unironicallyalex

[unironicallyalex]

you're a gigantic egotistical faggot

Bark like a dog for my attention

[unironicallyalex]

Ugh, was having a great time mocking my recently imprisoned rival when I noticed the camera positioning makes it so that I appear behind the bars, thus framing me as trapped in a metaphorical prison of the narrative, now my whole day is ruined. Fuck.

[unironicallyalex]

When I was a kid my family pretended to get raptured so I would think I was left behind on earth while they all went to heaven.

I was like 8 years old and my sister and mom had gotten really into the Left Behind novels (bible fan fic about the rapture). In the books when the rapture happened the clothes that people were wearing when they got raptured were left behind in neatly folded piles.

One day when I was getting home from school my family decided that they would leave piles of neatly folded clothes around the house, and then hide in the basement.

The intended effect was that I would get home and see the clothes then, think that my family had been raptured and that I wasn’t good enough to get into heaven… or something?

The problem was that I had never read these books, and didn’t really think about the rapture very often. There was no reason that I would see some laundry on the floor and think “The rapture happened and I’ve been abandoned by God! I’ll never see my family again!! Oh nooo!!!!”

I just sat down and watched cartoons and eventually my family got bored and revealed that they were all hiding in the basement.

It’s a good thing I didn’t understand the joke, otherwise that shit would have been traumatic.

[unironicallyalex]

It pisses me the fuck off that yoga is actually ancient and really good for you. Part of me still feels like it was invented to extract wealth from white socal moms.

[unironicallyalex]

Knowledge is empowering

[unironicallyalex]

@nyancrimew is in the weekend crossword puzzle...

[unironicallyalex]

catch the latest issue of your fave 2000s magazine

#totally spies ftw

[unironicallyalex]

I will never get over how weird it feels to have tragic and emotional chapters of your life where you just also still go to work, and the grocery store, and see funny videos online all while feeling such paralyzing fear and heartache

life just goes on no matter what

[unironicallyalex]

lord the peasants are so loud today

[unironicallyalex]

[unironicallyalex]

I just found out the offspring of a goat and sheep is called a GEEP and they’re the cutest lil shits ever I want 200 of them

[unironicallyalex]

They should remove the age requirement for presidency. Its time for america to enter its despotic boy-king era

[unironicallyalex]

[unironicallyalex]

[unironicallyalex]

[unironicallyalex]

Me and the bestie!!!! [I saw the loituma girl in a dream and was hit with visions]

This one ^^^

[unironicallyalex]

im so fucking annoyed at how absolutely STUPID the american LGTBQ+ “community” and their “allies” have been in regards to pinkwashing from “israel.” like zionists in general are ridiculous but the pinkwashed homophobia crowd has the least amount of brain cells in the entire conversation.

“omg palestine is homophobic you cant support them!”

1) palestine is not a person. a nation yes but not a fucking person. yall love to come on here and say “well not ALL zionists are shitty colonial murderers! they arent the same as their government!” so by that logic why are the palestinian people an extension of theirs? and at what point in 75 years have palestinians had enough time to worry about their LGTBQ+ laws when EVERYONE, including QUEER PALESTINIANS, is being targeted, arrested, abused, and murdered? please fucking explain.

2) by this same fucking logic half the states in america alone should be bombed. florida should be taken off the map bc of the amount of anti-LGTBQ+ laws that have been passed in the past how many years. oh but that suddenly doesnt fucking matter right? bc we’re in the West™️ we’re not “dirty savages” like the global south?

3) AT WHAT POINT DO ANY OF YOU DUMB ASSES ACKNOWLEDGE PALESTINIAN QUEERS. LITERALLY. THERE ARE ENTIRE COALITIONS OF QUEER PALESTINIANS ACTUALLY DOING THE WORK TO SAVE THEIR PEOPLE AND DISMANTLE HARMFUL INSTITUTIONS WHILE YOU ARE ONLINE TALKING ABOUT KILLING A WHOLE NATION BC THEY HAVE GAY MARRIAGE OUTLAWED. fucking insane.

anyways free palestine, fuck all zionists and your clown ass supporters, and to all the queers in the West who support genocide bc you don’t have the critical thinking to look past your comfy home in LA, choke.