thecaptainsspeech

[thecaptainsspeech]

can i get a kiss in 2024… one good movie kiss perhaps

[thecaptainsspeech]

tonight’s mood

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will you take my gay ass to the botanical garden please.

#I’m beggin’

[thecaptainsspeech]

💯🙏💛🟨👍

#🤷🏽‍♀️✊🏽👀👏🏽💅🏽

[thecaptainsspeech]

if we wanna save tumblr we just have to put on the biggest talent show this town’s ever seen

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”I know nobody cares but I finally cleaned my room after a whi-“ ME!!!! I CARE!!!!!!!!! I CARE SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOURE AMAZING!!! KEEP GOING!!!!!!!! IM PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#*does a cool backflip for you*

[thecaptainsspeech]

Survive for 10 Minutes with a Werewolf.

#Listen I need this #as a little treat

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The lab assistant cums in my mouth. I sit and ponder for a few seconds, then say "one hundred thirty seven million...five hundred sixty two thousand...three hundred and ninety...six? No, three hundred ninety seven"

The professor nods in amazement as he marks "correct" on his sheet for the 17th consecutive time

#....do I really have to say it #me

[thecaptainsspeech]

For everyone on tumblr who hasn't yet seen Swiss spitting on his rainshaker and wanking it off-

#SWISS WHAT #SWISS WHY #THINK OF THE CHILDREN

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um yeah I pull bitches. pull bitches into my dark realm of terrors

#just straight up a house of horrors that is me trying to detail a date #I take you to nice place to eat!!! #OOHHHH #I take you home and ask if I can kiss you!!! #LOOK OUT

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Wish i was drunk at a party explaining mgs to someone

#*me looking confused as to why people are interested* #its....its just special salt #*sweats*

[thecaptainsspeech]

#*vibrates violently* #LOVE KING OF THE HILL

[thecaptainsspeech]

#I am the gleek and I am playing Somewhere Only We Know

[thecaptainsspeech]

drinking milk like im eating a fucking meal

#*often forgets breakfast lunch and dinner and pretends that a single glass of milk is my savior #feels dizzy for the rest of the day and wonders why* #I haven't learned self love yet #does it show?

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Tfw 98 Woowoo has those lines on his face and they look a bit like kitty whiskers

#Tristamp wee woo would never #98 woowoo is a different breed #and I adore him for it #Trigun

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zombie and 12 year old bonding

#He fucking would... #FNAF

[thecaptainsspeech]

Ruin

(happy 9th anniversary!)

#FNAF