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Thank you, Cracked
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First, understand that the opposite of panic is not blithe acceptance of the situation – it’s clear-minded, positive, day-to-day action. Panic makes you do stupid shit or, even worse, curl up into a ball and do nothing. Don’t tell me you have reason to panic. You never have reason to panic. You have reason to act.
So yeah, be upset for as long as you want. Get drunk. Do whatever you have to do. After that, I want you to sober up, splash water on your face, and consider some facts.
Gay marriage has overwhelming support nationwide – 55 percent to 37 percent against.
Legal abortion is favored by 56 percent, with 41 percent opposed.
The vast majority of the population supports background checks for gun buyers – up to 90 percent in some polls.
A majority of Americans support some kind of universal health care, 58 percent to 37 percent.
64 percent of Americans are worried about global warming. Only 36 percent are not.
And – get this – Americans overwhelmingly agree that immigration helps the country more than it hurts, by a 59 percent to 33 percent margin.
Okay?
Your country didn’t go anywhere. It’s right here where you left it. America is nothing more than a big ol’ collection of people, and those people are more diverse and progressive than they have ever been. That train won’t be stopped. Donald Trump’s supporters are by and large an aging and shrinking demographic. We didn’t see the backlash coming, but that’s on us – a look at our history would have taught us to expect it.
In light of that, there are a few things to understand going forward.
Don’t Panic
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NOT EVEN FUCKING CHANCING IT
“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”
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Pundits and the political press want to call this race early before every last person votes. That threatens to suppress voter turnout in New Jersey, California, North Dakota, South Dakota, Montana and New Mexico. But we’re not going to let that happen.
Today you can send a message that this country belongs to all of us, not just a handful of billionaires. Go vote.
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So I was rereading Harry Potter, when I came across this and thought- what if instead of Cedric Diggory, Cassius Warrington had been chosen to compete in the Triwizard Tournament?
Imagine Dumbledore calling out the name of the Hogwarts champion and it isn’t a Gryffindor, or a Ravenclaw, or even a Hufflepuff, but it’s a Slytherin. A student from a House most people hate.
Imagine Cassius Warrington getting up, and three out of four Houses are booing at him and shouting things like “NO!” or, “We can’t have a Slytherin champion!” or demanding a retry. But he’s a Slytherin- he’s been dealing with this shit since he got sorted, so he keeps his head high and joins the other champions.
Imagine Harry trying to catch Warrington alone because he doesn’t really want to associate with Slytherins (plus Malfoy has this tendency of being around the guy ALL THE TIME since he got chosen), but at the same time he’s also fair enough not to want him to walk into the first task unprepared.
Imagine Warrington walking over to Harry a few months later, and Ron and Hermione both jump into a protective stance, wands out, but instead of attacking Harry he just tells him to stick the egg underwater. (Because Slytherins don’t forget those who helped them out).
Imagine Warrington and Harry helping each other out in the labyrinth.
Imagine Harry being devastated when Peter kills Warrington- because Voldemort doesn’t care what house they’re form, a spare is a spare.
Imagine the uproar that causes among the Slytherins, because some of their parents really are Death Eaters and they know what really happened.
Imagine Slytherins fighting in the Battle of Hogwarts and shouting “This is for Cassius!”
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To the parents who are boycotting Finding Dory over a FOUR-SECOND lesbian couple:
You’re letting your kids watching Disney movies which have:
naked women
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a fucking stripper mouse
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Satan
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A 70 year old man enslaving a fucking 15 yr girl, giving her sexy outfits and calling her pussycat
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This fucking movie
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Drinking and smoking
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Voodoo….
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….which results in him, literally getting dragged to hell
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And murder
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But for some reason, a 4-second lesbian couple (or any future LGBT characters) is too inappropriate for your kids because now Disney is “perverted, evil, and it’ll brainwash your kids.”
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Think of your priorities and morals.
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CALIFORNIA FOR BERNIE:
Want to get Bernie elected?  You have to make sure he gets chosen as the Democratic Nominee, so he can be on the ballot in the General Election in November.  That means, you have to vote for him in the primaries.  Young people have NOTORIOUSLY low voter turnout.  Buck the stereotypes.  Make your voice heard.  Decisions are made by those who show up.
Dates you need to know:
VOTER REGISTRATION DEADLINE: MONDAY, MAY 23  You MUST be registered AS A DEMOCRAT OR “NO PARTY PREFERENCE” to vote for Bernie in the Primary!  You only need to re-register if you’re not registered as a Democrat, and/or if you’ve moved since you last voted (even if it’s the same state).  Check to see if you’re registered.
PRIMARY (aka ELECTION DAY): TUESDAY, JUNE 7 Put these dates on your calendar! Put a reminder on your phone!  The morning of, CALL YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY, make sure their butts are out of bed. <3 <3 <3
Other important info:
Find your Primary Location
General Info
More info on how to vote in California.  (You can also sign up to get reminders on important dates!)  Even more info and resources.
*****PLEASE SIGNAL BOOST THIS POST*****
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you can never “just be friends” with someone you fell in love with.
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B, A, G
B, A, G
G, G, G, G
A, A, A, A
B, A, G
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Headcanon that when Deadpool meets Maria Hill that he immediately responds with “Oh my god, ROBIN SPARKLES?! HOLY SHIT I OWN ALL OF YOUR CDS OH I LOVED YOU IN SPACE TEENS, I ALWAYS USED TO SIT ON THE COUCH WITH MY MAMA WHENEVER IT WAS ON-”
In which Maria puts a gun to his throat and says, 
“Keep going and I will kill you.”
In which Deadpool responds, “Oh that’s the best part, you can k-word me as many times as you want! C’mon, sing it with me, 🎶 Let’s go to the mall! 🎶”
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Donald Trump actually defended Bernie Sanders as a fellow outsider against the ‘corrupt’ establishment
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This is it, people! This is our way to conquer the minds!
#FeelTheBern #GoBernie 
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is that fucking comic sans?
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truly incredible
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Here’s a very personal track I’ve been working on for a while. It’s called “Messages” and I really hope you like it. Thanks.
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