wosomarvel

[wosomarvel]

hey y’all

i’m very sorry for being inactive. i’m going through it right now and also dealing with school at the same time. i do have plans for future fics but i can’t put a timeline on anything at the moment. i’m sorry ):

[wosomarvel]

communication - 06

a/n: i'm pretending there are no more injuries! manifesting i guess. i'm so sorry this took so long. the end of the semester was really tough for me but i have the next three weeks off, so i will try my best to get a few more updates out. i'm thinking two or three more parts until this series is over.

warnings: this episode talks (briefly and not in detail) about depression, anxiety, and shitty parents. it's not too bad, though. more hurt/comfort than angst. even then, bordering more on the comfort side.

i am going to once again reiterate that the schedule of games does not follow real life. i'm going based on vibes and vibes alone.

-----

"sim, we need you to settle something for us."

sim's heart dropped at the sight in front of her: mary and millie, both in their training kits, arms crossed with no hints of a smile on either of their faces.

"whatever it is, i'm sure someone else could-"

"it has to be you, because you're the most impartial person here right now," millie cut sim off.

"and we trust you to be honest," mary added.

sim's face contorted with confusion.

"who would win in a fight? me," mary gestured with her hands towards her own body, "or millie?"

"nope!" sim replied to the question. "i refuse to get involved."

sim knew better than to definitively answer any sort of question like that. no matter who she picked, she would pay for it in the form of relentless teasing or tickling.

her eyes darted around the meal room, looking for a savior to come to her rescue. she gulped almost comically when she saw there the few people around were otherwise occupied.

"it's alright, darling, you can admit that i would absolutely wreck mearps here. as vice-captain, i'll make sure she can't attack you for it."

as tempting as millie's offer was, sim was almost certain that millie could only protect her for so long.

"how about i ask the fans?" sim prompted.

now it was their turn to look confused.

"i'll put a poll up on the instagram or something," sim added, pulling her phone out of her pocket.

"see, this is why it was a genius move to hire you. smart, she is," millie praised.

a blush took over sim's face as she fiddled with the phone she'd just pulled out of her pocket.

across the meal room, leah watched on fondly as georgia and keira conversed around her. it was nice to see sim come out of her shell a bit more around the team. though leah still had the distinct feeling that it would be a while before the younger girl felt comfortable being vulnerable around them, it still brought her a sense of relief that sim was no longer so painfully shy. she actively participated in the conversations and shenanigans typical of the team.

the team had taken well to sim's steady presence, adopting her as though she was a playing member of the lionesses.

it had only been a few months since their conversation on those bleachers, but leah could already see the difference it was making. sim looked... lighter, in a sense. like the weight on her shoulders had eased. leah was starting to to see a light in sim's eyes that hadn't been there when they had first met.

"what are you lookin at?" georgia asked.

leah's lips turned up in a slight smile as she nodded her head in sim's direction. "remember how closed off she was when she first got here?"

keira shifted her gaze, smiling when her eyes settled on sim's figure filming mary and millie.

"she's fit in quite well," keira agreed.

"she's cool. she said she'd let me tattoo her once i've properly learned how," georgia added, nodding her head.

"she what?"

-----

sim sighed, settling into soft sheets. sarina had permitted her to room with alessia at st. george's park and sim had never been more grateful.

she closed her eyes, the melody of alessia's singing wafting in from the bathroom, its door left ajar. she let it ease the tiredness that had settled into her bones.

this particular camp was exhausting. she knew it wasn't her job that was draining her energy at this point. the federation had recently hired a few other people to help out in the social media department so sim was now only in charge of the instagram, twitter, and tiktok. the longer form content and brainstorming was no longer under her purview.

sim suspected leah and sarina had something to do with that. she'd been annoyed at first, but was now incredibly thankful for their interference.

despite that, sim was still feeling drained and on edge. it frustrated her that she couldn't put a reason to the way she was feeling.

the past few months had been good to her. her relationship with alessia was blooming into something beautiful. there was no pressure when alessia around, and sim was starting to become accustomed to the light and airy feeling that came with her presence.

sim had fallen into a steady routine. now that her workload with the lionesses had significantly decreased, she had a lot more time on her hands. though her pay from the lionesses hadn't gone down, sim had still taken up a casual job at arsenal as a photographer. though she'd majored in communications in uni, she had minored in visual media.

working with the lionesses was fulfilling, no doubt, but sim missed the more creative aspects of her visual media minor. alessia had proposed the idea of working with arsenal one day during an impromptu photoshoot, sim taking random photos of alessia as they spent an off day lounging at home.

jonas was used to seeing sim's face and after a quick conversation with the higher ups, sim had secured a press pass.

in the mornings, sim and alessia would meet up with beth, viv, and leah for a quick coffee before training. she'd spend the day at colney with the team, taking pictures. she had befriended laura and teyah, the two remaining members of the ACL squad. after training was done for the day, alessia would drive her home, the two spending the rest of the day together.

sim hadn't moved in with alessia, but she spent more nights at the blonde's place than her own.

once or twice a week, sim would accompany alessia to team bonding. she stayed in contact with ella.

sim was content with her life. happy, even.

the way she was feeling now, however, had her scared. scared that the feeling would linger and turn into something heavier. scared that she would slip back into old ways, having to push herself just to get out of bed in the mornings, to eat something, to want to exist.

sim didn't want to go back there. she didn't want anyone to see her like that. more importantly, she didn't want alessia or leah to see her like that. she didn't want to be a burden. the two gunners deserved better than that.

"hey, baby."

sim was broken out of her thought process by alessia's voice, followed by a quick peck to her forehead.

sim hummed in response, moving over to make space for her girlfriend on the bed. alessia set her kit and toiletries off to the side before sliding in beside sim, pulling the comforter over the two of them as the younger girl turned her back to assume the little spoon position.

sim breathed a sigh of relief as alessia's arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her close, almost cradling sim to her front. she felt some of the tension leave her body as alessia pressed a gentle kiss to her neck.

"are you alright, love?"

sim contemplated telling the truth for a moment, ultimately deciding against it. it's not even that bad. i just need to grow up, she reasoned with herself.

"yeah, just tired," sim replied.

"can you turn around for me?"

of course alessia would see right through her. it was honestly frustrating at times.

sim had always been good at lying, something she'd had to learn to survive her parents when she was younger. however, alessia could always tell when sim was lying.

not that sim made a habit of lying to her girlfriend. she just wanted to shield alessia from the darker parts of herself for as long as possible.

"love?" alessia prompted.

sim turned with a sigh, keeping her eyes closed. she would crack as soon as she made eye contact with alessia's baby blue eyes.

alessia's hand came up to sim's face, pointer finger tracing the subtle crease between her eyebrows.

"can you open those pretty eyes for me, baby?"

sim relented, never having been able to refuse a request from alessia. leah never let her forget it.

sim's eyes fluttered open, causing alessia to frown at the clear exhaustion evident in the set of her eyes. "what's wrong?"

again, sim debated whether or not to tell the truth. she had almost settled on trying to lie, but her resolve crumbled at the look of concern painted on alessia's face.

how could anyone ever lie to a face like that?

"everything just feels... heavy. it's hard to explain. it's like my entire being is just exhausted. especially my mind. there's just this weight over everything."

it was silent for a few beats. alessia's hand came to rest on the side of sim's face, her fingers gently scratching at sim's hair.

alessia considered her next words carefully. she was thankful that sim was starting to open up to her and all she wanted to do was help. to alessia, what sim was describing sounded a lot like depression, but she didn't have nearly enough information or qualifications to come to that conclusion. she also didn't want to push too far with her questions and cause sim to shut down again.

alessia settled on a question that would allow sim decide how much or how little to reveal.

"do you feel like that very often?"

"not anymore," sim whispered out, averting her eyes. "it's not that bad right now. i actually feel good most days. i still feel better than i did before the FA hired me. i'm just tired the last few days. don't know why."

though it concerned alessia that this feeling seemed to be somewhat familiar to sim, she was also happy to hear that things were okay at the moment.

"that's alright. everyone has bad days. what do you need from me right now, my love?" alessia asked, pulling sim closer, the hand that was on sim's head pulling the girl's head to her chest.

sim's eyes teared up slightly at alessia's actions. she had never felt so loved and cared for. it quieted the insecurities that plagued her mind, that constantly told her she was too much but at the same time never enough for alessia.

"i just want to be with you right now."

despite the waver in sim's voice, alessia's heart melted.

"alright, love, i've got you," alessia replied, pressing a quick kiss to sim's temple before shifting so she was on her back, sim automatically placing her head on alessia's chest, curling into her side.

sim let the warmth wash over her, grabbing a fistful of alessia's sleep shirt as she tried to snuggle closer.

"thank you," sim breathed, drowsiness starting to take over.

"you don't have to thank me. i'll always be here."

"i love you," sim said without thinking.

there was a moment of silence and sim's heart dropped.

of course, she just had to go and fuck this up too. they hadn't said it yet. why did you have to go and ruin the moment? she thought to herself.

her muscles tensed before she moved to pull away, but she was stopped by alessia's arms squeezing her tighter.

"i love you too," alessia said back. sim could almost hear the smile in her voice.

-----

the lionesses' next game was against spain, a world cup rematch. it went without saying that the girls were a mix of excitement and nerves. everyone dealt with it in their own way.

leah was immersed in film of barca and spain in the days leading up to the match. she remembered how helpless she had felt watching the world cup final and was determined to lead the team to a win this time around. it didn't matter to her that this was a friendly, that great britain had already qualified for the olympics.

millie could often be found beside leah, the two huddled over a tablet.

esme had created so many friendship bracelets that she had to order more thread.

katie had taken a bunch of the girls around town shopping, going to different coffee shops and trying to stay distracted.

ella had organized a mariokart tournament in one of the conference rooms for the girls that had stayed behind.

alessia was beside herself with nerves and had opted to waste away in her room under the guise of resting. sim had tried her best to assure her girlfriend, but her duties as social media admin made it difficult to get time alone with her.

sim was relieved when her latest round of meetings with the other media staff was over. she wanted nothing more than to care for alessia.

sim quietly eased the door open in case alessia actually was sleeping. when she turned after closing the door, it was to the sight of alessia sat on the bed, staring into the space above the television as it played old episodes of friends. her heart panged a little at the sight.

sim walked over to the bed, making a quick plan in her head. she knew that nothing she said was likely to make alessia feel better, so she settled on physical comfort.

alessia was shaken from her trance by the soft kiss sim placed on her temple.

"today's a hair wash day, right?" sim mumbled against alessia's skin, getting straight to the point.

"yeah, why?"

-----

twenty minutes later, sim was sat on the couch with alessia sat on the floor between her legs, the pair watching old episodes of superstore, sim's hands massaging coconut oil into the blonde's scalp.

"how did you even think to do this?" alessia mumbled.

"oiling hair is just a thing desi people do. i don't remember the exact origin. different people use different types of oil for different reasons. my maasi* used to do coconut oil before a wash once a week. in the winter, when our hair was dry and frizzy, she would rub baby oil just into the ends every now and then." (*maasi is mother's sister or cousin sister)

"yeah, but why are you doing this now?" alessia prodded. considering this was the first time she had heard sim voluntarily speak about her family, alessia didn't want to push too hard, but she was curious.

not that she was complaining. the massage was doing wonders for her headache and she was more relaxed than she had felt in weeks.

"just noticed you were stressed. obviously, i've never been in the same situation as you so i can't do much in the way of words. but i remember how relaxing this was for me so i figured i would share," sim replied somewhat sheepishly, hands stilling.

alessia was overwhelmed with affection for the younger girl. it was almost offputting how easily sim could read her, how she could anticipate what alessia needed before she herself knew what that was.

alessia reached a hand up to squeeze sim's arm, unable to vocalize how she felt in the moment.

"the massage part is almost done. then we need to let the oil sit for at least a half hour, and i'll wash it out for you."

the pair fell silent, no words needed between them. when it was time for a rinse, alessia sat on the ledge of the tub, leaning gently on sim's body behind her.

"as much as i am loving this right now, i'm going to have to ask you to hurry it up before i fall asleep here," alessia said, breaking the silence.

sim chuckled softly before turning on the water, using the handheld shower to rinse alessia's hair.

"thank you for this," alessia spoke, grabbing a soft towel to dry her hair off.

"you don't have to thank me," sim said shyly, a blush creeping on to her face.

alessia turned to look at sim, and the younger girl almost melted under the tenderness of alessia's gaze.

alessia knew that it was hard for sim to accept any gratitude, so settled for rushing forward and wrapping the girl up in a tight embrace, arms settling around sim's shoulders as hers wrapped around alessia's waist.

sim rested her forehead against alessia's sternum. sim's family never showed any physical affection, so it had taken her a while to get used to just how touchy her girlfriend could be, but sim would be lying if she said she didn't come to love it.

"let's head to bed, yeah? i'm going to fall asleep standing up and take you down with me. then you'll have two bad knees," alessia giggled.

"and then you'd have to carry me everywhere and we can't have that, can we? because then you'd have bad knees and leah would have my head!" sim replied with a chuckle, turning alessia's giggles into full-blown laughs.

-----

the cloud that seemed to be following sim around refused to fully recede, always lingering around the edges of sim's consciousness.

she had done a well enough job of hiding it from everyone. she'd made the effort not to push people away, but that didn't mean that she was asking for help either.

a part of her still felt ashamed and annoyed at how she was feeling. her life was the best it had ever been, so why was it so difficult for sim to just suck it up and enjoy it?

it was currently match day -1, and the lionesses were doing some light training on the pitch before they would head inside for a film session and tactics meeting.

sim was bundled up against the cold on the sidelines, filming when she needed but mostly just watching her girls work. the jealousy she felt while looking at them hadn't abated completely, but she could mostly shove it down and not let it become a problem.

"how's it going?" ella nudged sim, having made her way over after sarina concluded the training session.

"yeah, i'm alright, you?"

ella wrapped an arm around sim's shoulder, starting the walk back to the locker rooms as she chatted about something joe had said to her a few weeks ago.

alessia stole sim back from ella as the team filed into the locker room.

"hey! you get to see her everyday!" ella whined, making grabby hands as alessia steered sim towards her own cubby.

alessia simply stuck her tongue out at ella before gathering the things she needed for a shower and stepping out.

"oh! my family is all coming out for the game tomorrow, so don't run off with alessia so quick because i want you to meet them," ella said, grabbing sim's arm and setting her down on the bench in front of her own locker.

a nervous smile took over sim's face. "really?"

though the idea of meeting ella's parents was admittedly nice, it make sim more anxious than anything else.

"oh, yeah, they'll probably end up liking you more than me," ella responded jovially, trying to pull sim out of her head.

"speaking of," leah interjected, "sim, do you need tickets for any guests of yours? i can probably get them into the friends and family section."

sim immediately stiffened. she couldn't have this conversation with the team. not today, when she was already feeling so on edge.

"oh. no, i don't have anyone i'm bringing to the match," sim said, trying to make it clear with her tone that this wasn't a topic she was willing to elaborate on.

unfortunately, it seemed no one got the hint.

"what, parents couldn't make it?" millie chimed in.

"nah, they're not around anymore," sim said with a sigh, trying to brush it off with a wave of her hand.

however, it seemed to have the opposite effect. there were a few silent moments of tension before rachel's voice cut through.

"i'm really sorry to hear that."

sim's brow furrowed in confusion before she realized how her statement sounded.

"oh! no, don't be. i'm pretty sure they're still alive, we just don't... we're estranged. we don't talk anymore," sim rushed to clarify. the last thing she wanted at the moment was sympathy. especially when it came to her parents because the truth was, she was much, much better off without them in her life.

there was still a lingering tension in the locker room, though the air had lightened considerably. this was the most the lionesses had heard sim say about her family. even leah didn't quite know what to say. she settled for taking a seat beside sim, whose face still donned the same look of confusion.

she didn't understand why this seemed such a big deal.

"you don't want to reach out? mend things?" rachel continued quietly.

"trust me, it's better for everyone if we stay very far away from each other," sim said with a chuckle.

she cut herself off when she realized no one was laughing with her.

"you can't know that for sure. you should consider extending an olive branch, while you still can." rachel had turned to face sim properly now, almost a pleading note in her voice.

sim's back straightened, hands clenched into fists in her lap.

she took a deep, grounding breath before speaking. "look, i'm telling you, my parents and i do not talk anymore and it's for good reason. i don't owe anyone an explanation. please, drop it."

leah didn't think she had ever heard that level of iciness in sim's tone. she looked at sim, biting her lip as she did. it was like looking at the face of a different person. sim's face was completely blank, not a trace of emotion to be seen.

leah didn't say anything, figuring that rachel would respect the younger girl's wishes and stop pushing.

that didn't seem to be the case.

"i just don't see what could have happened that you're okay with never speaking to your parents again." rachel's voice had taken on an accusatory tone.

millie placed a hand on rachel's shoulder, trying to signal to her best friend that she should stop before things got too heated.

before leah could say something herself to defuse the tension, sim stood abruptly.

"rachel, i respect where you're coming from. really, i do. but i'm starting to get very frustrated with this conversation, so i'm going to leave before i say something i regret."

with that, sim left the locker room, the rest of the girls stunned into silence, only the sounds of sim's cane hitting the floor being heard.

"well, i think that is the politest way i've ever heard someone say 'fuck off,'" said millie.

leah stood to go after sim, but beth beat her to it. "i'll go," she whispered. leah nodded before rounding on rachel.

rachel looked like a fish out of water with the way her mouth opened and closed, searching for words.

"i know your heart was in the right place, but you pushed too hard. just be gentler next time, yeah?" leah asserted, her voice stern but not unkind.

"i'm sorry, i just-"

"it's okay. it's not me that you should apologize to. and don't take her reaction personally, alright? i don't even think alessia knows the full story about her parents."

-----

alessia walked back to her cubby, running a hand through the tangles in her damp hair. by the time she was pulling on a hoodie, she noticed a few things.

for one, her girlfriend was not where she had left her.

secondly, the few stragglers still in the locker room had their eyes trained on her, but averted them when she returned their gazes.

tooney was also stood awkwardly in the space around alessia's cubby, as though waiting for her.

"what?" alessia spoke with a frown, looking to ella when everyone else refused to meet her eyes.

"well..." ella's voice trailed off. she wasn't quite sure how to explain the situation without framing it like an argument and blowing it out of proportion. she did not want to be caught up in the middle of the awkward tension that now permeated the space.

"what?" alessia repeated, her voice now stern.

"look," ella said, holding a placating hand up to alessia, "it's not bad. there was just a conversation about sim inviting her parents and things got a little... tense? but everyone is fine, and beth went to look for sim."

confusion was replaced with concern and a little bit of anger.

"a conversation with who? where is she? is she alright?" alessia rushed out.

"you should hear it from her. i don't know where she is, but beth went to look for her, so it's okay. don't worry. it wasn't a big deal."

that was the thing, though. alessia wasn't sure that it wasn't a big deal.

sim's parents had come up in conversation a few times, but the most sim had ever let on was that they were no longer in contact.

it wasn't for lack of trying. however, the few times alessia had tried to venture further and pushed, sim had shut down, going almost completely silent and stony-faced. each time, it took hours to bring the girl back out of her shell.

the fact that sim wasn't feeling herself recently didn't do anything to ease the concern she was feeling.

with those memories in mind, alessia rushed out of the locker room to find sim and beth herself.

-----

beth looked everywhere for sim. she checked back on the training pitch, in the bathroom, the meal room, the media office, before finding her figure sat in a corner of one of the physio rooms.

beth's heart melted at the expression on sim's face. it was clear from the tightness in sim's jaw and shoulders that she was trying hard to keep her emotions in check.

sim was so caught up in whatever was going on in her head that she didn't notice beth's presence until she felt a hand settle on her clenched fist, forcing it open.

beth frowned at the indents in sim's palm from where her nails had dug into the skin.

"i'm sorry," sim rasped.

"what for? you didn't do anything wrong. i actually think you handled that in a very mature way."

beth's words seemed to fall on deaf ears as sim continued rambling.

"i'm not angry with rachel. i promise, i'm not."

beth shook sim's hand, prompting her to look up. "even if you were angry, you're allowed to feel that way. clearly, she pushed you on a topic that was sensitive for you," beth said gently, almost as though she was explaining something to a child.

"but she didn't know she was pushing. rachel didn't do anything wrong either. i can see where her reaction came from. she lost her father, and i know that he meant a lot to her. she would probably do anything for a little more time with him. i just-" sim ran her free hand through her already messy hair.

beth stayed silent, prodding sim to go on with a nod of her head.

"it's just that not all of us got lucky with our parents. i'm happy she has a great relationship with hers, trust me, i am. but some people have shit parents, and don't want to be pushed into mending bridges that were burned for good reason."

beth noted sim's reluctance to use the word "i" instead of "us" but chose not to say anything. as far as she knew, this was the most anyone had gotten out of sim about her parents.

"her heart was in the right place, but she was still insensitive. she could have been a bit kinder to you. i lost my mum too, so i know where she's coming from, but i also know that not everyone has nice parents like mine or hers. you don't have to defend rachel to me, alright?"

sim nodded, resting her head on beth's shoulder.

"you don't have to talk about what happened with your parents, but i'm here to listen if you decide you want to. i'm sure the same goes for the rest of the girls as well," beth continued.

a comfortable silence fell over the pair. in that moment, sim was overcome with affection. she felt so seen by this new family she had found in the lionesses. unable to voice how much it meant to her, sim tried to put all that emotion into a squeeze of beth's hand.

when beth squeezed back, sim knew her message had been received.

#alessia russo #leah williamson #engwnt #lionesses #woso #ella toone #beth mead

[wosomarvel]

communication - 05

a/n: just some short and fluffy filler. i think we could all use a little bit of fluff right now. everything just feels so heavy at the moment. it's hard to go about my day to day when i know that there are so many people that don't have access to food and water and medication. surgeries happening without anesthesia. and the western world watches. anyway, i hope this gives someone a little reprieve and i hope you guys are staying safe <3.

-----

sim had never considered herself to be an outgoing person. she didn't like noisy environments, flashy lights, or crowded spaces. they made her skin crawl.

which is why she was currently sat down on an uncomfortable plastic chair, wondering why she had ever let ella, alessia, and lotte convince her that she would have a grand time going out to a club with them.

but sim had never been good at saying no, so when the three begged her to come out and make the most of manchester united's road trip to north london, when she saw the pleading look on alessia's face, she had caved. a decision she was now deeply regretting.

sim could feel the thumping bass in her heart. she tried closing her eyes to at least block out one source of stimulation but she could see the lights through the skin of her eyelids.

"sim, come dance, you've been sitting here looking sad all night!"

sim's eyes shot open, falling on ella's poor attempt at puppy dog eyes. sim pressed her lips together in a tight line, her knuckles turning white were they gripped her cane. she could feel a headache creeping in behind her eyes.

"no, thanks, ella. i don't dance." sim was really getting restless now. the feeling of the tags on the shirt she had thrown on almost hurt in a way she couldn't explain.

"oh, come on, don't be a bore. i bet if alessia asked you would join us," lotte snorted from ella's side.

"no, i really don't-"

"just drop it, girls," a familiar soft voice spoke up.

sim turned to see alessia join the group, two glasses of water in hand. she let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. she always felt more relaxed around alessia. alessia made sim feel safe.

"come on, less," ella whined. "she won't drink and now she won't dance? we've got to get the kid to live a little!"

sim stiffened. it was true that she refused to drink alcohol. growing up, she'd witnessed the havoc that alcoholism could wreak. she was grateful that her father hadn't been a violent drunk, or even an angry drunk, but she'd seen enough from her cousins, aunts, and uncles to know what that could look like. knowing that alcoholism ran in both sides of her family, she was not willing to take any chances.

of course, sim hadn't mentioned any of this to ella. tooney just thought she was stiff and no fun. sim was completely fine with that.

"alright, tooney, it's time to let it go. you're gonna scare the poor girl away!" lotte chimed in, sensing that maybe this was a bit deeper than she initially thought.

sim relaxed a little, thankful for the relief in the tension she was starting to feel.

"oh, fine, lotte, let's go dance. less, you coming?" ella relented.

"nah," the taller blonde replied. "just gonna chill out for a bit. i'll join you later," she added, placing a hand gently on sim's back.

sim relaxed further, leaning into the warm touch, letting the weight ground her.

"you want to get out of here?"

"no, i'm alright. i might call myself an uber later, but really, i'm okay." the last thing sim wanted to do was make alessia go home when she knew how much alessia had missed ella.

alessia turned sim towards the door, her hand staying in its place on the girl's back, a gentle guide as she walked sim out.

"it's alright, love. you seem off, and i'm starting to get a headache. let's go."

sim's cheeks warmed at the pet name. she and alessia had been dancing around the unspoken feelings between them for months, both of them waiting for the other to broach the topic.

sim had endured endless teasing from millie and rachel during national team camps, and beth made sure to fill the time in between.

unbeknownst to sim, alessia had received the same treatment from ella. at first, the rest of the lionesses had found it amusing how obvious their feelings were to everyone but themselves. as time moved on, it had almost become annoying. they'd hoped the teasing would force one of you into making a move.

so far, no luck.

-----

"so, you want to tell me what had you so shaken up?"

sim and alessia were settled on the coach in alessia's living room, an episode of brooklyn nine-nine playing softly on the television.

"it's stupid," sim muttered under her breath.

"well, how about you tell me and i'll decide if it's stupid," the blonde replied, offering sim her hand when she noticed sim picking at her skin.

sim sighed, starting to play with alessia's fingers. "it's just-" sim stuttered, hesitant.

"go on," alessia prodded gently.

"i have... issues? with sensory overload. and the loud music with all the voices and the flashing lights is a lot. and it was just so crowded and everyone was bumping into me. there was someone beside me with the scratchiest crop top and people were stepping on my feet and- now i'm rambling. just- sometimes there's just so much of everything that it hurts. god, that doesn't even make sense. i know it's stupid and i can't just expect for the world to cater to my needs-"

"hey," alessia interrupted. "stop calling yourself stupid."

sim withdrew her hand from alessia's, looking everywhere but alessia's face.

alessia reached out to pull sim into a hug but hesitated, letting her hand hover just over sim's shoulder. she didn't want to add to whatever sim was feeling.

"can i hold you?" alessia asked, trying to keep her voice as low as possible.

"please," sim whispered.

sim relaxed into alessia's body, letting the warmth and pressure of alessia's arms ground her.

"it's not stupid, love. i'm glad you told me, but i'm sorry if we made you feel like you had to come out with us," alessia murmured into sim's hair.

"it's not your fault that i'm too scared to say no," sim grumbled bitterly. really, sim would prefer to shift the topic away from her inadequacies, but she had a feeling alessia wasn't going to let this one go.

"sim, i'm going to ask you to be a bit nicer to yourself. maybe your boundaries haven't been respected in the past, but i want you to know that that won't happen here. i want you to feel safe in saying no. we can practice setting boundaries, yeah? we're all wired a bit differently. it's okay if you experience sensory overload more than others. if you want to stay in next time, then i'll stay in with you."

sim turned slightly, tucking her face into alessia's chest, the older girl's fingers coming up to rub gentle shapes on the back of her neck.

sim knew she was screwed. alessia was just too perfect. she made her feel okay.

actually, alessia made sim feel more than okay. she made sim feel content, more than she'd ever felt before. she made sim feel like more than just the sum of her past.

for years, sim had felt like she was just wandering aimlessly through the world. frankly, sim found it pathetic how alessia showing her even the most basic level of respect had her feeling like maybe she could belong somewhere.

sim lifted her head from where it was resting on alessia's chest, her brown eyes meeting alessia's blue.

"i always feel safe with you, less," she whispered.

warmth flooded alessia's cheeks as she smiled softly down at sim.

sim found herself frozen, unable to utter a single word.

"can i kiss you?" alessia breathed, trying and failing to keep her voice from wavering and betraying her nerves.

sim didn't trust her own voice so she nodded, not quite believing that smart, intelligent alessia wanted to kiss her.

alessia's free hand came to rest tenderly on sim's cheek, thumb making sweeping motions across the soft skin as she examined sim's face for any sign of hesitation. not finding any, she tilted sim's face up before leaning in to place a gentle kiss to her lips.

it was short and sweet, but conveyed so much emotion and sim tried her best to match what alessia was making her feel.

alessia pulled away after a few seconds, watching in awe as sim's eyes fluttered back open, a smile taking over the younger girl's face.

sim's face flushed at the look of pure adoration on alessia's face. she tucked her face back into alessia's sweater.

"are you getting shy on me?" alessia giggled, placing a soft kiss on the top of sim's head.

sim nodded.

"was that okay?" alessia's voice revealed a hint of insecurity, causing sim to remove her head from its resting place to look up at her.

"it was perfect."

alessia's face broke into a wide grin, arms squeezing sim closer.

"be my girlfriend? i mean, i know usually i'm supposed to ask you on a date first, and of course i want to do that, but i just think because we already know each other so-"

"you want me to be your girlfriend?" sim lifted herself out of alessia's embrace, an incredulous look taking over her face.

"unless you don't want to!" alessia scrambled, eyes wide with sudden panic.

"no, i do, of course i want to be your girlfriend but..." sim trailed off, hand coming up to scratch behind her ear before alessia took it between her own, pressing a kiss to sim's knuckles.

"hey, i told you i want you to feel safe with me. we can take this as slow as you want. can i ask why you're hesitating?"

sim sighed. how had she lucked out like this? alessia was so perfect. but that's where her hesitance stemmed from.

"less, you could do so much better. i- i have a lot of baggage, y'know? and i've never done anything like this before." sim gestured between the two of them as if to emphasize what this was. "i've never been in a relationship before. hell, i've never even kissed anyone before this."

sim was starting to work herself up. the feelings of contentment she had experienced just moments before had disappeared, giving way to exasperation.

who was she kidding? alessia was way out of sim's league.

"can you look at me, sim?"

startled by the unusual use of her name in place of a pet name, sim's eyes shot back to meet alessia's.

"i want you. i am choosing you as you are. baggage or not, inexperienced or not, doesn't matter to me. i want you, exactly the way you are. i wouldn't change a thing."

alessia topped off her statement with a gentle kiss to sim's hairline.

"so, be my girlfriend?"

a dopey smile took over sim's expression.

"of course."

-----

a/n: anyone catch the high school musical and camp rock references?

#alessia russo #engwnt #leah williamson #lionesses #woso #ella toone #arsenal wfc

[wosomarvel]

communication - 04

alrighty, here it is. definitely not my best work, but i wanted to get something out before the second round of midterms starts.

i also got tickets to sinc's last international game so i am in a great mood and managed to write this in the span of an hour.

enjoy!! as always, i am open to feedback <3

this one is very angsty but with a nice dose of comfort as well.

-----

leah was worried. very worried.

the last time she'd heard from sim was over a week ago when she'd texted her a "got home safe" after camp was over. it didn't help that sim had been closed off since the conversation leah had overheard.

at first, leah thought that maybe she was just overreacting. that was before alessia had approached the captain, asking if she knew why sim was suddenly avoiding everyone after having been so joyous after the match.

leah thought she'd give the younger girl some space after everyone went back to their clubs, but on the third day after their return, leah had had enough. she'd gone to sim's apartment with two coffees from the cafe they frequented.

she gave up knocking on sim's door after the ice in her cold brew melted.

it didn't come as a surprise to leah that sim had shut down. she'd always been resistant to talking about her feelings, but leah hadn't expected her to just vanish. leah had spoken to beth, ella, alessia, and even sarina, hoping that sim had reached out to one of them.

her attempts were fruitless. it was during this time that it dawned on leah how little she actually knew about her friend. she had no idea where to look for her, or who else might have a clue where to start. she didn't even know if sim had any family.

logically, leah knew that this was by design. it wasn't that leah hadn't tried. in fact, it often frustrated leah that sim was so good at avoiding talking about anything from before they had met. and it wasn't that leah didn't know sim that well. she just didn't know about sim. she knew her favourite colour, knew how to read her emotions, how she liked her coffee, how kind she was even when she pretended not to care.

that didn't stop the pit of guilt that settled in leah's stomach like a 50lb dumbell she couldn't shake.

"still haven't heard from her?" viv asked, bringing leah back to her surroundings.

leah shook her head in response as she changed out of her training kit. "obviously, i want her to talk to me, but i'd honestly just settle for knowing that she's safe."

viv placed a hand on leah's hunched shoulder, taking a seat beside the english captain as alessia rushed into the dressing room.

"leah!" she panted, holding out her phone. leah took a look at the screen. all she saw was a pin on a map of north london.

"what am i supposed to be looking at?"

"it's sim, i sent her a voice note before training, just asking if she could please just let me know she's alright and she sent me her location and leah-"

"alessia," leah said, standing up and grabbing the girl by her shoulders, "breathe."

alessia took a deep, grounding breath as prompted, before continuing in a much less frantic tone: "she sent me her location. she's really close with you and i want you to come with me to go get her."

leah nodded before pulling alessia in for a quick hug, planting a soft kiss on her forehead. "get changed and meet me by my car. i'll drive."

-----

no sound is as annoying as the shrill voice of an overbearing parent at a kids' sporting event. at least, not to sim. a small voice in sim's head was genuinely impressed with how the sound carried from beside the pitch, all the way up to where she was sitting in the highest row of the bleachers.

she could hear it over the rushing wind in her ears and it made her sad to think that one of those kids on the pitch was going home with parents that cared more about winning than having fun. she wished she could rush down there and give those parents a piece of her mind.

then she remembered that she shouldn't even be here.

the last week had been a blur. sim knew it wasn't healthy to shut down the way she had, but she feared that if she didn't, she would break down. she felt pathetic. one conversation with her old uni rugby coach shouldn't have her spiraling like this.

somewhere between pretending that she was fine and missing her sport so much, sim had found herself itching to be near the game again. sat there at a random children's recreation league rugby game, she could hear the voice of her own parents in her head.

weak.

pathetic.

embarrassing.

she should never have come here. she was only hurting herself more.

it's just a stupid game. get over yourself.

caught up in her own head, sim barely registered the two women that moved to sit on either side of her. it wasn't until she felt a hand settle on her knee that sim came back to the moment.

she wasn't surprised at their presence. as much as she tried to convince herself that the only reason she had sent alessia her location was to put a stop to all the frantic messages, a small part of her secretly yearned for the comfort of her presence.

"we were worried about you, y'know," leah spoke softly.

sim shook leah's hand off her knee. "you shouldn't have been."

alessia's heart broke at the hoarseness of sim's voice and the way the younger girl seemed to shrink into herself. she wished she could show sim that she deserved to have people care about her.

she reached over and took sim's hand into her lap, intertwining their fingers before squeezing gently.

"we worry because we care about you, love," alessia spoke, voice gentle. sim ignored the way the term of endearment felt like a warm blanket of security. she refused to let herself feel anything, not wanting to break down in front of the two women she considered her closest friends.

"you don't have to talk about whatever is bothering you, but just let us be here for you," leah pleaded.

as much as sim wanted to keep her friends at a distance, she so badly craved the comfort she knew they could provide. it was something she'd always struggled with.

growing up, sim had learned very quickly to make herself as small as possible, to never be a bother or a burden. she'd learned to make herself easy to be around, easy to love.

"i don't want to bother you," sim murmured, trying her best to keep her voice level.

"babe, you could never bother me. don't know about leah, though. she's like a universal older sister. anything anyone does might annoy her," alessia said with a smile, feeling a sense of accomplishment at the way the corners of sim's mouth turned up.

"hey!" the skipper retorted as she reached across sim's body to smack alessia's chest.

there was a beat of silence in which sim tried to muster up the courage to actually say something. she tried to ground herself in the pressure and warmth of alessia's hand in her own, focusing on the sensation of the pad of alessia's thumb rubbing soft circles into the back of her hand.

"it was my safe space," sim finally let out.

"sorry?" leah's soft voice questioned.

"the pitch. it was my safe space," sim repeated. "it didn't matter what was going on at home, at school, or at work. when i was on the pitch, i was... free, i guess," she stated, though it came out as more of a question. she'd never tried putting it in words before, never tried to vocalize exactly how much rugby meant to her.

"when i was playing, it was like i could fly. i was good, too. i played on the youth teams for the red roses a few times. i went down two days after my first senior call up."

the confession seemed to take the wind out of sim. the hunch of her shoulders and way she couldn't seem to even lift her head up was almost pitiful.

alessia removed her hand from sim's grip, instead choosing to wrap an arm around her shoulder. alessia pulled sim into her side and squeezed, hoping to provide as much comfort as she could. she knew her words would do little to help.

alessia settled on a simple "i'm sorry, love."

"what's done is done," sim answered with a shrug.

leah's eyebrows furrowed as she frowned quizzically. "can i ask why the injury is permanent? surely they could have at least helped you walk again?"

sim sighed and leah's heart broke at the defeat painted clearly in her features.

"leah... football is your job. i know there's still a long way to go in terms of investment in the women's game, but you have to understand that the resources you have are not the same as what i had. when i got hurt, i wasn't just in school. i was working and i couldn't afford to just take time off and heal.

"i didn't even get a scan on my knee until i showed up to the next practice a week later and my coach drove me herself. i wasn't resting either. i probably made the injury worse because i had to go to work and class, so i was just taking painkillers and walking my way through things like normal. i couldn't afford to stop. and when i was waiting for surgery after the scans, i was still working. you got your surgery from a top surgeon relatively quickly. i didn't have that same luxury.

"after surgery, i didn't have time to go to all the physical therapy appointments. i was fitting in sessions at the university when i had time but it wasn't enough. i still had to go to work. between my job, the wait time for the surgery, and my non-existent rehab, i was never going to make a full recovery."

leah felt a surge of guilt after hearing sim's explanation. she had always been humble and made it a point to never take her situation for granted, but sometimes she forgot her own privilege.

"i'm sorry. i didn't-"

"you have nothing to be sorry for. it's not your fault you had better access than i did. just the way things go," sim cut her off, shrugging alessia's arm off her shoulder.

sim didn't want their pity. she didn't want them to feel bad for her.

"i know that it's been a long time now and i should be over it, i know that but-" sim cut herself off, carding a shaking hand through her hair, pulling on the strands in an attempt to ground herself.

"it's just that rugby was everything to me. it's all i had. it was the one thing i was good at, and without it i'm lost, y'know? i don't know who i am if i'm not an athlete. i'm not good for anything anymore."

sim's voice cracked on the last word, the sound like ice being dropped into hot water. it brought tears to leah's eyes to see how much sim had been struggling, how she thought so little of herself.

she gently caught hold of sim's hand, flattening it against her own thigh to stop the girl from hurting herself.

"that's not true," alessia said firmly, once again wrapping her arm around sim. "you are so much more than your injury. you're quiet, but you light up every room you walk into. you are so kind and you make everyone around you feel safe. you're funny, and thoughtful, and smart, and i think you get the point now but you're wrong if you think you're not worth anything if you can't play," alessia rambled, red rushing up her cheeks.

sim shook her head almost imperceptibly. it's not that she thought alessia was lying. that wasn't it.

how could alessia be so sure about her when she didn't even know who she was?

leah squeezed the hand still pressed against her thigh. "sweetheart, look at me," she prompted softly.

again, sim shook her head.

leah let go of sim's hand, instead placing it at the back of sim's head and using a thumb to angle it towards her own. she didn't miss the way sim's brown eyes bounced around their surroundings, refusing to land on hers for more than a second at a time.

she decided to let it slide for fear of pushing sim too hard. she'd only just gotten the younger girl to open up and was reluctant to risk another shutdown.

"it doesn't matter that you got hurt a while ago. you're allowed to feel however you feel about it. when i tore my ACL, i was a mess. i held it together on the pitch, but i was inconsolable. i was in a really dark place for quite a while. i know our situations aren't the same, but i felt lost, too. i realized that my identity as a person was tied to my performance as an athlete and it wasn't healthy. but i had beth and viv to help me out of it and i want you to let me do the same for you. less is right. you are so much more than what you can do on the pitch. and it's okay that you're feeling lost and you don't know who you are. we can find out together, yeah?"

a choked sob escaped sim's mouth, causing leah to immediately stand up in front of her, carefully pulling her head into her body.

leah didn't care that her shirt above her stomach was slowly becoming soaked with sim's tears. she let her fingers scratch gently at sim's scalp, relieved that the girl was finally letting it out.

as alessia kept a firm grip on sim's shoulder, she made eye contact with leah standing above her. a silent sense of understanding seemed to pass between the two lionesses.

they were prepared to do anything to make sure sim didn't carry her emotions on her own again. the pain they felt at seeing their friend so broken wasn't something they wanted to feel again, but they would do it over and over a million times just to make sure she wasn't alone.

-----

"so she lives!"

it was katie's turn to host the rest of the gunners for dinner this week. sim's absence from the last two team events hadn't gone unnoticed.

though sim wasn't a part of the team, they had all quickly grown accustomed to her appearance at the side of alessia, leah, and recently beth. she might not have played for the team, or even worked for them in any official capacity, but they had taken her in all the same.

sim would never be able to articulate just how much that meant to her. she went from not having any family to having found her place in two: the lionesses, and now arsenal as well.

"so where'd you run off to, anyway?" steph questioned.

"your mum's house. she says hi, by the way," sim quipped.

there was a beat of silence before a burst of raucous laughter took over katie's living room.

a playful scowl took over steph's face. "you've been spending too much time with mccabe."

#alessia russo #engwnt #leah williamson #lionesses #woso #arsenal wfc

[wosomarvel]

communication - 03

i thought i'd let you guys know that this takes place after the wwc, but i will probably stray from what happens in real life from here on out.

also i am taking 6 classes this semester so i apologize for slow updates! i promise i do have a plan for where this story goes and roughly how long it will be. i'm sorry this took so long, but hopefully i can get another update out within two weeks because my first round of midterms is over.

-----

"how's your rehab going?"

sim never liked questions like that when she'd had her surgeries on her knee. the same question that everyone she talked to had asked her. she hated the repetitiveness of it. she hated the pitying gazes she got when she told the other person that her rehab wasn't going at all, that she'd never step foot on the pitch again.

but she'd asked leah the question anyway. she knew that having to miss out on yet another lionesses camp had to be weighing on her friend. sim knew leah probably felt that as captain, she couldn't talk to anyone on the team about feeling left out and probably felt she had to put on a supportive front for the team.

she'd asked leah because she wanted her to know someone was there to listen.

"i'll be running on grass again next month, so i'm not too concerned," leah answered, setting a cup down on the coffee table before settling down on the sofa across from sim with her own.

as camp was nearing, sim made an effort to spend more time with the older girl and had become quite familiar with leah's comfortable flat a few minutes away from london colney.

"i meant... like emotionally. can't be easy watching your team play from the crowd. i know you're still going to camp to support, but being that close and not being able to play..." sim trailed off.

sim had great admiration for the support leah had shown the lionesses from off the pitch. attending the world cup, attending camps to support coaching staff, and doing anything just to be involved wasn't something sim thought she could've handled if she'd been in leah's position.

sim fought back a surge of bitter jealousy when she reminded herself that it was different. leah would get to play again. and even though it had only been a year and a half since sim's own knee reconstruction, the doctors hadn't tried to sugarcoat the low chances of her ever regaining the ability to run, let alone play rugby at the level she had been before it all went to shit.

but she pushed all of it down and away. if she didn't think about it, she could pretend like everything was normal. like she was just out with a sprain for a few weeks and any day now she'd be making her return to the forward pack.

it was less painful to pretend, and if there was one thing sim was good at, it was pretending.

"it's still tough, but i'm not struggling as much as i did at the start. playing again seemed so far away right after the surgery but i think being there for the girls has helped me keep me motivated."

sim nodded at leah's answer, sending her a soft smile before reaching for the cup she'd placed in front of her.

"i appreciate you checking in," leah spoke. there was another beat of silence, almost like the gunner was testing the field before speaking again hesitantly. "what about you?"

sim could feel leah's eyes boring into the side of her head, the weight of the curiosity and concern in her gaze.

sim pulled a long sip of coffee. "well, rehab for me isn't really a thing anymore. they did what they could. this is the best it's going to get."

leah cringed at the iciness that took over the younger girl's tone. she didn't miss the way sim's whole body straightened, muscles taut with tension.

"you know that's not what i meant," she said, her voice soft. she set her coffee cup down on the table, reaching for sim's and doing the same. "how are you dealing with it?"

sim wasn't dealing with it. but she knew that wasn't the answer leah was looking for. she forced herself to relax, painting a smile on her face.

she hoped it was believable.

"it's been almost two years now. i'm over it," she replied with a shrug.

leah took note of sim's seeming nonchalance. the blonde knew it was a facade. sim might be trying her best to claim she was fine but leah knew better.

her ACL injury was hard enough even when she knew she'd make a full recovery. that knowledge hadn't stopped her from itching to rush back. if leah hadn't had the support system she did at the time of her injury, she'd be in much worse shape. physically and mentally.

her heart broke for sim, knowing she didn't have the comfort of making a full recovery. sure, they'd only known each other for just under a year, but leah could see the way sim's reduced mobility was eating away at her.

it was apparent in the look in her eyes when she observed the girls playing football, when she thought no one was paying attention to her. it was apparent in the way sim never let herself rest for a moment, in the way she avoiding talking about rugby, in the way she never talked about her life before the injury.

plus, from what leah could tell, sim didn't have anywhere close to the support system she herself did. sim hadn't even discussed her injury in detail with leah, and the pair were the closest from anyone else on the national team.

knowing what she had gone through with her own fight back to playing football, leah could not imagine what it would feel like if she'd never be able to play again. if she hadn't had her friends, family, and teammates by her side.

"you don't have to do that."

"do what?" sim replied, shrugging her shoulders.

"pretend."

"i'm not," sim defended. "it's in the past. no point dwelling on it. i don't like to think about it."

leah sighed, but decided not to mention that not thinking about it wasn't healthy. sim wouldn't be receptive to further pushing.

instead, she resolved to try and bring the girl out of her shell during camp. she only really talked to leah, beth, alessia, and tooney. maybe, leah thought, maybe she'd click with one of the other girls.

-----

"what are you doing here so early?"

sim jumped, almost dropping the coffee she'd picked up from the meal room at st. george's park.

"i could ask you the same thing," she quipped back.

"i'm filling in as captain, aren't i? got to take it seriously while leah recovers," millie replied.

sim smiled at the thought. this would be leah's first national camp in almost a year. though the older girl wouldn't be fully training with the team, sim knew she was happy just to be back in the environment.

"i'm just getting my equipment set up. i'm going to try and get shots of everyone arriving to camp. i'll clip that together really quick for the socials, shouldn't take too long, but if i set everything up right now i should be able to get shots of training on one of the better cameras, and i'll be pulling some of you lot aside for que-"

sim was cut off my a smack to the shoulder.

"hey!" she whined, rubbing her shoulder with her arm.

"sorry, love, you just kept on rambling and i couldn't get a word in to stop you," millie explained with a grin. sim blushed a deep red, smiling at the ground sheepishly. "and listen," millie added, "don't stress too much about it, yeah? you're good at your job and this team is a lively bunch. you just have to point a camera at tooney for a minute and you're guaranteed content."

sim nodded in response, forcing herself to relax. millie was right. you'd be hard pressed to find a slow day with the lionesses.

millie was proven correct within the next half hour. sim decided to forego using one of the higher end cameras to film the team's arrivals as she was quite aware of their propensity for hugs. settling for using her phone and a tripod for this bit, she'd only been stationed by the entrance for ten minutes before ella came bounding towards her.

"what've you got that cane for, grandma," she teased, throwing an arm around sim's shoulders.

"it's easier to hit you with, isn't it?" sim grinned. katie zelem snorted as she walked up behind the two at a normal pace. sim rolled her eyes playfully, spotting the pout that had taken over tooney's face. "nah, honestly, it's just easier to use and doesn't hurt my ribs as much."

it was true. if the perpetual bruise on her side was anything to go by, sim's prolonged use of a crutch wasn't exactly convenient. she'd made the decision to switch to using a cane instead, teasing be damned.

"good for you, then." the sincere look on ella's face caught sim by surprise, causing her to tear up a little, something that wasn't missed by zel.

"right, who are you and what've you done with ella?" zelem chortled, steering her into the building. sim sent a grateful look her way before getting back to work.

sim didn't know why such a simple comment had her on the verge of tears. she brushed it off as a result of the wind, rather than acknowledging that ella's sincerity had made her feel cared for in a way.

god forbid sim let herself feel an ounce of regular human emotion.

-----

millie might've been right about the ease of capturing content, but that didn't make editing any less of an absolute nightmare. in fact, sim would argue, the chaos of the lionesses only made it more difficult.

the chaos wasn't all bad; it certainly made for some funny clips that could be put together for videos sim knew the fans would love. when it came to more structured videos, however, the process was an extremely tedious one. she was currently working on a best friend challenge video for the youtube, trying to find a balance between letting the girls' personalities shine through in all the giggles and off-topic conversations and keeping the actual challenge front and center. sim didn't know how she was going to manage both without making the video about thirty minutes long.

"couldn't sleep?"

sim was snapped out of her trance by a soft, familiar voice.

"something like that," she replied as alessia took a seat beside her at the meal room table. "what about you? it's two in the morning. shouldn't you be resting for the game tomorrow?"

sim directed her attention towards the slightly older blonde, pushing her laptop shut when she noticed the troubled look on her face.

"hey, what's wrong?" sim inquired.

"it's stupid," alessia mumbled.

"if it's bothering you enough to have you up at this hour, it's anything but stupid. you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but i'm here if you do," sim spoke softly.

"i just-" the forward stuttered. "we lost the world cup final. then i come to arsenal and i miss a penalty kick and we're out of the champion's league. what if i don't-"

"right, i'm going to stop you right there," sim interjected, turning to face alessia. she reached to grab one of the girl's hands, rubbing soothing circles on the back with her thumb. if sim had learned anything in the months she'd spent building a friendship with alessia, it was that she responded well to touch.

"look at me, less," sim prodded softly. when her own brown eyes met blue, she continued. "i watched all your games at the world cup. i've watched all the arsenal games that i could. you are absolutely tearing it up. you made the world cup roster for a reason. if you don't think you're an adequate player, i've got hours of footage that proves otherwise. and even if you have a bad game tomorrow, that doesn't take away from the fact that you're a stellar player, and it sure as hell doesn't make you any less of a wonderful person. do you hear me?"

sim smiled when she saw some of the tension leave alessia's frame. "yeah," she replied, voice so soft that if sim hadn't been listening, she would have missed it.

before she could say anything else, alessia leapt onto sim, squeezing her in a tight hug. "thank you," she whispered into sim's neck.

sim was caught off guard, but after a few moments of hesitation, wrapped her own arms around alessia's frame, rubbing circles on her back.

"let's get you back up to bed, yeah?"

-----

"told ya you'd kill it," sim said, grinning as she pointed her camera at less.

the lionesses had just won their first olympic qualifying match, and sim was tasked with getting some celebration shots.

this was her favourite part of the job: getting to capture such pure joy after matches was something sim would never get tired of.

"oh, shut it," alessia laughed as she made her way back to the locker room. sim missed the way her face flushed.

"nice header you had, hempo," sim called out to lauren.

"nah, it was the cross from rach that should get the credit," she replied, shooting the camera a quick smile.

"charmer, that one," millie joked as she bounded through the hall, arms tangled with rachel's.

sim chuckled, shaking her head as she trailed after the pair on her way the locker room. she was greeted by the sight of ella, georgia, alessia, and jordan dancing around the room as music played through a portable speaker sat on one of the benches. it soon fell silent as sarina walked in.

sim got a quick shot of the post-game brief before shutting the camera off. she made to leave, but sarina's voice stopped her in her tracks.

"sim, there's someone waiting for you in the car park. says she coached you in uni?"

sim tensed. the last thing she wanted was for her two worlds to mix. she didn't like to think about her life before her injury. she'd completely isolated herself after her surgery. the only interactions she'd had with her former teammates and coach since then were when they'd run into each other at school. after graduation, she'd cut them off and she wasn't eager to reconnect.

sim sighed and contemplated her options. she could either confront her feelings and have a chat with her coach, or she could continue to live as she had been, pretending everything was fine and devoting herself to the life she'd created in london.

unsurprisingly, sim chose the latter. without acknowledging sarina's words at all, she swiftly left the room, her camera dangling like a pendulum from the strap around her neck.

-----

sim was so caught up in lugging her bag back to the bus, intent on keeping her head down and ignoring her surroundings, that she'd completely missed leah waiting by the back entrance for the rest of the team.

the older girl frowned to herself in confusion. something was off about sim's demeanor. she seemed rushed in a way that indicated she was running from something. leah pushed herself off the wall she'd been leaning on and made to follow the younger girl outside.

she'd only just exited the building when she caught sim's wavering voice.

"please, i don't want to speak with you, jen," sim let out, almost pleading.

leah knew that she was listening in on a conversation not meant for her ears, but her concern for the girl who'd become somewhat of a little sister to her outweighed her consideration of sim's privacy.

"i just want to check in. we haven't spoken since-"

"how did you even find me?" sim cut off the unfamiliar voice.

"you hadn't responded to anyone's messages so i asked around. one of your professors mentioned you got a job in media here. i already had tickets."

"usually, when someone doesn't respond to messages, it means they don't want to speak with you."

leah was taken aback at how cold sim's voice was. she almost didn't recognize it.

"look, sim, the girls miss you. they miss their captain. just- i get that you don't want to talk, but if you ever need anything, we're here, okay? there's an assistant coaching position open for you, always. it's been cleared by admin-"

"i appreciate the offer, but i'm fine, okay? now, i've got footage to edit and post, so i'm leaving."

leah frowned. sure, sim wasn't the most extroverted person, but leah had never heard her be so short with someone. sim was one of the kindest people she knew. her heart hurt for the younger girl. sim was clearly still going through a lot and leah just wished sim would let her help.

hearing a bit of commotion, leah turned around to notice some of the team making their way towards her. she rushed off to the bus, where sim was undoubtedly burying herself in work, once again. leah wanted to sit beside the girl on the way back to st. george's and offer what little comfort she could.

#alessia russo #ella toone #engwnt #leah williamson #lionesses #woso

[wosomarvel]

communication - 02

warnings: light angst (idk if this counts as angst or not)

also, i'm so happy vilda is finally out, even if it is disappointing that it took so long. next, rubiales.

contigo jenni

-----

in the few months since sim had started at her new job, she was surprised at how well she'd been able to settle in. she'd gotten her new office set up with the necessary computers and camera equipment. she'd spent a lot of her down time roaming the facility when the girls weren't around. the young girl had filmed enough content to put up several posts on the lionesses' official social media accounts.

so far, the engagement was increasing compared to the content published before her arrival. sim knew better than to take her foot off the pedal, though. her drive to be good enough, to succeed, to be wanted would never let her rest.

that's how she found herself hunched over her laptop in her flat, empty coffee cups littering the desk. the sound of cars passing by outside the flat served as a tempting lullaby. sim's eyes stayed shut a little longer each time she blinked.

she was working on a short video for the lionesses' youtube page, clipping together pictures, short segments of video, and interview-like questions she'd asked the team during the most recent camp.

sim had had a great deal of fun at camp. she'd stayed in the same hotel as the team, which allowed her to catch some golden moments off the pitch that otherwise wouldn't be made public.

over the course of the week and a half she'd spent with the girls, she'd also found herself falling into an easy banter with most of them. she'd become fast friends with ella and alessia, the girls doing their best to bring sim out of her shell. leah had taken more of a watchful role, ensuring the young girl was finding everything okay.

as for the rest of the team, sim found a comfortable balance between friends and coworkers. she was alright with the more professional role she inhabited with them, content to observe and capture their interactions and movements through a lens.

even though it had only been a couple of months at the new job, it made sim uneasy how easy it was to fall into a rhythm with the team. she didn't want to be too much for anyone. she was constantly worrying about overstepping boundaries, or being too annoying. despite the multiple invites to go grab coffee with alessia and some of the other arsenal players since the end of camp, sim found it hard to believe that the girls really enjoyed her company that much.

the sound of her phone buzzing snapped sim out of her trance. she rubbed her eyes, reading over the text she had just received from alessia.

leah, beth and i are grabbing coffee after training later. want to join?

sim sighed, running a hand through the mess of curls on her head. she was reluctant to agree. she wanted to finish her current project and have the video published by wednesday morning. sim's back straightened when she realized that was now tomorrow morning.

another buzz from her phone.

leah says you don't have a choice. we'll pick you up at 3:30 (:

sim's eyebrows furrowed at the small smiley face tacked on to the end of the message, her grip on her phone slackening. she was reluctant to agree to the girl's demands, the self-imposed deadline looming dark.

she scratched at the skin just behind her ear, a nervous habit she'd picked up who knows when. she shot off a simple 'ok' to alessia, knowing her friend was too stubborn to relent. sim set the device down, turning her attention back to the editing software open on her laptop.

4:39 am. sim considered grabbing an energy drink and powering through the assignment in front of her, in the end, deciding against it. if she pushed herself any further, she'd be dead on her feet when she met less and the girls for coffee later.

sim set her computer down beside the bed, finally allowing herself to surrender to sleep for the first time in almost 48 hours.

-----

they were late. very late.

sim was leaning against the cold concrete pillar outside her building, the surface reminding her of the sides of a swimming pool. she might as well be in one, with how hard it was raining.

she glanced at the time blinking on her watch. 4:09 pm. she sighed. she'd only ended up sleeping for 5 hours. she'd woken up to thoughts of the stupid youtube video she was supposed to have uploaded. it seemed as though her brain would not let her catch a break. she couldn't escape her anxiety, even in her sleep.

"oh my gosh, i'm so sorry we're late. we were reviewing film after training and breaking down the next match-"

"less, it's okay." sim cut off the rambling of the forward, allowing herself to be guided into the backseat of the sedan that had just pulled up, with leah driving and beth occupying the front passenger seat.

sim sank into the black leather seats, grateful for the warmth the car provided., setting her crutch sideways on her lap. she watched the city move by through the window, running her fingers over the stitching on the seats. she was still new to the city, not quite acquainted with the packed streets of london. she'd moved down here for her new job with the lionesses.

sim was secretly grateful for the number of women's football teams based in london. despite the size of the city, it was nice that so many of the lionesses played here. it made the weight of the loneliness she felt ease a bit.

"what's your order, then?" asked leah as they stepped into the small coffee shop.

"oh, i'll just order mine separately."

"that's nonsense. i invited you out, i pay," leah asserted. sim let out a long exhale, knowing she wasn't going to be allowed to pay for her own.

"i'll just do an iced coffee with two creams and two sugars. but i've got next," sim replied.

accepting money from others had always made sim feel uncomfortable. it was something that had been drilled into her head growing up, a fundamental piece of punjabi culture. never accept money from others, and always offer to pay. sim decided to forgo the last part. the move to london had almost bankrupted her and while her new wages were certainly a nice increase from the waitressing job she'd worked previously, her bank account wasn't exactly thriving.

"what were you doing up so early this morning?" alessia asked as they settled into a corner booth.

sim raised an eyebrow at the question. "i could ask you the same thing."

"i had an early night and got up early for a run with the team. you still haven't answered my question."

"yeah, at least we know less is sleeping. you on the other hand... you've looked better, i'll leave it at that," beth added with a chuckle.

"thanks, beth, you really know how to make a girl smile," sim said, a smile taking over her face.

"alright, seriously, answer the question now. enough stalling." sim could see the gentle concern behind the smile on leah's face.

she didn't know why leah was so worried. she knew that maybe her sleeping habits were less than healthy, but she couldn't understand why leah cared. they'd known each other for barely three months. that hadn't stopped the defender from taking on a sibling type role in sim's life, though.

she shrugged, sipping on the coffee before setting it back down on the table. "just working on this new video for the youtube. i've gotta have it up by tomorrow morning." sim kept her focus on the surface of the table, and the way the condensation from her cup was pooling around the edge.

eye contact had never been something that came easy to sim.

alessia's eyebrows furrowed. "so you decided you'd pull another all-nighter to get it done?"

"technically, it wasn't an all-nighter because after i got your text, i went to bed," sim mumbled, swirling the ice around her cup. she used the sleeve of her sweater to wipe at the pool of water on the table.

leah frowned. "what do you mean, another all-nighter?"

sim groaned. leah was like an annoying, overbearing parent. she was only 5 years older than sim, which only frustrated the girl even more.

"sim, i know you're worried about keeping the job, but running yourself into the ground won't do you any favors. i've heard some of the higher-ups talking, and they're already impressed. it sounds like we've already got some new sponsorships coming through. take care of yourself, alright? ease up."

sim looked up to meet leah's eyes. she saw the worry reflected in the tightness of leah's eyebrows, the way her eyes roved over her own face, taking in the bags under sim's eyes and then down to the hunch of her shoulders.

"we've got tomorrow off as a rest day. why don't you come by my place? i'm having some of the girls come around for a movie marathon," alessia offered.

a smile graced sim's face. she ignored the way her heart leaped at the chance to spend time with alessia, labelling it as friendly excitement.

"i'll be there."

"you're a good kid, sim. you work hard, but remember to rest sometimes too," beth said softly, putting an arm around sim's shoulder and squeezing gently.

sim allowed herself to lean into the comfort. she was exhausted. and technically, she reminded herself, the video didn't actually have to be up until saturday. as much as she wanted it up early to impress her superiors, she knew the girls were right.

sim let herself enjoy the rest of the afternoon with her friends, joining in on the laughter and jokes, letting herself get carried away in conversation. it didn't hurt that at some point, alessia had reached across the table and taken sim's hands in her own, playing with her fingers as the day progressed.

sim missed the knowing looks leah and beth exchanged after glancing down at hers and alessia's hands.

-----

"are you going to introduce us to your girl or what?" the voice of one kim little rang out as everyone got settled onto the sofas in alessia's living room.

a red flush took over sim's face. sim had been ignoring the way alessia made her feel when they were inhabiting the same space.

she found herself naturally drawn to alessia's blonde hair and blue eyes, to the way her eyes crinkled when she smiled, to her eyelashes and her smile and the soft skin of her hands and the warm embrace of her body. she made sim feel safe and free from judgement.

sim ignored the feeling of warmth she experienced at even the slightest touch from the footballer. she ignored the feeling of satisfaction whenever she managed to make alessia laugh. she brushed all those feelings aside, pushed them down until they were nothing more than a quiet voice at the back of her mind. after all, they'd only known each other a few months and there was no way alessia russo would reciprocate. she was way out of sim's league.

"she's not my girl, but fine. guys, this is sim, she works in media for the national team. she's also a dear friend, so be nice." sim knew her blush would only have gotten worse with the arm alessia had slung over her shoulder. she was grateful that the lights were already dimmed in preparation for the movie marathon, or she would have to deal with relentless teasing from leah and beth. knowing them, they would've roped in lotte as well.

sim waved shyly to the room. most of the team, she'd never met. she'd met lina in passing once at london colney when alessia had asked for a ride after training. the short-haired girl had simply waved at the two before getting into her own car and driving away.

"well, sim, don't just stand there. come make yourself comfortable," leah teased. "and don't worry," she addressed the rest of the team, "once she gets comfortable she's not nearly as quiet."

sim moved to take the open spot next to leah on the ground, leaning against the couch, alessia settling in on her other side.

by the end of the first movie, sim was trying and failing to keep from falling asleep. even worse, every time she nodded off, her head ended up resting on alessia's shoulder.

the 6th time it happened, alessia had had enough. she wrapped her arm around sim's body and pulled her closer, tugging the blanket they were sharing up to cover their shoulders.

sim relaxed slightly, appreciating the warmth surrounding her. if she'd been more alert, she would've had the sense to feel embarrassed. instead, the next time she nodded off, she stayed sleeping.

alessia stilled, not daring to move a muscle in case it woke the younger girl up.

"let her sleep," leah whispered softly. "she's earned it."

alessia nodded in agreement. she brought a hand up to sim's curly hair, carding her hands through in an attempt to keep her sleeping.

while the two shared this peaceful moment, beth leaned off of the couch above them, stretching to grab a photo before sending it to the lioness's group chat.

alessia glanced at the notification on her phone but couldn't bring herself to care for the remarks the rest of her national teammates had already starting making. not with sim's warm body curled up against hers under the blanket. she only hoped the teasing wouldn't scare her away.

alessia was determined to bring sim out of her shell, to find out why the younger girl was trying so hard to keep the team at such a distance.

the team had taken a liking to sim, immediately accepting her as a part of the family. they'd never done so with a member of staff before, but they couldn't help enjoying the time sim spent with them. she did her job with such care and respect for their privacy that they'd wanted to look out for her even without their coach's request.

sim made sure to get their approval before posting something online, wanting to make sure she wasn't crossing boundaries or sharing information that the girls weren't comfortable with having public. she reminded them to rest and recover properly. she never asked questions that made the team uncomfortable. she was so easy to work with and the team had taken her in without hesitation, wanting to return the kindness she was so intent on showing to them.

they would let sim fall asleep on their shoulders any time, anywhere, if it meant the girl got some rest.

leah smiled softly as she watched alessia press a gentle kiss to sim's hair before quietly asking the rest of the team what movie they should play next. the gunners took care to make sure they wouldn't wake anyone up.

sim didn't know it, but she'd found herself a family.

#alessia russo #ella toone #engwnt #leah williamson #lionesses #woso #beth mead #lotte wubben moy #arsenal wfc

[wosomarvel]

communication - 01

a/n: alright, here's the first chapter! this story has been in my head for a while, and it is nice to get it out into an actual piece of work. i'm not the most experienced writer, so bear with me here. i'll also be slow to update because i start college tomorrow and i've got a full course load!

feel free to send me any comments or feedback! i'd really appreciate it.

warnings: none

-----

sim sighed, mustering up any remaining courage she could.

"go on," the soft voice of the team's head coach urged, nudging her gently. tightening her grip on the knob of her crutch, sim pushed the door open and took a few tentative steps into the locker room. she let out the breath she was holding, realizing that none of them had yet noticed her presence.

sim took a moment to absorb the sight in front of her. the lionesses, in all their glory, having a laugh as one millie bright held a training shirt out of the reaches of ella toone, a smirk on her face as the younger (and shorter) footballer jumped up and down.

"hey, girls," sarina called out to the room, gathering the attention of group. a hush fell over the group as they turned toward the locker room entrance. "we've found someone to fill the position of social media manager. this is sim," the woman said, motioning for sim to step forward.

taking in a deep breath, she waved shyly, letting out a soft "hi" in greeting. the weight of the team's gaze rested heavy on the young girl, speculative eyes analyzing her figure. though sim wasn't going to actually play on the team, she was aware that her role as the social media manager meant she'd be spending quite a bit of time with these girls, following them around training and travelling with them to matches and camps. she desperately wanted to be liked by them, if not for her own personal sense of validation, then at least for the fact that it would make her job much easier.

ella toone was the first one to speak. "what's with the crutch?" the question was quickly followed by a sharp squeak, as millie elbowed the girl in her side, the rest of the girls letting out an exasperated sigh at the invasive question.

sim's lips quirked up in a smile, the worry in her chest easing a bit. this will be a riot, she thought to herself.

"jesus, ella, we told you to be normal," sim heard someone speak out.

"no, no, it's alright. honestly, i'd much rather you ask me to my face instead of just whispering about it behind my back," she said, a hint of confidence projecting her voice around the room. "i took a bit of a fall playing rugby a year or so back. haven't been able to walk right without the crutch or a knee brace since."

"see? at least someone here appreciates my curiosity!" ella threw her hands up in the air.

"lack of tact, more like," rachel muttered under her breath.

"hey, if i'm going to be following you lot around with a camera all the time, it's only fair that you know a few things about me as well," sim defended.

ella rushed up, throwing an arm around sim's shoulders, pulling the girl into her side. sim tensed slightly at the contact, but relaxed when ella called out to the room, "see, i already like this one."

"alright, that's enough," sarina interjected. "ella, since you're so taken with sim, you can show her around the practice facility and help her find her office. alessia, you'd better go with. i'm not sure i trust tooney on her own." ella whined at the dig, but steered sim out of the locker room without much protest. "rachel, millie, leah, follow me. i need a quick word."

the three girls shared a confused look as they followed their coach out into the hall. "look, i don't know what we're supposed to have done, but-"

"you're not in trouble," sarina cut rachel off. "you three are natural leaders on this squad so i'm coming to you first. one of sim's professors from her last year of university referred her for the position. she's not very... experienced. she's only a year out of university, but her professor and i go way back and he asked me to pull a few strings." sarina paused for a breath, not missing the increasingly confused looks the younger girls shared.

"right, what's that got to do with us?" leah queried, cocking her head to the side.

"her professor, thomas, asked me to look out for her. he didn't say much, but just make sure sim feels welcome, alright? i know she's not going to be on the pitch with you, but it would mean a lot if you just put in some effort." the manager didn't say anything else before walking in the direction of the pitch.

"she's so cryptic sometimes," rachel groaned.

"are we meant to babysit her or something?" added leah, leaning against the doorframe into the locker room.

an inquisitive frown took over millie's face. "coach was definitely being weird just now, but it's not a big ask. you guys know how important every role is on the team, from equipment manager to captain on the pitch. let's just show the kid a little extra love, yeah?"

the others nodded before turning to head back into the locker room to don their training kits.

-

"so you said you took an awkward fall, but i still don't quite understand how that leads to an injury so severe-" ella was cut off by yet another elbow to the side, this time coming from one alessia russo.

"she just got here and you've already started an interrogation!" alessia exclaimed.

"why is everyone so determined to punish my curiosity?" ella demanded. sim chuckled at the banter between the two blondes.

they were currently walking along the sidelines of one of the many practice pitches. she was enjoying taking on a more passive role at the moment, listening to her two tour guides bicker as she took in the environment. occasionally, they would point out attractions and talk about different parts of the facility. sim was content to feel the grass crunch below her feet and the light breeze on her face. she longed to be back on the field, passing a ball around or running tackling drills. she silently cursed her bad leg before deciding to put an end to the ensuing argument going on around her.

"it was raining quite a bit that day. it would've been fine, but we also happened to be playing on an absolutely shit pitch. i turned to offload the ball but my boot was stuck, so it was like the rest of my body pivoted while my right knee and down stayed put. add to that the fact that the defender slipped in the mud and landed her tackle below my knees instead of above, and it was a recipe for disaster. meniscus, ACL, MCL, all of it was just wrecked," the new hire explained.

sim saw the two forwards cringe in her periphery. "i'm so sorry," alessia said softly, reaching out to set a hand on sim's shoulder.

"it's not a huge deal. no point dwelling on the past right?" sim replied, sending alessia a tight-lipped smile as she shrugged her hand away.

in actuality, it was a massive deal. sim had loved rugby for as long as she could remember. the pitch was her refuge. when she was out on the field, nothing else mattered except getting the next try, making the conversion, getting good hits, and supporting her teammates. but it hurt too much to think about her nonexistent rugby career, so sim carried on as if nothing had changed. as well as she could with a permanently fucked up knee, anyway.

alessia couldn't imagine the pain sim had had to go through, physically and mentally. recovery from an injury like that couldn't be easy, and she couldn't fathom not playing the game she loved so dearly.

the two were pulled out of their thoughts by ella's next question. "so want to see the meal room or the recovery pool next?"

-----

contigo jenni

#alessia russo #ella toone #leah williamson #engwnt #lionesses #woso #woso community

[wosomarvel]

communication (lionesses x OC, alessia russo x OC) - series masterlist

this one has been stewing since before the wwc, and i'm finally finding the motivation to put all these strings of plot and feelings into a cohesive piece of work. it's not the best, but it's been comforting to write. i hope you enjoy!

series warnings and themes: angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, talks of abuse, depression, homophobia, i'll add more as they come. i will also do my best to add more specific tags and warnings on each chapter as required.

-----

this story follows a character named sim (short for simran - pronounced sim-rin).

blurb from chapter one below:

sim sighed, mustering up any remaining courage she could.

"go on," the soft voice of the team's head coach urged, nudging her gently. tightening her grip on the knob of her crutch, sim pushed the door open and took a few tentative steps into the locker room. she let out the breath she was holding, realizing that none of them had yet noticed her presence.

sim took a moment to absorb the sight in front of her. the lionesses, in all their glory, having a laugh as one millie bright held a training shirt out of the reaches of ella toone, a smirk on her face as the younger (and shorter) footballer jumped up and down.

"hey, girls," sarina called out to the room, gathering the attention of group. a hush fell over the group as they turned toward the locker room entrance. "we've found someone to fill the position of social media manager. this is sim," the woman said, motioning for sim to step forward.

taking in a deep breath, she waved shyly, letting out a soft "hi" in greeting. the weight of the team's gaze rested heavy on the young girl, speculative eyes analyzing her figure. though sim wasn't going to actually play on the team, she was aware that her role as the social media manager meant she'd be spending quite a bit of time with these girls, following them around training and travelling with them to matches and camps. she desperately wanted to be liked by them, if not for her own personal sense of validation, then at least for the fact that it would make her job much easier.

ella toone was the first one to speak. "what's with the crutch?" the question was quickly followed by a sharp squeak, as millie elbowed the girl in her side, the rest of the girls letting out an exasperated sigh at the invasive question.

sim's lips quirked up in a smile, the worry in her chest easing a bit. this will be a riot, she thought to herself.

-----

chapter one

chapter two

chapter three

chapter four

chapter five

chapter six

#lionesses #engwnt #alessia russo #leah williamson #mary earps #kiera walsh #lucy bronze #millie bright #ella toone #rachel daly #alex greenwood #woso

[wosomarvel]

MASTERLIST

i've only just started this blog. i've been writing for a while, but the wwc has inspired me to share some of my fics! i'll do my best to put warnings on each one. i'm currently working on a short series centered around the lionesses.

i have future plans for a short reader insert series surrounding both the canwnt and the uswnt, and some random ideas floating around for one shots or imagines.

i'm open to requests if you have them!

communication - lionesses x OC

#woso #woso community