timelinewrestling - Tumblr blog

timelinewrestling · 4 years

Text

WWF RAW Jan. 11, 1993

The very first episode of Monday Night Raw opens on the street outside of The Manhattan Center with Sean Mooney explaining to Bobby Heenan that he can’t go inside because he’s been replaced on commentary by Rob Bartlett. Sean Mooney was a play-by-play commentator and studio anchor but was not long for the company after this appearance as he leaves in April. During this time, Bobby Heenan was not managing full time and mostly did work on commentary. He worked with Ric Flair on his current WWF run as well as another character that we will discuss later on. His main goal for this episode is to make it inside and take his job back.

A very 90’s intro package plays and we are inside with Vince Mcmahon, “Macho Man” Randy Savage, and Rob Bartlett. Vince was the lead commentator at this time and also conducted in-ring interviews. The rumor on Randy is that he was saddled with commentator duty even though he wanted to be in the ring full time. However, according to Bruce Prichard, Randy wanted to wind down his career and only wrestle part-time. Bartlett was a comedian and radio DJ who apparently didn’t know anything about wrestling except how to bury the wrestlers, the fans, and the company every chance he could. After reading up on Bartlett, I am happy to see that most people at the time hated his commentary as much as I do and he didn’t stick around the WWF very long. Vince tries his best to make Bartlett seem funny but it soon becomes apparent that he is regretting his decision to hire him. It looks like Randy just tries to ignore him.

There are two dark matches before the televised show begins. First, we have Damien Demento losing to Bob Backland by DQ and then Johnny Rotten losing to The Cheetah Kid. Later on, Demento would also wrestle in the main event of the night against The Undertaker. He started with the company several months earlier in October of 1992 and only lasted about a year, leaving in October of 1993. Backland had also just recently returned to the company and found himself stuck in the midcard as he wasn’t getting over with the younger fans who didn’t remember him. Johnny Rotten and The Cheetah Kid would later work together as Johnny Grunge and Rocco Rock respectively, forming the team “The Public Enemy”.

Our first televised match of the night is Koko B. Ware VS. Yokozuna, or “Yokozuma” as Bartlett calls him. At this time, Koko is one half of High Energy with Owen Hart. This was near the very end of Koko’s WWF career and he left the company a few months later. Bartlett jokes that Koko looks like Gary Coleman. Yokozuna makes his entrance alongside Mr. Fuji. Some girls in the ring offer flowers to Yokozuna in what I assume is sumo custom, as Bartlett makes fat joke after fat joke, followed by more fat jokes, specifically one about Yokozuna eating Koko’s bird, and also the term “Big Butted Oriental”. Vince notes that up to this point, Yokozuna is undefeated and hasn’t even been knocked off his feet. The three commentators keep trying to sell Raw’s motto, that it is “Uncooked, Uncut, and Uncensored” but they botch it several times in these first few episodes. They also mention that both Yokozuna and Macho Man will be participating in the upcoming Royal Rumble match. This match itself is a squash. What little offense Koko gets in is no-sold by Yokozuna. The best spot of the match is when Koko goes for a splash and ends up draped over the ropes. Yokozuna drops a leg on him, picks him up, chokes him into the corner, splashes him, climbs onto the 2nd rope and finishes him with a Banzai Drop.

We then get a short ad for the Royal Rumble and then our first look at one of the “Raw Girls”. These women were Vince’s take on boxing’s ring girls who would take a lap and hold a sign showing the number of whichever round was coming up. This woman’s sign simply reads “Monday Night Raw”. As beautiful as they may be, I’d rather see wrestlers. Vince throws us to a pre-taped segment featuring Bobby Heenan discussing his client “Narcissus”. Of course, he is actually talking about Lex Luger’s new gimmick “The Narcissist”. They just hadn’t settled on that name yet I guess. It’s a little grating to hear Bobby and Vince say “Narcissus” over and over so I understand why they went with a different name. In Bobby’s promo, he tells Mr. Perfect that Narcissus is better than him in every way and it would be like comparing ice cream to horse manure.

Back in the ring, our next match is about to start. It’s a tag team match between The Steiner Brothers and The Executioners. There were several different incarnations of “The Executioners” in wrestling. These particular guys are played by Barry Hardy and Duane Gill, who would later go on to be Gillberg. They would also portray The Toxic Turtles, a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle gimmick for at least one match. The Steiners, however, were destined for bigger things. Rick and Scott were both accomplished amateur wrestlers and came to the company the previous year after leaving WCW. Randy mentions that the Steiners have a match at the Royal Rumble against the Beverly Brothers. Bartlett asks which Steiner is which and Randy no-sells him. Scott and his immaculate mullet start the match and quickly lay the smack-down on one of the Executioners. We also get Vince’s first “What a maneuver!” on Raw. At this point, we see Doink the Clown running around in the audience. I hate this distraction. It could have waited or just happened between matches. More on Doink later. Rick tags in and decimates the Executioner. Commentary is very bad during this match. They talk about Doink, Bartlett makes “jokes”, and Vince suddenly announces that football player Mitch Frerotte is coming to the WWF, which never actually ends up happening. Scott tags in and almost kills his opponent with a belly to belly suplex and then throws him into the corner. The other Executioner tags in and Scott hits him with a double under-hook power-bomb. He gets him up on his shoulders for Rick to jump off the top turnbuckle with a bulldog headlock. Scott hooks the leg and wins. It was good for a squash match, but Doink and commentary really took away from it.

We cut back to Sean Mooney on the outside as he confronts Bobby Heenan who is dressed in drag and being held by security. That’s the whole gag. Heenan is charming and I’m sure this was funny at the time but I just don’t need it right now. The duality between this type of kid-friendly comedy and the whole “Uncut” thing they were going for is just confusing to me. But that’s just Vince, I guess. Next up, Vince conducts an in-ring interview with Razor Ramon. The Bad Guy comes out wearing my favorite shirt that I’ve ever laid eyes on and he is oozing machismo as always. They discuss the Royal Rumble and Razor’s upcoming match against Bret Hart for the title. Razor mentions how it took Bret 8 and a half years to get where he is and it only took Razor 8 and a half months. We see how Razor attacked Owen Hart on WWF Mania just to be cruel to Bret. Razor throws his toothpick at Vince and exits. As he leaves, Randy promotes the WWF and Red Cross’s “Headlock On Hunger” campaign to aid the hungry in Somalia. We also see a taped segment with Tatanka. Not a lot to say about that.

This is Raw’s first title match as Shawn Micheals defends against Max Moon, who is played by Paul Diamond and NOT Konnan as some people believe. The gimmick was made for Konnan, but he left the company soon after. Since the gear fit, Diamond got the character. Shawn Michaels won the IC Title from The British Bulldog in a match that took place on October 27th the previous year but wasn’t aired until November 14th. At this time he had split from Sensational Sherry and was feuding with former partner Marty Jannetty. This is the best match of the night as you might expect. Shawn and Max Moon are both quick and effective. During the match, Vince mentions that Sherry will be present during Shawn Vs. Marty at the Royal Rumble, but it is unknown whose corner she will be in. Bartlett is fucking awful during this match. He does a Mike Tyson impersonation that goes on way too long, but Vince and even Randy just keep selling for him. Doink is also present once again. After a two count, Shawn kicks out and unleashes a super-kick, followed by his finisher at the time, a teardrop suplex. He pins Moon to retain.

We are shown some ads and then the Royal Rumble Report, presented by Gene Okerlund. This is Gene’s last year with the company until his return in 2001. He hypes up various matches for the upcoming Pay-Per-View, including HBK Vs. Marty Janetty and announces some names for the Rumble match itself. Shawn cuts a promo on Marty, calling him a simpleton and that Sherry will definitely be in his own corner. Marty cuts a promo back hinting that maybe Shawn doesn’t know Sherry as well as he thinks he does. Some more pre-taped promos are shown including Mr. Perfect, Mr. Fuji and Yokozuna (Fuji also calls him “Yokozuma”, just like Bartlett did.), and Hacksaw Jim Duggan. All of them are just proclaiming themselves the winner of the Rumble.

Back to Mooney on the outside and this time Bobby is dressed up as a Hasidic Jew, still trying to get inside. Bobby then decides he will try to get in from the roof of the building. I’m over this bit. McMahon shills some tickets and botches the “uncooked” thing again. Then he throws us to the last episode of Superstars where Komala turns face on his Manager and Handler, Harvey Wippleman and Kim Chee and sides with Reverend Slick as his new manager. I’ll look more into these guys in the future when they actually appear on the show. Our main event is next.

Damien Demento Vs. The Undertaker is the first main event on Raw. Demento is billed from “The Outer Reaches of Your Mind” and that sounds about right. The gong sounds and The Undertaker makes his way to the ring with Paul Bearer. The Undertaker would soon begin the feud that would lead to his most underwhelming Wrestlemania match ever, but tonight it’s only Damien Demento. The bell rings and Demento is on the offensive until Taker slams his head onto the mat. Taker hits all the signatures here. Old School, Shakespeare, and he finishes Demento with his Tombstone Piledriver. Dominant but not a complete squash, this was a pretty good main event. After the match, Vince advertises...Woody Allen Vs. Mia Farrow in a steel cage for next week’s episode, which is not funny and pretty disgusting.

After the commercial break, Vince is interviewing Doink about how he likes to make kids cry and how Crush has warned him about that. Crush enters, tells Doink off, says “brah” and “brudda” a few hundred times, chases Doink around and then stands tall in the ring. Why was this here? It should have been before the Taker match at least. Finally, we see Bobby Heenan again and Mooney informs him that he’s finally allowed to go inside. After the show is over.

There is a dark main event featuring Crush Vs. Bam Bam Bigelow that Crush wins by DQ, so I guess that is why the Crush/Doink segment was placed where it was, I just feel like it should have been handled differently.

That was the first episode of Monday Night Raw. Overall it was an okay show. It’s not what you’d expect as a modern wrestling fan. I’d expect some bigger names on the first show, but there were decent enough matches. The only real gripe I have is that commentary made some of the show unwatchable. Shawn Vs. Max Moon was really good, but Rob Bartlett just made me want to skip it. I would recommend watching this show, just try to tune the guy out.

4 notes · View notes