood still as he leaned his forehead against yours. Giving you a chance to stop him, he leaned in close, you could feel his breath on your lips. Javier kissed you gently yet you could feel how eager he was. Taking your arms he wrapped them around his neck, his hands slowly going back down your waist, he felt your body tremble against him. He pulled his lips away giving you a moment waiting to see whatever it was that you wanted to do.

“Kiss me” you whispered surprising him, without hesitation he pulled you tightly against him and did as you asked. Your heart was racing, his lips moving slowly to your neck, he heard you slightly gasp as he moved closer to your breast.

“You ok?” He whispered looking up at you.

“Yes” you quickly nodded, aroused yet nervous you pressed your lips together and allowed him to continue.

Before you knew it you and Javi were on your bed, your dress riding up above your thighs as he placed himself between your legs.

“Javi-“ you whispered making him instantly stop and look down at you. He was out of breath, excitement getting the best of him but you didn’t want him to stop.

“I’m sorry..” he whispered.

“If you want me to stop, I’ll stop, whatever you want me to do.” You could see the certainty in his eyes, he meant every word he said, you knew you could trust him.

“Javi..it’s just I haven’t been with anyone since” you looked away feeling ashamed.

“That’s ok” he spoke gently not taking his eyes off you.

“We don’t have to do anything-“

“But…I want to..” you slowly looked back at him, assuring him this was what you wanted as nervous as you were. If any man would touch you again, you wanted it to be the man you loved. Without saying a word he continued to kiss you, his hands slowly gliding down your waist before sliding back up and cupping your breasts. Soon he reached between the two of you and could hear him unbuckle his pants, the sound making you open your eyes. He led a trail of soft kisses along your jaw line just as you felt his bare erect cock press up against you. You felt his lips softly against your neck as you stood still, the soft sound of each peck as he began to carefully pull your underwear down. He felt your breathing tremble beneath him but you lifted your body up to help easily slide them off. Leaning his forehead on yours he breathed deeply feeling his cock against your entrance. He wanted to feel you in that moment.

“You ok?” He asked in a rough voice caressing your face, you quickly nodded pulling him down to kiss you just as he gently thrusted forward. You whimpered against his lips as he held himself still. It took everything in him not to thrust in full force, instead he moved in a slow rhythm as he felt your arms tighten around him. Burying his face in the crook of your neck he continued to thrust forward, each thrust he’d push in a little harder making you gasp. Your hand running through his thick waves holding him close as he groaned in your ear. It felt good, yet something in you began to panic. Not being able to see his face, not hearing his voice, a horrible flashback of your assault took over.

“Javi” you gasped as he pushed forward.

“Javi talk to me-“ he heard the panic in your voice and lifted his head up looking down at you.

“Look at me, baby. Look at me” he stood still making sure you focused on him, grabbing your face in his hands.

“It’s me” he whispered immediately seeing a relief in your eyes.

“It’s just me..” he pushed his hips forward slowly. Looking into each others eyes he didn’t stop until he saw pleasure in them. A moan escaping your lips as he began to move faster, he could feel you more aroused with each stroke. The pleasure growing inside you in a way you hadn’t felt in years, in a way you never thought you would feel again. Your moans growing louder as he felt you tighten around him, he cursed at himself not knowing how much more he could contain himself.

“There you go baby-“ he panted out of breath watching you roll your eyes back.

“Javi!” You screamed digging your nails into his back. “Let yourself feel it, baby” he whispered in a raspy voice, cutting himself off with a slight moan. Arching your back beneath him you cried out as you felt pleasure hit every nerve in your body. You couldn’t speak, you could only feel and that’s exactly what Javi wanted. He watched as you took in every ounce of pleasure from that moment and let yourself go. Closing your eyes you struggled to catch your breath as you felt one last deep stroke before Javi groaned against your ear. Neither of you moved, holding him close he could still hear your shaken breaths against him.

“Are you alright?” He whispered.

“Yes” he leaned up on his fists and kissed your forehead before getting up from the bed.

“You’re not leaving are you?” You asked quickly sitting up as you watched him get dressed.

“I’m not going anywhere, baby” he lit a cigarette and took a hit from it as he stared at you.

“Why don’t you come stay with me?” His question making you nervous as his beeper from work went off on the night table beside you. He quickly shut it off noticing it trigger some kind of discomfort in you.

“Javi, you work a lot, you’re a busy man and I don’t want to stay alone like that-“

“I’ll add extra locks if that’s what you want, I’ll take nights off. It won’t be like before” he insisted knowing you were afraid.

“Let’s just see for a bit Javi, everything’s moving so quickly.” You explained making him sigh, he knew you were right.

“I just don’t wanna lose you again. I promise you I’ll never let anything happen to you again.” Javis life had never felt complete after you left, he couldn’t imagine what life had felt like for you. The fear he saw in your eyes was something that didn’t sit right with him, he never wanted you to feel that way again..

#pedro pascal #javier pena fanfiction #javier pena angst #javier pena fic #javier pena x you #javier pena narcos #javier peña #narcos imagine #narcos fanfiction

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luvpedropascal · 2 years

Text

andante, andante (18+)

Pairing: Javier Peña x afab!Reader

Warnings: virgin!reader, age gap, fingering, oral sex (f and m receiving), kissing

A/N: Virginity is a construct and the reader has been nervous about their virginity for a while! Hopefully through writing Javi I can help more people realize that you don’t have to ‘lose’ all aspects of it in one night. Javi is very sweet and patient so prepare your hearts.

One night, after far too many refilled martinis and a conversation that strayed far from your workplace happenings, you had managed to accidentally blurt out to Javier that you liked him. You didn’t even realize what you had said in the moment — not until there was a small smile pulling at his lips and he was asking, “Let me take you out to dinner than. Tomorrow, maybe?”

Before that first date, you had a grueling crush on him for months. How couldn’t you? He was the older, handsome, polite agent who didn’t just brush you off and send you out for coffee like the others did. The internship you had taken had proven to be quite boring and you weren’t getting half of the experience you were promised, but Javier did his best to let you in on what he could.

Nothing could have prepared you for how sweet and gentle Javier was in your relationship. From the first date, he was the biggest gentleman, never pushing you to do anything, always giving you the space you needed. After a particularly handsy make out session when you told him you didn’t have much experience, if any, he had assured you that the two of you could take it as slow as you needed.

Javier really liked you. He wanted you to feel safe your first time — feel comfortable and cared for. In the past, he’d driven head first into sex, but that was all meaningless sex. With you, he was hooked. He wanted you for as long you’d take him.

He doted on you, completely and wholeheartedly. When you had asked him to come over earlier that night, he had arrived bearing two bags of food from your favorite restaurant in town, as well as a box of the tea you mentioned you wanted to try a few days ago.

You had ended up in Javier’s lap quickly after eating, his hands on your hips warm as he smiled up at you, listening to every word you had to say between soft, stolen kisses. Unlike everything in his life, you were stable — stable in the way you laid in his lap practically every night, playing with the curls at the nape of his neck and subtly reminding him that you were there.

He wanted you bad. Obviously, he wouldn’t act until you were ready, but hearing you squirm in his lap as he kissed you tonight had him overwhelmed. The two of you had done nothing more than what you could call heavy petting, but even the noises you made during that had him losing his mind.

When your hips met his in a slow grind and you whimpered out that soft “Javi” he had to pull back from you to prevent himself from getting too worked up. He didn’t want anyone else to call him by his nickname again, not after hearing the way you called it so sweetly.

“Baby, I think we should slow down,” he breathed out, fingers stroking your arm gently, grounding himself and you. He was flushed, cheeks a little red and breath moving a little quicker — just the sight of him so disheveled made you laugh. Javi had been abstaining all this time with you, so even this could get him worked up.

The sound of your giggle pulled at his heart, like everything you did, and he looked absolutely devastated. “Can we keep going? Just, you know, step by step.. See what happens,” you asked.

Javi took in a breath, thumb stroking your cheek gently as he smiled devilishly, “I can tell you what’ll happen, cariño, but I don’t want to be a tease.”

You laughed softly, swatting at his chest and kissing him again like it was the easiest thing in the world. When you pulled away, your eyes were a little bit darker, more serious.

“I want this, Javi. I mean, if you want it too,” you murmured and he looked almost offended for a split second, “If I want it? Fuck, baby, I want you so bad, you have no idea. But it’s not about me, it’s about you. Do you know what you want? What you’re ready for?”

Your cheeks felt hot all of a sudden and he noticed your pause, “Or we can just pick up where we left off and see what happens. Don’t want you overthinking this, baby.”

Javi’s hands fell back to your hips and he nudged your nose with his own, making you smile again and slotting his lips over yours in a soft, yet hungry kiss. Your hands on his jaw were so warm, fingertips just barely grazing his neck. He felt you part your lips for him, a silent request for him to take the lead, and he happily obliged, the taste of you making him groan softly.

His back was sliding down the couch as your intensity shifted, your hips beginning to rut into his again in that deliciously slow way.

“Fuck, baby,” Javi whispered, kissing your chin first before leading a hot trail of kisses down your neck. Your soft gasps had him growing in his pants fast and when you gripped his shoulders for stability, trying to grind faster, he cursed under his breath again.

Your hands were tugging at the fabric of his shirt and Javi nipped at your collarbone just enough to get another pretty sound out of you.

“Please, can I take this off?” Was what you asked, and he was pulling his thin t-shirt off within seconds. Gently, he laid you down on the couch, smiling down at you when you took a second to wiggle around and find a comfortable position.

The sight of him hovering over you like this, tan skin glowing under the soft light of the lamp across the room and just so broad above you, had you squirming again. He was looking at you with so much affection, like if he didn’t kiss you or feel you soon, he’d light up in flames.

But if this was as far as the two of you would ever go, Javi would die a happy man. Seeing you like this, absolutely radiant beneath him, was all he needed.

“Mi vida,” he murmured, the tip of his nose tracing the bridge of yours, “You’re so beautiful.”

He watched your eyes fall to his lips out of shyness before you were wrapping your arms around him again, pulling him into another kiss. You smiled into the kiss when you felt his hands slip under your shirt just a little bit, his fingers warm against your skin. Sitting up, you pulled your shirt up and off, barely breaking the kiss as you did.

Javi groaned out as his head fell to your chest, “So pretty, baby.” His lips traveled all over your chest and stomach, leaving small marks in his favorite spots subconsciously, which left you pretty much covered in love bites. Your hands fell to his hair, playing with it gently as you watched him crawl further down, even worshipping the sides of your hips.

When he looked back up, your heart jumped with how soft his eyes looked. “Can I take these off?” he asked, tugging gently at the hem of your shorts.

You nodded, pushing a stray curl out of his eyes. He pulled your shorts down slowly, giving you time to back out and leaving soft kisses on each new inch of skin exposed. Once they were off, he smiled again, his lips pressed to your inner knee, “Look at you.”

Opening your eyes, you looked down at him a little breathless. Just those kisses to your thighs and hips had you worked up and aching for him. He was taking his time, marking your inner thighs and holding them apart gently when they started to shake a little bit.

“Javi please.. I- Do something, anything. Please, I’m ready,” you whimpered and he looked up at you, his eyes hooked on your lips, which were puffy from all the kissing.

He nodded after a second, “Okay, baby. I’ve got you.”

Still, he was going to take it slow, as to not overwhelm you. He climbed back up to you so he could kiss you, silently thanking you for trusting him, and his hand brushed your thighs, barely ghosting over your clothed center. He could feel the heat radiating off of you when he gently cupped you, pressing his forehead to yours as he started to slowly rub you through the fabric of your underwear.

The softest whimper fell from your lips and you leaned into him more, hands clutching his shoulders. His hand was so big against you, fingers light as he worked you up slowly. You had never been touched like this before and it was starting to drive you crazy quickly. The already damp fabric of your underwear was becoming more and more ruined by the second.

Javi could smell you, and it was driving him crazy. If you let him, he’d taste you tonight — take you apart and put you back together as many times as he could. He looked into your eyes as he asked, “Can I take these off, baby?”

You nodded through a soft whine and his heart swelled as he pulled your underwear down your legs, seeing the way your heat was glistening for him. He cursed under his breath, burying his face in the softness of your stomach before looking back up at you, eyes absolutely devastated , “Prettiest thing I’ve ever seen, you know that?”

Despite your need for him, you laughed softly, reaching down to stroke his hair again. He leaned into your touch, kissing your palm gently before lacing his fingers through yours, “Can I use my mouth, amor? We can stop whenever you want, you just say the word.”

As much as you were nervous about how you tasted or smelled and whatnot, you needed him more and you knew he’d take care of you, so you nodded gently, “Go ahead.”

Javi found himself between your thighs, spreading them gently with his shoulders and keeping his hand entwined with yours on your stomach. He kissed and nibbled at your thighs again, inching closer to your center. His kisses were open, tongue peaking out and tasting your skin, suckling gently at the sensitive skin at the crease of your hip.

Then he was looking up at you, gauging every reaction as his lips and tongue found their way home. You were so vocal, a mess of whimpers and soft moans as his tongue swirled over your sensitive clit. Your free hand was in his hair, holding him down desperately and begging him for more, even though you could barely think straight.

“Javi- Fuck, that’s so good,” you cried out, letting your head fall back against the pillows.

The taste of you had him moaning against you, mumbling quiet praises to you as you writhed under him. His free hand came up, thumb circling your clit as his tongue dipped to prod at your entrance. He could taste you even better this way and he nearly stopped to take it all in, but he didn’t want to forgo your pleasure.

He gave your hand a squeeze, “You want my fingers, baby?”

You nodded quickly and he chuckled at how eager you were, giving your clit a gentle kiss before letting one finger dip inside you slowly. Immediately, you were trying to buck your hips up, your lip pulled between your teeth as you melted back against the pillows again.

He curled his finger inside of you at the end of each stroke, his tongue finding it’s place against your clit again. One finger became two and soon you were tightening around him, thighs shaking and trying to close around his head as you cried out a little, “M’close.”

Javi didn’t stop for a second, keeping his pace steady, right where you liked it until you were gushing around his fingers, calling his name so sweetly again. Your chest heaved with your orgasm, legs quivering when he finally pulled away with a boyish grin on his lips. He didn’t pull back far, leaving kisses all over your thighs as he whispered, “You taste so fucking good cariño, I thought I was gonna lose it.”

Your eyes were closed, cheek pressed against the velvet of the pillow beside you, the softest smile forming as you came back to reality. When you opened your eyes, Javi was crawling back up to you and kissing you deeply, his big hand cupping face so tenderly. His kiss was hungry, devouring you in the most Javi way possible.

He didn’t expect anything more from you, and you could feel that in the way his lips weren’t asking you for more, just drinking you in and enjoying this moment with you. But you could feel the swell of him against your thigh, straining in his pants, and you wanted to make him feel just as good he made you feel.

“Javi,” you muttered between kisses, “Let me make you feel good..”

His forehead found yours and he stopped for a second, taking a deep breath, “You don’t have to, baby.”

“I want to,” you whispered, kissing his full lower lip chastely, “Just need you to show me how.”

Javi was almost embarrassed by how much your words turned him on. You couldn’t help it, but the way you asked him to show you — to guide you, had him throbbing against the seam of his pants.

He gave you a small nod, smiling almost shyly as he sat up. You followed him, sinking to your knees by the edge of the couch and asking, “Can I use my mouth?”

Brain backfiring for just a second, Javi took in the sight of you like this, on your knees for him and asking if you could suck him off.

“Fuck- Come up here, cielito. I’ll show you how,” he groaned, laying down flat in the couch and spreading his legs to make room for you. Underneath you, he was the most disheveled you’d ever seen him — all messy curls and kiss bitten lips — and you loved it.

Your hands settled on his belt buckle and looked up at him for approval, giggling when you saw him smiling up at you like a dork.

“Look at you, trying to get into my pants already,” Javi chuckled, reaching up to the cup the back of your neck and bring you in for a soft kiss, “Go ahead.”

Leaning back, you undid his pants and started to pull them down along with his boxers. He hissed a little bit, his cock painfully hard when it slapped up against the softness of his lower stomach. You laid down between his thighs, nuzzling them gently and pressing a soft kiss to every freckle you could find while you waited for Javi’s instruction.

He sat up a little bit, just to see you better, and brushed a hand over your hair, “Do whatever feels right, baby, and I’ll tell you what feels good, okay?”

You nodded, just a little dazed from all of this, and led your kisses closer to his cock. Lips hot and open now, you let your tongue trace the line of his hip bone, looking up at him to see his reactions.

The softness of your actions made Javi’s heart ache; he never thought he could want someone so bad, in so many different ways. For the first time in his life, he was desperately fighting the urge blurt out an “I love you.” But he knew he couldn’t — not now at least. Not when all of this was already so new to you.

Your lips found his cock and you kissed up from the base slowly, your lips so warm and soft that just that had Javi gripping the couch beneath him. He wanted to close his eyes, but he wouldn’t dare miss this, at least not the first time.

When you reach his tip, your lips parted and you took him in, suckling on him lightly and drawing a low moan from Javi. He pushed your hair out of your eyes gently, letting you continue however you saw fit and groaning quietly, “That’s it, querida.”

You moaned around him, enjoying the weight of him on your tongue and starting to bob your head along about half of him. Your pacing was a little awkward, so he cupped your head again, gently guiding your rhythm.

Feeling and seeing Javi crumble beneath you was unlike anything you’d ever experienced. Your usually composed boyfriend had been reduced to gasped moans and was clutching the couch so hard his knuckles were close to turning white.

Deciding to take him a little deeper, you gagged from the sheer size of him and Javi beckoned you back up to how you had him before, “I don’t want you choking, baby. Take your time.”

His words made your cheeks heat up and you hummed against him, deciding to bring your hand up to stroke what you couldn’t take in your mouth. Javi was right — the two of your were learning what made the other feel good, so there was no reason to rush. Coming up for air, you took a breath before swirling your tongue around his tip, letting your hand stroke him slow and tight.

“That’s- Fuck, baby that’s so good, don’t stop. B-Breathe through your nose,” Javi whined.

You didn’t change the pace at all, following his directions and looking up at him through your lashes to watch him fall apart with each second. When your eyes met his, Javi twitched against your tongue and threw his head back for a second, mumbling something about how close he was. All it took was a few more strokes and he was falling over the edge, holding his hips back from bucking into your mouth.

He didn’t expect you to swallow, but when he felt you suckling every drop from him, he nearly came again just at the thought. Vision coming back to him, he reached for you, using his remaining strength to pull you up to him, kissing you with more passion than you’d ever felt from him. His tongue dipped between your lips, tasting himself on your tongue and groaning again.

Every press of his lips to yours was a thank you, a promise; even an “I love you” that he wouldn’t dare utter yet. He kissed down from your lips, tracing the lines of your face with his lips. Smiling under his affection, you muttered a soft ‘thank you’. A smile pulled at his lips immediately and he kissed you again, pulling you closer to lay down on top of him.

You wanted him again. You knew you were going to want him constantly now. After tonight, going all the way didn’t seem so scary anymore, and you knew if you did, Javi would make it absolutely perfect.

The heat was pooling between your legs and the warmth of Javi under you was only stirring you on. You nosed at his neck, finding the scent of his cologne there waiting for you, like it always did. When your lips found that sweet spot on his neck, he sighed under you, running his fingers down the line of your back.

But maybe this was enough for tonight. If the sound of Javi’s slow breathing under you told you anything, it was that he didn’t mind taking things slow with you. He wasn’t going anywhere and you could go all the way with him another night. The two of you were going at your own pace, and nothing else mattered.

#javier peña #javier peña x reader #javier peña fanfiction #javier peña x reader smut #javier peña smut #narcos fanfiction #javier peña fic #narcos fic #javier peña imagine #javier peña headcanon #narcos imagine #narcos headcanon

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sweetly-yours-and-mine · 1 year

Text

My Word

Pairing: Javier Peña x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.7k

Summary: When Javier undressed you, he was particular about it. But, you? You loved to dress Javier. You were particular about it.

Warnings: smutish (it's implied, blink and you'll miss it), angst, insecurities in a relationship, workplace relationship, implied that the reader has a higher position that Javier, swearing

A/N: I tried posting this maybe a month ago and I broke down crying because it wouldn't show in tags lol. This is definitely a little universe I'd like to write for more.

I don't own photos, or characters. Divider is from the talented @firefly-graphics.

Javi loved to undress you.

And you loved letting him.

He usually does it when he shows up at home three hours after the time he promised you he was going to that morning. Every single time he does it, at least three or four times per week, you would spend those three hours convincing yourself that now is the time to put your foot down, to state quite plainly that you won’t accept the way he treats you anymore.

Like you’re disposable.

But every single time, he comes home and looks at you, at the furrow in your brow and the way your eyes are bloodshot and the way your cuticles are bleeding from picking at them for too long out of worry, and all your will flies out the window.

Because it might feel like he treats you as disposable, but when he looks at you in those few moments after his delayed arrival, you feel as if the sun’s been put in the sky for you. His eyelashes will flutter and then you feel as if the sun’s been taken down and replaced with the moon and the stars for you.

Then, he’ll murmur your name, say he’s sorry and then drop a pet name. You’re always quick to notice that he never claims that it won’t happen again. You’re glad he doesn’t. It would be a statement of vulnerability from him if he said it and a blaring thorn of naivety from you if you believed him.

The worst part is, is that you would. And you know he knows and it makes the desperate dash into his arms heavier and weighted than either of you want it to be.

After he kisses you, he reaches for the buttons of the shirt he’d worn yesterday and takes it off you. You reach for his belt and he takes you to bed and says he’s sorry a thousand times over without ever having to say the words.

He’ll take your knee in his hand and press it down into the bed. He’ll kiss away your tears and let his own fall on your face until he’s not sure whose are whose. It’s a positive feedback cycle. You see his and yours fall harder, making him cry and making you cry more.

He’ll smooth his hand against the side of your head and then hide his face in the sheets when he’s close or when the sight of your watery eyes are too hard for him.

When it’s over, he’ll keep the lights off and take you to the kitchen. There, you’ll either eat the dinner you made, cold, or make do with what you can find.

Going out for food is never an option. You’re not sure if you can hide how you feel about him on your face and there are always eyes in the walls that are open and observing you and you’re not sure what kind of target it will put on your backs.

After that, he’ll take you back to bed and say that he adores you, that he can’t live without you. And you grant yourself a moment to soak in the words and pretend that they’re the ones you want to hear. The moment passes and you’ll tease him, ask him how he’s managed to live thirty-something years without you then.

He’ll say he wasn’t really living and you’ll snort at how corny and melodramatic he’s being. Then you’ll say that you can’t live without him and he’ll look offended.

You never can get a read on him, but you know yourself well enough to know that you mean it when you say that he’s the heart and lungs that keep you alive.

You hide your face in his chest as he starts to talk and he wraps his arms around you and braids your legs together. He talks about the bits and pieces of his day that he’s cherry picked for you despite the fact that you work in the same building as him and that you have higher security clearance than him.

When Javier undressed you, he was particular about it. The only thing you’d be wearing those nights would be his arms, until he undresses you again in the morning and leaves you with the untouched cool sheets of your half of the bed.

But, you? You loved to dress Javier. You were particular about it.

He was particular about how his button-downs were handled. He was the one to iron and fold them, a ritual he went through every Sunday evening, along with applying wax to his boots and jacket. Two other things he was also particular about.

He was less particular about what he wore. Which jeans and which shirts. As long as they were cleaned, neatly ironed and creased in the right ways and not creased in the wrong ways.

And you were particular about choosing for him.

Every morning, with the sound of his shower as your alarm, you open your closet and see what you were in the mood for today, what he was in the mood for today and whether he had an important meeting he needed to be extra pretty for.

It’s a way you try to help shoulder the burden he has to carry the moment he steps outside, to soothe the tension that’s usually close to its breaking point before it’s even ten in the morning.

You know it’s not much, and sometimes you doubt whether it is truly helpful or if you’re just a nuisance, a pesky fly in his otherwise calm and stable morning routine. Yet, you’re too selfish to actually ask, hoping that if you do get to become truly annoying he’ll swat you away.

The image put into your own mind is not a pleasant one. It makes your heart ache and your hands tremble. You’re not sure how invested in this whole arrangement Javier is, married first and foremost to his work, and you’re too scared to take the leap and see. To see if he’ll be there when you fall or if you have to nurse bruises and broken bones and joints that never healed right for years to come.

You’ll take it, whatever he’ll want to give to you and you’ll give to him whatever he wants. It’s horrible and unhealthy, but it makes you feel whole and complete. You never feel better than when you’re with him, the anticipation and excitement of when you know he’s going to come home to you, there’s nothing worse than having to kiss him goodbye behind closed doors and have to pass him in the halls of the embassy, pretending he’s just another stranger in a foreign country.

Normally, if you were living with a man and his clothes took up half of your closet the same way his body did your bed, if you made dinner for him and he pressed lotion into your curves after your showers, you’d have a decent handle on the situation. You pride yourself on being able to read people fairly well and so you'd do the same and get the answers you wanted in his eyes.

But it’s not normal, the situation you’re in now. Javier isn’t working your normal office job and every morning you wake up with him could very well be your last. You’re both living and working on borrowed time.

And you never want to risk starting a conversation with him that could easily turn into an argument. You never want to risk frazzling his nerves. It could cost him his life and if it costs him his life it costs you yours.

The unspoken affection you have for him is as simple and twisted as that.

The click of the bathroom door opening brings you back to the early Saturday morning.

Jeans.

He’ll want to wear something more comfortable today. He’ll be at his desk for a long time, and will fuck up his back, and this evening you’ll have to try and unfuck it long enough for him for the cycle to restart again tomorrow.

He says good morning and starts to shuffle around behind you as he dries off and gets dressed.

The thoughts you’ve been having are too serious for the time of day, particularly considering these are the precious few minutes you get to have with Javier before the day has had it out with him. There’s still a foggy air of sleepiness around him, and he’ll stay like that until he’s had his first, of many, cigarettes and cups of coffee, his voice still gravely. His skin will still be a little damp from his shower, and the rough skin of his palms will be momentarily softened if you dare to take his hand in yours.

This is a form of him you feel privileged to see, and hope, childishly, that you’re the only one to whom he shows how soft he actually is.

“Baby?” His breath is warm and comforting against your ear.

You realize too late that you’ve spent the better part of half an hour standing in front of your closet and doing nothing but spiraling into your thoughts, and the worst part is that Javier has also noticed.

You turn your head and nudge the tip of your nose against his. You’ve been on the brink of tears all morning and you’re scared that if you look into his eyes now you’ll cry, “Hi.”

He pulls you in closer and starts to run his palms up and down your arms, “Tired?”

“A little,” you and him always are. You can’t remember a time you’ve slept before midnight, equally can’t remember a time when you were woken up after the sun. Maybe it’s been your hyperactive, sleep-deprived mind that’s been keeping you occupied so, but you know for certain that the way you feel is not how Javier thinks is the way you feel.

Before he gets to push you on it, you pull away from him, grab a pair of his jeans and tuck them underneath your arm, “I was thinking eggs for breakfast.” You riffle through his button-downs, look down at the jeans you’d chosen at random and you think about what would look good with them.

You’re stuck between two options, a light blue and a tan that’s close to the color of his skin. An ugly sprout of jealousy takes hold of you before you can push it down and you reach for the blue.

You hope he’ll wear his brown boots today, to match with the belt you’ve chosen out for him. His black belt is hanging on by a thread and he’s been promising you he’ll get a new one for over four months now.

Tossing your choices onto the unmade bed, you turn around and smile at him, and he smiles back. He’s already lit his first cigarette of the day, and you want nothing more than to stub it out, to keep him here with you, untouched and unscathed from the world around him.

“Eggs sound good, I might haveta-'' he pauses when you walk away from him, towards the bedside table. “Hey.”

You’re looking down at his stubbed cigarette, barely halfway smoked in the ashtray. It’s been crushed hard enough for it to be unsalvageable later.

You want to apologize but you’re tired of lying to him so much.

Instead, you walk back towards him, brush his hair away from his forehead and soak up a stray droplet of water on his shoulder with your finger, brushing it against your thigh, “Do you still want me to dress you?”

There’s clearly something wrong, you know he’s figured that out. What’s wrong, you don’t know, and so how can you expect him to know? Besides, there’s not enough time for that, you’re both running late as is.

“Yeah.” You watch his eyes soften from their hard defensiveness over the smoking and back to the gentle, duvet-soft brown you dream of the nights when he’s not with you.

So, you take his button-down and hold it out for him so he can loop his arms through the sleeves. You tuck your fingers underneath his collar and pull the shirt forward so the shoulder seams fall correctly and start doing up the buttons for him, leaving the first three undone the way he likes.

When you’re done, he manages to take your hands before they’re gone. Bringing them up to his face, he kisses each palm, presses them against his neck to warm them up.

Your gaze falls to his collarbones, protruding out more than normal, “You’re getting too skinny for your own good.”

He makes the non-committal sound that lets you know that you’re acting like his mother, and in reprimand you slide your hands out from underneath his and reach for his jeans. “What do you want for dinner?”

Though you help him put them on and tuck his shirt so it won’t wrinkle awkwardly, he does up the buttons himself. Your fingers have fiddled and failed with them enough times for you to have learned your lesson.

“Nada,” his voice has that stone edge that warns you not to argue with him on that one. “I’ll figure it out. You’re busy enough as it is.”

You only hear the things you want, “How about some rice? And some pork loins?”

You put on his belt for him and slide his sunglasses into the open seam at his chest where the buttons are unbuttoned.

“There’s no meat in the freezer.” It’s your freezer. But he says the, as if it is just as much his as yours. You’re reading into it too much yet it feels too good to stop. The. It warms you from the inside out and from the outside in.

Your relationship with Javier has you obsessing over elementary school articles, dreaming up baby carriages out of commas.

“I’ll get some before I come home,” you drape his leather jacket over his shoulders like it’s his cardigan and like he’s a schoolgirl from the fifties. You’re not even sure the butcher shops will be open by the time you’re done at work.

Your other option is to take an extended lunch break, a break that you were never officially allotted, and get the meat then.

“Like hell you will.”

And you already know how Javier feels about you walking the streets alone. He’s willfully oblivious to the near identical training you’ve both received.

Inside your closet is his watch. He holds out his wrist for you and after you set the time and push in the button that makes the handles move again, you do it up for him. The room is silent save for the faint click of the metal joints of the wrist band.

Finally, you like to do his hair for him. Run your fingers through it to smooth it down and brush so it lies flat against his temples.

“There you are, Javi,” you step back and cross your arms, tilting your head to the side.

“How do I look?” His eyes twinkle, and he holds out his arms for you in a mock pose. If you squint, it looks like he’s smiling. His jacket falls to the ground with a thump.

“Just gorgeous,” you play a little into his ego and nod to the mirror hanging on the inside of the closet door. “Take a look at yourself.”

This time he does smile, comes close to you and with his hands on your waist brings you to him to take away the remaining space between you two. “Don’t need to.”

You press your hands onto his chest and look up at him, “Just gonna take me for my word?”

“Yeah,” he manages to look you in the eyes for the first time properly all morning. “Something like that.”

More Javi? Let me know!

Thanks for reading, if you liked it, please consider leaving some feedback, it means the world to me! Masterlist here, tags are open.

#javier peña #javier peña x reader #javier peña x you #javier peña x y/n #javier peña x female!reader #javier peña fluff #javier peña angst #javier peña fanfiction #javier peña fanfic #javier peña fic #javier peña x f!reader #javier peña imagine #narcos fanfiction #narcos #narcos imagine #narcos fic #pedro pascal

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plentyoffandoms · 1 year

Note

Hey gal, I hope you’re having a happy Tuesday! 🥳If you have the time and you’re taking requests, please could I get your take on Javi x fem.

She finds out she’s having a baby a couple of weeks before a huge raid and actively tries everything to avoid Javi. During the raid she gets cornered by one of Pablo’s guys and absolutely terrified screams “I’m pregnant, I’m pregnant” Javi and Steve hear over the radio, his head frantically snaps up and he takes off running to find her, Steve not far behind + the aftermath. Thank you 🥹

Javier Peña x f/Reader

Main Masterlist ♡ TV Shows Masterlist ♡ Miscellaneous TV Shows Masterlist ♡ Pedro Pascal Masterlist

Just like all my other stories, this has not been proofread, but please enjoy.

I do not speak Spanish nor I am going to try to. I have no urge to try and butcher another language. So Spanish will be in ITALICS.

Gifs & photos do not belong to me. 1st gif @pedrorascal 2nd gif @hunterschafer 3rd @nicolethered

Warnings: Swearing

WC: 2273

And a happy Saturday to you! I am sorry this has taken me so long to get out. I really hope you like it. This is my first time writing for Javier so I hope I do well. 💜

Summary: f/Reader & Javier have been sleeping together. At first, it started as stress relief from their jobs at the DEA, but f/Reader ends up pregnant & keeps it from him. Javier finds out during the worst possible time.

YN'S POV:

I have never been more thankful than I am right now to be one of the few women working in the DEA. I get to have the washroom all to myself as I am throwing up the very small breakfast I had.

I threw that up a few hours ago, at this point I have no idea what the hell I am throwing up.

I cleaned my face up and popped a piece of gum into my mouth, hoping that it will do the job of getting rid of my puke breath.

"You okay YN?" Steve asked me as I sat down at my desk, which was beside his.

"Yeah, I am good. I think I just had one too many last night." I told him as I lied through my teeth. He just smiled and shook his head at me, muttering "You never could handle your alcohol."

While Steve was making fun of me for being a lightweight, Javier was looking at me over the top of his newspaper.

I didn't bother to look at him. Not when it was just only a few days ago that he had me once again crying out his name as he used his sexual talents to bring me so much damn pleasure that I had no idea could happen before I met him.

He knows with one nod of his head, I would be meeting him in the washroom that the other DEA members refuse to use for some reason.

But only after a few hours of going through boring paperwork, I felt the urge to throw up again. Since this is the fourth time today, I knew I had to get looked at.

I decided to head out early and told my boss that I had to leave due to not feeling well. At first, he didn't want me to leave and refused, but I told him the next time I had to puke, I would make sure to do it all over his expensive shoes.

He let me go after that.

I got in my car and headed home when I was stopped at a red light. As I sat in my car, waiting for the light to change, a pregnant woman walked by.

It suddenly dawned on me.

My period is late. Extremely late.

The random puking happening at all hours.

Certain smells making me nauseous.

Oh, fuck me.

I'm pregnant.

A horn from the car behind me startled me. I noticed the light was green and I floored it. I had to find the nearest clinic and get proof.

It took me a bit to find one, but when I did, I felt like I was in a daze as I filled out the form.

That feeling never went away as I sat there, or when my name finally got called.

I did the test and told the Doctor my symptoms. I got sent home as they had to wait a couple of days to get the test results.

I was told to come back on Tuesday and I will find out then. I knew deep down inside I didn't have to wait until Tuesday to know whether I am or not.

I called out of work saying I came down with some stomach bug and that I will be back in a few days. I waited patiently at my place. Kept myself occupied with TV, catching up on some much-needed sleep and reading.

Then Tuesday finally rolled around and I made my way to the Clinic. I had my hands placed on my lap to stop myself from fidgeting.

"YN LN?"

I stood up and followed the nurse to the room. I waited in the warm room to find out if I was pregnant.

"YN?"

"Yes, Doctor."

"We have your results and you are pregnant. I would say you are about 6, 7 weeks along."

His voice faded into the background as this became all too real. I am pregnant with Javier Peña's baby.

The same man who doesn't want a relationship with anyone and who has announced more times than I can count that he doesn't want kids.

How the hell did this even happen? We always used protection.

Then it dawned on me, we didn't have anything twice and he swore to pull out, but the one night when we both had a bit too much to drink, he didn't pull out in time.

I left the clinic and went home, trying to decide what I should do. I already knew I couldn't give up this baby, but my dilemma was how I should tell Javier.

What the hell am I supposed to do?

Javier Peña's POV:

Three weeks.

Three fuckin' weeks since I have talked to YN. First, she went off sick due to some stomach bug and she was gone less than a week.

She came back and she was normal with Steve. Talking and catching up on what she has missed.

But me?

I say her name and she turns the other way or talks to someone else. She is ignoring my calls and when I have shown up at her place to try and talk to her, she doesn't answer the door.

What the hell did I do to her?

This has been eating away at me and has been pissing me off so much that I have taken it out on anyone who got in my way.

"What the hell crawled up your ass Javier?" Steve said as I slammed my mug down.

"None of your concern," I grumbled.

"Something is going on between YN and you. I have seen it these last couple of weeks. Work it out before we head out to this raid or get your head out of your ass."

I was going to say something smart when he walked away from me towards the debriefing room.

I took a few deep breaths and just tried to focus all my energy on this raid.

But then I saw YN out of the corner of my eye and she was talking with one of the new guys. I haven't learned his name because frankly, I didn't care to know it.

But I can see how he is flirting with her and I can feel myself getting angry. He placed his hand on her hand, which was sitting on the table in front of them.

But the anger slowly faded away when I saw her look down at his hand on top of hers, she smiled softly and moved her hand away.

"We are all here? Good, now listen."

I turned my attention towards the briefing, trying to take in the layout of the building we will be going into. How many men will be there, etc, etc.

Usually, YN would come with Murph and me, but not this time. I have no idea who she went with and it is making me sick to my stomach.

Even before started to sleep together, I always made sure to keep an eye on YN during our raids. I was drawn to her from the very beginning and I pushed my feelings aside for her and we became friends with benefits.

I haven't been with anyone else since we started and these last few weeks, not waking up beside her. Not spending our alone time together has been driving me crazy.

"You able to talk to her?"

"Nope." That was all he got out of me. I mean I tried, but she just pretended she didn't hear me.

We waited for our cue to go inside and I saw YN as she was running to get into position, also waiting for the cue.

We were all silent and then we got the go-ahead. There were shots fired and smoke in the air. There was so much commotion and noise that I could hardly focus on anyone else.

That was until I heard over the radio, YN screaming out in Spanish, "I'M PREGNANT, I'M PREGNANT!"

I snapped my head up and looked at Steve. I didn't wait for him as I went off to find YN.

YN'S POV:

I know he is hurting. Every single time I ignore him or turn my back away from him, I can feel his eyes staring at me. Like he is looking into my soul.

But I still have no idea how to tell him.

How am I supposed to let him know that I am pregnant with his baby? That I am going to keep it whether he wants me to or not? That after this raid I plan on going home to work some desk job and try to stay away from the danger.

To be away from him because I know he won't want to leave Columbia. Not until he feels like his work is done and it never will be.

But as I was checking the backrooms, making sure they were clear, I realised I wasn't alone. I heard the sound of a gun cocking and I was told to drop my gun.

I dropped my gun and turned around, but I must have been moving too fast for this henchman of Pablo's because he slapped my face with the handle of his gun. I covered my stomach as I screamed out, "I'M PREGNANT, I'M PREGNANT!"

But that didn't seem to matter to him. A sick smile came over his face and he told me he was going to have lots of fun with me.

I didn't hear the footsteps come running towards us, but I heard the gunshot. I felt the blood splatter across my face and the guy fell to the ground.

I looked up and saw Javi standing there and Steve came rushing into the room, to make sure the guy was dead and to see if there was any identification on him, but Javier's focus was on me.

I crumbled to the ground as this all became too much for me, but I wasn't alone for long.

Javier got on the ground next to me and pulled me into his lap. I couldn't stop crying and he just held me through the tears.

Steve left the two of us alone until it was time for us to go. He found Javi and me still in the same room, with me in his lap.

The three of us walked out of the building, past many of our coworkers who heard me shout out over the radio that I was pregnant.

The car ride back to HQ was quiet. I got out of the car before them and went to go to the washroom.

The same one where Javier and I used to meet up, I knew he wouldn't be that far behind me.

I was gripping the sink, with my head down as he barged into the room. I was waiting for him to scream at me. To yell at me. Anything really, but he didn't.

All he said to me was, "Why?" My head snapped up and I turned to face him. "Why what?" I asked him.

"Why did you put your life and our baby's lives at risk?"

"No one knew I was pregnant and this is my job, Peña."

"So it is Peña now? Look YN, you were foolish and downright stupid today." He was getting angrier and angrier as he walked towards me.

"Fuck you, Javier. Fuck you." How dare he?

"You have already done that sweetheart." The smirk that came across his face, I wanted to slap off and I raised my hand to slap it off of his face when he caught my hand in his.

"I could have lost you today YN. Fuck, hearing your terrified screams made my blood run cold. I could have lost you without actually telling you how I feel."

"And how do you feel?"

"That I can't stand to be without you by my side another day. That I love you and these last few weeks without hearing you say my name or waking up next to me has been killing me."

"Who knew Javier Peña was a romantic?" I joked.

"Had to find the right woman YN."

"And me being pregnant?"

"Hmm, well I haven't had sex with a pregnant woman before. That means your boobs are gonna get bigger." He said to me with a giddy smile as he wrapped his arms around me.

I jokingly pushed away from him for that comment but he just pulled me closer to him.

He brought his lips to mine and we finally kissed after almost a month or so.

"I love you YN." He said as he pulled his lips away and leaned his forward against mine.

"I love you too Javi."

"Oh and you are getting a desk job. No more fieldwork for you."

"I already planned on it. Well, I was gonna go home but I guess I can stay here and work."

"Starting tomorrow." He said to me with a serious look.

"I'll talk to the boss and get assigned desk duty." His shoulders relaxed.

"Good, now how far along are you?" He asked me as we left the washroom.

"About 10 weeks give or take."

"What?" He stopped.

"Yeah around two and a half months."

His mouth opened and closed.

"Did you break him?" Steve asked as he stepped next to me.

"I think so."

"Congratulations to the both of you. I am sure once he stops malfunctioning we can go out and celebrate."

I laughed with Steve as I looked at Javi. I think the two of us will be just fine.

#javier pena #javier peña #javier peña imagine #javier peña x reader #javier pena x you #javier peña x you #javier peña x y/n #javier peña x f!reader #javier peña x female reader #narcos #narcos imagine #narcos fic #narcos fanfiction #narcos x reader #narcos x female reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters

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imaginesfordifferentfandoms · 1 year

Text

Anything For You

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Prompts - “Shh. Stay here and don’t make a sound no matter what you hear. I’ll come back for you when it’s over.” & “You shoot anyone who walks through that door who isn’t me, you hear?”

Javier knew it wasn’t a good idea to bring you along. He should have just waited for Steve, or better yet he should have kept his mouth shut and followed his lead himself. Instead he had been ordered to bring you along, he knew damn well it was to keep him in line, he was known to play fast and loose with the rules, it was the main reason you had been assigned to the case with him and Steve.

It wasn’t even that he didn’t like you, he did, he really did and wasn’t that part of the problem. You were the first person he’d met down here that made him want to give up his life of lonely nights and prostitutes, the first person he’d actually let in. Nothing had happened between the two of you much as Javier wished it would but he knew he liked you, he cared about you and wanted to do everything he could to keep you safe.

So having you walk into one of Escobar’s apparent abandoned safe houses wasn’t exactly filling him with joy. It set him on edge and he felt like he couldn’t focus properly, ever since you’d walked through the door he’d had one eye on the room and one eye on you. It made it damn near impossible to look for anything useful.

“Are you sure this place is abandoned?” You asked as you lifted up a newspaper and frowned down at it.

“My source seemed pretty sure.” He told you but frowned with you, trusting you and your senses more than any of his informants. “Why?”

“This is yesterday’s paper.” You said, holding it up to him so he could read the date on it. “Your source tell you exactly when they left?”

“He seemed to think they left in a hurry but no, no he didn’t say when.” Javier said and his frown deepened as he looked around the room.

“Something about this place doesn’t feel abandoned.” You told him and he nodded without looking at you, knowing that as bad as he wanted to keep you safe he had a job to do.

The two of you made your way through the safe house, frowns firmly in place as more and more evidence piled up to suggest that the place wasn’t as abandoned as you’d been led to believe. You questioned just how trustworthy Javier’s informant was and he swore to you their information was usually good, it had never been wrong before.

“Maybe Escobar figured there was a rat.” You suggested and Javier’s eyebrows knitted together, his guy wasn’t too close to Escobar but he was close enough that Escobar knew who he was.

Just as Javier was about to say something the roar of more than one engine could be heard from outside and you and Javier’s head shot around to face each other, your wide eyes staring back at him as he desperately tried to come up with a plan but he couldn’t see any way out.

You were stuck in here.

“Fuck.” Javier cursed as the engines cut off and seconds later the door you and Javier had come through opened and shut.

“Javi,” You started but cut yourself off as he stepped closer to you and cupped your cheek, bringing his forehead down to rest on yours.

“You trust me?” He asked and you didn’t even need a second to think before you nodded against him, murmuring a soft yes that had Javier’s lips pulling into a smile despite the situation. “Good girl, stay here, I’ll be back soon.”

“Javi, no-” You protested in a whisper but Javier had already made his mind up. His job was to protect you, his purpose was to make sure you were safe. What happened to him didn’t matter, not when your life was in danger.

“Shh. Stay here and don’t make a sound no matter what you hear. I’ll come back for you when it’s over.” He told you and looked into your wide, watery eyes as you shook your head. “Hey, you gotta trust me baby.”

Javier watched as you took a deep, steadying breath and even as your bottom lip trembled you nodded and he kept his smile in place, trying to be brave for the both of you even as the place was filled with God only knew how many of Escobar’s men.

“That’s my girl.” Javier said and watched your lips twitch upwards slightly.

He pulled away far enough so that he could place a soft kiss to your forehead, letting his lips linger against you for a few seconds longer, savouring the feeling of you against him and hoping like hell he had the chance to see you again.

When he pulled away his hand went down to his gun, taking the safety off as he made his way to the door. You watched as he moved to leave, a tear sliding down your cheek as every part of you wanted to follow him out of the room.

“You shoot anyone who walks through that door who isn’t me, you hear?” Javier ordered and you took another steadying breath and nodded, pulling your own gun out. “That’s it, baby. Keep quiet and stay in here, yeah?” Again you nodded and with that Javier left the room, shutting the door silently behind him.

The house was painfully silent for a long couple of moments, your chest hurting as you practically stopped breathing to listen out for Javier. You flinched violently when you heard gunshots ringing out, too many to count and every part of you screamed to go out there and help Javier.

You couldn’t though, he had told you to stay hidden and you just needed to trust that he had this, that he could get the upper hand. Your stomach churned as you waited though, knowing that, whilst Javier wouldn’t hesitate to put a bullet in them especially when your safety was at risk, Escobar’s men were ruthless.

You just had to trust Javier. He was good with the gun, he knew what he was doing.

He would be ok.

The sound of gunshots seemed to last for hours when really it couldn't have been more than a few minutes before the house filled with silence. You held your breath again, waiting for any sign of life but when the house stayed silent you took a step towards the door with a feeling of dread.

Then you heard a thud before footsteps started to make their way towards the door. You took two steps back and held your gun tighter in your hands, hoping like hell it was Javier on the other side.

The seconds between hearing somebody grab the door knob and the door opening were tense and you let out a sharp breath of relief as Javier practically fell through the door. You noticed the blood covering him and ran over to him just in time to catch him, struggling to keep his weight up as you tried to find a wound.

“I’m alright,” Javier tried to assure you through gritted teeth and you just shook your head. “S’not all mine.”

“C’mon,” you said as you wrapped your arms around him more securely and practically dragged him out of the room, knowing you needed to get out of here. “We gotta get you to a hospital.”

“No!” Javier protested, stopping abruptly causing you to stumble and Javier to nearly fall to the ground, letting out a pained curse as he did. “No hospital.”

You didn’t argue with him, knew there was no time for that, so instead you nodded and repositioned your arms so you could help him to the car. It took longer than you would have liked but eventually you were driving away from the safehouse before any more of Escobar’s men had the chance to show up.

Javier had you drive to the apartment complex, he knew he couldn’t risk the two of you walking into a hospital, if Escobar was looking for the two of you then the staff under him wouldn’t hesitate to report two Americans walking in.

He gritted his teeth and leaned most of his weight onto you as the pair of you struggled up the stairs and into his apartment before you helped him onto the couch where he dropped onto it none too gently, letting out a hiss of pain as he did.

“Let me see.” You demanded, trying to keep your voice from shaking but Javier knew you better than anyone and could see how scared you were no matter how well you tried to hide it.

“I’m alright, baby.” Javier tried to reassure you again, his tone breathy as he tried to push the pain down.

You shook your head and knelt down in front of him, a sight Javier would have drank down any other time but right now his side ached in pain and it was taking all his strength to keep calm in front of you. Your hands came up to his blood stained shirt and pulled it up, murmuring a soft, distracted apology as he winced.

Your eyes immediately went to the wound on his side, a bullet had skimmed his skin, deep enough that he would definitely need stitches but thankfully the bullet had gone clean across his skin so there was no need to deal with it lodged in him.

“You need a hospital, Javi.” You told him, this time you weren’t able to stop the shake in your voice as you looked up at him and saw his head tilted to the side like he no longer had the strength to hold it up and his eyes drooped closed. “Hey! Don’t even think about sleeping.”

“No hospital, baby, can’t protect you right now.” Javier slurred out and you felt your own panic rise as you thought through your options. No hospital, Steve wasn’t in his apartment and Javier wouldn’t trust anyone in his right now.

You were going to have to patch him up yourself, a great idea if you actually knew what you were doing.

“Ok, ok, no hospital but you have to work with me, Javi, ok? You can’t sleep, I’ll be right back but you gotta stay awake for me.” You told him, moving to stand up and get Javier’s first aid kit, knowing it would be fully stocked with everything you needed.

“Do anything for you, baby.” Javier breathed out and despite yourself you couldn’t help but smile before moving around his apartment.

It didn’t take you long to come back to Javier’s side with everything you thought you needed and frowned at Javier’s closed eyes.

“Hey, you gotta wake up.” You told him whilst you gently shook his shoulder, watching as a lazy smile spread across his face and he forced his eyes open to look over at you.

“M’awake baby.” He promised you and you smiled back as you picked the soaked rag up and gently wiped over the wound, apologising as Javier winced and moaned. Once the wound was cleaned you rooted through the first aid kit and quickly found a needle and thread, wincing yourself as you pierced his skin to patch him up.

Your stomach turned at the sight but you knew you had to do this, so after taking a steadying breath you continued to make your way up the wound, finding it easier to breathe when the blood stopped coming out dangerously fast. Your hands were shaking as you tied the thread off after piercing the needle through the wound one last time before you sat back on your heels with a deep sigh.

“That’s my girl.” Javier said and you let out a shaky laugh that sounded more like a sob really, Javier’s hand coming up to slowly rest on your cheek to pull you closer to him.

You went willingly until your head rested against his shoulder and he moved his forehead to rest against yours, his thumb brushing across your cheek bone. You leaned into the touch, suddenly feeling as exhausted as Javier looked and Javier shifted slightly to press a soft, lingering kiss to your forehead that had your eyes filling with tears.

He was ok.

“You did good, you’re alright.” Javier assured, feeling your tears on his hand and you pulled away from him slightly, just far enough to look at him properly. “Hey, you’re alright, you’re safe.”

“Javi, you were shot.” You told him, he had been shot and here he was still making sure you were ok. “You were shot and you should have let me help you.”

“You did help me, you fixed me up-” Javier started but you cut him off with a shake of your head.

“You should have let me help you back in the house.” You protested and watched as Javier's face softened as he looked at you. “You got shot because you wanted to keep me safe but what if I was with-”

“Baby, if you were out there with me,” Javier interrupted you, pausing to wince as he sat up and you helped him into a sitting position. “If you were out there with me I promise you I’d be worse off.”

“But I could have protected you.” You told him and a smile spread across his face.

“Y/N, there were four guys with huge guns who didn’t hesitate to pull the trigger and I got away with a little scratch. If you were out there with me it would have been worse because I’d have been so focused on you I wouldn’t have been able to protect you properly.”

You were silent after that and Javier watched you process his words, he never wanted you to think he didn’t think you weren’t capable, he’d seen you out in the field and knew you could handle yourself but in a situation where you were outnumbered by, at the time, who knew how many men, Javier had to make a decision and he was always going to choose to put himself in danger before he let anything happened to you.

“Hey,” he said softly as he nudged your knee with his, “it’s been a shit day, let’s just go to bed.”

He watched as your eyebrows knitted together before you looked from him to his bedroom door and seemed to melt as the tension fell from you and you nodded, standing first so you could help Javier up.

Javier winced at the pain in his side but it was bearable enough that he could also focus on how good it felt to have you pressed up against him. It didn’t take long before you got to the bedroom and you set Javier down gently before he told you that you could wear one of his shirts.

You didn’t hesitate to grab one you knew well, it wasn’t anything special just a simple dark green shirt but it was well worn and smelt like Javier, it felt like being enveloped by the man. You left the bathroom and watched as Javier’s face shifted from a wince of pain into a soft smile that spread across his face and you couldn’t stop yourself smiling back.

This was how it was supposed to be, you and Javier coming home together, climbing into bed with each other where Javier could wrap his arms around and pull you into his chest. The two of you should have this and now that Javier had had a taste of you pressed up against him he knew he was done for, he knew there were no more excuses about why he couldn’t ask you out, knew he couldn’t go back to nights filled with prostitutes to mask the loneliness he felt.

This was how it was meant to be, you and him together, with hopefully less blood and needles, but the two of you together in a home that was your own.

__________

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@mandomover, @paintlavillered, @myguiltypleasures21, @alexxavicry, @sirachaee, @bubsonnobx, @punkpirate82, @bookfrog242, @shadowheads-shitshow, @pedritoswife, @little-diable, @nashja, @avengersfan25

Thank you so much for reading!❤️‍🔥

#javier peña #javier peña x reader #javier peña imagine #javier peña imagines #javier pena #javier pena x reader #javier pena imagine #javier pena imagines #javier peña fanfiction #narcos x reader #narcos #narcos imagine #narcos imagines #narcos fanfic #narcos fanfiction

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cositapreciosa · 1 year

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Hi lovely, if you’re taking requests please could I get your take on this (I cannot get it out of my head)🥲 Javier Peña x fem - in a secret relationship and they get into a huge argument before a really important meeting and end up fucking on Gaviria’s desk👀

Honey

Javier Peña x gn!reader (swearing, smut, not full on but like, a bit, the usual for the show), 1721 words

a/n : had to use a side profile gif, otherwise, it would have been a war crime. Did i just write? like half a smut? 2022 really was something

As always it's the fictional, not the real deal, enjoy xx (do I really have to put this warning on lil javi here?)

‘’ Los pepes, Javi? This is insane. ‘’

Javier is pacing in front of you. Left, right, left, right. The wood of the desk behind you is pressing on your hip, a constant reminder on how real this moment is, how he is a hundred percent serious, no joking around this time,

‘’ It is not. ‘’

His fingers are twitching, restless, begging for a smoke. He emphasizes each word as if doing so would make you believe he’s right, like this isn’t career suicide, like this would solve everything. The final piece to the puzzle that is Colombia’s war on drugs,

‘’ You can’t be fucking serious- ‘’

‘’ Are you going to report me? Is that what you’re saying? ‘’

Your hand raises to your forehead, pressing the skin, hiding behind your hand. You didn't want your day to start off like this, fighting once more about him putting his life on the line. Sneaking around again to hide from the glances and the whispers. You had been doing a good job at it for a few months, even when he had started to be bolder at times. You sigh,

‘’ Don’t. Don’t put words in my mouth, Javier. ‘’

You can tell this one stings by how his lips curl slightly. How his full name, raw, usually foreign, comes out of your mouth. The air is tense in the room, whoever’s empty office he pulled you into. You knew he had been hiding something for weeks now. You don’t know what is worst, how you were thinking for a second that maybe he was maybe trying to fuck the new secretary, or how he was actually fucking around with narcos. You can’t stop how your foot taps incessantly on the carpet,

‘’ Does Steve knows about this? ‘’

Your voice comes out smaller than you intended, soft and whispered, like a secret. Did you tell him before me, you want to say, do you trust me as much as I trust you. It is a shame really, how you want to be the first person he confides in, how you yearn to be more than a lover at times.

You don’t remember when you and Javier had started going out, meeting out after work, sipping away the stress of the week. But you do remember how easy it had been to ease into it, to borrow his shirts so you could stay the night, to remember his days off and his favourite colour,

‘’ You’re the only one that knows. I thought you would understand. ‘’

You shake your head, shifting your weight to your other foot,

‘’ I do, Ja- ‘’ you swallow, hard, ‘’ I do, but you can’t put those guys in prison and shake their hands at the same time. ‘’

He reaches into his pocket, finally pulling a cigarette from the pack. He knows you’re right. His eyes don’t leave your face as he lights it up, and you can tell he’s burning inside, red eyes, fingers twitching. You push yourself off the desk, taking a step forward. Your hand comes up, cradling his bicep. He smells of cigarette, and whiskey and-

‘’ When was the last time you had a full night’s sleep, amor? ‘’

The word comes soft from your lips, rolling off your tongue. His shoulders relax a bit as he exhales smoke through his nose. You know he doesn’t need a new enemy right now, that he feels like he is surrounded on all fronts. It is a cry for help in a way, looking for solace in desperate times,

‘’ Frankly? ‘’ he pulls again at his cigarette, smoke filling up the space between you, ‘’ I stopped counting. ‘’

Your hand caresses down and up his arm. You are not surprised by how Javier decided to take the matter into his own hands, how he thinks doing this will end up saving everyone, even if he knows it’s not entirely true. You sigh,

‘’ I can’t risk my career, my life, on this. Maybe you end up back in the US if the higher-ups catch you, severance package or whatever, but what do you think happens to me? ‘’

Colombia, is what will happen to you, sicarios and forced resignation, is what will happen to you. You can’t look at him, so you play with his shirt instead, rubbing the material between your fingers as he leans behind you toward the desk to put out his cigarette. You can smell his aftershave and you know his eyes are trying to find yours again while he straightens his back,

‘’ I can have you an embassy ID, you can come with me. ‘’

It is like you have been shocked, raising your head so fast to look at him. Don’t sell promises you can’t give me. It is your turn to be angry now,

‘’ Don’t lie to me. Don’t say things like that. ‘’

‘’ I wouldn’t lie to you if I didn’t think I could do it. ‘’, his hand is wrapped around your elbow now, bringing you closer again, ‘’ I mean it. Do this with me, come back home with me after this. ‘’

Home.

Not yours, his. His country, his language, his favourite dinner places. Not yours. You stay silent, you don’t know what you want, what you should do, or why you want to say yes. You cross your arms, stepping back to lean on the wood once more,

‘’ I’m not sure what you want me to do. How you want me to help. ‘’

‘’ You have access to a lot more information than I do. I am not asking you to share everything, I want you to come to me if you feel it would help. You don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. ‘’

He is a step away from you now, cornering you between him and the desk. You can smell the remnant of the cigarette on him, overpowering his cologne. You don’t remember when he got so close or when his hand wrapped carefully behind your ear to press away at the tension in your neck. You can see the concern in his eyes, almost like regret. Maybe I should have kept this to myself. You know he is overthinking like he always does. His thigh is warm between yours as you pull him closer by the belt buckle,

‘’ I’ll see what I can come up with. Your secret is safe with me, okay? ‘’

You feel the need to reassure him. You want him to know, know that you won’t exchange him for a few favours from his boss. His breath is soft on your cheek, his nose moving across your temple. If anyone were to come in now, with him between your legs, his mouth in your hair-

‘’ Javi… They will wait for me before starting the meeting. ‘’

Your sentence comes out insistent, a small warning without any real meaning behind it. Don’t start something you can’t finish. His arms slither between yours and the rest of your body, his palms pressing against the wooden desk as he leans forward, belt slipping from your fingertips as his hips pull naturally backward.

‘’ Do you have to go now? ‘’

It’s not a question, even though he does whisper it like one. Don’t go. Stay here. An order, even if there is no rank to pull. His hand slides up from the desk to your hips in one long motion, gripping at the flesh, wrinkling the fabric. His thigh comes up between your legs, pressing against you. Your head lulls back slightly, eyes following the motion,

‘’ I do, I really do- ‘’

His mouth is behind your ear now, whispering things in English you barely understand and don’t care to, as his hand taunts the skin under your shirt, pulling it from under your belt. Air gets stuck in your throat, the noises in the hallway stop. His leg comes up again, leaning forward into you with his whole body, rubbing himself on your thigh. Javier groans as your hand weave in his hair, pulling skin and curls as his lips trail your neck, tongue and teeth,

‘’ I don’t want you to go. I really really don’t want you to go. ‘’

His fingers hook the underside of your knees, pushing you further into the desk. His voice is soft, hypnotizing, and you know you can’t say no to him. You never can. The whole thing feels like a dream, like being stirred in honey, back and forth, back and forth,

‘’ Come with me, ‘’ he breathes, laboured, moaning, ‘’ Even if you don’t do this, I want you to come back with me. ‘’

Fuck.

‘’ Stop- ‘’ you press your fingers to his mouth, to keep his moans from echoing in the hallway, to keep his words from piercing through your skin,

‘’ I’ll take care of you, you know I will. ‘’ he starts again. His breath is warm on your fingers, you can feel the humidity on your skin. His hand lowers on your stomach, fingertips sliding under your underwear,

‘’ I know. I know, I just- ah ‘’

You melt into him, pushing your hips into his hand as he pushes back against your thigh,

‘’ Come with me, I beg you. ‘’

Come for me. Your resolve is weak in his hands. Slipping between your fingers, pooling around on the floor, seeping into the carpet,

‘’ Yes, alright, yes. ‘’

A defeat of sorts, but not one you go out of really losing. Your underwear slightly burns your skin as he pulls it up, pushing it to the side as much as can. He moans in your ear, again and again. Your head rolls on his shoulder, and it’s your turn to cry out, chest pressing against his,

‘’ Don’t, god- Please don’t be too loud, if someone walks in- ‘’

‘’ Are you even listening to yourself right now? ‘’ he breathes out, laughing.

You can feel him smiling against your cheek, how taunting his words are, teasing. Tomorrow will be another day, but as he lowers you onto the desk once and for all, pushing around at the papers and clippings, you know you signed yourself off to something way above your pay grade.

#javier pena x reader #javier pena imagine #javier x reader #narcos imagine #narcos imagines #pedro pascal x reader

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chaotic-iguana · 7 months

Note

PLEASE I'm requesting any Pedro boy taking care of sick reader and being all cute I just. I'm so sick rn please I need some new delusionals in my mind

a/n: please gws sending u the best hug and soup ever i hope you feel better (and have a javi to take care of u). did my best considering i havent written in a while, lmk what u think

feeling better

javier peña x reader

warnings: fluff, sickness | 0.36k | masterlist

“cariño?”

javier’s voice rung out in your shared apartment, a tremor of anxiety creeping into his tone at the sight of the scattered blankets, clothes and tissues gracing your living room floor. he shut the door softly, footsteps silent as he inched closer to the bedroom at the sound of your sniffle. gently pushing the door open, he stuck his head inside and found you curled up on the bed, balled up in what looked like-was it four-multiple blankets, shivering with a near-empty box of tissues on the bedside.

“oh, honey.” walking up to you, he caught sight of your half-closed swollen eyes, your nose and cheeks tinged red as you sneezed again. bringing a hand to your forehead, he shushed your whine when his fingers pulled away.

you cracked an eye open, hissing against the sunlight to watch his furrowed brows and eyes wide with worry. making a valiant attempt to say “go away, javi ‘m sick, it might spread,” you groaned and half-babbled incoherently, trying to roll yourself away from him, just getting yourself tangled in the blankets in the process. he huffed at the sight before gently gripping your ankle to get it out of the mess you’d made, planting a kiss on your forehead before bending to pick up the used tissues littering the floor under the opposite wall.

your eyes have fluttered shut by the time he turns back to you, and the fact that you’d insisted you were alright just this morning paired with the stubborn pout of your lips - even in sleep - makes him smile, before shaking his head and getting to work. time to bust out his mother’s fail-safe chicken soup recipe.

three days later, when the shine returns to your eyes and your fever finally flushes out, you make a joke about how much of a mother hen he’d become when you were sick - hovering, panicking, setting alarms for your medicine and refusing to leave your bedside at any given time.

which is why you aren’t too surprised when a week later, javi’s the one in bed.

at least you’re stocked up on medicine. and chicken soup.

hello loves, thank you for reading mwah. comment your thoughts or find me on ao3.

taglist: @imherefordeanandbones, @theywhowriteandknowthings, @josephquinnswhore, @millerscoffee, @nostalxgic, @sscorpiiio, @pedrosaidsheispunk, @its-nebuleuse, @sofiparallel, @mandoisapunk, @bastardmandennis, @pawnshopb1ues, @amanitacowboy, @party-hearses, @planet-marz1, @chiogarza, @jenispunk,

dividers by @saradika

HUGE THANKS TO @bastardmandennis for looking over this ily sm

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rise-my-angel · 1 year

Text

A Future of Unknown Dangers

Pairing: Javier Peña x Female Reader

Length: 4.2k

Warnings: Angst with a happy ending, miscommunication, mentions of smut, mentions of oral (m receiving)

Notes: Takes place between seasons 2 and 3, Follow up Waging Double Edged War and The Complexities Of Defeat

This wasn’t the kind of heat you had been used too. The air was stark and dry, a relentless sun that poured down on you with little reprieve. Texas heat was dry and arid, meaning the windy days did practically nothing to cool you off. How both Peña’s worked in tandem, unbothered by the weather, confounded you. Colombia was hot, but that heat was humid making the air heavy and reminded you of the kind of summers where you grew up. This though, was just cruel.

You had been watching Javier and Chucho off in the distance as you cleaned off the mud that had splashed all over your horse. She was a stubborn girl, could sense how inexperienced and nervous you were around her and took full advantage of it. At this point, you two developed a frenemy sort of dynamic, she cooperated when needed but spared you none of her attitude. But you had started to get used to it, you had started to get used to a lot about living on a ranch these past few months.

Your shortcomings aside, you were glad that Chucho trusted you to be able to do work on your own now. It gave you time to freely let your frustrations and insecurity take over. Javi didn’t want you here, not really. Ever since you had been here, it wasn’t just a result of the DEA sending him home right before the end of the case, or his actions that led to the temporary leave that plagued him. Javi had tried to convince you not to come with him, but now that you had, things were tense enough that you begun to doubt everything between you.

Both of you were different in Colombia. What you were to each other was undoubtedly a relationship, there was an emotional connection there that clearly neither of you had in a long time. Neither of you had any hesitation about how you felt, until Javi was sent home. Until you refused to abandon him at his lowest, and now you were here.

Struggling to scrub drying mud off a cranky horse, trying to figure out why Javi didn’t just cut you loose if he was this unhappy with you. Did he bring you here only to find out over time that in the real world you weren’t what he wanted, or did he never want this and brought you out of pity and just can’t bring himself to tell you to leave. You didn’t have anywhere to go other than maybe a motel to cry in, so he just kept you here until he figured out how to get rid of you.

Part of you wondered if you should talk to Chucho about it, but he was very close with his son. He had his hands full just trying to pull Javi out of the dark that Colombia dragged him into, he didn’t need you complicating matters. So you were quiet. A lot of your time here lately was quiet and alone.

Most nights this past week you had stayed up long enough for Javi to go to sleep before joining, most times sitting against a beam on the porch, legs out stretched in front of you as the single outside lamp gave you just enough light to draw. Draw until you could climb into bed, if he were already asleep than the distance hurt a little less. You could shove down the choked up sensation in your throat and pretend that he’s only distant because he’s asleep. You were up before him as well now.

Alone in the kitchen, back to the entrance as you sipped at your coffee and occupied yourself with the book you kept on the counter. The Peña’s would come in, sometimes Javi would gently talk to you directly, sometimes not, but certainly he didn’t touch you.

At first the quiet was nice in general, so many years in Bogota made the ranch’s distance from town feel refreshing. Now it felt isolating. Leaving you overwhelmed in a dry hot day with a horse that hated you, and a boyfriend who seemed to be coming to the same conclusion. At least you knew people back in Colombia, out here in Laredo you don’t know anyone aside from the men gracious enough to keep housing you. Javier was trying to let you down gently when he told you abandoning your job to come home with him wasn’t worth it. He was trying to cut you loose in the nicest way possible, but you were just too stupid to see it. To blinded by what you thought was turning into love. So you just waited for the day Javi had enough and tells you to find your own place to stay. Chucho seems to tolerate you, but he would respect his sons wishes at the end of the day.

It was that waiting fear that had you slowly start to pack your small bag when no one was in the house, so that when this was all over, you could respect his decision and leave right away. You’ve made Javier this unhappy, and the last thing you wanted to do was to overstay your welcome. Maybe if you both weren’t stubborn, you and him could be having the conversation Javi was currently only brave enough to have with his father.

The evening was falling on them, the sun finally down and the last of the blue sky slowly fading. You had gone out to town to buy groceries in the quiet, less busy time. The late night clerks used to your quiet, out of place presence, typically trying to zone out the world with earbuds in connected to a well used Walkman. Ironic that when you were living in Bogota you always had cassettes you brought from America to listen to, but now you always could be found playing music you had discovered in Colombia.

Javi had found himself sitting on the steps you usually could be found at, one hand resting on his knee, the other mindlessly nursing a half beer he hardly was drinking anymore. The loud sound of his fathers footsteps approaching hardly surprised him, Chucho had been trying to find a good time to bring it up to him. “Pushing her away isn’t going to feel any better for either of you when you leave.”

Javi’s head dropped down briefly, his eyes shit as his free hand runs over them in frustration. “She left her job to follow me here. How am I supposed to turn around after that and tell her I’m going right back just when she’s starting to get settled.”

Chucho was loud and clear though, knowing he needed to force his way past the stubborn fog to get his son to understand. “Javier, the only thing she’s settled with is feeling like you want nothing to do with her.” Javi’s eyes closed, his hand now covering his eyes as he rests into his palm. “That girl’s barley said more than a sentence at a time for days now. When you two first got here, if I didn’t know any better I’d have said you’d just got off your honeymoon with how close you were. Now you’re acting like complete strangers.”

Javi felt the guilt. You were the first relationship that truly meant something to him since Lorraine, and here he was making the same mistakes. Only this time, you were far different than her. He was enamored with you from the first day you arrived, nervously setting up the very few items you had brought with you around the desk. You never reciprocated his, usually playful and not serious, flirty comments, but you were never rude or dismissive. Just a shy, unbelieving smile before politely asking what it was he needed.

You were bright and shining, and no matter what always gave showed him respect and support without sucking up to him. He was hesitant to make a real move, not wanting you to feel taken advantage of by a superior, or feel like a cliche; the brooding agent seducing the naive secretary into his bed.

That first kiss lingered in his mind. How no matter how close he was to you, you never made an advance at him in fear of misunderstanding his intentions. Even as he cupped both sides of your face, his nose nudging against yours and sharing gentle words it was still Javi who had to make the plunge. His lips burned for hours after as he relived how pliant and incredibly receptive you were to his kiss alone.

Yet here he was, pushing you away in fear of hurting you. His fathers voice brought him back to the present. “Javi, this isn’t healthy. It’s eating both of you up, once of you has to say something to the other, or you’re going to wind up leaving her wondering if you left out of guilt or if you just wanted to.”

Javi’s face contorted with frustration, his head whipping around to him wide eyed and voice tad too loud. “That’s not what I want, she-” he interrupted himself with a sigh. Shutting his eyes and quietly muttering, “Sorry, this isn’t,” opening his eyes again in remorse. “I shouldn’t be yelling at you.”

Chucho waved his hand in dismissal, chuckling as he stood up. “Not the first time you’ve raised your voice at me, Javier. I did raise you after all.” Javi shrugged one shoulder with a half smile, feeling his father put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Talk to her, mijo.” Nodding to you pulling up to the house.

Javi swallowed hard as he watched you tentatively climb out from the tall truck, watching him with a soft but unsure look. For a moment you looked at each other. Your heart filled with worry that you were going to lose this entirely, and Javi’s heart pulling at him painfully for not just trusting you to handle the truth as you always have.

As you turned to quietly start reaching for your bag, Javi’s footsteps crunching in the gravel approached you. Suddenly, your side was engulfed in his familiar warmth, and arm curling around your back to hold your hip as he leans into your ear. “I’ve got it.” His deep voice rumbled in comfort as he reached for your stuff without ever taking his hand away from you.

You expected him to just turn and leave, but he didn’t. Just gently nudged your to shut the car door and follow in his touch. Javi pressing a kiss to the top of your head, lingering longer then normal before speaking into your hair. “Meet me upstairs, okay? I need you to myself for a little while.”

Waiting in Javi’s room felt strange. Perched on the edge of the bed, stiff posture as your fingertips tapped at your thighs. You had spent a lot of time this evening wondering what went wrong. At what point at your stay back in the States, did your relationship change, what took place between you two that stood out to him worse than anything you went through in Colombia.

The room felt heavy as Javi walked through the door. The bass of his footsteps resonating through the room, the gentle shut of the door sounding loud as a bang in the stark silence. Hands wringing together in front of you, you stood up suddenly hoping to placate the situation. “Javi,”

Palm out to stop your words in their tracks, he closed the distance between you two, not missing a beat as he cups your cheeks in the exact soft manner he did before your first kiss together. Your own hands naturally found a resting place on his chest right below his collarbone. The stroke of his thumbs against your cheeks, Javi leaned in his lips brushing against yours. “You mean the world to me, cariño.”

Not leaving you room to voice doubt, Javi claimed your lips. A soft press together as he gently guided you to follow his lead. But with every new brush, Javi’s veins sparked alight. Your hands sliding up one against the side of his neck while the other found it’s way behind his head through the ends of his hair.

Javi’s greed took over for a moment, kiss becoming just that much harsher, more demanding as it reflected the hunger for your touch he missed. Almost allowing himself to be consumed by you before his tongue just barley found yours and pulled him back suddenly. His touch never left you, but he tilted your head down to kiss your forehead. “C’mere.”

Leading you to the bed, Javi sat with his back up against the headboard as his hands guided you to straddle his lap, hands firmly on your hips as your own squeezed at his shoulders almost in a massaging manner. His wide brown eyes bore deep into your own, so many conflicting messages swimming in them, and most of them read pain. You cupped his jaw, the scruff he had been to in a rush this morning to shave itched against your palm. “I’m sorry.”

He grabbed your hand on his face, turning it in his grip to kiss the palm of it before gently placing it on his chest. Pulling you in just a tad more with an arm winding against your back with a push. “You shouldn’t be.” Closing his eyes he took a moment to gather the words. “You left your job to follow me here, to support me even at my worst. And in return, all I’ve done is keep you at an arms distance. That’s not what I wanted for us.”

You so rarely heard him soft and vulnerable. “What did you want, Javi?” Your other hand had dropped to his side, thick under your hand. “Ever since we got here, I can’t...I don’t know what I did, but it just feels like..” Your voice fading as the guilt of your own rose, the doubt of who he is and what he wanted didn’t sit right in your stomach, especially not with him right in front of you, in his arms.

His hand nudged at your chin with a bump, before his fingers slid across the skin. His thumb going back and forth over your bottom lip. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” When your eyes shifted to the side, Javi grew firmer. “Hey, look at me. You did nothing wrong here. I’m just, it feels like I dragged you away with my mistakes.”

Your sigh was more of frustration, taking Javi off guard. “What exactly did you drag me away from, Javi?” It as your turn to be firm with him. “Did you drag me away when you tried to convince me not to quit? When you tried unpacking my own stuff when I told you I was coming with you? Was it dragging me down when at every opportunity you tried to give me an out to what? Abandon you?”

Javi softly said your name, the pain in his eyes flashing to a different kind of sorrow. “I can’t just shove all this shit onto you, you deserve better.”

Your hand wasn’t gentle this time, his face slightly turned away from you was pulled quickly as you re positioned yourself to see his eyes more clearly. “I deserve to be with someone I care about, and so do you. You’re not going to chase me away with that as if I haven’t seen exactly what you’ve been through back home.”

Javi’s heart lurched at that. You calling it home. He felt home here, but there was something just as comforting and natural about living in Javi’s apartment together, as if you always had been there with him. The apartment you two crafted your relationship together, when Javi finally got too greedy to keep himself away from you anymore.

“Pushing me away isn’t going to make me leave. Everyone needs someone in their corner, Javier. And I don’t care if you agree or not, it’s not going to change the fact that I am here. With you. I left my low paying secretary job to stay and support the man I love. That is what you deserve.”

It wasn’t quite those words. Javi had felt it deep in his chest for a long time now, and even though it wasn’t exactly it, Javi felt warm regardless. That you would even consider love part of what you felt towards him. He muttered your name, “I’m sorry, I don’t even know where to start really.”

This time your sigh was light, the kind of sigh you let out when Javi was hovering over your desk poking lightly at you for eating your lunch while working instead of joining the others. “I’m not good at making friends.” Was what you told him, and that very sigh along a smiling eye roll when he responded by saying you were doing just fine with him.

He felt your lips against his, your restraint for a soft, small kiss much better than his will power. There was that little smile, almost a smirk as you looked at him. “I’m not asking you to apologize. I’m just asking you to help me keep up, because you don’t deserve to be alone...and I’m pretty sure you don’t want to be either.”

His weak will power took over for a moment too long. Pushing himself back into your lips, his kiss was much more harsh and rough, a passion filling your mouth that spoke what words were still unsaid between you. Refusing to let you go too far from him, he leaned his forehead against yours. “Being with me isn’t going to be easy from here on out.”

God did he miss that laugh, the one that bordered on a giggle that you just let out. “You’re presuming being with you has been a walk in the park right up until now.”

Your smile grew wider as that furrowed brow of annoyance graced his features. Mouth in a fine line as he tossed you to the side of the bed and leaned partially over top of you. “Right, because that’s what you’d be saying every time I had my cock in your mou-”

Covering his mouth didn’t do much, Javi just grabbed your hand refusing to release it in a playful wrestle a grin on his face. Grabbing your other Javi pushed both arms down with a tangle of your fingers together with an oof. “What can I say? You were always a mouthful.”

Javi was much more successful at covering your mouth, his large hands and strong frame worked against you as your laugh vibrated against his skin. “You can never just behave, can you?”

Your eyes narrowed with a mischievous tone, and Javi moved his hand just in time for both of you to move into the other.

You lost track of how long your lips refused to part ways, how long his hands moved you every time he wanted to deepen his kiss, and how good his broad shoulders felt under your touch. By the time you both had slowed down, you were completely out of breath. Head leaned up to rest in the space between his neck and shoulders, both of you lovingly holding the other. Javi kissed the top of your head as he hovered over your body entirely to rummage through his bedside table. Pulling back, you finally felt the kind of warmth he used to give you so willingly.

Coming back to your eye line, Javi dragged the corner of a passport across your exposed skin from where his kiss pulled the fabric down. Your eyebrows cocked up in question before he wordlessly opened it to show it was yours.

You grabbed his hand and he held yours back tightly. “It’s going to be different this time, cariño. Cali’s... a completely different animal.”

Moving the passport from his hold, you tossed it just out of sight for now. “So will you, I’m not sure what you’re going to do with all that extra energy not running around Medellin all day.” Javi’s head shoving into your neck, a playful bite with the soothing of a kiss right after. The faint mumbling of having a faint idea how to get rid of it.

Javi kissed his way back to looking in your eyes, leaving a path from your neck to your lips in a gentle kiss before pulling back. His hand stroking over your hair. “I’m in charge this time. Which means I’m going to have a whole lot more eyes on me. I want you with me as much as you can. These guys have a much wider net then you think, cariño and I don’t like the idea of just leaving you alone most of the time.”

Your hand raked through his air, the heat of the evening curling it around his ears. “Think they haven’t filled the oh so reclusive secretary position yet?”

Javi shrugged. His body so much more casual, the muscles relaxed and cozy up against your body. If you’re going to be honest you had no idea at what point in your making out did his shirt come off, but the touch of his skin soothed you like healing a burn. “Maybe my own secretary, make you my assistant, I’ll figure something out. I’ll feel safer knowing you’re in the embassy where they can’t touch you.”

Both of you had a serious look, but your bodies melted into each other in understanding. “We figure it out together.”

Javi smiled once more, “Together. I promise you, we do this together no matter what.” Kissing you once more you fell into each others touch for a while before sleep finally consumed you both.

Your final days were uninteresting. You packed what little you brought home, only this time with a few extra things to remind you of here. Chucho was just as more at ease as Javi now that you two had talked it out, your routine much more like what a family would feel like.

Going to a wedding that you were so out of your depths with, Javi’s relatives laughing about what a city girl you were, but pulling you into a hug like normal family all the same. Javi had a short talk with Lorraine while there. You didn’t talk to her, it felt strange. She was once apart of Javi’s life that you had nothing to do with. It didn’t last long, their talk. Javi clearly felt better after, less tense about seeing her knowing her own life worked out while he was working on making his work.

He did however take a longer took at her family, at the kids before his eyes bore into your figure. Not that you noticed, Chucho making sure to tease Javi out of your earshot. “If you want to sneak out to the jeweler, I can stall for you.”

Javi warned him, a stern tone of his name as you approached. Chucho just laughed into his drink. That night in the truck, you almost left them to talk, you knew it was personal. But both insisted it was alright, that you should stay. It wasn’t quite clear to you at the time, plagued both with exhaustion and maybe a little too many mixed drinks asking you to sleep them off. But they wanted you there, Javi was done trying to hide his life from you. You were his family now, watching Lorraine with hers only made Javi imagine the same with you. Kids included, not that he would admit that even to himself right now.

You left for the airport not much longer. Heading back into the fire, knowing it was going to be more than just the Cali Cartel keeping their eyes on Javi. He had told you as such, “If they were strict before, they’re gonna give me hell now.”

You just kissed him, a too intimate kiss between lovers in an airport of judging onlookers, but what you two were walking into was more than what cozy living Texans thought. “Am I too expect the same treatment? Boss?”

Javi grumbled under his breathe. “Don’t get me started.” His body hid the slap to your ass he gave as he moved you to go ahead, but the smacking sound sure was loud, along with the lingering eye of Javi watching the jiggle. Your destination was tense, but at least what was between you felt far more normal. Silver lining.

It was weird being back in Colombia, the last time you arrived you were alone and anxious. Worrying what the hell were you thinking and how maybe you should just go home, take that minimum wage department store job. Only this time, you knew where you were, what this was and what you were getting into.

And more importantly, you had Javi at your side, his arm around your waist as his skin shined in the bright sun. A look you were way to familiar with, a blue short sleeve button up and sun glasses that he absolutely just bought before the flight. His old ones sat on your own face.

Javi called your name, and pulled your hand up into a kiss. “We good?”

You nodded with a confident smile, pulling your joined hands to return a kiss to his. “We’re good.”

He was right, Cali was going to be an entirely different operation, and with Javi in charge that’s going to just put that much more pressure onto him to not screw up. You weren’t going anywhere though. You two were in it together this time, no matter how bad neither of you knew it was about to get.

#javier pena x reader #javier peña x reader #javier pena x you #javier peña x you #javier pena imagine #javier peña imagine #javier pena fic #javier peña fic #narcos imagine #narcos fic #pedro pascal x reader

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bubbles-for-all-of-us · 10 months

Text

I'll crawl home to you II

Previous chapter

a/n I welcome you all to the part two. Thank you so much for all the love and reading. 🤍✨

summary: having a fight with someone you care about right before the mission might be the worst idea ever especially when you don't know if you'll make it out alive.

warning: fighting, guns, past trauma, injuries, blood lots of it, mentions of death, needles, IV's, bruised veins, heavy mention of hospitals, death nr.2, choking, nudity, mentions of sexual intoxications this one packs a punch so be weary.

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"Right, what's on your mind?", you muttered, pushing the cigarette closer to Javi, which he happily took into his fingers before dragging in the smoke. Allowing the warmth of it to go down his lungs. Javi was sitting by the tub in his apartment. The tub that he used as a shower at best. He hated baths, hence his naked, sprawled-out form, right beside the bath and not in it. Not behind you. Even if he wanted nothing more than another handful of moments of holding you. But it was enough to just watch you like this for now. More than enough. Well, Javi was convinced that he was still riding the post-orgasmic high.

"Work", he muttered, dropping his head back before puffing a cloud of smoke, "That fucking lead is on my mind". Your eyes scanned him for a moment. Today had been one of those days where, besides the unbearable heat, so much shit went south that the screaming in the office didn't ease till 3 in the afternoon. A new record of everyone being pissed off at one another was achieved.

"And how many fucks does it usually take you till you forget about work?", you asked, leaning your head at the edge of the bathtub. Not caring about covering yourself up. Javi had already seen everything more than once. Although you are being pressed against his bedroom wall, with him deep within you, growling in your ear as he edged you closer to your orgasm now felt ages ago, your skin was already missing the feeling of his fingers.

"One", Javi muttered, and you couldn't help the chuckle that escaped your lips. "Shit, agent, I'm doing that bad of a job?". Just what Javi truly meant was that it took one carelessness. Chaotic fuck with you. For him to come back to his senses. If he was fucking a random whore, his head wouldn't settle at all. And it's not even about the sex here. Fuck that, even if it's good. It's you. The smell of you. The way you trace your fingers down his back while he's still deep inside you, panting as he catches his breath. It's the way Javi can feel your heartbeat beneath him. The way your warm skin is pressed against his own, and he finally feels it Feels what calmness feels like. What it feels like to stop and just be.

Javi splashes his face with cold water, shoving that moment as deep as he possibly could. Not now. Not like this. His hands are still stained pink. Fuck knew the blood didn't budge like that. But then he had never been covered in so much blood before. Your blood. His body stagers again. The hours spent in the hospital had been brutal. Javi's eyes fall on the bandage covering the place where they had punctured a needle only a couple of hours ago. Had it only been that? A couple of hours? Javi runs his hand through his hair.

"Get a doctor in here! Quick!", A pair of nurses rushed out; Javi jumped up, and Steve was right beside him. You had been in that room for no longer than thirty minutes. It was all okay, they said. Under control. This didn't feel like something that was under control. "What is going on?", Javi's voice sounded weak. Gone were the confidence and snarl. No, Javi doesn't remember the last time he felt so many emotions. He did not know that he was capable of them.

"What the fuck? Is. Going. On. ", Javi swiftly yanked a nurse rushing to go back inside by the collar. Steve moved to step in, but at that moment, even he knew that interfering meant finding your head in the wall in the next ten seconds. "She's rapidly losing blood and the hospital…", the woman took a moment to swallow, and Javi quickly shook her, "Our blood supplies are low, sir".

And just like the moment the bullet pierced your skin, Javi's world stopped spinning. Halted. Shutting down all of his senses before he's thrown back into the waiting room once more. No. This can't be the reason you die. Fuck all of it. He'll pay for every drop of blood. He'll get you the blood himself if he had to. Get you… "It's the same…", Javi gripped the nurse's hand even tighter, "Tell them it's the same. Put me in there".

And that whole procedure was a blur. Until you're only a hand's reach away. The machines were clacking all around. The number of wires and tubes sticking out of your body was crippling to the core, and the first time Javi's eye landed on you, he had to fight the bile rising in his throat. Then the shock faded, and the need to protect you rose. To hold you. The machine that Javi too was hooked to started beeping, indicating the rapid increase of his heartbeat. His head jerked up; suddenly he was scared it would disturb you too much. But your eyes don't shoot open, and you weren't grumbling at him for being too noisy, like some mornings.

Javi clenches his jaw. Tears now once again threatened to spill over his cheeks. And they do. But Javi doesn't brush them away. Who cares. No one is here. Just you. He can be venerable in front of you. "You will wake up, right?", he muttered, his hands reaching out to touch your limp fingers. The angle was awkward. And the nurse had strictly informed Javi not to move his hand too much. But fuck that. Fuck rules. Were they getting you both anyway? So Javi laces his fingers through yours, "You will wake up and snarl at me, will you? For being an ass", Javi bites down on his lips, suppressing the sob that is now right there at the peak of his throat, "And yet I won't tell you; I told you so this time. You just woke up, okay?"

Javi rips the bandage off, right as another wave of tears blurs his vision. The vein raptured, and the purple bruise was already forming. But he didn't care; he couldn't bring himself to care. It had been static nothingness after they walked him out of the room. Out and away from you. Javi clenches the sink angrily. The old thing rattles beneath his grip. He should have pushed harder. He should have never walked out because his stupid, manly pride was hurt. And he knows that if you don't… No, Javi chases that thought away. We manifest our thoughts. His pope always said to him growing up, Be careful of what you think, Javier.

"I was a pinch away from blowing his balls right there and then", the back door shuts with a bang as you stride towards Javi, who had been leaning against the wall for the past ten minutes. "Did you pull your gun?", Javi asks casually, as if that were a normal procedure for a Thursday night. "Pulled? It was up his nutsack," Javi snickers. Poor fuck crapped his pants for sure. Now he's almost upset that he didn't stick around to see that.

"What are you smiling for?", you snicker angrily, snatching a lighter from Javi's back pocket. Your left hand is shaking. With a mix of anger and strength, you probably held your gun. Javi takes the lighter back. The last thing he needs is for you to burn your hand now. "You amuse me", he admits when the cigarette finally catches the heat.

"Don't fuck with me, Pena. I might just pull the same stunt on you", you warn him, now feeling the shaking seep into your whole body. No matter how many times you went through the waves of adrenaline. The aftermath was never pretty. Javi pushes his cigarette against the brick wall and says, "Come here", You don't move, but his hand laces behind your neck, bringing your body closer to his chest. You don't fight it.

Letting the warmth of him envelop you. Your free hand clenches his shirt. It's such a small gesture. Simple one too. But it's all that you need. All it takes is for your body to budge, and you're not shaking anymore. It's like Javi just soaked up all of that bubbling within you in seconds: "Next time you pull a gun at any of them, keep me around", and Javi can hear your muffled laugh against his chest. And he's smiling. Truly smiling with you pressed tightly to his chest.

"The nurse said she'd be transferred soon", Javi nearly jumps at the sound of Steve's voice, which snatches him out of his head. Javi lost track of how many times he had told Steve to go home. Everyone did. Everyone left. Not that many stuck around for the hospital run in general. But Steve didn't budge. He was there. He stuck to very few or none of the comforting words. Connie hadn't even managed to drag him home. A part of Javi wanted to shove Steve out the door, but then again, he was glad that he wasn't alone.

"You know what that means?", Steve speaks up again. Pulling the neatly wrapped-up sandwich from behind his back, "I think it's time you eat just how you were instructed to". Javi glares at him before turning his attention back to the door. The door that leads to the room they were keeping you in: How were you doing? Did your body push through the transfer? Had they checked that you were stable? Double checked? Did triple-check?

"Come on, Javi, you don't want her…", Steve tries again. His voice is gentle and soft, and Javi hates it. His hands banged on the plastic chairs, sending a sharp sound down the empty hallway. "Stop fucking talking, Steve", Javi snarls; now his glare is all for his partner. "Shut up…", though the last words didn't sound even half as convincing. And Steve catches the crack. He catches sight of every tiny piece finally falling apart.

So Steve brings Javi closer into an embrace, and Javi is quick to push back instantly. Steve just doesn't let go. He's keeping Javi in a tight grip until the agent stops the fight; his shoulder's sagging and only the uneven breathing gives him away. "She will pull through", Steve states quickly, trying to keep his own emotions at bay. "You want to know why?", Javi only grips the back of Steve's jacket tighter: "Because she would crawl from hell itself for you. Because she loves you and she hasn't told you yet, and we both know our tiny girl is a farce".

And then he's back in your apartment. And he's walking back to you after using the bathroom when his eyes catch a glimpse of the picture. Multiple. But all of them have the same boy in them. Big eyes. Curly hair. And he's so similar to you. It's almost disturbing. Javi had seriously considered that you had a child there and then, and he knows it is noisy, but he snatches one of the frames as he heads back to the living room.

You're sprawled out like a cat on your sofa. Soft music is playing. Dirty dinner plates are still on the table. You're humming under your breath. Fuck, Javi doesn't remember the last time he heard someone hum, and a part of him wanted to keep that moment just like that. A part of him had shouted at him not to say anything, but… "Who's this?", the words slip past his lips, and your head instantly turns towards him. And he should have listened to his gut because the lazy smile fell from your face and you suddenly looked so small. So fragile.

"Michael", you mutter as you step closer to Javi, taking the frame from his hand, fingers skimming over the image frozen in time, "My brother. The only couple pictures I have left". The frown suggests that it's something that still hunts you. That still aches. "You don't see your family much?", Javi asks as if he can judge, as if he flies back home often or even calls. Yeah, no. Javi avoids home like the plague, and then the said home returns the favor. "Nothing to visit", the sad chuckle that follows your words strikes Javi.

"I'm…", he starts, but you had already turned towards him. "Sorry? You pity me. You're surprised I'm still here? Or maybe you're disappointed?". Javi crosses the distance between you and quickly catches both of your elbows. "No…", his words die down, and you're laughing again, just this time your eyes are full of tears. You sure?", you say bitterly before dropping your hands over your face, salty tears still streaming down the side of your face.

"Y/n… carino…", And Javi doesn't remember the last time he called out to someone in such a soft manner. He doesn't remember the last time his own heart dropped to his heels for someone. And you're crying, and Javi can't stand it. Because you shouldn't be, because instantly he wants to make it better. "Hey, come here; you're not alone. Shh…" And equally as much, Javi almost doesn't know how to comfort you because Javi never does that. It's always others who do the comforting, who splatter encouraging words.

"But I am. I'm so alone", The sob that slips past your lips makes Javi close his eyes for a moment because the shared agony of it rips through his own heart. Javi wraps his arms tighter around you, fingers running through your hair as you wrap yourself around his neck. Holding onto him as if your whole world now depends upon him. If Javi chose to move, you would crumble. Crumble beyond repair. "You have me", he mutters, but then the anxiety of commitment kicks in and he finds himself adding, "And Steve, and Connie", he doesn't mention Carillo. At first, he's not sure why his tongue doesn't twist to say it, but does it matter? It would be for selfish reasons one way or another.

"They killed them", you rasp out in between catching your breath. Javi pushes away the strands of hair that are now stuck to your face because of the tears. "Dad fucked up a deal, so they came to butcher them all in front of my eyes", you continue, looking up at Javi with desperation. Did no one believe you when you told them what happened? Did anyone ever listen? "I hid in the closet and then…", another sob slips past your lips. "I just saw him, purple face, big eyes, they choked…", and you crumble, legs bucking beneath you, but Javi is there with you. Bringing you even closer as he sways from side to side. Your nails are digging into his flesh, but he doesn't care. Whatever he can do to ground you and calm you down, Javi is willing to do it. "I've got you, carino", he mutters, pressing his lips to your temple, trying to keep his composure, to keep strong because now you need him. And he'll crawl out of his own grave if he had to, just to make sure that you are okay.

"Sir", the voice that doesn't fit the memory cuts through his head. "Sir", it rings, and Javi snaps his eyes open. An elderly woman is standing in front of him, her hand braced on his shoulder, as she attempts to wake him. "It's past 3 a.m., and the visiting hours are long over", she starts, and Javi is once again filled with rage. Try, he thinks, you just try to walk me out. "They transformed her into room 337; I can let you in. You can rest there", Javi blinks a couple of times, convinced that he had heard it wrong. It's against the hospital rules, and the confusion on his face tells the lady that he's trying to find a catch for this.

"Is your name by any chance Javi?", she asks right as Javi stands up. How does she know? He had said his name when he handed you to the sea of doctors and nurses. They had marked his name for the blood transfer, but he hadn't seen this woman in any of the rooms. "Miss. Y/L/N had called out for Javi a couple of times", and he has to both keep himself up so he doesn't sink to his knees and stop himself from running down the hallway. Are you awake? Have you been fully conscious? Why were you calling for him? Is it because you hate him? Or do you want him to be there?

"She's stable; however, with a blood loss like that, I'm sure she will be out for a couple of days", the lady says, and Javi only nods. He probably looks like a maniac there. He is barely managing to stay still, trying not to overstep as he constantly slows his pace to match the nurses.

She walks straight through the door, but Javi halts. You're a door away. You're there, and he will get to see you. But can he see you? Will he be able to look at you without hating the whole world? And most importantly, himself? Yet he does, and you are in there. Still pale as a sheet of paper, but it's only the wires and IVs that surround you. Someone had neatly brushed your hair, and it's not an absolute tangled mess like it was in the emergency room. No, it almost looks like you're lying in… Javi closes his eyes.

"You can talk to her. She should be able to hear you. It'll calm her anxiety and give her something to hold onto", the woman either doesn't notice that Javi is slowly losing it or is great at hiding it as she checks over the machines before turning back to him. "Just catch some sleep yourself, son", she says softly, patting his shoulder just like she did in the hallway. "The emergency button is here, but her heartbeat is strong and steady. I doubt you'll need to use it", that soothes some of Javi's worries, but there are so many of them that it almost feels like nothing. Javi keeps standing till the nurse slips out the door, and then he reaches for the chair, pulling it closer to your bed.

"Hey", Javi mutters, his fingers carefully brushing over your hand. There are so many needles and things poking you that he's almost hesitant to do so. So scared of hurting you more. Making it worse than it already is. Javi let his eyes settle on your face, then down to your chest, watching it move up and down. Up and down. Up and down. Steady. He brings your knuckles closer to his lips. There's still blood under your nails, but he doesn't care. "I miss you already", Javi admits, waiting for an answer he knows he won't get. He nestles his head on your legs, takes your hand into his, and just hopes.

#javi pena x reader #javier pena x reader #javi pena x you #javier pena x you #javier pena imagine #narcos imagine #narcos x reader #narcos x you #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you

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joelsmochi · 1 year

Text

Desperation - Javier Peña

Plot — [ofc] Jackie is visiting Columbia for a short getaway and meets a man who can satisfy her…In more ways than one.

Part 2 here.

Warnings: horrible spanish sentences + grammar (bare with me y’all i haven’t studied in a few years), speaking of spanish there is quite a bit of spanish conversation in (mostly in the beginning but some during the… act), some typos (edit: i did a lazy proofreading) smut (MINORS DNI beyond this point).

Smut Warnings: this will be disgustingly long and descriptive and perhaps a little awkward to read so this is your warning now, cocky!Javi (as expected), unprotect piv (it's a story y’all std’s don’t exist in this timeline), choking, hair pulling, light (?) slapping (out of praise), squirting, good girl bombs, daddy bombs, oral (f & m receiving), LOADSSSS of pet names, anal + (judge me 🤗), drinking + tipsy sex, vaginal creampie, possible ooc javier?

Word count: 6.9k (i didn’t mean to i just couldn’t stop writing😭)

translations will be in purple at the end of paragraphs ! so the format will be a lil ugly but ik not everyone speaks spanish + if my spanish is worse than i remember/could figure out then i want y’all to know what i’m trying to say without having to scroll up and down [BIG SORRY]

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ✮ ✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚

The warm air is thick tonight, pooling a layer of sweat over Jackie's skin as she swings her hips around to the music. Her newly made friend, Angie, startles her by yanking her arm and pulling her from the middle of the bar.

“Jackie, miras!” Angie exclaims. Jackie finds a smile playing on her lips at how pretty Angie sounds saying the most simple words; she admired how beautiful the language is, and how much more precious it sounds coming from the Colombian woman. “Este es el hombre del que te hablé,” she says while pointing to a blonde-haired man. Jackie’s lips curl downward as she examines him, impressed with his leather jacket and choice of haircut. “Se llama Steve Murphy. Èl es muy, muy lindo, ¿verdad?”

[Jackie look! // That's the man I was telling you about. // His name is Steve Murphy. He is very cute, right?]

“Meh,” Jackie mumbles, “No es mi tipo, pero… Tú y èl, veo, pero ¿conmigo? No.” She looks from Angie back to this Steve Murphy, suddenly seeing a man just as well dressed by his side, but much more her type. Dark hair, tan skin, and pants that give her flashbacks to the 1970s (which made her all the more interested as hers were as well). He seems a little more brooding than the other man, but Jackie isn’t one to back down from a challenge especially when it consists of getting a fine man like this one’s number. “Angie… ¿Quién es el hombre en la derecha?” She wonders while looking at her friend.

[He's not my type. I can see you and him, but me? No. // Angie, who is the man on the right?]

“Hmm,” Angie mumbles. “No sè. ¿Por qué?” She drunkenly giggles. “¿Crees que él lindo?”

[I don't know, why? You think he's cute?]

Jackie scoffs, batting her eyes back at the man whom she makes eye contact with. She maintains the stare they are sharing while she responds with, “No. No lindo. Él es sexy.”

[Not cute. Sexy.]

“Well,” Angie urges in English which catches Jackie's attention once more. “Go say hola, perra.” Jackie laughs at her friend’s persistence and stumbles over her heels after being gently pushed. The man watches her strut over to him and his friend, eyeing her outfit up and down and making the mental note that she’s not dressed like the average Colombian woman.

[perra = bitch]

American? He wonders.

“Buena,” she says after reaching their bubble. “¿Cómo estáis?”

[Hello, how are you (guys)].

“Somos bien,” the dark-haired man says with a cheeky smile, “¿y tú?” Jackie watches his eyes follow the curvy lines of her legs and hips. He finds the way she bats her eyes a huge turn-on for a reason he cannot explain and he almost falls to his knees when she sends him a more-than-obvious flirty smile.

[We're good, you?]

“Mas o menos,” she shrugs earning a curious looks from the two men, “me sentiría mejor si me dijeras que eres soltero.”

[More or less... I'd feel better if you told me you were single.]

“What’s she saying?” Steve asks with a questionable expression.

“She’s flirting with me, shut up,” Javi utters out of the side of his mouth. Jackie threw him off of his own game, making him feel slightly incompetent but it intrigues him nonetheless. Although he finds her formality a bit strange. “Eres Americana?”

[Are you American?]

“Sí. Mi español es poco formal, claro… Espero que encuentre lindo… Mister.” Jackie sends the tall man a sensual look through her eyelashes, watching his partially exposed chest rise and fall with anticipation. She hopes that maybe he will find her lack of cultural exposure cute or funny enough to keep him intrigued which works wonders on him — he chuckles at her words, admiring her confidence despite the jab he made.

[Yes, my Spanish is a bit formal, of course... I hope you find it cute.]

Why is she here, he thinks, vacation? School? Family? Relocating? He wants to—needs to know more.

“Sí, sí. Eres formal, mm-hmm, pero no limitada,” he adds before offering her a cigarette. She takes it gently and he swears she has the touch of an angel, though he is already a bit tipsy so he might just be being dramatic.

[Yes, true. You are formal, but not limited.]

“Cómo se llama, Papacito?” She daunts seductively after he lights her cigarette.

[What's your name?]

“Me llamo Javi, y el es Steve.”

[My name is Javi and this is Steve.]

“Ah-huh, my friend thinks you’re sexy,” she says to the blonde man. She raises an eyebrow as if she misspoke. “Well, cute. She used the word cute.”

Steve obviously blushes, but slaps his hands on his knees and shakes his head bashfully. “Lo siento, but I am a happily married man.”

[lo siento = i'm sorry]

She feels a bit saddened for her friend but Angie always bounces back fast, so Jackie turns to find her friend dancing in the crowd on a random guy; laughing she looks back at Steve and shrugs. “Looks like she’s already forgotten. She knew you by name though, you come ‘round here often?”

“Yeah, sometimes,” is all he says. He senses the tension between his colleague and Jackie but notices the tension in Javi's pants a little more.

Jackie squints at Steve for his shortness but regains focus on her original intention. She raises her head to watch Javi fold his glasses into his shirt pocket, trying her best to not drool over the prodding veins in his arms or the peak of hair on his chest. Instead, she maintains eye contact (with the occasional glance at his lips) and takes a small step closer to him.

“May I pull you away from your friend?” She asks, just barely speaking above the music. Javi catches the briefest glance into the gaping space between her cleavage and chest, in fact, the glance is so brief that Jackie doesn’t even notice it. He begins to think about what her nipples looked like as well as if she has any hidden tattoos anywhere and if she did, then what would they look like? He can see she’s not one to wear a bra so that makes him wonder if she’s not wearing panties either.

“Only if you tell me your name,” he says hoarsely.

“Jackie. Jackie.”

Jackie Dawns, what a pretty name, Javi thinks, very fitting for the beauty standing in front of me.

She catches Javi looking towards Steve for permission to which Steve doesn’t give him much of a reaction or response, just a sly smirk. Growing impatient, she grabs one of Javi’s hands and pulls him gently. “Only for an hour or two,” she promises.

Well, the hour or two slipped away pretty fast and the sun is beginning to set painting the sky oranges and pinks. The pair can’t seem to get enough of each other, it certainly rolled Steve’s eyes more times than anybody could count, who, by the way, is beginning to regret not bringing his wife as they had originally planned. Watching Javi and Jackie dance together, whether it was slow or fast or romantic or sexual, makes Steve realize how little he has done to show his admiration for his beloved spouse so he gets up from his seat after paying for their drinks and walks towards the tipsy couple.

“Hey, Javi, I’m gonna get home to the misses,” he says in his real thick accent.

Jackie notices the time on a clock nearby, immediately feeling guilty. “Sorry, I musta let the time slip,” she says.

But Steve shakes his head. “No, don’t apologize. Real quick though, when a lady becomes your wife does she still want flowers?” Jackie squints at him again but with more annoyance laced throughout her features. Steve takes that as a yes and nods stiffly. “Flowers it is.”

“Get her flowers she actually likes, not roses just because they're a classic.”

Steve stiffens up even more. “I—…” Guilt riddles his face and Jackie gives him an incredulous look, basically calling him a lousy husband without actually saying it. “I’m gonna go now, uh… See you in the office Monday? All right, bye Javi.” He gives Jackie wide eyes indicating either annoyance or intimidation. “Jackie.”

Javier laughs at Steve as he walks out before turning back to you. “I think that’s the first time I’ve seen him speechless,” he laughs.

“Dumbass doesn’t know his wife’s favorite flower,” Jackie as well. She places her hands on his chest and he smiles down at the red nail polish on her long nails. “See something you like?” She flirts after they’ve begun swaying to the music again, both of them noting the Phil Colins song Another Day in Paradise playing.

“Your nails are pretty, just like you,” he practically coos. She touches her nose to his warm one and smiles big and wide. “So… What are you doing here in Colombia?”

“I could ask you the same,” she says, “but because you asked first… I am in medical school.” Javi gives her an impressed look which bothers her, but not for any reasons he could control. “I hate it. It’s not what I wanna do.” She slowly puts space between their faces so that she can look at the specks of sunspots barely showing along his cheekbones.

He shrugs. “So why do it?”

She scoffs and looks down for a moment. Her nails tangle together behind his neck and her cheeks blush at the way he looks at her. “Because my parents would cut me off if I didn’t go.”

“So?”

“You say it like it’s simple.”

“It is.”

She slaps his chest playfully. “Stop using that tone, it’s rude.”

He chuckles. “Sorry, honey.”

Jackie finds herself smiling even harder at the nickname wishing she could hear the way it rolled off of his tongue a hundred more times before the night ends. He has a way of speaking that makes her feel like a teenager in lust again. She feels his hands dip an inch below her waist, and if she could take him on one of the counters nearby she would have her way with him. Those sultry brown eyes of his are the only thing she is praying to see for the rest of the night, though she is willing to sacrifice looking at him if it meant him fucking her through an orgasm.

But she played it cool. A little too cool for Javi’s taste.

“What d’you mean? It’s simple?” She asks.

He wishes he wasn’t so nonchalant about it, knowing good and damn well it’s not that simple most of the time. But he knew what he truly meant. “You won’t get to enjoy any pieces of your life if you ask for permission for everything.”

Jackie is amused, her expression not hiding it either. “Oh, this is coming from the grown-ass man who was about to ask his coworker to dance with a pretty girl?! That is rich.”

Javi takes the hit with stride, using her laughter as a reason to bring his lips to her ear. “You know if you like asking for permission so much… I can make you beg.” He pulls back to look into her now idle eyes. “All you gotta do is ask,” he teases in a whisper.

“What kinda car you drive?”

“Uh…” He is confused by the change in topic. “Cherokee, why?”

“Bigger than mine.” She slowly steps away from him to the door nearby. “I hope that’s okay, Mister?” She pouts at him, waiting for a few seconds.

He pushes the door open and walks behind her. “It certainly is, honey.” They reach his car and he leans her up against the trunk door, hanging his head over hers. “The sunset looks beautiful,” he speaks quietly, gently tracing his calloused fingers over her smooth jawline.

“You’ll look even more beautiful once I get you moaning my name,” she mumbles against his lips.

While he certainly did not doubt her abilities, he wanted to appear stronger than that. “Oh, mi amor, I’ll get you speechless before I’m done with you so then you can beg me to stop.” She shuffles her legs a few times to relieve some tension on her clit, to no avail of course. She’s hoping he’s not all bark and lives up to the aura he gives off. Javi noticing her prolonged silence smirks and gives her lips a sensual kiss. “Looks like I’ve already done it.”

Rolling her eyes, she can’t contain her smile. “Your dick better be good, you little cocky smart ass.” He laughs and opens the passenger door for her, but she just lets herself into the back seat. “Drive somewhere secluded.” He obeys without question, and after only about five minutes of driving he sees her moving in the backseat but before he can process what’s happening she sits her panties over his jean zippers.

He adjusts his rearview mirror so that it’s down on the seductress and sees her eyes reflecting a devilish grin his way. Then he sees her hand trail over her slit, watching her pretty red nails work wonders around her folds to get her juices flowing. He can see that as desperate as she is to please herself she is saving her most sensitive bit for him. His foot presses harder on the gas pedal causing her to giggle; he looks at her reflection again and watches her spread her slit open for him to see. He lets out a heavy sigh and palms his stiff length through his tightening jeans.

Javi makes it to a secluded part of a beach not too long after, wasting no time getting in the back seat next to Jackie; he moans loudly when he presses his lips to hers in hunger, loving the way she clings to him so perfectly. He lays her on her back and gently curls his nails over the outside of her thighs making her whimper. He savors the taste of tequila on her tongue and the smell of her Love’s Baby Soft perfume.

As their tongues tangle together Jackie reaches between their heavy bodies for his belt buckle. He lifts his hips a little to give her more room to work with, but she fumbles over her own eager hands regardless. “You’re an impatient little thing, aren’t ya?” He laughs over her chin once his pants are unzipped. “Gonna have to teach you some manners.”

“Oh yeah?” Jackie quips, Javi responding with a hum. “How you gonna do that?” She coos while palming him beneath his briefs.

“I can show you better than I can tell you, pretty girl.” She moans and giggles at his response, throwing her head back on the seat and running her hands up his back just to dig her nails into his shoulder blades, dragging them down his back. He hisses at the pain but chuckles regardless. He smacks this side of her thigh a little sharper than he intended, but she doesn’t seem to mind. “I was gonna be a gentleman about it, but—“

“No,” she interrupts, “I want you to use me.” Her nerves are becoming needier and needier, making her feel antsy and more submissive. She doesn’t want just to fuck anymore, she wants to feel controlled and tamed which is out of character for her. Javier normally doesn’t mind obtaining a dominant stance, but he worried he wouldn’t be able to fulfill her particular desires. She seems much more in tune with this realm than he is and the thought of not being able to please her enough crosses his mind more than once…

Much like her, however, he doesn’t back down from a challenge.

“You want me to use you?” He whispers.

“Yes.”

“Is that it? Huh?” He slides his trembling hands up her stomach to her chest to her neck, gripping it tightly causing her to choke and cough a little bit, but the smile on her face tells him to not remove his hand so he tugs at her neck to lift her face to his. “Is this what you want?” He groans. She only nods, feeling out of breath from her excitement, but grips a little tighter making sure he isn’t hurting her. “Use your words.”

“Yes.” She tries to kiss him but he pulls back feeling unsatisfied with her shortness, urging her to use her words once more. “Yes, Javi, te deseo mucho. Dentro de mi.”

[I want you a lot. Inside of me.]

“Mm, mm-hmm,” he moans finally releasing her neck, “Not yet.”

“What?” She exclaims, propping herself up on her elbows. She watches him untuck the rest of his shirt before sliding down to her naval, kissing it tenderly and sending a devious smirk her way. She jumps at the ticklish feeling, giggling out of embarrassment which he finds cute. His mustache scratches at her inner thigh where he places his kisses as she constantly bucks her hips upwards in an attempt to get his lips to her clit, succeeding after a minute or two. He forces her hips down onto the seat and glares at her. “Please, please, I’ll be so good if you do this one thing for me.”

“Well,” he says tauntingly, “that’s an offer I just can’t refuse now, is it?” He drags his tongue all around her vulva for a few seconds to see how impatient she grows but to his surprise, she remains pretty steady, so he decides to reward her with a juicy kiss to her clit.

Her body had been begging for stimulation for so long that the single kiss he gives her is enough to eject a loud moan out of her, one that was full of relief. He chuckles at her response and kisses it the same way again, only this time darting his tongue out for a quick second to get a taste of her skin. He doesn’t taste much, so he goes down to her slit, using his thumbs to spread her sopping lips before laying his tongue flat on her entrance and giving her a series of kitten licks; he moans at the combination of saltiness and sweetness, swearing to himself that he can also taste the fruity shots she was taking earlier. The mix of alcohol and hormones coursing through his body has him feeling more pleasure from eating her out than he would have ever expected. He loves the way her hair falls over her eyes, how her hands fondle her breasts and nipples over her shirt to add to her physical experience as well as his visual one, and how gentle but confident she sounds while she pleads for him to keep licking the way he is—all of the little things he normally doesn’t pay attention to just adding up and giving him reasons to keep going.

His lips permanently planting themselves atop her clit so that he can begin sucking on it is what drives her to the edge. She hits the top of her head on the door behind her from how hard she throws her head back, but she ignores the pain. Realistically she has no choice but to ignore it with how rough he is sucking her into his mouth, still managing to maintain some comfort with his slick lips. As the tingles build deeply inside of her clit her fingers go flying to grip the short hairs on his head. She feels layers of sweat pooling on her forehead and her inner thighs, and her nipples perk up indicating her nearing her orgasm. She cries his name louder and louder, before remembering she promised to be good.

She asks, “Can I come? Can I please come?!” He refuses to lift his head up out of not wanting her to lose this feeling, so he just nods eagerly onto her clit while mumbling mm-hmm’s. “Fuck,” she screams, “yes, please, please, please—“ Her pleas are interrupted by air getting caught in her throat when he clit begins to throb.

Javi almost cums at the feeling of her pussy throbbing between his lips so he lifts his hips a little to halt any friction from the seats. He shakes his head up and down to make a grinding motion on her clit wanting her to feel this good for as long as possible. Her thighs tremble around his ears and his scalp begins to sting with how hard she’s pulling; the knots in her stomach only seem to get bigger and she refuses to pull away. Not like he’d let her anyways, that is until his jaw begins to hurt. He comes up to kiss her again not even bothering to wipe his face clean.

“You wanna be used?” He asks against her lips.

“Mm-hmm,” she moans into their kiss.

“Yeah?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“How do you want me to use you, baby?”

“Use my mouth.”

His brows raise and he grins wide while she licks her juices off of his stubbly chin. “Your mouth?”

“Mm-hmm,” she repeats.

“How ‘bout…” He pauses to analyze her facial features, spotting some wet mascara on her cheekbone beneath her fallen curls; he smirks as he knows it from her squeezing her eyes shut so hard from her orgasm. “…You ride me until you’re about to cum… And then you let me fuck that pretty little mouth of yours?” She melts beneath him at his request, fluttering her eyes shut and peppering kisses along his cheeks. “Does that sound good?”

“Oh, yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, daddy,” she corrects. He gives her hip a few love taps, helping her up onto his lap. For the time being neither of them even bother taking his pants off, she just pulls his semi-hard shaft out and traces his warm tip along her folds, sinking onto him slowly. They both gasp the closeness, indulging in the feeling of him stretching her out gently. She pops a hand behind his ear, the other laying flat against his sheened chest. She feels his member twitch and grow harder inside of her, and gives him pleading eyes as she fully sinks him inside of her. “Daddy?”

“Yes, baby?” He encases her face in his clammy palms, adjusting his posture to get more comfortable for her.

“Can I come just one time on you first?”

“No, baby, I told you what I wanted.”

She whines, rolling her eyes. “Just one time, it’ll be so quick—“

“Don’t be stubborn,” he hisses, landing a smack on her ass cheek. He struggles to maintain his composure at how it practically jiggles back into his hand. He smacks it a few more times just to watch her ass move against him, grinning wide at her her body moves. “You said you’d be good for me.” She bites her lip nervously, annoyed at her promise. His dick is now fully hard and he admits, “Your stubbornness is sexy, though.”

She grins bashfully and lifts her hips slowly. “Mmm, I have that effect on you, huh?”

“Sí, mama, me gusta una reto.”

[Yes, mama, I like a challenge.]

“¿Una reto? ¿Qué eso?” She questions as she builds up a steady pace. “A challenge?”

[qué eso = what's that]

“Verdad.” He gently tugs at one of her nipples, memorizing how her discharge feels pooling around the base of his shaft onto his balls. His face contorts when she digs her nail into his chest and feels her walls swell around him.

[Correct.]

He loves the way he fits so perfectly inside of her, the way they both curve into each other is majestic for the pair. She props her feet up onto his thighs and rocks her hips in a grinding motion which makes her pussy feel tighter as he enters and exits repeatedly. His hands grip her hips so tight his knuckles slowly turn white, and he notices that she is out of breath but continues fucking him relentlessly. She had never been so needy for a fuck before; her hair is sticking to the sweat on her forehead, her shirt is clinging to her back, her hips aching from the grip this man has on her — all of these uncomfortable things and all she could think about was riding him as he told her to.

Jackie switches from a grinding motion to bouncing, rounding her shoulders so that her head isn’t hitting the roof. Javier’s fingers find their way to her top to tug some of the buttons loose. He goes to pull it off of her so she moves her arms to make it easier but ends up losing her balance which makes him slip out of her and she nearly falls off of his lap. She laughs at how evident her being tipsy is.

“You okay?” He asks after lifting her back up, placing a few kisses along her newly exposed collarbone.

Giggling some more she nods. “I didn’t realize how much I was leaning on you.”

He smiles, pulling her hands behind her waist and slouching himself further down after putting his aching cock back inside of her. “Let me help you out,” he says, his tone hinting at yet another dare. Locking her arms in place he begins thrusting up into her heat going well beyond her g-spot, but never too far. Her walls begin to spasm against his length and he grunts seemingly angrily. “You better not cum.”

Insistent, she shakes her weak head. “I’m not, I’m not, I promise.”

“Good girl.” He raises one hand up to smack her cheek lightly; she buries her cheek into his palm afterward to signal she wants him to make it feel better which he does. She holds his forearm with her locked hands, scratching at the skin nicely just to feel as much of him as possible. “Cógeme, cariño, ¡cógeme como un rey!”

[Fuck me, honey/love/darling! Fuck me like a king!]

She moans, starts bouncing on him again earning the freedom of her arms, and touches her forehead to his. “Eres el rey de mi mundo, Javi.”

[You are the king of my world, Javi.]

He sweeps her lips up into a kiss as if he were trying to swallow the words as fast as they had come out. Despite his typical confidence with women, he must admit that no one has ever made him feel the way she does. He likes the excitement and the praise, hell her looks alone were getting him rock-hard earlier. He can’t even respond with words, he just reaches his arms around to grab handfuls of her ass to bring her in closer while still kissing her sweetly. Jackie feels the pressure inside of her growing again intensify when Javi uses the pads of his fingers to rub tiny circles on her clit. She claws at his neck and shoulders to draw out the feeling as long as possible without cumming again and before she knows it she hops off of him and kneels between the small space of his legs and the center console.

She practically shoves whatever she can fit of his cock into her mouth, gagging when his tip tickles the back of her throat. His fingers tangle themselves in her hair and he pushes her head down carefully, craving the feeling of her throat closing around his dick. She bobs her head up and down occasionally stopping to take him in her throat whenever she can; a few tears fall from her eyes after gagging so many times so she pulls his length out of her mouth to stroke it with her spit-covered hands and props her mouth on his balls, sliding her tongue around every inch she could reach.

“Oh, fuck, babygirl,” he moans, “you’re doing such a good job… Yeah, you’re doing so good right now, cariño.” His muscles tense and he flinches when her thumb rubs around his tip so she goes to put him back in her mouth but he stops her. He stares at the strings of spit mixed with her precum all over her chin before enveloping her in a sloppy kiss. He moans at the taste of his cock mixed in with her juices and licks her lips much like he did her clit earlier. “Will you lay down for me right here?” He coos after wrapping his hand around her jaw, the other holding the back of her head in place. She nods and hums to confirm. “Yeah?” He smacks her cheek and it makes her smile. “You like that, princess?” He smacks her a little rougher this time.

“Yes, baby, I love it,” she says.

“Good…” He pecks her lips and taps her jaw a couple of times. “Lay back right here.” They switch spots so that she’s laying where he was once sitting and he removes his pants and boxers. Although her neck feels a bit stiff from her head being pushed up against the back of the seat she knew that once he fills her up again with his cock the pain wouldn’t even be noticeable. She eyes his thick shaft and tip while he slaps it over the skin of her pussy, her eyes growing wide when he slides the head over her sensitive bud. “You want it, baby?”

Jackie doesn’t even bother trying to come up with something witty or bratty to say, all she can say is yes over and over until he teases her dripping entrance. “Javi, te quiero mucho. I want you to fill me up with your—“ A gasp interrupts her begs of desperation after he slides the tip in slowly. He quickly readjusts his legs and pushes her thighs back so they’re flesh against her stomach. “Fuck,” she drags out, “it’s so fucking big.” He fills her up only halfway which gets her to tighten her legs around his hips in an attempt to push him in deeper but he remains idle and slaps her breast. “Please,” she whispers. After he asks what she wants she answers, “I want you—fuck, I love the way you stretch me out, I wanna feel you deep inside of me, baby.” He barely slides inside of her a little more earning whimpers from either of them but mostly her. “Please,” she begs.

[te quiero mucho = i want you so much (in this context).]

He presses his palm onto her pelvis with fingers pushing into her stomach so that she can feel him in even the deepest parts of her body. She whines out at how deep he goes, thankful he’s doing just enough to not hurt her cervix. She feels an awkward urge to pee but before she can say anything her squirt begins to splash everywhere.

“Look at that!” Javi boasts, not even thinking to stop his rhythm. “My God, girl, you are just full of surprises, aren’t ya?” Profusely blushing at his compliment she puts her hand down to signal she needs a break, but he just frowns at her and goes, “Move your hand.”

She decides to defy him and tries to wiggle out of his grip to get a reaction out of him. “No,” she quips with a grin.

“I said…” He slams her hand above her head and buries his cock deep inside of her. “Move your fucking hand.”

She sarcastically pouts. “Awe. What are you gonna do? Punish me?”

In the blink of an eye, his warm hand is wrapped around her neck. “I can do that.”

But still, she doesn’t let up, wondering how much she can get away with. “How you gon’ do it? Stick it in my ass?”

He incredulously chuckles and ponders on whether or not this is just an extremely vivid dream he’s having. He decides speaking would just egg her on to push his buttons even more so he pulls out, lines his tip up with her ass, and pushes it in slowly. She gasps with alertness in her expression—she didn’t think he would really do it. Most guys she asked didn’t, and if they did they asked if she was sure.

Not Javi. Not tonight. Not after the shitty fucking week he had. He took this woman’s confidence as a sign to take what he wants as long as the offer was on the table.

That’s what makes her even more aroused.

Watching his spit drip from his lip straight down to his dick before he slides deeper inside of her Jackie finds herself rubbing her clit and admiring the man above her. A man that knows what he wants, she thinks, and takes it? I like him. She knows the chances of them ever seeing each other again were slim to none, but she’ll always remember him.

Javi. Dark and unruly curls, soft brown eyes with harsh wrinkles surrounding them, broad but slender shoulders and calloused hands that touch her so gently, and a voice so deep it nearly rumbles inside his chest.

She bites her lip trying to ignore the pain she feels. Instead, she focuses on his mannerisms: his chest rising and falling while he slides his length inside her tight hole. The way he will pause to glance up at her ensuring her comfort. He feels her tighten around him so many times he was sure it must have hurt but every time he looks at her he sees her pleading for more with her pretty and low eyes. He manages to get about two-thirds of the way in before it becomes too tight for him.

“That feel good?” He questions, pursing his lips anxiously after she says yes. He spits a couple more times to help relax her muscles, but he notices her eyebrows furrow. Placing a few kisses on her forehead he tells her, “I got you, honey. Tell me what you need.”

“I’m fine, it’s just been a while,” she chuckles nervously. “That’s good!” She squeaks when he settles at a steady pace. He smiles down at her and slips his tongue into her open mouth, moaning at the sound of her whines. He rubs his thumb over her clit and fights her tongue with his own, letting her into his mouth eventually. She moans at the taste of her still on his lips, digging her knees into his sides and tugging at the ends of his hair. Her wetness overflows onto his cock helping lubricate her entrance. She tightens around him to add more stimulation for him and that causes him to collapse atop her body. His body is overwhelmed but he can’t get enough of how dirty she is by letting him have her—all of her. “Quiero hacerte amor con mi culo, papi,” she shouts. “Mi cuerpo te pertenece.”

[I want to make love to you with my ass, daddy. My body belongs to you.]

“Tu español suena mejor con mi reata dentro de ti, ¿sí o no?” He grips her ass to lift her hips higher, to make her more level with him.

[Your Spanish sounds much better when my dick is inside of you, no?]

Jackie trembles in his arms, crying out at the feeling of constantly being stretched out by him. “Claro, claro que sí,” she screams breathlessly. She reaches to grab the door nearby as she doesn’t want to scratch him and her fingers wipe away some of the thick fog on his car windows. She glances outside and notices how dark it has gotten, but she didn’t want him to stop edging himself inside of her. She sees how much he loves being in her mouth, her pussy, and now her ass, she just doesn’t know how much more pounding she can take.

[claro = of course; claro que sí = of course it does (in this context).]

Sweat drips down from his temples to his jawline from the thick air inside of the car and the amount of restraint it’s taking him to not finish inside of her ass. He isn’t sure where she wants it, so before he cums for her he pulls out so suddenly it takes her a few seconds to realize he’d done it. “Where do you want it, babygirl? Hmm?” He whispers against her ear.

“Hmm?” She questions.

They nibble and kiss each other enjoying the small break. “My cum. Where do you want me to cum?”

“Wherever you want,” she speaks strongly with a shrug of her shoulders. “Didn’t I just tell you that my body belongs to you, daddy?”

His eyes roll beneath his heavy eyelids. “If you had to choose…” He says regaining his composure (or what was left of it).

“If I had to choose?” Jackie grabs his dick and lines it back up with her vagina, forcing her hips forward to push his tip inside of her. “My pussy.”

He likes her answer so he just presses the rest of his dick inside of her. “Mm, I’m thinking right…” He rubs the deepest parts of her with his swollen shaft. “Here.” Her nipples harden at the feeling of him grinding himself against her walls and the stubbly hair on his pelvis tickles her clit enough to elicit a few moans from her. “You’re still so goddamn tight for me, my fucking God.” She clenches even harder around him at his little praises, telling him thank you and littering kisses all around his neck and shoulders. “Sweetheart, if you wanted I would fuck you every day.” At last, he pumps in and out of her, telling her, “You’ve been such a good girl for me tonight… You anything else you want me to do—do for you?” He grips her ass even harder, holding off his nearing orgasm as long as possible.

Her fatigued eyes barely open to look up at him, and she sloppily pushes her wet baby hairs out of her face. “I ju—oh, I just want to feel your cum.”

“Yeah?”

She cups his face in her hands lovingly with a persuasive smile on her lips. “I want you to empty your balls inside of me.”

“Oh, fuck.” His face drops into the curve of her neck.

She feels his cock twitch inside of her and it encourages her to keep talking. “I want you to fucking use me, use my pussy to cum. Yes!”

He buries himself as deeply as possible for a few thrusts, and she feels him pouring his seed inside her. Their moans and pleads mixing in the air is just enough to get one final, but short orgasm. Nothing near as powerful as before but an accomplishment for her nonetheless. He pushes his shoulders up and off of her to give their warm bodies a sense of space, but he fails to stay up for long and lands right back on her chest once again which gets a tired laugh out of her.

After a short while, he pulls out and spreads her shaky legs apart to watch his cum slowly pour out from between her wet lips. Admiring how pretty her messy body looks he leans down to place a warm kiss on her clit one last time. She flinches at the feeling but remains still in her position. She rests her eyes and runs a hand over her stomach.

He remembers that he has some napkins in his glove compartment, reaching for them and then carefully cleaning her up before he cleans himself. He sees how much more worn out she seems than him so he helps her move to give him space beside her, then twists her legs into his lap. He grabs his cigarettes from the car floor along with a light; he pops one in his mouth and hands another to her.

The pair are silent for about five minutes as neither of them feel the need to speak immediately to fill the air. They want to enjoy their highs and prolong it with nicotine. After they smoke up half their cigarettes and air out the car a bit by rolling a window down an inch or two Javi finds himself the first to break the silence.

“¿Cómo estás ahora?”

[How are you doing now?]

“Muy, muy bien, querida. Thank you for being so gentle with me.”

[querida = love/dear/darling]

It takes him a moment to realize that despite the domination she was seeking from him she still wanted to be cared for. “Of course, sweetheart. You don’t need to thank me.”

“Mm,” she groans before tossing her cigarette out of the window just before he does the same, “I know that, but you’re a man who deserves all the praise.” He smiles at the comment, reaching a hand between her hair and jawbone. “You never answered my question… Why are you in Columbia?”

“Work, confidential bullshit.”

She reaches for his chin to give it a small pinch. “I’m sure you’re amazing.” He scoffs and shakes his head. “Come ‘er.” They move so that he is lying between her legs and his head is resting on her chest.

“Hey, Jackie?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s your favorite flower?”

She laughs loudly at this and plays with his hair while she thinks of her response. “Tulips. I love tulips.”

“Tulips, eh?”

“Don’t be surprising me at my job with some damn flowers now.”

He pops his head up defensively. “I’d have to know where you worked to do that… Where do you work?”

They both laugh and she gives him a tender kiss. “I actually don’t work right now, I’m living off of trust fund money.”

“Ah, where do you live?”

She frowns seemingly offended. “I am not telling you where I live after only knowing you a day!” He can see through her bullshit easily. She wants to see him again, she’s just being cautious. Not like he blamed her for it, but he found her attempt at lying cute.

#javier pena imagine #narcos smut #narcos imagine #javier pena #pedro pascal is daddy #javier pena smut #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal #javier peña #narcos #javier peña narcos #javier peña smut

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ithebookhoarder · 1 year

Note

Javier Peña req (and Steve as bestie). Y/n is their partner and is feeling extremely burnt out; running on empty, coffee, cigarettes and not much else. She’s barely sleeping or eating and constantly has a tight chest and racing heart. They both know something is up with her but she just shrugs it off until one day, Javi is out on a raid and she reaches her breaking point. Steve manages to get her home but can’t reach Javi until he gets back to the embassy etc. Also, please could you throw in a little Carrillo cause😍

Burned Out (Javier Peña x F!Reader)

A/N: I’ve missed Narcos and my DEA boys, so thank you for this prompt, whoever sent this in. I really appreciate it. I’ve been in a bit of a slump recently with writing for this blog, so it’s great to have something to focus on and pour myself in to - hope you enjoy it!

Warnings: Swearing, smoking, alcohol, reference to depressive / self destructive behaviour, description of a panic attack, mild smut, canon-typical violence, death, reference to drugs / overdosing.

Masterlist

You knew exactly when it started. When you began to feel yourself beginning to sink downwards into the quicksand that was your life.

It was a bad day… well, a worse day, if you were being honest, given that life in general in Bogota was hard and full of bad days that left you feeling numb inside. Whereas you were normally able to banish the darkness by spending time with the friends you had collected since your arrival to the city, not even Javi’s gentle kisses or Steve’s dirty jokes or Connie’s homemade deserts could do the trick.

The day had been bad for many reasons.

One, you’d lost a contact with direct links to Escobar, that you’d spent weeks working on.

Two, you had lost them in a drive-by shooting that had killed not only them but countless civilians too.

Three, some of your asshole colleagues decided to spill coffee all over your files meaning you were forced to work late to re-type them up for a briefing the following morning. Even though you had got it done, you knew you had likely missed some details, the ink far too smudge to even begin to try and understand what had previously been written.

However, that day had only been the start of it. The start of the downwards spiral you found yourself tumbling into.

Sure, the others had noticed there was a change about you. Yet, it wasn’t as if they knew what was causing it or how to fix it.

Javi especially knew what you were like - you were like him after all. Spilling your guts wasn’t your natural reaction to handling things. You kept your emotions bottled up inside of you, cramming more and more in, forcing that lid to remain firmly screwed in place even as the pressure began to build.

And if the lid did threaten to pop off? Well then, you lost yourself in him. In the love that existed between you, and the intimate knowledge you shared of one another. After all, Javi had said it himself, “who needed therapy when you had sex and good whiskey?”

A night of passionate fucking was all it took to take the edge off… to let a little pressure escape, delaying your inevitable eruption… But that was just it; you would erupt. It was inevitable. There was no way on earth you could sustain the relentless routine of long hours spent at work, with coffee doing its best to act as a replacement for your bed.

Hell, you could feel the toll it was taking on you both mentally and physically, from the way your hands shook slightly, to the way your chest felt too tight to breathe sometimes. Then there was the fact your clothes were starting to get baggy, whereas they’d once clung to your frame like they’d been tailored for you.

“Here,” Javi had smiled one afternoon. You could smell the sandwich in his hand before he even set it down on the desk in front of you, accompanied by a packet of chips and a can of your favourite soda. “Grabbed that for you on our way back. Figured you’d forget lunch - again.”

A weak smile tugged at the corner of your lips at the kind gesture. “Thanks, Javi.”

“Anytime, hermosa.” He said it so calmly and easily that you felt your heart skip a beat as you realised how lucky you were to have someone who cared about you so deeply. It was why you made sure to tear a corner off of the sandwich and pop it in your mouth.

The relieved nod Javi granted you told you it was the reaction he’d been waiting for, as he took a step back to let you finish eating and working in peace.

You knew he’d be back to check you’d finished it in a matter of minutes. So, you were quick to chuck the rest of his lunch in the waste paper bin behind you, burying it further under a pile of discarded documents you’d already finished looking through.

It was fine. You’d eat later. Maybe you’d even try and cook dinner for you and Javi… an apology for being so distant lately…

Somehow, despite lacking the gift of prophecy, you knew deep down that that was unlikely to happen. Just as you knew it was unlikely Javi would even make it home tonight. For the last week straight, both he and Steve had been called out on some last minute, late night errands by Carillo - not that you minded all that much.

Not having Javi’s arms to fall into meant you felt less guilty about working late yourself. About only making it back to your empty apartment long enough for a quick shower and a power nap each night.

It was ironic to think of Carillo, though, given that your brief conversations with the Colonel in question had been the closest you’d come to finally releasing some of the hurt and the pain inside of you.

You didn't know what it was about him, but somehow, the Colonel had an ability to draw you out. To make you open up and share things you would never otherwise dream of.

Maybe it was his candour? You’d noticed that about him since you'd started working together; he had a blunt demeanour, saying what he thought regardless of the affect it could have on another person.

Now, it wasn't done with malice, per say, but rather as the result of a man who had the weight of an entire army on his shoulders and an impossible task. He just didn't have the time to bullshit anyone - especially when you both lived in a city full of people all too willing to lie and cheat.

It also came from a weird sense of respect, of seeing people as equals, deserving of the truth just as he expected the same in return. No matter how painful it may be.

Needless to say, it was one of the reasons you'd grown to respect the man - and dare you even say, like.

Still, when he decided to loiter on the other side of your desk, late one night, you felt yourself stiffen, as if suddenly all too aware of every little gesture your body made and what it gave away.

The Colonel missed nothing.

“You look like shit.”

Wow. Don’t beat around the bush.

“Jeez, your wife married a charmer, Colonel,” you scoffed, dragging on your cigarette, sparing him a fleeting glance. “Speaking of, doesn’t she want you back home? Or do you prefer my company that much that you’d rather stand at my desk at 11 o’clock at night?”

“She’s out of the city, visiting her parents,” he rebuffed, clearly not taking the bait as he dropped into the empty seat opposite. In fact, he decided to reach across and steal one of the cigarettes from the packet on your desk, lighting it for himself in a gesture that made it clear he wasn’t going anywhere for now.

“Good for her.”

“Yes, it is. I think time away from this place is good for everyone.”

You could feel the accusation lacing his words, as well as the heat from his continuous stare. “Then why didn’t you go with her? Not enough vacation days?”

He scoffed, a bitter smirk twisting his lips upwards. “You’re funny; I can see why Peña likes you so much. Like calls to like, as they say, even if you try and hide it behind that smile of yours.”

You bit back a laugh. “What can I say? I lucked out in that department and got my Mom’s smile. My sister was not so fortunate. She always had my dad’s features - meaning she looked more often than not like she was sucking on a lemon.”

“This is the sister that died from an overdose, correct?”

“Yes.”

“The anniversary is this week, is it not?”

He asked it so calmly and casually that anyone would have thought he’d asked you what the weather was like outside, or what your favourite record to listen to was.

At least his concern now made sense. It was the kind of detail he would remember, and you were honestly more surprised by the fact it had taken until now for him to bring it up.

He’d probably been itching to ask you about it all day, aware of the date even if your two partners were not. Well, they might have been, but neither had said anything which was your preference if you were being honest. Hence your rapidly cooling demeanour towards your colleague.

“I’m fine, if that’s what you're trying to fish about for, Colonel,” you sighed, staring back down at your desk again in an attempt to dismiss him. “You don't have to worry about me. I’m good. Thanks. So can I get back to work in peace? Or did you have some other question for me?”

Carillo sighed, simply choosing to smoke his cigarette, letting the tension linger along with the steadily growing haze around you both.

He didn't need to say the words aloud; his actions did all the talking for him as he reached over and helped himself to a file off of you desk.

He didn't buy this ‘calm, cool, and collected’ act you were pedalling. Not for a second - something his stare alone gave away, even if he refused to say it. Instead, he chose to read, and work, and smoke along side you so that you would not be alone.

He had his eyes on you... watching and waiting for the moment that your carefully constructed walls came crashing down... the only question was would they crush you in the process?

It was about a month later that the inevitable happened; that you finally hit rock bottom.

It had just been a causal remark that did it, of all things. A casual remark that sent you tipping over the edge.

You had just returned from lunch and hadn’t even sat back down at your desk yet when you noticed that someone was missing.

“Yo, Steve?” you queried, quickly glancing up at the empty seat next to you. “Where did Javi go?”

Now, you couldn't be a hundred percent certain what Steve said next but you knew he’d said something about Carillo, a lead, and a raid ...

“What?”

“I said, Javier went with him,” Steve repeated, staring at you with growing concern. You realised he must have already repeated himself. “What? Why? What is it?”

“Javi went too? He… he’s there? On that raid?”

“Yes, y/n, that’s what I just said - hey! Where you going?”

You didn’t even realise your feet had started moving, not until you heard Steve’s confusion as he yelled after you.

But you didn't stop.

You couldn’t stop, not until you were outside - not until you were far enough from that place that you could actually stop and fucking breathe.

When did it become so hard to breathe?

When had the room become so small?

Why did your mind suddenly feel the need to go to the darkest place possible?

It was just a raid... one of hundreds Javi had gone on since arriving here in the country, just as you had also gone on your fair share. So why was your head suddenly picturing him... lying there... injured, or worse... dead.

The number of bodies you’d stared at, lying in the streets in a macabre tableau that had become all too familiar by now - all part of this fucking job. A job you signed up for, hoping to vanquish the bastards who had taken so much from you and those you loved… yet, every day, it seemed you had failed as more and more innocent people suffered… and to think, that Javi - the man you loved more than anything - who you had neglected terribly to the point you couldn't actually remember the last time you’d woken up next to each other - could be amongst them…

It brought you to your knees.

“Whoah, y/n. Easy. What’s wrong?”

Steve’s voice sounded distant, as if you have been submerged beneath water. Yet, you could tell he was beside you, dropping down onto the kerb before hauling you close. The warmth of his touch was enough to tether you to him, to reality, as everything around you seemed to spin in dizzying circles.

You could feel it as his hands rose, cupping your cheeks, turning your head and trying to get you to look at him.

When you finally did, he could see immediately that your eyes were glassy, like you weren’t really seeing or hearing him.

He knew that look.

“Y/N,” Steve murmured in a soothing voice. “Y/N, look at me. Look at me.”

He paused, waiting until your eyes trained themselves on his face, some of the cloudiness starting to dissipate.

“Good, that’s good. Now breathe. Just breathe,” he instructed, taking a few deep breaths himself to show you how.

It took you a moment or two, but you eventually became fully aware of your surroundings and what your friend was telling you to do.

Following his lead, you took a few shuddering breaths, then a few more. You kept breathing until you could feel the racing of your heart slow and the fear that had felt crippling just moments before begin to ease.

You were exhausted.

Wiping at your face, you tried to banish the tears that had left a salty trail burning down your cheek.

Steve doesn't say anything for a long minute, instead choosing to pull you into his side and light up a cigarette, which he was quick to offer you.

“T... thank you.”

You sat like that for a while... just watching people and cars passing by, smoking like two people on a perfectly ordinary break.

No one bothered to stop and ask you two questions. Hell, no one even shot a glance in your direction, everyone too busy with their own business to stop and give a shit about yours.

So you sat.

And smoked.

And said nothing... not until the cigarette was nothing more than a stub.

Steve was quick to take it from you, before it could burn your fingers. Tossing it aside, it had clearly served its purpose.

He stood and offered you a hand.

His face left no room for debate as he stated calmly, “Come on, I’m taking you home. Now.”

“Come on. A couple more steps, Y/N,” Steve urged, guiding you up the stairs to your apartment.

His hand was warm, firm even, as it pressed against your lower back.

He’d been like this since the moment you’d left the embassy, steering you and hovering over you like he expected you to simply topple over at the slightest breeze.

It was touching, yet irritating all at once - a sentiment you were too busy trying to put one foot in front of the other to even attempt to unpack. You were also just too goddamn tired.

“Here we are.” Steve’s words startled you. “Home sweet home.”

You didn’t remember giving him the keys, but you must have as he opened the door a second later and herded you inside.

There was emotion in your throat - threatening to spill from you. You were holding on by a thread and he knew it. Just as Carillo knew it, and possibly Connie too -

Wait, Connie?

You blinked as you realised that at some point the woman had also entered your home, most likely having been summoned by Steve on the drive home.

You wanted to feel guilty at the thought of her being dragged into your mess, but you were honestly too tired to feel anything other than grateful as she hurried over to you, offering you a cup of what you assumed was tea, as well as two pills.

To help take the edge off, she explained, urging you to take them. Doctor’s orders.

It was impossible to miss the way that they were both staring at each other - sharing anxious glances as you swallowed the tablets and dutifully sipped the tea.

They were worried about you. Hell, you were worried about you, and Javi, and Steve, and everyone else you loved and cared about - that was what had got you in this mess in the first place.

Damn it.

You heard them say as much as you marched yourself to your bedroom, claiming you were going to try and get some rest whilst you waited for news.

If they bought it, you couldn’t tell, but neither protested as you left them.

They simply let you go, allowing you the space and privacy to crawl into your bedroom, bury yourself in the unmade sheets, and lie down for a while. The medication had clearly started to work as you felt heavy... tired...

Lying there, you could hear their voices... faint murmurs drifting down the hall.

You caught only snippets as they tried and failed to keep their voices down, just as your parents had once done when you were just a kid. Still, despite their efforts, you caught enough to know that there was still no word from Javi, or about the raid he went on.

“-called Javi- no reply.”

“Carillo - try again -”

“-worried about her - stressed.”

Eventually, the words began to fade away, replaced instead by your body's sudden need to sleep. It was pointless to fight the drugs now in your system, or the comfort of being wrapped in the bed sheets that still smelled of Javi... not even you were strong enough to fight it as you felt yourself drifting off into sweet oblivion.

"Sweetheart?"

You must have still been dreaming - that was the thought that crossed your mind as you swore you heard Javi's voice.

"Javi?" you moaned, fighting against the grogginess that greeted you as you tried to open your eyes.

Despite the fact it was clearly now dark out, you could easily make out the face in front of you, illuminated from behind by the bedside lamp. The sight was almost angelic - as if some divine being had deigned to answer your prayers and return the love of your life back in to your arms.

“It's ok, I'm here, sweetheart,” Javi purred again, brushing your hair back behind your ear and pulling you close. “I’m right here, ok? In one piece - promise. The raid went off without a hitch. Even snagged ourselves a new asset for you to take a crack at.”

Your eyes shimmered with tears as you quickly burrowed into his chest. You didn't really hear what he was saying, too busy focusing on the fact that he was here to say it at all - here - alive - in your arms.

The reality hit you as you began to let it pour out of you: how relieved you were, how much you loved him. You also grumbled something about fucking telling you when he next decided to run off on a raid without so much as 'goodbye' - else you’d shoot him yourself.

“I’m sorry, carino. I am.”

And you believed him.

"I love you, Javi. So much."

"I love you too," he purred, "and I'm so sorry, I knew you were struggling, but when Steve told me-"

He didn't get to finish whatever the hell he'd been about to say. You didn't let him.

Instead, your lips surged hungrily towards his and as only Javi could, he kissed you back, soft and slow... as if desperate to reassure you through actions alone.

You felt him chuckle into your mouth as you grew impatient, grinding your hips against him in a silent plea for him to fill you. To join you. To bury himself, and the day you'd both had, in a moment of bliss.

It was a special kind of neediness, reserved for just him, and one that was only sated once he had fully joined with you, as one being. Safe. Whole.

Yes, in an ideal world he would have waited until after talking to you to lose himself in such a way. After all, Steve and Connie had filled him in on the troubling turn of events that his absence today had triggered - and he'd be lying if he said the idea didn't scare him shitless, that you had broken down so completely...

He could only thank God that Steve had been there for you - especially when he couldn't be himself.

But he was here now... and you had time to start trying to make sense of this mess. Together. Carillo had assured him of that, informing him in no uncertain terms that you both had the next few days off from work. He didn't want to see either one of you back in the office until you'd begun to sort through the mountain of shit you were buried under.

So, yes. If you wanted to lose yourself for tonight, to use him to forget the world outside for a perfect moment, then he was only too happy to oblige.

He’d wait until the morning to have a proper conversation.

He’d go down and whip you up some breakfast before trying to get you to open up to him about everything that had happened today… about the worries and concerns you’d been keeping locked away inside of you.

Then, after you’d fallen in to pieces in his arms, he could try and start to put you back together again. As a team.

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