witchqueened

[witchqueened]

I feared a wound not of the body but the soul, an irreconcilable division between myself and the rest of humankind. I feared the proof of my own singularity.

Angela Carter, Nights At The Circus

#* character study.

[witchqueened]

We obsess. It’s in our nature. / from caleb!

deathless.

his use of we doesn’t go unnoticed. it’s quite clever, really: an appeal to some shared nature between them, as fellow magicians. to an extent, it even works. aster can count on one hand the number of magicians she’s met on this side of the veil, and she does feel a certain kinship with caleb as a result.

with anguis, it was always we. us, ours. you and i, together alone. he said they were the only ones of their kind, but now aster thinks they were very different kinds after all. she doesn’t yet know what “kind” caleb is.

       ❛ magic— magic is a gift,❜  she tells him. ❛ once you’re given it, it’s yours to do with as you please. and in this country, i’ve seen it do terrible things. ❜  many people wish they could bring reality to its knees, and many people would not use that power kindly, or wisely. she is loath to create another anguis who will bleed the world dry.  ❛ i would not hand you a knife without first knowing how you’ll use it.❜

#* ask. #mightynope #1 day 2 replies look at me go #anyway i think this is re: aster teaching him spells #Initial Distrust Is A Two Way Street Caleb

[witchqueened]

Blue Wave (1903), Charles H. Woodbury / Scavenger Babies, The Mountain Goats

#* aesthetic.

[witchqueened]

You’re lonely too.

deathless.

alice says this with a tender conviction that almost makes aster laugh -- not mockingly, but because it sounds like the other woman expects her to deny the charge, or flinch away like a wounded animal trying to protect its pride. aster has lied to toadying nobles, to city guards, to anguis, but she rarely lies to herself anymore. she is a witch, a queen, a savior, a heretic, and yes: she is very much alone.

she doesn’t think alice will hold that against her.

       ❛ am i so obvious?❜  she asks, one corner of her mouth quirking into a smile. she might be. after all, as much as aster appreciates alice’s help in organizing the royal library, it wasn’t a high-priority task. it can’t have escaped alice’s notice that she does not, inherently, need to be here; but she is here, because aster wants her to be.

       ❛ well, then. ❜  her tone is matter-of-fact, as if she were in a cabinet meeting, settling an itinerary item that had been discussed to some satisfactory resolution.  ❛perhaps we can be lonely together. ❜

#* ask. #thrownsoul #alice i lov u

[witchqueened]

Forever isn’t bright; it isn’t like that. Forever is cold and hard and final. / from nott.

deathless.

       ❛ maybe we’re lucky that nothing lasts forever, then. ❜

she says it with a charming little smile, as if she and nott are sharing some fantastic secret that none of the other children on the playground are allowed to know. but after a moment, the smile dwindles, softens. aster’s gaze drops, settling on the dark veins that snake up her arms like creeping ivy.

       ❛ i knew a man, once, who thought he would rule this land forever. and then i sent him someplace where he can’t hurt it anymore. ❜  ten years ago, it seemed that war would go on forever. until very recently, in fact, aster thought she might never meet another sorcerer this side of the veil -- and then came nott and caleb, and they came with a sort of magic that was foreign, and strange, but magic nonetheless.

       ❛ everything changes, ❜  she says. the smile returns to her lips as she looks back at nott. it’s a small offering of hope. an extended hand. an open door.  ❛ the mountains, the trees-- everything in the world. that’s how you know it’s alive. i think.... i think you just do what you can to make sure that it changes for the better. ❜

#* ask. #mightynope #i hope this hippie philosophical pep talk from the witch queen of angmar is a comfort to you nott #personally i've been staring at it for so long i can't even tell if it makes sense anymore

[witchqueened]

#* the wylderwood.

[witchqueened]

Incision

twitter. ig. merch

#* aesthetic. #hm

[witchqueened]

A revelation is always the end of something. It might even be cause for grief. / from caleb.

deathless.

the queen of amoret has had her share of revelations, and her share of grief.

she remembers the moment she understood that she was not unique among all the world’s creatures: the light glowing in her cupped palms and in anguis’ eyes, and the heart-pounding relief the revelation brought, because to not be unique in the world was to not be alone. and she remembers the ruins of tharn, how anguis’ magic lingered like a brand on the scorched walls, how bile rose in her throat as she finally realized that the hands she had held so many times were dripping with innocent blood.

even then, he hated to see her in pain. (don’t cry, dearest. it was for the best.) and that was a revelation too: she thought a little border village was worth her tears, and he did not.

it is a terrible thing to be the last of your kind, the dragon once told her. it is a terrible thing to be alone. aster knows, now, that perhaps she has always been alone -- one more revelation that brings with it a swell of sorrow.

she looks at caleb, at the hollows of his face, his fire-blackened fingertips. she thinks about the scars that sometimes peek out from beneath his sleeves. if aster could go back in time, she would make the same choices over and over again. she would always go to tharn. she would always learn the truth. she wonders what terrible revelations caleb has had, and if he would say the same.

       ❛ i think, ❜  she says, softly,  ❛ it is better to live with grief than to live a lie. ❜

#* ask. #mightynope #this went off in weird directions but it's the best you're gonna get out of me today

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#* soundtrack.

[witchqueened]

I am a demanding creature. I am selfish and cruel and extremely unreasonable. / frumpkin but he's just communicating this with his eyes, like all cats do

deathless.

the fay-cat  (despite his very skillful impression, the tang of the otherworld clinging to him tells aster that this is no earthly breed)  has apparently claimed her desk chair in her absence. and now he looks at her, luminous eyes blinking a lazy rhythm in the dim light, as if to confirm that he will not be moving until he is good and ready, thank you very much.

she would expect nothing less from a creature of the otherworld. even the most unassuming things in that realm are surprisingly willful; it’s natural to have that boldness, she thinks, when your will can shape the world around you. aster, herself, can be quite contrary. she supposes that demonstrates her point.

regardless, it behooves her to be a gracious host. she crosses the room, kneeling beside the chair to lock eyes with frumpkin.

       ❛ you are a very beautiful cat, ❜  she says solemnly. she has never known a fay to be put off by flattery.  ❛ but i have work to do, so i will make you an offer. if you concede this territory to me, i will warm the windowsill for you to sleep on. ❜

there might even be some papers for him to lay on included in the deal. she is pulling out all the stops for these negotiations.

#* ask. #mightynope #how did i write several paragraphs of aster talking to frumpkin

[witchqueened]

deathless ♚ sentence meme

indiemitchell:

You will always fall in love, and it will always be like having your throat cut, just that fast.

You are going to break your promise. I understand.

You’re lonely too.

It will stop your breath, how cruel I can be.

I am a demanding creature. I am selfish and cruel and extremely unreasonable.

I am your servant.

I crawl at your feet; for before your love, your kisses, I am debased.

For you alone I will be weak.

I belong here, and you will not deny me.

I say these things, and the world listens.

I do not tolerate a world emptied of you. I have tried.

In the dark, I have pored over the loss of you like pale gold.

I will not let her speak because I love her, and when you love someone, you do not make them tell war stories.

I moved the earth and the water for you.

You will always run away with her.

You will always lose her.

You will always be a fool.

You will always be dead, in a city of ice, snow falling into your ear.

You have already done all of this and will do it again.

No one should be judged for loving more than they ought, only for loving not enough.

We look terrible to you, and severe, and you see our blood flying.

What we carry between us is hard-won, and we made it just as we wished it to be, just the color, just the shape.

There need never be any rules between us.

Let us be greedy together; let us hoard.

Do not leave me, swear that you will never leave me.

I am selfish. I am cruel. My mate cannot be less than I.

Sleep with fists closed and shoot straight.

I can’t abide a poor liar.

You look like a winter’s night. I could sleep inside the cold of you.

Oh, quit that. Blushing is for virgins and Christians.

Scold me; deny me. Tell me you want what you want and damn me forever. But don’t leave me.

Bad luck relies on absolutely perfect timing.

In his own country, Death can be kind.

What is the world but a boxing ring where fools and devils put up their fists?

Men die. It’s practically what they’re for.

I am no one; I am nothing.

Nothing in me was not made by you.

A revelation is always the end of something. It might even be cause for grief.

Just tell yourself a story that’ll satisfy you and pretend he told it.

Forever isn’t bright; it isn’t like that. Forever is cold and hard and final.

I savor bitterness - it is born of experience. It is the privilege of one who has truly lived.

If you want to kill yourself, do not use us as your knife.

What did I do wrong? Was I boring? Did I ignore you?

Don’t you dare speak to me like that.

I have worn nothing but blood and death for years.

I have fought all your battles for you, just as you asked me.

I have learned not to cry when I strangle a man.

I have learned to watch everything die.

I am not a little girl anymore, dazzled by your magic. It is my magic, now, too.

Are we not devils?

No one is now what they were before the war.

I have not seen you without your skin on.

Close up your head; your brain is getting loose.

We obsess. It’s in our nature.

I’ve a devil of a habit for being right.

In war you must always choose sides.

If you try to be a bridge laid down between them, they will tear you in half.

We are all dead. All equal. Broken and aimless and believing we are alive.

My old bones will follow yours soon enough.

It is better to be strong and cruel than to be fair.

I will see him with his skin off before I agree to fall in love.

After love, no one is what they were before.

I have survived, but I have not been spared.

In the space of one heartbeat to another I loved you and I was lost to you.

Frighten me, make me cry, only come back.

It’s not so bad, my darling. Being dead. It’s like being alive, only colder.

You’ll think it’s love, while he dines on your heart.

You will be so beautiful when you are old.

I cannot keep you and I cannot let you go.

You will live as you live in any world…with difficulty, and grief.

I look at you and it is like my throat being cut.

She said you’d come and I swore to eat your heart.

I still want to kiss you.

My heart is being cut in two. I cannot bear it.

What happens to anything beautiful?

I have to know, I have to or else you will just rule me until the end of everything because you know and I do not.

#* askmeme. #starters for zoe who is my one (1) follower and the most valid

[witchqueened]

   if you notice anything, it leads you to notice more and more. and anyway i was so full of energy. i was always running around, looking at this and that. if i stopped and thought, maybe the world can’t be saved, the pain was unbearable.   /   a fantasy-based original character. sideblog.

#* sp. #i don't want to figure out what tags to put this in bye

[witchqueened]

Queen Of Peace by Florence + The Machine

#* aesthetic.

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deus salve o rei: selena — chapter 56

#* witch of keld. #ily!!!!

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Louise Gluck, from “Persephone the Wanderer”

#* love is choosing / the snake said.

[witchqueened]

I will tell you what she was like. She was like a piano in a country where everyone has had their hands cut off.

Angela Carter

#* character study.

[witchqueened]

Forest things, gouache and colored pencil on watercolor paper.

#* the otherworld.