the-narwhals-awaken

[the-narwhals-awaken]

actually, I think spiders georg should be counted. just because he's the best at what he does doesn't mean we need to discredit him. he's part of the statistic too

[the-narwhals-awaken]

I cannot express how jarring it was after being raised by a "Porn Addiction Coach" to get into a relationship with a woman and come face to face with the fact that she did actually want me to sexually desire her.

Like, in Evangelical Purity Culture, male desire was basically poison. It was a threat. It was this constant temptation that would destroy everything. And even after leaving, in the sort of queer, feminist spaces i spend most of my time in that wasn't something that pretty much anyone was spending time actively dissuading me from feeling.

But my desire is good. It's not something that I'm being accepted in spite of. It's a positive thing. It's a bonus. Not even just vanilla stuff, all the stuff I'd convinced myself were these weird terrible desires that were shameful to have.

It honestly took me over a decade to fully accept that. To stop dissociating during sex and confront that I was, in fact, being a massive perv and that was fantastic and preferable and that I could accept that into my self-image without shame or self hatred.

But it's important to do. It's important to leave relationships that don't welcome that part of you. To know that your sexuality is valuable and valid and worth owning and celebrating. Because the alternative is just...not being. Either existing as yourself and repressing the part of your identity that is sexual or allowing that sexuality to exist but turning off your self while it does.

[the-narwhals-awaken]

the majority of droids don’t actually have much in the way of personality/sentience

but spending too much time around Skywalkers™ does funny things to droids

the Skywalkers so strongly believe that Droids Should Be People, Actually, that it becomes true, and because they Make It True, their belief has never been proved wrong

[the-narwhals-awaken]

really enjoying this series

[the-narwhals-awaken]

something you said has been on my mind for a while - "kink is not inherently sexual". good faith! I don't understand that at all, could you explain it a bit?

This post is educational, hooray! Extensive discussion of kink under the cut. Nothing explicitly sexual is described in detail.

Please note that in this post, I use the terms top and Dom/me interchangeably. This is because I personally identify as a "top" and not a Dom. Some communities draw sharp lines between these two terms, and it's useful to make sure that you're using the same definition as other people when you're talking. Some people use "top" solely to refer to the giving or penetrative partner, which is not synonymous with the dominant partner. Topping subs, power bottoms, and all other permutations exist. I just use that term for myself because I don't like being called a Dom. It sounds like a guy's name to me, I don't like it.

When I text my wife in every morning, "Please bring me my coffee," and she answers, "Yes, Sir!" is that sexual? I'm surely not feeling sexual when I'm barely awake. When I hold my other wife's hand when she's having a depressive fit and tell her, "Daddy's got you, it's okay," that's kink, but it's not sexual. In that moment, neither of us feel particularly sexy, and we're surely not engaging in sex, but it's kink that - forgive the pun - binds us more strongly together.

One of my girls wears a 24/7 collar that I locked in place. (She can ask me at any point to take it off, or she can take it off herself if she wants to, but she chooses this.) That's kink. It's also... a necklace. That's not any more inherently sexual than her wedding ring, though it - for us - certainly symbolizes part of our relationship that happens to sometimes include sex, exactly the same as a wedding ring.

There are a lot of types of kink that don't include sexual contact in any way or which might include sexual contact but don't need to. One of my friends is a sex-repulsed ace bootblack. They literally take care of the boots of tops, usually at play parties. For them, this act of service and submission allows them to go into a particular headspace that's very fulfilling for them. They are explicitly serving the people whose boots they clean and polish. The Dom/mes receive that service and not only get really great-looking boots out of the deal but also get the feeling of power from having someone eager to take care of them and serve them. For some of us, that kind of service allows us access to a feeling of power that can be hard to access in our daily life, and that feels really good.

Sometimes, it can feel good in a sexy way, and sometimes it feels good in a "makes lizard brain feel powerful but not sexy" way. Neither one is inherently better or worse or more or less kinky than the other.

Sometimes, people who like being whipped like it because the line between pain and pleasure is like a wave on the ocean, and they want to surf it. Sometimes, that involves mashing squishy bits together, and sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes, it's just about riding that endorphin wave and then having someone take care of you afterwards.

Sometimes, people want to be tied up in elaborate shibari knots and fucked. Sometimes, people want to be tied up in elaborate shibari knots because that process requires a lot of trust and is an intimate ritual that takes a lot of time. Sometimes, it's both. Sometimes, people want to tie up others because it's a beautiful work of art, because that ritual of binding is a ritual and accesses something sacred for them. Sometimes, they want to be tied up because it's playtime, and that's fun for them! Sometimes, they want to be tied up because when they're tied up, they are 0% in control, and they want to just surrender control to someone whom they can trust.

Some people want to go into sub space - that headspace I talked about earlier - because in their everyday life, they have a lot of responsibilities and stress, and going into that space where nobody can ask anything from them, where they have no responsibility to make any decisions at all, is a relief to them. That might involve squishy bits, or it might not. Some people like going into that sub space because being someone's Good Boy, Sweet Girl, or Good Pup is gender-affirming for them. A friend of mine only feels really safe when he's got his pup hood on, because that means he's With Master, who will protect him.

Some people get gender affirmation out of being in control, being someone's Daddy or Mistress, Sir or Boss. It allows them to access a power that helps them to square their shoulders and take on the world.

All of this entirely skips over the fact that a person's primary sexual organ is between their ears, and some people do get sexual fulfillment out of kink even when no genitalia are involved at all, but I cannot stress enough that the reasons that people enter into the multitude of kink situations in the world are as varied as the people involved. People gain access to comfort, to feelings of stability and order and control over their lives, to gender affirmation, to endorphins that are or aren't sexual in nature, to release from responsibility, to ritual and intimacy, to the ability to provide for others and take care of others in a way that their outside lives may or may not permit. For that matter, they may simply gain access to a paycheck, and that's fine, too. That's no more or less "selling your body" than when I used to run my ass off for 13+ hours a day at my retail job, and I guarantee they're making way, way better money.

The fact that so many people see kink as only and purely sexual means they're missing out on so much of what kink can offer, and narrowing down the experiences of others to this tiny little sliver of what actually exists. Yes, it can be sexual, but it doesn't have to be. The reasons that people engage in kink are as varied as the reasons that people engage in any other kind of interaction, and the fulfillment they get from it is as varied, too.

[the-narwhals-awaken]

The bats have so many folks around, even if they aren't always working together. Enough that folks like to joke/write about Danny just kinda showing up acting like he already lives there. He just kinda blends in.

I'd love to see more magic motivated versions of this. Some kind of spell that affects the bat's perceptions of the past and present, making them actually miss that this boy wasn't with their family too long ago. Maybe it changes their understanding like it's a time line shift, maybe it fogs their mind just a tad and makes them glaze past something like it wasn't even there. I like the second if only because I feel like that would make it more likely for the bats to realize a spell was a foot.

Imagining this from Danny's side, hes terrified this whole time of getting found out. He knows how and when he showed up here and maybe even how flimsy whatever magic is in place is. Imagining a Desiree wish that was either very carefully worded or Not so carefully worded. Maybe he placed himself with the Wayne family with the expectation that he would quietly mooch of some rich idiot until he was ready to be on his own. Or maybe he wished himself to be a part of the batclan, taking up a mask and patroling with them as a bird that Doesn't Exist.

Ofc eventually the spell has to be broken, leaving the bats confused worried scared angry probably even amused, and a billion other things. WHY did this teenager decide to adopt himself into the Wayne/bat family? Who the hell is he and where did he come from. Someone call Zatanna, there is some magic Fuckery going on.

[the-narwhals-awaken]

bad wolf? what's bad wolf?

[the-narwhals-awaken]

The ironing board is a great place to starch small crochet projects (re: snowflakes), sometimes I iron pieces of not-quite-clothing (aprons) that get wrinkly, and when I make T-shirts you need to iron on the stencil and then iron over the paint once it's dry. Not much else really needs it, though.

if you don‘t personally own one but your roommates/parents do and you are allowed to use it, that counts as yes

[the-narwhals-awaken]

My face is having uncontrollable spasms. Great. It hurts really, really, really bad.

I think part of why I have trouble explaining pain to the doctor is when they ask about the pain scale I always think “Well, if someone threw me down a flight of stairs right now or punched me a few times, it would definitely hurt a lot more” so I end up saying a low number. I was reading an article that said that “10” is the most commonly reported number and that is baffling to me. When I woke up from surgery with an 8" incision in my body and I could hardly even speak, I was in the most horrific pain of my life but I said “6” because I thought “Well, if you hit me in the stomach, it would be worse.”

[the-narwhals-awaken]

fandom meme: come at me friend.

A - Your current OTP(s)/OT3(s)/OTX(s)

B - A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will (be nice)

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t (again: be nice)

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom, if so, what

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom

G - Do you remember your first OTP, if so who was in it

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., tv shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)

I - Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why

J - Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblr

K -Say something nice about someone in any of your fandoms

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves (chars you’re neutral on are fair game, as are chars you dislike)

M - Say something genuinely nice about a ship that you don’t ship (or its shippers, or anything related to you)

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice)

O - Choose a song at random, which ship or character does it remind you of

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas)

Q - A ship you’ve abandoned and why

R - A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending, about anything at all (gender identity, sexual or romantic orientation, extended family, sexual preferences like top/bottom/switch, relationship with poetry, seriously anything)

U - 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms

V - 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms

W - 5 favorite ships and 5 kinks you like best for said ships

X - top 5-10 characters who are yoUR PRECIOUS BABIES AND YOU WILL DIE DEFENDING THEM

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go (prompts optional but encouraged)

[the-narwhals-awaken]

A story where the main threat to the world is Goop That Makes You Evil. There's a big bad main villain who got drenched in it and is evil now and wants to spread the goop everywhere, because nobody else should have nice things if they couldn't. Every single character treats touching the goop as a fate as good as death, because surely you might as well be dead if who you used to be as a person is completely gone.

In the final dramatic end battle, the protagonist gets dropped in the goop. This whole time you'll be waiting for them to be somehow heroically rescued at the very last second, or miraculously saved by some buckwild Deus Ex Machina bullshit twist, but nope, into the goop they go. Submerged entirely and without a doubt that they're all the way in there.

And once everyone has managed to process this horrifying event, and the villain is just about to start gloating, the protagonist crawls out of the goop, shaking off smoke tendrils, spitting out something black and oily green, coughing up a few flames of purple fire, looking positively Fucked Up and villainous. And pauses to reflect that they're still the same person.

Like sure they're irrevocably changed in some ways, and there are parts of the person they used to be that they're never going to get back, but ultimately they're not some different person now. And then it clicks. The goop that makes you evil didn't turn the villain evil. This whole time, it's only been their excuse for being so cruel, sadistic and petty, while having the audacity to act like they had no choice. The protagonist muses that sure, making the right choices feels a bit harder now, but it's still a choice.

And in that moment both the hero and the villain realise the same things. The goop didn't turn the villain evil, and the protagonist isn't evil now that they were also immersed in the goop. They are, however, within punching distance of the villain and very, very angry.

[the-narwhals-awaken]

can you explain what you mean when you say "lace rot" ???

It's a term one of my friends came up with - the lace rot, or lace rot disease, usually affects fibre artists (or budding fibre artists) when they're seeing other people make lace, and then suddenly they're consumed with the desire to make lace as well!

It works like this: you're innocently scrolling tumblr, and suddenly come across pictures of an incredibly beautiful, gossamer thin knit shawl, with elegant pattering and beaded in sparkly gems. It looks so intricate and complicated! Then somebody links the pattern, and you look at it, and figure out that it's actually just increases and decreases and some yarn overs. Oh, you think. You could make one too!!

At this point, it's already too late, and the lace rot has set its roots in your soul. There's no point trying to fight it. You will acquire new sharp needles, and more beads than is wise (they are so sparkly!), and oh look, you already had lace weight yarn in your stash, who would have known, and then you will knit a lace shawl. And then another lace shawl. You're browsing ravelry. Your mutuals are helpfully bringing you new patterns. Then somebody mentions crochet, or needle lace, and suddenly you're catching yourself rifling through antique pattern libraries for tatting inspiration. You're suddenly learning four new additional crafts. You make another lace shawl while yearning for more complicated lace shawls, a beautiful, gossamer thin knit shawl, with elegant pattering and beaded in sparkly gems. It looks so intricate and complicated! Yet it was surprisingly easy to create. You post it to tumblr.

Somebody else scrolls through your dash and sees your pictures. Oh, they think...

[the-narwhals-awaken]

can you explain what you mean when you say "lace rot" ???

It's a term one of my friends came up with - the lace rot, or lace rot disease, usually affects fibre artists (or budding fibre artists) when they're seeing other people make lace, and then suddenly they're consumed with the desire to make lace as well!

It works like this: you're innocently scrolling tumblr, and suddenly come across pictures of an incredibly beautiful, gossamer thin knit shawl, with elegant pattering and beaded in sparkly gems. It looks so intricate and complicated! Then somebody links the pattern, and you look at it, and figure out that it's actually just increases and decreases and some yarn overs. Oh, you think. You could make one too!!

At this point, it's already too late, and the lace rot has set its roots in your soul. There's no point trying to fight it. You will acquire new sharp needles, and more beads than is wise (they are so sparkly!), and oh look, you already had lace weight yarn in your stash, who would have known, and then you will knit a lace shawl. And then another lace shawl. You're browsing ravelry. Your mutuals are helpfully bringing you new patterns. Then somebody mentions crochet, or needle lace, and suddenly you're catching yourself rifling through antique pattern libraries for tatting inspiration. You're suddenly learning four new additional crafts. You make another lace shawl while yearning for more complicated lace shawls, a beautiful, gossamer thin knit shawl, with elegant pattering and beaded in sparkly gems. It looks so intricate and complicated! Yet it was surprisingly easy to create. You post it to tumblr.

Somebody else scrolls through your dash and sees your pictures. Oh, they think...

[the-narwhals-awaken]

can you explain what you mean when you say "lace rot" ???

It's a term one of my friends came up with - the lace rot, or lace rot disease, usually affects fibre artists (or budding fibre artists) when they're seeing other people make lace, and then suddenly they're consumed with the desire to make lace as well!

It works like this: you're innocently scrolling tumblr, and suddenly come across pictures of an incredibly beautiful, gossamer thin knit shawl, with elegant pattering and beaded in sparkly gems. It looks so intricate and complicated! Then somebody links the pattern, and you look at it, and figure out that it's actually just increases and decreases and some yarn overs. Oh, you think. You could make one too!!

At this point, it's already too late, and the lace rot has set its roots in your soul. There's no point trying to fight it. You will acquire new sharp needles, and more beads than is wise (they are so sparkly!), and oh look, you already had lace weight yarn in your stash, who would have known, and then you will knit a lace shawl. And then another lace shawl. You're browsing ravelry. Your mutuals are helpfully bringing you new patterns. Then somebody mentions crochet, or needle lace, and suddenly you're catching yourself rifling through antique pattern libraries for tatting inspiration. You're suddenly learning four new additional crafts. You make another lace shawl while yearning for more complicated lace shawls, a beautiful, gossamer thin knit shawl, with elegant pattering and beaded in sparkly gems. It looks so intricate and complicated! Yet it was surprisingly easy to create. You post it to tumblr.

Somebody else scrolls through your dash and sees your pictures. Oh, they think...

[the-narwhals-awaken]

can you explain what you mean when you say "lace rot" ???

It's a term one of my friends came up with - the lace rot, or lace rot disease, usually affects fibre artists (or budding fibre artists) when they're seeing other people make lace, and then suddenly they're consumed with the desire to make lace as well!

It works like this: you're innocently scrolling tumblr, and suddenly come across pictures of an incredibly beautiful, gossamer thin knit shawl, with elegant pattering and beaded in sparkly gems. It looks so intricate and complicated! Then somebody links the pattern, and you look at it, and figure out that it's actually just increases and decreases and some yarn overs. Oh, you think. You could make one too!!

At this point, it's already too late, and the lace rot has set its roots in your soul. There's no point trying to fight it. You will acquire new sharp needles, and more beads than is wise (they are so sparkly!), and oh look, you already had lace weight yarn in your stash, who would have known, and then you will knit a lace shawl. And then another lace shawl. You're browsing ravelry. Your mutuals are helpfully bringing you new patterns. Then somebody mentions crochet, or needle lace, and suddenly you're catching yourself rifling through antique pattern libraries for tatting inspiration. You're suddenly learning four new additional crafts. You make another lace shawl while yearning for more complicated lace shawls, a beautiful, gossamer thin knit shawl, with elegant pattering and beaded in sparkly gems. It looks so intricate and complicated! Yet it was surprisingly easy to create. You post it to tumblr.

Somebody else scrolls through your dash and sees your pictures. Oh, they think...

[the-narwhals-awaken]

A thing I love to do is telling prepper dudes that one of my disaster readiness skills is making stuffed animals. They never get it. Like, my dude, when things get very bad and we're all sharing overcrowded shelters, you're gonna want the power to comfort children. Trust me.

[the-narwhals-awaken]

biting someone's muzzle is a love language