zodiacbullshit

[zodiacbullshit]

do you want to hear a joke

the north american education system

[zodiacbullshit]

tumblr

#actually though #sagittarius

[zodiacbullshit]

Sunrise or sunset?

Are you mentally ill?

Are you physically ill?

What is the most expensive thing you have bought?

Do you have a job?

Are you in school?

Are you a dropout?

Are you in college?

Introvert or extrovert?

What do you think when you look at your body?

What have others said when they look at your body?

Do you have a particular song that you feel deeply?

Talk about a time in your life where you have felt most alive?

Are you confident wearing a bikini?

Can you look people in the eyes while talking?

Has anything terrible happened to you?

Has anything wonderful happened to you?

Favorite part of your personality?

Least favorite part of your personality?

Favorite part of your body?

Least favorite part of your body?

Favorite quote?

Do you have friendships with all genders?

Do you have a good relationship with your father?

Do you have a good relationship with your mother?

Do you have a good relationship with your siblings?

Have you ever been hurt physically or mentally by a family member?

Have you ever had a near death experience?

Do you know anyone who has taken their own life?

Have you ever tried to take your own life?

Biggest lie you have told?

Do you follow any conspiracies?

Do you believe in a New World Order?

Do you respect your government and the way your country is run?

Is there currently any strife in your country?

Have you ever been displaced within your country?

Are your friendships healthy?

Are you currently fighting with a friend?

Are you jealous of a friend? Why?

Do you believe in the Illuminati?

Do you think any celebrities are associated with the Illuminati? Who?

How can people tell you are nervous?

How can people tell you are sad?

Do you ever express your true feelings?

Regrets in your life?

Achievements in your life?

What did people say about you in school?

What did you say about people in school?

Is there something you have never told anyone?

Have you committed an illegal act?

If you had two days to spend one million dollars how would you spend it?

What were your aspirations at age 5, 10, 15, 18?

Describe your first kiss? Was it how you imagined?

Growing up were you in a wealthy, average, or low income household?

Are you from a broken marriage?

Have you been raised by a solo parent?

Do you know both your parents?

What colour eyes, hair and skin do you have?

Have you abused drugs or alcohol?

What languages can you speak?

Do you conform to your societies standards?

Do you cry often?

Do you tell people what you think of them?

Are you comfortable accepting compliments?

Are you comfortable giving compliments?

Is any mental illness hindering your life?

Is any physical illness hindering your life?

Do you keep up with current events?

What’s the latest news in the world you have heard/read?

What have you done today?

Do you sleep well?

Do you sleep badly?

Have you ever hurt anyone because you were hurting?

Has anyone ever hurt you because they were hurting?

Have you ever had to end a friendship/relationship? Why?

Have you ever stopped someone from hurting themselves?

Has anyone ever stopped you from hurting yourself?

Do you like your laugh?

Are you preparing for an apocalypse? And what kind?

Do you have any funny family stories?

Are you religious?

Do you like to watch true crime shows or movies?

Are you interested in cults?

Would you like to raise a family in your country?

List some things you wanted in your childhood but never got?

Is there a large age gap between you and a sibling?

Are you from a blended family?

Do you believe in marriage? Why/Why not?

What is the nicest thing anyone has said to you?

Do you keep a journal?

Would anyone be hurt by reading it?

Do you have children?

Have you been pregnant?

List your favorite movies?

List your favorite people?

Talk about the birthmarks and scars on your body?

Do you look after yourself?

Do you put yourself or others first?

Are you happy today?

Are you loved?

[zodiacbullshit]

the signs as emotions you can’t explain

Aries: Chrysalism (the amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm)

Taurus: Énouement (the bitter sweetness of having arrived in the future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past self)

Gemini: Anecdoche (a conversation in which everyone is talking, but nobody is listening)

Cancer: Mauerbauertraurigkeit (the inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like)

Leo: Liberosis (the desire to care less about things)

Virgo: Jouska (a hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head)

Libra: Sonder (the realization that each passerby has a life as vivid and complex as your own)

Scorpio: Kuebiko (a state of exhaustion inspired by acts of senseless violence)

Sagittarius: Kenopsia (the eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place that is usually bustling with people but is now abandoned and quiet)

Capricorn: Occhiolism (the awareness of the smallness of your perspective)

Aquarius: Onism (the frustration of being stuck in just one body, that inhabits only one place at a time)

Pisces: Altschmerz (weariness with the same old issues that you’ve always had – the same boring flaws and anxieties that you’ve been gnawing on for years) inspired by this

[zodiacbullshit]

The Little Mermaid (1989)

[zodiacbullshit]

Remus Lupin fell asleep on the Quidditch bleachers in their second year. James Potter and Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew woke him up, and they propped him up all the way up the stairs.

Remus Lupin fell asleep in the middle of Charms class. Peter Pettigrew took notes for the both of them all class and woke him up with a shoulder tap and a smile.

Remus Lupin fell asleep on the moving staircase in fifth year, and Lily Evans laughed so loudly she woke him up. He insisted he was just resting his eyes for a minute. They walked back to the common room together, and he threw an arm around her shoulder and they both pretended it wasn’t because he was too weak to walk on his own. 

Remus Lupin fell asleep in the common room, late in sixth year, and Sirius Black found him curled up on the couch with his Muggle book open on his chest. Sirius took the blankets off both their beds, because Moony got cold so easily, and dropped them over the other boy. He picked up his book and put it on the coffee table.

Remus Lupin fall asleep in the library, on top of his schoolwork in seventh year, and James, who was quite a bit taller than the other boy at this point, lifted him up and carried him to to their dorm room as gently as possible, grinning at his friend and shaking his head. He put him in his bed and turned off the light, heading outside, now late for the Quidditch practice he was supposed to be coaching. 

[zodiacbullshit]

A super spoopy ghost to haunt your dash

[zodiacbullshit]

The Signs As High School Stereotypes

Aries: Quarterback on the football team but is kinda annoying.

Taurus: The rich kid who is only cool because they're rich.

Gemini: That one who KEEPS BREAKING DRESS CODE.

Cancer: Moody teen who always had headphones in.

Leo: The class clown who almost gets expelled.

Virgo: The quiet one that everyone secretly has a crush on.

Libra: Prom King/queen. Loved by all, but is secretly kind of bored with popularity.

Scorpio: The rebel. They're always late and in detention but they're SEXY AF.

Sagittarius: Class president. All business, but no social life.

Capricorn: Would be an excellent student if they actually cared.

Aquarius: The one that plans all of the parties and probably gets arrested multiple times before graduating.

Pisces: Really artsy and doesn't talk much.

[zodiacbullshit]

why the signs should forgive themselves

Aries: because you’re wonderful and deserve to be happy

Taurus: because you’re wonderful and deserve to be happy

Gemini: because you’re wonderful and deserve to be happy

Cancer: because you’re wonderful and deserve to be happy

Leo: because you’re wonderful and deserve to be happy

Virgo: because you’re wonderful and deserve to be happy

Libra: because you’re wonderful and deserve to be happy

Scorpio: because you’re wonderful and deserve to be happy

Sagittarius: because you’re wonderful and deserve to be happy

Capricorn: because you’re wonderful and deserve to be happy

Aquarius: because you’re wonderful and deserve to be happy

Pisces: because you’re wonderful and deserve to be happy

[zodiacbullshit]

What the signs don't tell you (sun or moon)

Aries: they're afraid the people they love will get sick of them. Aries people will try to make themselves exactly what the world is looking for and get disappointed in themselves when they can't add up to societies standards. They will tell themselves that is doesn't matter, but love is a huge chunk of who they are and what they need.

Taurus: all they want is to be accepted. taurus people will do whatever they need to get noticed or get the attention desired, no matter what this includes. taurus people would often rather be viewed as perfect, even if that puts their own happiness at line.

Gemini: they are lonely. Geminis are often viewed as social butterflies and yet they feel completely isolated from everyone and everything. Often times they just want to be seen for who they are and not what they have to pretend to be.

Cancer: they don't always mean well. Cancer people are often known as being able to forgive and forget easily, but that does not mean they do. cancer people can hold onto something for years, yet act as if it's forgotten to avoid drama or trouble.

Leo: they are afraid. Leos are afraid of themselves and the world around them. They want to be carefree and so they create the illusion that they are. And yet they always seem to hesitate, even if it's just for a fraction of a second, when you ask them a question about themselves. They are just a lost as you.

Virgo: they want to be bolder. many virgo people act extremely innocent and childish, but crave to have more of a wild side. virgo people often find satisfaction in bringing on an appearance different from how they feel they are. they tend to adventure into a wild side to experience things.

Libra: they need to save themselves. Libras are comfortable with accepting help but not in this department. They feel that they must be the ones to make themselves happy in the end. They just want to find their own strength. To them, love is important but not nearly as important as being independent and stable.

Scorpio: they are never satisfied with the present day. scorpio people will always want to go back or to go forward. many scorpio people will take this out by acting as an age other than their own, by either dressing older and doing things uncommon for someone their age or trying to bring everything into nostalgia, mimicking their former self.

Sagittarius: they are lost. Sagittarians often feel alone and confused. Every direction is a good direction to them and so they always stay in one place debating on where to go and what to do. They wish they could lead a thousand lives in a day and quietly punish themselves because they know they cannot.

Capricorn: they are insecure. Capricorns are always seen as the hardworking, heartless people of the zodiac. Most of the time they go along with this stereotype even though it makes them feel like half a person. They want to experience things they believe are out of their reach. They need someone to show them the way.

Aquarius: they are infatuated with worlds they can never belong to. Aquarians tend to travel all over the universe in their minds. Because of this, they often lose their sense of self and end up feeling like they don't belong anywhere. They need a place to feel safe, but not bored. They need the whole world but they know they'll never have it. That's their biggest challenge in life: finding a way to cope with the small amount of sky they are given.

Pisces: they will never be satisfied with who they are. they will always feel as if there is something wrong and they are experts at pointing out their own flaws. a time a pisces does not want to change something about themselves is an extremely rare time.

[zodiacbullshit]

The signs on a lazy day

Queen of messy buns: gemini, virgo, capricorn, aquarius

3 seasons in on Netflix: libra, scorpio, sagittarius

On the second tub of icecream: taurus, cancer, leo 

Bubble baths with an insane amount of bubbles: aries, pisces 

[zodiacbullshit]

Fights in the Skeleton War

Aries, Gemini, Virgo, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn

[zodiacbullshit]

[zodiacbullshit]

Gasoline (Halsey)

well my...

heart is gold: Taurus, Cancer, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius, Pisces

hands are cold: Aries, Gemini, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn, Aquarius

[zodiacbullshit]

Haikus for the Signs

Aries:

A clash of metal

adrenaline starts to flow

you’ve worn down your bones

Taurus:

autumn leaves falling

their slow descent uncharted 

not caring for time

Gemini:

everywhere at once

your mind is exploding, but

in chaos you thrive

Cancer:

each word that you hear

explains why you are afraid

of facing your fears

Leo:

the mirror reflects

only what you wish to see

so why keep staring?

Virgo:

nothing ever works

quite like you had planned it to;

nature follows none

Libra:

not everyone cares

for the beauty that you wear,

but their hate isn’t yours

Scorpio:

locked doors keep none in

and the knocking will not stop

till you open up

Sagittarius:

we all are disguised

don’t reveal us too early—

where’s the fun in that? 

Capricorn:

steadfast, unmoving

every grain of sand adds up;

your empire stands tall

Aquarius:

one voice of many

your currency is in change

slowly, the tides rise

Pisces:

your thoughts are gardens

ideas— flowers not in bloom,

a bouquet of dreams

[zodiacbullshit]

the signs in fall and winter

Aries: henleys and beanies and dark denim, red plaid flannel, blankets so full of static electricity that they spark, how clean your lungs feel the first day the air is truly cold, car seat warmers, cold hands, pine and soap, red leaves and gold tinsel, cherry pie, bonfires, empty glass bottles, grilled cheese and tomato soup, aching joints, chocolate oranges, broken holiday ornaments, ripped black tights, pet fur on all your clothes.

Taurus: cream blush, chipped nail polish, warm brown leather, stick shifts and seatbelts, warm papers fresh off the printer, spiced apple cider, olive and maroon and navy, ballpoint pens, hot baths, carrot cake, winter comforters, power outages, dull gold, hot chocolate, dry shampoo, split lips, pearl necklaces, skipping school, perfume, bath towels warmed in the dryer first, hotel shampoos, county fairs and caramel corn

Gemini: choking laughter at two am, pirated movies, sneaking in and sneaking out, lace and leather, christmas lights, scented candles, pumpkin pie, costume jewelry, snow globes, hairspray, the smell of burnt matches, red solo cups, seeing scary movies late at night with friends, soft cotton, gingerbread, smudged eyeliner, summer camp t shirts, damp hair, clean skin, car stereo turned up way too loud

Cancer: sleepovers and pillow forts, sick days and snow days, nineties movies, banana bread, freezing november rain, gift giving, wrapping paper scraps, smores and sticky fingers, dryer sheets, bubble baths, thin mints, sucking your candy canes into sharp points, pajama pants and too-hot blankets, dangerous icicles, driving on ice, pecan pie, back rubs, secret santa

Leo: lost car keys, gum wrappers at the bottom of purses, army green jackets, hazelnut coffees, frozen wet hair, christmas carols in october, driving with all the windows down, high waisted summer shorts and borrowed hoodies, red velvet cake, television marathons, chokers, dyed hair with roots showing, breathing on cold hands to warm them up, day old coffee grounds, cheap rings turning your skin green

Virgo: scarves, fresh made tea, journals and notebooks, knee high socks, shorts with sweaters, freezing cold swimming pools, cookie dough, bubblegum, foggy glasses and unpaired gloves, withering ivy on brick buildings, bookmarks and highlighters, immaculate leather, shaggy diy haircuts, collected guitar picks, strip malls, berry lipstick, sparkly gel pens, nineties crop tops, getting locked out of your car, impromptu road trips

Libra: sweaters and hoodies and jeans and chucks, halloween jokes, popcorn balls, harvest moons, constellations and cold snaps, frost on your windshield, lyrics stuck in your head, worn out backpacks and melting soft hugs, orange leaves on trees, autumn sunsets, ice skating and movie marathons, tiny marshmallows, mac n cheese at three am with your best friend, scented body wash

Scorpio: liquid eyeliner and dry cuticles, lip piercings, cheek kisses, pink and gray and lilac and pastel blue sweaters, anything maroon and olive and navy, vans, bitten short nails, flip flops in december, driving on the freeway at night, new year’s confetti, flannel shirts, concerts, tank tops in november, ripped jeans, rolling storms and thunderclaps, candy corn and haunted houses

Sagittarius: audiobooks, coffee house poetry recitations, clear nights, the first snow fall of the year, grass crisp with frozen dew, the way the sidewalks look clean after the snow melts, snickerdoodles, lyrics scrawled in marker on arms and thighs, september dandelion puffs, snowball fights, blanket capes, dark blue nail polish, inside jokes, holiday movie marathons

Capricorn: winter formals, candy apples, rainbow shines of oil on asphalt,  beanies and headbands, room temperature diet coke, paper snowflakes, firewood, running on beaches with sparklers, pumpkin spice lattes, sparkly lip gloss and wind burned cheeks, midnight singalongs, party games, warm days, hershey’s kisses, ginger ale, ferris wheels

Aquarius: gray skies, laser pointers, grass stained knees, jackets tied around your waist, baby pink, dry bushes, ding dong ditch, downtown city sidewalk singalongs late at night at the top of your lungs, house parties, trick or treating, burned out lightbulbs, hardwood floors, the smell before it rains, colorful winged eyeliner, frizzy hair, scuffed shoes, fraying hems

Pisces: oxford shoes and winter boots, neat little prints, downloading fonts, neat handwriting, tapping your foot to music, fancy chocolates, hair combs, exfoliating in the winter, frosty october cold snaps, nail polish, fuzzy socks, cinnamon, laundry detergent, paper cuts, eyelashes on cheeks, stretching after waking up from a long nap, dry skin, cracking your knuckles, cold toes peeking out from under blankets

[zodiacbullshit]

signs most likely to have a supernatural experience

Scorpio, Taurus, Gemini, Aquarius, Sagittarius