vampalaurels

[vampalaurels]

did u seriously just equate physical appearance with morality in front of the hoes

[vampalaurels]

"do you seriously think you're above the rules" the stupid ones yeah

[vampalaurels]

2003: It sounds incredible, but in the future whole webpages full of images and videos will load in the blink of an eye.

2023: It sounds incredible, but text-only news articles used to load in the blink of an eye.

[vampalaurels]

[vampalaurels]

mentally i’m a slut physically i’m scared of intimacy 

[vampalaurels]

letting the days go by (letting the water hold me down)

#dance little priest man dance #faith the unholy trinity

[vampalaurels]

It’s funny to me that I’ve met people named Grace, Faith, Patience and Chastity. It is so funny that Puritan names have survived so long and are still so popular if you take a step back and think about it. She’s getting Starbucks today and accusing a townsperson of witchcraft tomorrow.

[vampalaurels]

[vampalaurels]

Rolling up to the knight's guild in a chainmail brayette and low-cut mail chausses watching my fellow knights visibly fluster under their helmets as their gaze follows up to my maille voider scandalously worn without a breastplate

[vampalaurels]

it's always bad for adults to interact with minors, which is why when I was born my mother was positioned at the window and I was birthed down a giant slip n slide that safely transported me to the hospital grounds, where I was quickly accepted and raised by a gang of feral babies who were born under similar circumstances. and that's why my posts are so bad

[vampalaurels]

I don’t care when my tumblr posts flop. My clout awaits me in the Kingdom of Heaven.

[vampalaurels]

the elusive 7 act Structure

[vampalaurels]

I just don’t get it. How can our society act so goddamned normal about seahorses. How can anybody so casually accept that that’s a fish???

This is one of nature’s most anatomically perverse of all beasts. A FISH, like a carp or a bass or a beta is a fish, but it bent its body straight up only to bend its head permanently back down. It stretched its skull into a pipe. It tapered its tail like a lizard, specifically like a chameleon. It can also move its eyes independently by the way, you know, like a chameleon. Fun fact, it can change color to express its mood, like you know whatever does that. It doesn’t properly swim anymore. It buzzes its few remaining fins like an insect’s wings to float itself around at a snail’s pace. It lives its whole life clinging to coral branches or seaweed, which means it decided to become a “tree dweller” in an environment where gravity didn’t even matter anyway. The males get pregnant. They make noises at each other by rubbing some of their neck bones together. Every day, EVERY DAY a mated pair does a little dance and a little neck bone song so they remember which two seahorses they were. They’re a beautiful precious obscenity. Nothing so adorable ever made such a strong case against a logical creator.

They have as little skin and meat as they could get away with. Their skeleton is almost all they are.

[vampalaurels]

Why the fuck would you taste it?!

[vampalaurels]

basement remodeling is going well

[vampalaurels]

I don't trust anyone who hasn't acknowledged their capacity for evil.

[vampalaurels]

#google doc dream diary for myhouse.wad be like