thechaoscryptid

[thechaoscryptid]

Nothing gives the same kind of random ego boost like managing to finally clean up your home and making it nice. Like ooh look at me, I'm living like people do, I made myself iced tea and I am eating my snack from a real plate. I got floors and shit.

[thechaoscryptid]

[thechaoscryptid]

I forgot how lonely it is to write original fiction.

Where are the kudos? The subscriptions? The comments? The people cheerleading me chapter to chapter? Where are the kind words and compliments and reassurances that what I'm writing isn't complete crap? Where are the unhinged emojis? The asks on Tumblr? Where are my mutuals in my dms apologizing for not reading the latest chapter right away (side note, you know you don't have to apologize at all, right??). Where is the fanart? Where are the recs?

Where is my motivation to keep going?

It's something I've been thinking about a lot, actually, lately. How the experience of writing fanfic is so unique. How you already have an audience, willing and waiting and captive. And that's really it, isn't it? You have an audience. It's almost performative, writing fanfic. It's being on a stage, a one-person show (or two, if you do it with a friend); it's getting live reactions to your performance, it's feeding off the energy of the crowd and informing it back in a feedback loop; it's improvised, sometimes, in almost-real-time. It's building something that you couldn't have built by yourself. A thing that takes on a life of its own.

It's an experience you can't get writing original fiction, and, honestly, not having it is making it hard to write something original at all.

[thechaoscryptid]

🔹 Saying that it's okay to write or read about dark and taboo topics but only when they're portrayed in a certain way is still censorship.

🔹 Wanting to ban or forbid media that you believe portrays a negative topic in a positive light, by glorifying, romanticizing, or fetishizing it is still censorship.

🔹 There is no objective metric to decide if a story is portraying a negative topic the 'right' way.

🔹 Just because a piece of fiction doesn't explicitly condemn or portray an evil action in a bad light in the text doesn't mean the author thinks its good or is trying to persuade the audience that it is good.

🔹 Survivors of trauma will not always write fiction about their trauma in a way that seems 'right' or 'normal' to you.

🔹 Banning fiction because it portrays dark, taboo topics in a way you consider gross or disgusting is still censorship.

[thechaoscryptid]

''Doesn't know what it's like to receive love''

[thechaoscryptid]

The Punisher 😍 and I guess Wolfwood is there too

[thechaoscryptid]

wait you understand that kinks are ok because they're fantasies that make you happy right? you all get that you don't need to have trauma for your kinks to be okay? right? like none of you think i witnessed a tragic accident on the pool toy assembly line right?

[thechaoscryptid]

come into my cargo hold, i totally believe you’re a free robot trying to return home. i could melt your brain btw. you’re lucky to be alive. can i watch your tv

[thechaoscryptid]

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

[thechaoscryptid]

There’s something about a whumpee just sitting down. Not fainting, necessarily. Maybe they’re just about to faint, and they quietly just kneel on the ground at a time and place that doesn’t make sense. They don’t even have the capacity or willingness to articulate why they need to abruptly stop and sit. Maybe they’re catatonic while the others look at them.

Maybe a caretaker can see the dull, vacant look in their eyes and immediately senses that something is seriously wrong. Maybe the fainting comes just a few moments later.

[thechaoscryptid]

love a fictional character who will scowl and tell people “I’m not sick” “I’m not hungry” “I didn’t get injured”

meanwhile he has an extremely high fever, he ate some soup last week, and the blood is soaking through his jacket

[thechaoscryptid]

We’re Harkonnens. So this is how we’ll survive. By being Harkonnens.

[thechaoscryptid]

Trans Trigun Week officially has prompts! The event will run from June 24th to June 29th! Spread a little trans joy and share your creations for trans hcs and our handful of canon trans characters! Graphics by the dear @/hashtagcaneven Text list for the prompts under the cut!

23. Gender Euphoria/Changes I Deserve To Bleed by Sushi Soucy: "I wanna cover myself head to toe in super sexy scars / 'Cause I mean, aren't you supposed to burn if you're a star?"

24. Hair/Shaving Boys Will Be Bugs by Cavetown: "I feel stupid (stupid), ugly (ugly) / Pretend it doesn't bother me"

25. T4T/Family IDK If I'm A Boy by Blue Foster: "And I know that I've been breathin' / Different since I've got this feeling"

26. No-op/Post-op Nvr Pass by She/Her/hers: "I'd rather live my life visibly trans / I'll never pass"

27. Gender Dysphoria/Acceptance Norse Truth by Against Me!: "C'mon, shape shift with me / What have you got to lose? / Fuck it"

28. Clothes/Makeup Boys Will Be Bugs by Cavetown: "I feel stupid (stupid), ugly (ugly) / Pretend it doesn't bother me"

29. Elendira/Zazie/Trans Joy Chaotic Gender Neutral by Murder Person for Hire: "I'm here and I'm queer and I'm drowning in fear / And I wanna punch you in the face”

[thechaoscryptid]

[thechaoscryptid]

Underrated form of intimacy:

The quiet discussion and good-luck affirmations between you and the person helping you don your armor. The comfort of knowing that the straps and buckles are perfectly secure, because the person who did them up loves you more than words can say.

[thechaoscryptid]

Reblog the writers’ fortune cookie for luck!

[thechaoscryptid]

You, a heroic paladin have successfully slain a fearsome dragon. But the dragon warns you that death is but a door, and dragons don’t die, they reincarnate. You paid it no mind….until your son was born with golden, slitted eyes.