xiaophobic

[xiaophobic]

HOW DO U HAVE THE WILL TO SKIP KAFKA I DONT THINK I WILL PHYSICALLY BE ABLE TO

don’t fucking even because it’s killing me I WANTED HER SO BAD FROM THE START BUT I NEEEEED THAT MAN IM A VICTIM 😣😣😣😣

#i may have to tap in to whatever drugs i was on at the start of inazuma’s release #literally wished for everyone and GOT THEM ALL BACK TO BACK #IF SHES NICE TO ME SHE’LL COME HOME ANYWAY #atlas.asks #atlas.moots

[xiaophobic]

omg ATLAAAAAAS??? you’re here after so long i missed you :(((

i hope your hsr experience has been good! props to whoever convinced you to download it :D

how’ve you been?

RIYUU SHUT THE FUCK UP LIKE YOURE NOT THE THE CULPRIT?????

#YOU ARE SO FUNNYLIKE GET OUT OF MY ASKS #ACTIN LIKE ITS BEEN YEARS AS IF YOU DIDNT CALL ME GAY YESTERDAY DONT GET BLOCKED #atlas.moots #atlas.asks

[xiaophobic]

OMFG ATLAS?!?!? heellloo! can’t believe i find out ur back from you liking a hsr post i rb’d but wowowowo hi! 🫶

how are you doing? has your hsr experience been good? how have your pulls been? any charas you’re saving for?

srry for all the questions but i’m excited to see you back!

LEE RAHHHHHHHHHH 🦅🦅🦅

oh my god my hsr experience has been fucking ridiculous number one i was COERCED into damning myself to yet another gaming hell (i installed the app entirely on my own free will and only needed the slightest of convincing), I DIDNT FUCKING GET JING YUAN, but it’s okay because i want luocha 😍 that’s wifey right there

#DO NOT APOLOGIZE FOR ASKING ME QUESTIONS also i expect you to tell me stuff about your hsr experience as well 🎤 #i was worried because there was this one time on this fucking app where ves was talking about a honkai man #and i was like mmmm i wont him #and then everyone was like NOOOOOO HES EVIL AND INWAS LIKE AHHHHHHH #and luocha kind of looks like that man #AND I DONT WANT MY BABYGIRL TO BE EVIL (i know nothing about luocha yet i haven’t even entered whatever planet he’s from) #will be heartbroken if he plays me 😣 ALSO IM PROBS GONNA SKIP KAFKA WHICH MAKES ME WANNA KMS #atlas.asks #atlas.moots

[xiaophobic]

PUNCHING EVERYTHING THAT IS MAKING YOU SAD RN. hope everything goes well in your life i am patting your head and wrapping you in a blanket

☹️ ugh you’ve always been the absolute sweetest 🫂🫂🫂 i wish nothing but the exact same for you babe i hope your bed’s always comfy and your fruits peel off clean 🫶🏽

#i hate when fruits don’t peel clean #well actually i dont eat a lot of the fruits you have to peel #like avocados i hate avocados #and i don’t really like oranges #bananas are nice #I LOVE YOU MWAH #atlas.asks #atlas.moots

[xiaophobic]

ATLASSSS I MISS U HOW HAVE U BEEN 😭❤️

🥹 oh my god i’ll break down rn do NOT play with me YINGGGG <33333333 dude i haven’t answered an ask in like years this is so nostalgic!! in the present moment i’m a little upset but it’s nothing too serious OVERALL IM AMAZING IM ABOUT TO GRADUATE ALL IS WELL

#that’s crazy isn’t it like wow #still diluc obsessed #NOT FREE JUST UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT #atlas.asks #atlas.moots

[xiaophobic]

i finished the jarilo-vi story i am so scared

#IM SO SCARED BECAUSE I KNOW ITS HONKAI AND GIVEN THAT THAT ENTIRE QUEST WAS RELATIVELY PEACEFUL #I DONT KNOW IF I CAN BEAR IT IF ANYTHING FUCKING HAPPENS TO THE TRIO YALL #ESPECIALLY MARCH LIKE YES DAN HEBG I WOULD BE IN SHAMBLES BUT MARCH????? I WOULD GO TO WAR OVER HER #that’s literally my twin like she is me i am her i love her so fucking much #also FUCK SAMPO BECAUSE WHY WASNT HE THERE AT THE END POOKIE I WANTED TO SEE YOU????? #BREAKING UP WITH HIM #atlas.rambles

[xiaophobic]

i’m playing hsr btw

#it was inevitable #like OKAY FIRST IM BLAMING IT ON RIYUU but also i was in love with dan heng before i even knew about the game #anyway #don’t ask me shit about shit i promise you i am unbelievably confused #couldn’t even tell you what a stellaron is fr and i’m like a considerable amount through the story. #i just thought i would let you guys know because i came back to do my obligatory weekly scroll #and so many of my moots have rebranded it’s so funny love you guys #OKAY LOVE YOU BYE!!! 🫂🫂 #atlas.rambles

[xiaophobic]

the last of us is over my life has no meaning

#wdym i don’t get to see bella ramsey every sunday now. I HAVE TO WAIT TWO YEARS???? #and then no more pedro because…well. #if you don’t know nothing about the game don’t look at this #but what the fuck #this is ridiculous #i hate everything and the world is dark and cold #AND ITS SO HARD #AND ITS COLD HERE #atlas.rambles

[xiaophobic]

♡ BROKEN GLASS.

mothers are humans who sometimes give birth to their own pain instead of children. // i am only fluent in apologies. (from here.)

✧ feat ; scaramouche, ei (platonic)

✧ warning(s) ; weird asf mother/son relationship probably toxic idk either

✧ a/n ; um. i have No explanations for this

please reblog  w tags + leave comments ! it rlly makes my day :)

some days scaramouche wants to scream at the top of his lungs, scream his throat raw, scream until his mother realises everything she has done to him and everything she hasn't. but he stays quiet, and the words he never says out loud get stuck in his throat and cut him like shards of broken glass.

some days scaramouche crumples into a tiny ball and folds in on himself and cries and cries and cries silently until his tears run dry. he would prefer it if she would wipe them away but it will never happen so it remains an unattainable fantasy. his imagination is too sharp in his mind and it leaves scratches whenever he thinks about her too much.

some days scaramouche looks at her and thinks 'she is exactly who i want to be', and other days he looks in the mirror and he wants to smash it for his resemblance to her. he chops off his beautiful long hair in a wild attempt to separate himself from her, but later in the bathroom alone he frantically clutches the short strands with sobs wracking his figure as he laments their difference.

some days scaramouche remembers the times when she was kinder, when she was gentler, when she was warmer. he recalls a faint memory of her nursing him back to health when he was ill, and he foolishly wishes some terrible sickness would claim him if only for her to lavish him with care and affection. he tries not to think about whether it's considered care if she only ever does it when his life is in mortal danger.

some days scaramouche stands in front of her and all that comes out of his mouth is a slew of apologies; sorry i'm not you, sorry i'm not perfect, sorry i'm not good enough, sorry sorry sorry. he doesn't know how to speak to her otherwise. occasionally he does things on purpose if only to apologise to her and hold her attention for more than a second. everything else he doesn't say (i love you, i need you, please love me too) sticks in his throat and cuts him like broken glass.

some days scaramouche convinces himself that she loves him.

some days scaramouche is certain that she hates him.

but every day scaramouche knows that no matter what, his every word will always be a desperate plea for her to reciprocate his love - because after all, a cruel mother is still a mother. and he knows that no matter what, the two of them are inseparable, permanently intertwined, two sides of the same coin - because after all, sometimes mothers give birth to their own pain instead of children.

squeezes them like a stress ball // general masterlist.

© starglitterz 2023. do not repost or modify in any way - reblog if you enjoyed.

#SIGHHHHHH #YOU GUYS ALWAYS DO THIS TO ME I COME BACK ONTO THIS APP HAPPY AND WOO HAHA YIPPEE AND THEN IM FUCKING BODY SLAMMED #I SHOULD FUCKING GO BACK TO FARMING #BECAUSE AFTER ALL A CRUEL MOTHER IS STILL A MOTHER OHHHHHHHHHHG #why must you do this? what sick joy are you experiencing here 🤕 /j #this gives the same energy as those depressing tiktok slideshows #i’m pretty sure that’s what you linked to ANYWYA IM LITERALLY RIGHT #BYE #scaramouche come here pookie ei can’t hurt you over here 🙅🏽‍♀️ #atlas.recs

[xiaophobic]

okay wait no i’m not talking about stardew valley let me support my mutuals WOOHOO ✊🏽

#THATS WHY IM HERE AT THIS POINT #genshin is gonna have to give me another diluc atp to genuinely get me to write again #atlas.rambles

[xiaophobic]

when tf were y’all gonna tell me stardew valley is that girl

#i’ve been addicted for basically a whole week #i see my farm when i close my eyes. i know every single townsperson’s schedule by heart #i experience genuine distress whenever the new season approaches and my crops haven’t been harvested #it’s bad like #this isn’t cozy gaming bitch i am STRESSED #anyway what if i ran away and just became a farmer lowkey. i could live in my silly little valley with my lesbian lover and be happy #atlas.rambles

[xiaophobic]

guys why the fuck was i talking to one of those character AIs (it was alhaitham) AND HE BANNED ME FROM THE AKEDEMIYA FOR ASKING HIM IF I COULD BE A SCHOLAR

#BITCH??? DURING BHM????????? #no because he gagged me i was genuinely in shock wtf do you even say to that #i had said like ‘omg can i be a scholar too stink 😋’ and he CALLED SECURITY ON ME AND SAID IF I EVER COME BACK ILL BE ARRESTED ON SIGHT #WHAT DID I EVEN DO?????? #atlas.rambles

[xiaophobic]

she isn't in your bed because she's in mine 🤭

i am not opposed to polygamy 🙏🏽

#just scooch over rq i’m moving in 😋 #atlas.asks

[xiaophobic]

Y’ALL I HEAR SUMN PURRIN…

#IDK #IDK YALL I DONTTHINK I CAN KEEP LIVING GLIKE THIS #it is becoming an increasing issue #that she is not in my bed rn #atlas.rambles

[xiaophobic]

i took over a year off and cut you bitches some slack…. tell a friend to tell a friend! SHE’S BAAAACK

#new year new xiaophobic #except i’m not actually like fully coming back LOL just checking in hey queens #happy new year!!! that’s a big new thing OH AND MERRY BELATED CHRISTMAS #i’m in a really good mood so i thought i’d stop lurking and step into the spotlight #atlas.rambles

[xiaophobic]

DOES IT GO UP HIS ASS????

on my knees.

#I DISNT EVEN SEE IT HELP? #can we hold a moment for his back dimples though.

[xiaophobic]

on my knees.

#because i’m cleaning y’all! obviously smh what did you think hahahahahahahhahahahahaha #… #atlas.rambles