Just found out that the dietary calorie is still measured by burning food in a "bomb calorimeter" and then measuring the heat produced. There's no solid evidence that this method is at all equivalent to how our bodies process food (an entirely different chemical process from combustion), the accuracy of this system has been disputed for as long as it's existed, and there are no available alternatives
There are 4800 calories in a kilogram of dry sawdust even though wood is completely indigestible to humans, because calories don't measure nutritional value, just how well something burns
Sbongebob me boy, I’ve overloaded the reactor core and caused a catastrophic meltdown which will irradiate the surrounding area for years to come! ARGARGARGARG
trans guy who doesn’t realize he’s turning into a werewolf because he assumes it’s all just normal side effects of starting testosterone