wherescandace

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funny story

when I was little, I would go on Nickelodeon.com all the time and they had this game similar to club penguin except it was called Nicktropolis. and if you forgot your password, a security question you could choose was “what is your eye color?” and if you got it right it’d tell you your password. so I would go to popular locations in Nicktropolis and write down random usernames who were also in those areas, and then i would log out and type in the username as if it were my own and see which of these usernames had a security question set to “what is your eye color?” (which was most of them, since it was easy and we were all kids). i would then try either brown, blue, or green, and always get in, then I would go to their house and send all of their furniture and decorations to my own account’s. and if it I didn’t want it, i could sell it for money

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BRUNO @ ALL OF US WHO THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA LEAVE UPTOWN FUNK IN 2015

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New piece, hope you like it! xo Lang 

………….

My NEW book Memories is now available via Amazon, BN.com + The Book Depository

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me 2 all my mutuals

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lemme hear you say “heeeey mrs. carter!”

heeeeeeey mrs. carter!

say “haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay mrs carter”

haaaaaaaaaaay mrs carter!

GIMME SOME!

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Its not up for debate.

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This guy loves this job!

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-Andrea Gibson

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Incase you want to be even more dead LOL [ full 2016 version ]

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1.7.16

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Just because someone desires you, it doesn’t mean they value you

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100

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stuff we should leave in 2015

1) fucked up hairlines: leave your shitty barber if he leave ur shit crooked or if that shit start growing back in in two days my nigga. he fuckin you up for life, fuck that nigga. shit you could be helping him out since being a barber ain’t his calling. help him find his way. bless up.

2) read receipts off: turn them shits on. who tf gon check you for not responding to a message on a phone that you pay for? own that shit my nigga. yeah bitch i read your message three days ago. no i have not responded, be blessed.

3) going through phones: lemme tell you, your woman/man/etc. is gonna cheat on you if that’s what tf they wanna do. and if they’re smart, they will have already cleared the shit out of the phone anyway. why stress yourself out behind somebody you can’t trust? fuck that shit, leave they ass hangin if you really feel like they’re cheating on you (cuz your gut is usually right)- thank me later. even if they weren’t, at least you can sleep easy now not stressing bout their shady ass my nigga. bless up.

4) feeling bad about your body and not doing anything about it: put down that triple mcchicken and large fry and pick up an apple. drink as much water as you can every single day. go to the gym, work off your anger. watch your body change and shit. or stop complaining about it to everybody around you. bless up.

5) pretending to fuck with people you don’t fuck with: bruh fuck that nigga, fuck that bitch. don’t be a phony ass hoe, cut they ass off. stop tryna “save face”, stop tryna keep people comfortable while you aint comfortable. you’re number 1 my nigga, remember that. bless up.

6) lying to protect feelings: ay man, that shit don’t help nobody. you not sorry? don’t say you sorry. does this shirt look nice on me? no the fuck it does not. you think this haircut fits my face? no the fuck it does not. you got some extra cash i can borrow? no bitch, you ain’t gimme my money back last time. do i look fat in this? yes bitch you gained weight (see previous post). do you like this song i just wrote? no it’s garbage, get a different job. all this lying we’re doing is just making everybody soft. be straight up, be blessed.

7) contemplating sending ‘that’ text: send that shit my nigga. you typed it up so you really feel that shit. fuck what text you get back, don’t be a scared ass bitch. let it fly. bless up.

8) staying stuck with the same music: broaden your horizons, artists and producers work hard to put shit out there for us to hear. listen. i mean dump it if it’s trash, but listen tho. bless up.

9) hating on stoners: don’t waste your energy… we too high to gaf. be blessed, roll a j. 

10) tryna control everything: you only control yourself fam, stop stressing. worry about you, let everybody else do their thing - especially if their thing don’t affect you. mind your business. bless up.

11) asking for head with stanky smelling genitalia: fuckin wash yourself yo. niggas asking for head with sweaty gym balls, bitches wanting head with pussy that smell like a pacific ocean full of dead fish. tf they do that at? you want somebody to get down there and take the soul from your body but they bout to die from toxic fumes. that aint poppin my nigga, take a bath, change your diet, groom your genitals. or be abstinent. bless up.

12) raw fucking people that you can’t co-parent with: wrap up, pop a pill. don’t ruin a kid’s life behind a quick nut. bless up.

13) hyping up people’s sex: be straight up bruh. stop having these niggas thinking they’re sex gods. stop having these hoes thinking their pussy is life-changing. if the sex is trash the sex is fuckin trash b. not saying you gotta leave em, but uh… the sex is trash. sex is important. be blessed.

14) slut shaming: if that lady wants to fuck, let her fuck. stop being salty cuz she won’t fuck you. bless up.

15) not using coconut oil: use that shit, be blessed.

16) being scared: do your thing fam. take that step. shoot your shot. stop thinking your current situation is permanent. that grass could be greener my nigga. i mean it might be brown and trashy, but it could be green af with flowers and shit. man up, woman up, bless up.