woolyspammoth

[woolyspammoth]

I can't believe I'm also doing this

But if this post gets 5K notes (impossible) by April (still impossible) then I'll start a gimmick blog chosen by a poll

Edit: goal changed to 1k because I don't think it's possible to reach 5k. If I do though, I'll add more options to the poll.

[woolyspammoth]

i am. so sorry if i have ever used the phrase “i have an au where—” and led you to believe that there is an actual fic out there for you to read rather than, at best, a post where i explain the concept, and at worst it is simply something that lives in my brain

[woolyspammoth]

something im noticing is the redditors are just commenting on everything via reblogs with reckless abandon. and its so funny bc thats how youre MEANT to use this fucking website but we've trained ourselves out of it somehow.

[woolyspammoth]

something i think a lot of able bodied people dont understand is that being chronically ill affects your emotions. constantly being exhausted and feeling bad is going to make you sad or depressed or angry or jealous. constantly being in pain is going to affect your mental health. never feeling "good" is obviously going to affect the way you act.

[woolyspammoth]

Bodice, 18th century Culture: European Medium: silk, metal thread. | ↳ THE MET

[woolyspammoth]

people moving to tumblr from twitter please fucking reblog art likes literally dont do anything except make the artist upset bc they have 2 reblogs and 55 likes

[woolyspammoth]

Having a vagina honestly sucks bc it's like you have to do fucking alchemy just to prevent yourself from getting sick. You've got an intricate ecosystem of microorganisms down there that you're dependent on for your own well-being and they can be set off by the tiniest fucking thing

Keeping your pubes too short can cause yeast infections, but letting them get too long can also cause yeast infections. Washing the area with specialized soap can help prevent yeast infections, but it can also cause them. Your periods can cause yeast infections, and so can the medicine you take to stop your periods. Having sex can cause yeast infections, especially if the person you're having sex with is diabetic (???). Being diabetic can cause yeast infections. Wearing the wrong clothes or eating the wrong things can cause yeast infections. Not getting enough fucking sleep can cause yeast infections. The list is neverending

Luckily, yeast infections are fairly easy to treat with OTC medicine that you can find at any Walmart. BUT! Even if all of your symptoms indicate that you have a yeast infection, you have to take a test first to confirm that it's a yeast infection (they do not sell the tests at Walmart) bc you might actually have the opposite of a yeast infection (bacterial vaginosis) which has the exact same symptoms as a yeast infection but is caused by an imbalance of different microorganisms. And if you use yeast infection medicine to treat a bacterial infection it will light your pussy on fire. So if you have a bacterial infection, you must instead visit your local witch doctor (gynecologist) and get prescribed special potions (antibiotics) to treat it

Antibiotics can also cause yeast infections

[woolyspammoth]

Tobacco products in the UK have some questionable packaging designed to make people stop smoking. My dear husband may have gotten a little bored today...

I present his creation, still not sure whether to be impressed or mildly disturbed.

#wtf #haunt my dreams #never sleeping again #hi there little fella

[woolyspammoth]

Demons and monsters that torture people because they feed on human suffering are so dumb. People are suffering everywhere my guy go literally any place and take a deep whiff.

[woolyspammoth]

My brother-in-law has a Thing where he gives me increasingly rare copies of The Bee Movie and it’s long since gone from “Goofy running gag” to “I don’t know how much money he’s willing to commit to this bit and it Scares Me.”

Where the fuck can we go from here

[woolyspammoth]

Alina WIP update: having so much fun with this

[woolyspammoth]

the best part of tumblr memeing about ea-nasir is that ea-nasir himself would probably love it. this is a man who hoarded peoples' complaints about his shitty copper. he would find it hilarious that people from 4000 years into the future are making jokes about him. this is likely exactly what he wanted his legacy to be.

[woolyspammoth]

ballister and ambrosius in NIMONA

[woolyspammoth]

Kind of hard to believe there was once a time where a legitimate genre of post was "my mom says if this gets 2k notes she'll buy me a doughnut" and everyone would just. go ham

[woolyspammoth]

this tweet hasn't left my mind once in the two years since it's been posted

[woolyspammoth]

You’re a renowned portrait artist, painting portraits for politicians, celebrities, you name it. Late one night, there’s a knock on your door. A nervous young man stands outside, pale, with elongated canine teeth. He’d like a portrait. Hasn’t seen his own face in over a century.

[woolyspammoth]

shrimps is bugs