vulcaner

[vulcaner]

Apples are so fucked up you can get two from the same pile ans one tastes more like an apple than anything youve ever eaten and the other tastes like water poisoned by pharaohs

[vulcaner]

you can literally say anything to men, it doesn’t matter

[vulcaner]

the idea of public restrooms as "women's spaces" continues to confound me. you know who I hope is in a public bathroom when I go in?? no one. I would prefer no one else be in the bathroom. and if someone else is in the bathroom I am going to ignore them as much as possible. I did not go into the bathroom to connect with other women. I went into the bathroom to piss and/or shit. it's a toilet's space, not a women's space. shut the fuck up and let trans people piss and shit in peace. let's all continue to avoid eye contact with each other and any and all interaction in the toilet's space.

[vulcaner]

[vulcaner]

how does tumblr even work do you just like talk to yourself until people are like "i like this one"

[vulcaner]

Hey btw, here's a piece of life advice:

If you know what you'd have to do to solve a problem, but you just don't want to do it, your main problem isn't the problem itself. Your problem is figuring out how to get yourself to do the solution.

If your problem is not eating enough vegetables, the problem you should be solving is "how do I make vegetables stop being yucky". If your problem is not getting enough exercise, the problem you should be solving is "how do I make exercise stop sucking ass". You're not supposed to just be doing things that are awful and suck all the time forever, you're supposed to figure out how to make it stop being so awful all the time.

I used to hate wearing sunscreen because it's sticky and slimy and disgusting and it feels bad and it smells bad, so I neglected to wear it even if I needed to. Then I found one that isn't like that, and doesn't smell and feel gross. Problem solved.

There is no correct way to live that's just supposed to suck and feel bad all the time. You're allowed to figure out how to make it not suck so bad.

[vulcaner]

hey boss i can't come in today it's a sunny day and there's a lovely breeze coming in through my window, yeah it's rustling the branches of the tree outside that's finally bloomed so it's pretty serious

[vulcaner]

the idealized version of my tomorrow self will fix this

[vulcaner]

unfortunately a lot of the corny self help advice turns out to be true but the thing is you have to come to those conclusions yourself otherwise it just sounds dismissive and dumb

[vulcaner]

its so hard to be stupid. but somebody has to do it

#😔😔

[vulcaner]

[vulcaner]

truly fucking incredible that the ceo actually thought it was a good idea to post "well if you're all going to be so mean to me then maybe there shouldn't even be a tumblr." incredible that his lawyers haven't told him to shut the fuck up and stop posting through it yet

[vulcaner]

#i found a felled log in a park in ohio #i carved my hand into it #the dead wood gave way easily #and i left the note #touch me #i hope other people have put their hands where i put mine #artists on tumblr #one of my little adventures into animation #i will post the original image too #what kind of #animation #would you call this? #its not typography i dont think

[vulcaner]

who does bro think he is 💀

[vulcaner]

me: *sobbing in the woods*

The eldritch horror that’s been watching me from behind a tree: ….Red Lobster’s hiring.

me: *turns around* oh shit fr?

[vulcaner]

What do you mean all my problems can't be solved by cleaving things in twain with an ancient mighty blade. You're sounding awful cleavable right now.

[vulcaner]

'A Cat's Life - Wonder'by Gérard DuBois