69d

[69d]

what’s a nice place like you doing in a girl like this?

#// im gonna be over here for the rest of the night!! #// casually boosts this selfie bc im proud of it

[69d]

theres nothing personal about my dick jade everyone knows what a dick looks like

but not everyone knows what these big wet glimmering balls look like and its not for them to find out

its a good thing ray bans are on sale because i threw my sunglasses into the junk pile in the back of my van at some point yesterday and when i went to clean it all out i found them in four different pieces so im having to wear some shitty gas station guy fieri backup pair around until we get out of buttfuck nowhere glacier hell

the bullying has been relentless but i dont know what jade expects me to do

just run around naked?

absolutely fucking not

#woofbeast

[69d]

i doubt youre prepared for the amount of reading involved with these long ass posts, im not sure if youve been here long enough to know what a lung long rambly bitch i am but if you want it it more or less takes up this whole page 

i went back to the beginning of my blog to see how old it was and somehow i forgot that i introduced myself to the world with my theory on how early humans being totally down to clown with other species saved them from going extinct during the pleistocene tuberculosis outbreak jeez what a nerd am i right

#im six im the dinosaur guy (tm) #text #emberoops

[69d]

haters see me and say christ what is that

[69d]

i went back to the beginning of my blog to see how old it was and somehow i forgot that i introduced myself to the world with my theory on how early humans being totally down to clown with other species saved them from going extinct during the pleistocene tuberculosis outbreak jeez what a nerd am i right

#text #i still stand by it though #nsfw

[69d]

@vwanker: oh thank god. at least one person understands. it really is not evwery day you find someone that does. maybe not evweryone is a philistine like id started to vworry...

i mean i dont know if id call an album about stalking your girlfriend and wanting to die a crucial cultural experience but i think i get what youre putting down

i like to think i stay with the flavor

oh shit did i actually introduce myself last time

im six if you hadnt figured that part out already

#text #vwanker

[69d]

might as well post this ancient summer pic in the middle of fall cause i still love how my sleeves coming out!!

#jade you were online and i missed it what the fuck #selfies

[69d]

SMOKE BREAK. 🚬

Non-Roleplay Blogs DON’T INTERACT. Minors Don’t Interact.

#milky clouds bro #smoking #selfies

[69d]

on one hand there are so many good johns on my dash and it makes me wanna have an egbert again but on the other. there are so many good johns on my dash and what if i suck in comparison lmaooooo

#i thought abt bringing back my transfem john... i had her very briefly in like 2015 or thereabouts but she was real good #ooc

[69d]

tired of being able to see shit? try tumblr compact™, not only is everything crushed into one ugly little shit cube, none of it fucking works!

#ooc #please let me blog

[69d]

you guys ever try to type a word with too many gs and hs right next to each other really fast and accidentally summon an elder god or is that just me

#text

[69d]

wait you guys actually cum? i thought it was a joke

#text #nsfw

[69d]

i am resilient in the face of hardship and my cock is extremely huge as well. in many ways i resemble the noble and prestigious barnacle

[69d]

@vwanker i forgot to say something to you when we first followed each other namely because the whole practice of greeting new followers feels too much like standing outside of a food court shithole handing out laminated menu brochures to anyone i can force to take one for all the varieties of kissing ass we serve to-go or delivery monday to friday for my tastes but im making an exception just this once because ive never met another why? fan in the wild and i couldnt stomach the emotional toll of not even trying to get you on the line

impeccable music taste congratulations

#text #vwanker

[69d]

am i the kind of person who would eat a big chunk of wet avocado off of the sidewalk at a rest stop? maybe maybe not but unless you were on the side of this farm to market highway watching me fumble with a chipotle bowl and fling it off the side of the table you have no way of knowing what came next and thats what we in the business call plausible deniability

#text #food #unsanitary

[69d]

our timeline’s discord server is an experience... a moment btwn six and @hotshithaxxorbitch​ as immortalized by @woofbeast​

#these Are quotes #ooc #hotshithaxxorbitch #woofbeast

[69d]

trainstabbin​:

great question?? i do not remember most of it. i logged on… said a few things on the tumblr dot com… then turned into a hairy monster and broke my coffee table and crashed through the window so i could run around in the woods, by the looks of things. hopefully no late night hikers were out and about. :(

this happens every damn halloween, but this time it’s halloween AND a full moon, so the curse is like super mega bad!!! i don’t retain any control which is bull shit and lame.

but enough about my lousy furry wet dream shit, dave69. i am more interested in if you found any cool new information or discoveries about whatever shit you dig up! dinosaurs? please be dinosaurs.

can i offer a consolatory f for your coffee table in these trying times

how did you get a holiday specific monster curse and does it ever get thrown out of whack 

like you pull an all nighter at the beginning of the month and confuse your circadian rhythm so the befuckening is delayed until the first of november

also imagine being named ‘dave’ haha major cringe couldnt be me who do you think you are, lil dicky? eddie murphy? usually it is dinosaurs so you were at least closer to the mark than egberta autoaevitas but this time it was pleistocene megafauna which arent really dinosaurs but are still big fucking animals that are way dead so i guess it depends on whats considered a dinosaur in the common eye

a lot of things that arent dinosaurs at all get called dinosaurs all the time and dinosauria is barely a professionally recognized taxonomic family as it is most paleontologists prefer ‘saurian reptiles’ and even then theres a secondary distinction between saurischia and ornithischia before any taxonomic names are given so as far as nomenclature is concerned theres no such thing as a dinosaur but im sure thats not the answer you were looking for big deer really big deer is the answer

#text #trainstoppin