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Season 4 Spoilers
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On the topic of Azula, Ozai, and abuse.
One of the things I've noticed when it comes to how Azula's character is discussed in the fandom and by the writers themselves is that there is this popular belief that she wasn't abused by Ozai. Which I've always found to be bizarre since the show gives us evidence that she absolutely was abused by her father, just not in the way same way as Zuko.
In the show, Azula is seen as the golden child of the family for her excellent firebending skills. She is constantly propped up by Ozai as a way to put Zuko down. What a lot of people don't realize is that this is in fact abuse, and it's abusive to both Zuko AND Azula. Sure, Azula more than likely loved the praise she was getting, but that praise was disguised as abuse.
(I'm sorry for using the comics but this one part is actually relevant to what I'm talking about here). When Ozai says this to Zuko right in front of Azula, we see this as verbal abuse. It's abuse towards Azula as well since she is the one Ozai is using constantly to put Zuko down with words. When you abuse one sibling in front of the other, you abuse both of them.
Azula is portrayed as being a perfectionist in the tv show. Some people see this as her being power hungry. When that actually couldn't be farther from the truth. Her perfectionist personality comes from abuse. Because she saw what happened to Zuko since he wasn't perfect and he was considered to be weak. He was burned by Ozai. Right in front of her. Which in it's own way was a warning to her. "This is what happens to failures, and those that are not perfect. You must be perfect at all times if you do not want what I just did to your brother to happen to you." That's what that told her. So when we see her perform lightning bending in the first episode of book 2, and this happens
Her saying "almost isn't good enough" wasn't because she craves power to the point where a single hair out of place is something that she won't tolerate, it's because she knows that she HAS to be perfect at all times, otherwise she ends up like Zuko. Burned and exiled. And to her, Ozai was the one family member who seemed to care about her. And if she couldn't please him, then that meant that he wouldn't "love" her anymore. As evidenced by this scene here
That is what we call conditional love. Which is another form of abuse. As long as your abuser finds you useful because they know that you will do whatever they tell you to do without question, they will give off the illusion that they actually do care about you and love you. But the minute they don't have anymore use for you? They toss you aside like yesterday's trash, as if you never meant anything to them at all. Which is what Ozai does to Azula on the day of the comet. That can fuck with a person's mind. Because when they see that the one person who they thought loved them actually didn't, that says to them that they were loved by no one all along.
So the point I'm trying to make here? Is that Azula was abused, just not physically and verbally like Zuko was. She was mentally and emotionally abused. Just because we don't see it happening on screen like we do with Zuko does not mean that the signs aren't there. Because they very clearly are. This is something that quite obviously the writers don't understand: just because you are the golden child, does not mean that you have it easy. The golden child can be abused too. Not just the child who is seen as a failure. There is more than one type of abuse.
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