zenwhoberi

[zenwhoberi]

ya girl went bouldering for the first time and fell of a 13 foot wall and landed on her tailbone I’m soioooooeooooo full of painkillers and sleepy

#my friends are doctors so I actually got quite lucky cause they immediately knew what to do I fully took myself out for a couple of minutes! #anyways rn??? Ouchie

[zenwhoberi]

Never understood the collective vehement resentment of small talk lol i hate the painful grind of small talk as much as the next person but i think id rather shrivel up and die than be denied nuggets of joy found in standing in an elevator and having a middle aged woman compliment my nails or bonding fleetingly with a cafegoer over the city's temperamental weather it's so integral to nurturing & cultivating the soul i think

[zenwhoberi]

you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

#dragon age #💀

[zenwhoberi]

if a friend is experiencing/has experienced a loss and is grieving, and you don't have any experience in the arena of loss, please allow me to offer some advice on navigating conversations about the deceased loved one.

not every mention of their person is the saddest part of their day. sometimes saying "this was their favorite song" "oh they would have LOVED this" "God I wish they could hear the conversation happening at the next table" "I wish they were here" is lighthearted. the mention of their person can be joyful. or melancholic. or, of course, sad. it can be all of those things at once. but no matter, react to the sentiments as just another piece of the conversation.

you don't need to drop a 55 pound weight onto the conversation and stare at us in pity or silently stare in a combination of confusion and discomfort and sadness.

it's okay. we know they're dead. you acknowledging that in an equal state of nonchalantness will not shock us to death, it's not tasteless or crude. it's a relief. our dead people are still parts of our lives just like anything else, and giving your loved ones the space and comfort and safety to talk about their person is huge.

you can always respond by asking to hear more, by mimicking their tone. your friend laughs and says "they would have LOVED this", take it as a chance to learn why! was their favorite color yellow? did they love kitschy little throw pillows? did they utterly DESPISE kitschy throw pillows? are they referencing a specific story?

if they see someone that looks like their person and get a little sad, ask what reminds them of their person. what was their favorite feature of their person? does it make them mostly sad to see someone who looks like their person? did it make them feel a little bit happy for a moment?

we want to talk about our deceased loved ones. we yearn to mention people who shaped us. the way our society has conditioned us to behave around grief, to respond to the grieving, and to grieve ourselves is so backwards and void of empathy, so we often don't say what we wish we could say. (bell hooks has a wonderful chapter on this in all about love, new visions (ch 11))

by offering opportunities for people to reminisce you are truly making an impact and fostering a safe environment for those around you to grieve in ways we're often not offered.

#as someone who has lost a lot of people sometimes within a short space of time ^^^^

[zenwhoberi]

i dont “have ptsd” that’s all just the wizard’s curse

#prev

[zenwhoberi]

being in your 20s is like im 17 and i don't know who i am. im 55 curled up with a book. im ancient. i've been here forever. i never left. i'm 5 years old and i'm lost at the supermarket

[zenwhoberi]

god didn't give me a dick because i would read poems & get hard and then everyone would be mean to me

[zenwhoberi]

Reservation Dogs 2x04 - Mabel

#reservation dogs #rewatching this with my dad and he loves william knifeman and cheese lmfao

[zenwhoberi]

[zenwhoberi]

[zenwhoberi]

Bare faced Bae'zel

#baldurs gate

[zenwhoberi]

[zenwhoberi]

mmiss tabris….

redraw of this old tabris and her wedding dress ^__^ 

#your tabris looks like mine!! #dragon age

[zenwhoberi]

#i have 3 and i’d like 2 more as of right now ☺️

[zenwhoberi]

Timothy Chalamet passed away last night after choking on a single frozen unchewed green pea. Family members confirmed his passing in a statement to the media "it's how he liked to eat them"

[zenwhoberi]

PHARMACIE_OUVERTE.mp4

[zenwhoberi]

marty scorsese in her daughter's dorm at nyu 💓