tomhollandaise

[tomhollandaise]

"have you learned how to drive yet" i have the spirit of friendship in my heart. the joy of lifes little things in my soul. the whimsy of magic. the beautiful enjoyment of nature. the answer is no though

[tomhollandaise]

You can’t let this stupid ass evil world rob you of your vibe don’t let them do that to u

[tomhollandaise]

Breast implants can be haunted and/or cursed just like any other object. People don't realize this and it always comes back to bite them in the clit

Can you come off anon and talk better yet start a podcast with me

[tomhollandaise]

did u seriously just equate physical appearance with morality in front of the hoes

[tomhollandaise]

hate it when I'm eating and my stomach starts growling

[tomhollandaise]

guys aren't comically getting their red heart covered boxers exposed after they get their pants pulled down anymore. Due to wokeness

[tomhollandaise]

my middle aged client going off about kids these days and how they have such a different childhood and back in the day kids used to have real experiences like how she and her girl friends used to practice kissing on each other and now kids just sit in the same room in silence on their damn phones. hey ma'am run that back real quick

[tomhollandaise]

it really is insane how waking up early will grant you access to some of the most beautiful sights and sensations in the world that will make you want to live forever, but only if you overcome the gauntlet of a thousand razors that is getting out of bed early. truly one of life's little saw traps.

[tomhollandaise]

I am, like, a long running proponent of the "eat something and you'll feel better" crowd and am often one of the first people to suggest "maybe it's time for a snack before I get whipped into a frenzy" but I really do resent how instantaneous it is. like it'll feel like I'm having my worst day in months and then I'll start eating and literally before I even finish I'm like oh yeah the world is beautiful

[tomhollandaise]

You’re telling me this plot has a hole? Is it tight?

[tomhollandaise]

learning that people want you in their lives is a skill you can develop if it does not come naturally

[tomhollandaise]

daddy has to be honest kitten. i think we're going to have to sublease and turn the sex dungeon into a bedroom again. the rent is going up and your asmr slime youtube isnt taking off like we thought it would

[tomhollandaise]

[tomhollandaise]

me trying to convince myself that the whole spectrum of human emotions is a good and necessary thing to feel even if its not comfortable while im actively experiencing emotions that make me feel like my bones are being dissolved in acid

[tomhollandaise]

[tomhollandaise]

Every now and again I think of this Sarah tweet and just stare into the middle distance.

[tomhollandaise]

"Stay at home girlfriend" You are a human pet to him, a cat he can fuck, I never see tiktok/youtube stay at home girlfriends writing novel, traveling and playing video games or any fun exciting leisure activities you can do without a job. They aren't taking advantage of these rich loser men, they are all cooking instagramable green meals, cleaning, exercising on treadmills like hamsters and performing lengthy boring beauty rituals. Girl you have a wealthy benefactor and you are unemployed, become obsessed with videogames, make a indie film on his dime, write a genius manifesto, and gain 50 pounds and see if he won't kick you out. He wants your life empty and curated around him. Soon you'll started being driven mad by that pesky yellow wallpaper.