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unspokenmusic · 7 years

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Almost drowned

an ignorant love i might say

Reclusive and ever elusive love is,

The intangible like quality that compels us.

Like swimming in the middle of the ocean

Makes us restless and desire more.

Who am i?

feeling soulless following you around around like a child.

What do i want?

This bashful innocence yells that i know nothing.

But like a baby struggling to walk im learning

Looking through rose colored lenses

Illusions drive me insane with thoughts of what we could be

What is real

Yearning for that movie like reality

Because what’s before me doesn’t suffice.

Trembling tremors trials and tribulations

always taciturn for your tangible to the tender touch

Tremendously tantalizing you are transcendental

Like mother ocean herself.

Emotions rush in like waves

I can feel the poison in my bloodstream

Yet my heart pumps loudly

I feel alive through the pain

Watching from afar is enough for me

Sometimes i’ll hold out a hand in your direction

I’ll feel the warmth in my heart

I’ll listen to the lullaby of my love

Young and foolish they call me

But i’m blind to these bright colors

So beautiful it blurs my vision

Yet you stand out among them

These fleeting visions sweep past my mind

Can’t you hear the echo of my love?

It howls out whenever you’re near

I’ll cry for this foolish first love

Because i’ve never entered even an inch into your line of sight

Yet Ironically you're all i see

so like a child begging for attention i persisted

Like a flower my love bloomed and now it withers

Like a tree in fall i will unwillingly discard these leaves

yet they’ll still fall brilliantly.

Those bright colors will plague my vision again.

Selfishly crumble that wasted attempt,

like paper discard it

These tears will wash the scars away

But my love will scream out at the ocean once more

a love that died,

#love

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unspokenmusic · 7 years

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getting high off tears

everything is aching her body is on fire.

This never ending depression this pain like a knife stabbing through her skin.

You can call this her funeral even though she’s not dead.

When she can no longer breathe or speak.

she’ll get high off her tears.

Smoke them till she’s too high to speak.

Till she falls asleep

Until her pillow is soaked and vision clouded.

it’s a drug and she’s addicted.

A slave to these harsh unfair emotions.

Throw her around like a ragdoll and she’ll just get high again.

This anxiety creeping up behind her clawing at her mind and body.

Leaves her a slave to these harsh unfair emotions.

Like being locked in a jail cell without bars.

So she continues to fall into this sweet despair.

The little girl silently screams that she just wants to be happy like the rest of them.

Cherishing every moment when she’s with her friends smiling.

Because she knows it won’t last.

Wanting to freeze time to cherish this blissful feeling forever even if it’s just for a second.

But deep down she knows it’s impossible.

That its her just trying to look through rose colored lenses but they aren’t for her.

So her heart continues to pump and along with each pump comes an indescribable

ache from within her body.

Believing that she can tell nobody.

Yet there are those who are there to support her but she’s blinded by her own stubborn sadness.

So she puts on a crooked smile and slowly lifts her head up at the sun.

The bright mornings, beautiful sunsets, and the feeling that there’s more to life than what meets the eye.

Something we’re all missing while going along with our day to day lives.

And the idea that maybe just maybe the girl who gets high off tears, the girls with the crooked smile.

She might actually have a purpose here.

And that girl doesn’t wanna let that feeling go no matter what.

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unspokenmusic · 7 years

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follow the north star

I feel completely lost

Even when there's two paths in front of me

It’s scary without a map to tell you where to go

I guess we take those for granted

When we’re to busy taking chances

And not making plans

i’ve already drawn my own and erased it countless times

Stubbornness is in a light of its own in me

Without a permanent marker nothing is set in stone

My mind won’t be pleased

I see a starry sky full of possibilities

I’ll go out and get what i want

Even if it’s hard

let the excitement of my mind charge my restless body

Because i’m dieing to know where this uncharted territory will take me

So ill stop putting thought into

something I never dared to know

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unspokenmusic · 7 years

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sabotage yourself

I wish i could stop caring

I wish my hands and body would stop quivering

I wish I didn’t have to talk because my voice is shaking

Give me a second to pull myself back together

Give me a few days to remember who you were

Because being around the new you makes it so hard to remember

I don't need you

No matter how many time i keep that on repeat

I can't forget you

No matter how sickening this love is i can’t leave

I'm bound to you

Obsessed

my real feeling are compressed

Because you don’t want this mess

Some call me desperate

But i just can’t forget my first love

i can’t wake up

I’m too weak without you

Holding onto you

Still so close yet far away there i go wishing you still loved me

Fighting the flame that's’ still burning in my heart reminding me of what we used to be.

Still stuck in the same old black and white reality yet its been over.

my heart still beats like a drum when you're passing by

But if i could turn back time you’d still be mine

This is why i can’t let go of you

#love obsessive

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unspokenmusic · 7 years

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I realized as I got older that I had visited neverland, not the fictional paradise for children that hated adults. But my own sanctuary where we played games until our hands turned red and sore from gripping those plastic controllers and our legs grew numb from sitting on them.Where I could wake up every morning when the sun shone through the curtains to your voice and quirky attitude that beckoned me to respond. Five years ago I visited neverland and I had never told a soul.

#neverland peterpan

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unspokenmusic · 7 years

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How to Tell The Signs Like You

Aries: Lots of hugs. They will often challenge you, whether this is challenging your beliefs or trying to prove their worth by winning a game. They get jealous easily and may come off as harsh when they see you flirting with or giving attention to someone else. They will think about you more than they like to admit. They will want to be updated with what’s going on in your life, and will actually show interest in your routines/interactions with others. There is a good chance these guys will just tell you how they feel.

Taurus: They’ll ask for your opinions on things and will try to hold stimulating conversations with you. All of your quirks and bad habits will become cute to them. They will look at you like you are this special human being who must be protected at all costs. Sometimes they’ll make fun of you, but all good natured. You will consume their thoughts. They will compliment you on things they admire about you in an almost-manipulative way of letting you know who they want you to be. All earth signs are somewhat manipulative. Taurus’ are just so sweet when they like someone, please don’t hurt them, they constantly fear that once they open up, they’ll be misunderstood or rejected, so don’t be discouraged by a more reserved presence. This is why they want to know so much about you.

Gemini: Witty and talkative. You may think they are always this way, but if they like you, you’ll see it in their eyes. They can be absolutely weird when talking to their crush. They let their guard down. They’ll try to treat you like just another friends if they don’t want to be too obvious about it, but still they’ll pay more attention to what you have to say. They can be touchy, similar to Leos, but more spontaneous. Be careful with Geminis, they look at love as an experience/adventure; they are most likely to lead someone on for the thrill of it. They’ll also be really supportive and encourage you to go after what you want. They want the best for you.

Cancer: Shy and so sweet. All of their friends are 100% aware that they like you. You can probably know more about how a cancer feels about you by observing how their friends act around you. They are not exactly coy, but more cautious. Lots of soft eyes and smiles. They won’t hesitate to ask if you’re okay or how you’re doing, unless they doubt themselves. If you see them looking at you, they are trying to figure out what to say to you or a way to subtly interact with you. They fear rejection, so they are probably least likely to make the first move.

Leo: They’ll probably flat out tell you that they like you. Everyone within earshot will know it. They get really touchy feely and will play games with you. Footsies under the table. They will say some things and you’ll be like what the fuck are you talking about, but forgive them, it’s their way of being nervous, even if they don’t know it. They’ll want to be around you. They will make more eye contact than they typically would with other people. If they really like you, they’ll adopt this special “voice” which they will only talk to you in. It’s often softer, sweeter, and really irresistible. They can be SO protective (it’s adorable)!! They also try to impress you and it may come off as arrogant, but it’s actually so cute ‘cause they just want you to see how great they are.

Virgo: They will challenge you, but not in the same way that Aries does. Virgos tend to display their more negative qualities (sometimes on accident) to see if you are worth their time. They tend to be very insecure, so they need to know that you will stand by them at their worst. They will certainly pick out your flaws if they like you and may be harder on you because they want you to be the best you that you can be. They may tag along with your friend group to be around you. They often misinterpret feelings so they may share the “hot and cold” nature that Capricorns have because they are paranoid. They’ll open up to you just a bit more than they would with others. They want to make sure you stimulate them intellectually before they get too serious, this is important to them.

Libra: This is a toughy because Libras are generally very charming and likable people. A good way to determine whether they like you is by asking around- if a Libra likes you, they will never say no when asked by others if they like you (unless they have good reason). They will try to be around you frequently and will try to show you their best side. They will treat you differently than other people if they like you, so watch out for any soft voices or loving eyes that they save for only a special someone.

Scorpio: If they give you any special attention at all, this is a good sign. Scorpios are typically indifferent to people who do not interest/benefit them in the slightest. Scorpios are known for their impulsive wit and charm, but can be a bit more awkward (in a cute way) and less witty around their crush. EYES EYES EYES. Expect intense eye contact and lots of “subtle” staring from a smitten Scorpio. They are very protective, sometimes even possessive over their crush. Their eyes will light up with curiosity or lust at the mention of you.

Sagittarius: They try extra hard to make you laugh. They can be very childish and just want you to see the adventure in everything. They will try to impress you with their random acquired skills, which can range from being able to identify every bird in sight to the capability of balancing a pencil on their nose for several minutes. Sometimes they stutter or are more shy around the person they like, which is a telltale because Sags are nearly always outgoing or at least projective of what’s going on with them. They will compliment you a lot. They will try to be what they think you want<—-Capricorns do this too, but they merely deduce your personality and accentuate the features they think you’ll appreciate. While Sags think they are doing what Capricorns do so well, they really need to find someone who will accept them for who they are.

Capricorn: They will be very hot and cold. One day, they can be outrageous and flirty and coy, but you can bet your life that they will go home and overthink it and the next day they will give their utmost effort to avoid you or seem indifferent towards you. This is because Capricorns have a superiority complex, and sometimes a crush makes them feel weak; they are afraid of getting hurt so they will never act too smitten for too long. This is why most Capricorns will not admit to their feelings until they are secure in the fact that you feel the same way. A Capricorn will also try to help you and give you advice, not because they think you are wrong or in need of actual help, but because they care about your well being and want you to live the best life you can. They will try to impress you with their unique talents or philosophies. They can be very coy and charming. Intense eye contact (they honestly believe they can seduce you with their eyes). They are chivalrous regardless of gender; they love holding doors for their crush (like literally all of them do this). Side note: they will never forget a single thing you say or do. Ever.

Aquarius: They will want to hang around you. They tend to be more reserved emotionally, but will mess around with you to cope. Like gemini, they will encourage you to go after what they think is best for you. If you are currently interested in someone else, a crushing Aquarius will not be too fond of said person and try to convince you that you “deserve better.” They will not let conversations die. Aquarians don’t have the greatest attention span so they definitely admire you in some way if they hold convos with you, especially over text. Lots of laughter too!! Lots of staring, they probably won’t even look away when you make eye contact with them. Actually, they may just laugh out loud. They are often more courteous of you than they are with others.

Pisces: Think coy and giggly. They are the ultimate dreamers and will utterly want to share these dreams and desires with you. They can be pretty awkward, but it’s cute. They’ll try to look their best around you. They get a bit shy, but are almost always in a flirty mood. Lots of poking and material stealing and cute doodles. They are the epitome of a “middle school crush” if you get what I mean. The boys tend to be this way more than the girls because sometimes the girls consider it childish. Sometimes. They are most likely to stalk you on social media. Pisces flirt immensely through technology, and are great at sending cute texts or messages. This is often because they stutter or withdraw in real life. If they are single and ready to mingle, you’ll know, with frequent sighs and several exclamations of “no one likes me” followed by insecure laughter. Basically, they’re cute.

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