angelzash

[angelzash]

I've never read anything more accurate than 32.

Pt III good omens but i STILL SOMEHOW haven't watched it (and i'm increasingly passive aggressive)

i'm now basically held hostage adopted as mascot by this fandom. it's fine i'm fine *SIGNALS FOR HELP DESPERATELY*

Alright fuckers I swear this time I'm going to get some shit right. Without further ado, here's my third attempt at a good omens summary:

Everything everywhere is queer all at once

Angel Aziraphale and demon Crowley on earth likey each other

The car is a bentley and it is BLACK not silver and everyone is very upset about this. my bad yall it was reflecting light therefore i guessed more silver than black but I'm not Anish Kapoor take your black.

Then it is yellow, and aziraphale likes it. crowley preferred the black because he's a flamboyant emo.

God is a deadbeat absentee parent and you are all children of divorce.

There's a naked archangel and they cause problems for the husbands somehow. By being naked? By being an archangel? By being at their doorstep? Who knows not me

They were actually married for 6000 years, they just are the last to know about it.

Crowley is on fire. Like, he's slaying for sure, but also he is literally on fire, like Aziraphale's bookstore.

The actors like I said before are Michael Sheen and David Tennant but this is the place where I finally admit that I don't actually know who is whom. I'm going to assume Michael is Aziraphale because Michael sounds angel-y and David is Crowley because uh Michaelangelo made David and was gay for him.

Terry Pratchett is not fictional.

He co-wrote the book with @neil-gaiman, who IS fictional, because he does not have social media. Several of you have assured me that he is in fact a fandom inside joke. I like to think he would be proud of me.

They adopt a preteen and Crowley gives him bad advice.

At some point a baby was delivered to someone and was exchanged for the son of Satan. Idk if the baby is the preteen, or the son of satan is the preteen, or neither. This could be a fanfic, I have no way of differentiating the fanfic from canon on tumblr, except that the canon is weirder.

Crowley does not go down a chute. He goes down a telephone cord after making himself microscopic to pole dance on a pin with shroom-induced backgrounds.

During this his stage name is Disco Tony. Get it king go slay you're making better life choices than I am tbh.

Aziraphale is a biblically accurate angel, and you have all gone to extensive lengths to prove this to me. I understood nothing, but there you go.

It's all very queer, just like the fandom.

Crowley is a retired demon but he still sins by breaking the speed limit.

They eat at fancy restaurants and bicker but like in a sexual undercurrent way.

Crowley gives Aziraphale a private dance that is not a lap dance, it is an apology dance, but not in a kinky way, until it is.

Their haircuts keep changing and range from 'this is acceptable and gay' to 'i let a drunk chimpanzee take gardening shears and a blowtorch to my hair'

It's all ineffably queer my good fellows

Everyone keeps trying to convince me Neil Gaiman is the villain yeah no guys I know it's really you. Y'all be like 'SEASON TWO BROKE ME' and then you're making headcanons to make it sadder yeah I see you mmhm.

There is a final fifteen. It is sad. What is it? No one told me.

The demon turns goats into crows and the angel turns them back and then children are turned into newts (does the angel turn them back? who cares not yall) and the demon was the snake in the Eden garden and everyone's furry game seems to be on point.

There are a rather lot of children. I have not seen them. But I am assured they are there. They are, guys. I assume they were turned into the alcohol Aziraphale and Crowley drink or something.

There was an apocalypse plotline. It was averted. It is not important. You don't talk about plotlines in this fandom, no sir.

Crowley doesn't want to go to heaven. Aziraphale is sad.

The kiss is not nice, just like this fandom. It is queer, just like this fandom. It is sad and desperate and masochistic, just like this fandom.

Aziraphale doesn't want to stay back with Crowley. Crowley is sad.

Season 2 ends. Fandom is sad.

Everyone's sanity is hinging on the promise of a happy ending in season 3. Good luck guys.

Y'all better appreciate this. I can't even boast to my mother about this legacy of mine, hey mum your son has been held hostage kidnapped inducted into a cult adopted by a fandom he's not part of look he's winning at life.

#good omens #good omens summary #inaccurate good omens #getting more accurate though #My headstone reads #died laughing #We really are going insane #and we depend on a season 3 with a happing ending for salvation #aziracrow #good omens fandom #ineffably queer

[angelzash]

Pt II good omens but i've still never watched it

so you crazies blew up the other post, and many of you tried to explain the plot to me. many others said there is no plot. many said i was accurate. many said i wasn't. and then i watched a few youtube edits of the angel and the demon.

I'm convinced that I know at least a little bit more now, so like the great guy I am, I decided to share how well you've educated me.

the plot is an angel and demon become alcoholics together while doing the good ol' animal husbandry

neil gaiman doesn't have social media

everyone is crying because the angel wanted to go to heaven and the demon said no

and then the demon did the kissy smoochy to make the angel stay and the angel said no

they were not married for 6000 years but they were more married than married

there is a car. it is silver and crowley likes it.

the car is then yellow. crowley doesn't like it. aziraphale does.

there's some kind of Jane Austen ball and dance

oh but also crowley gives aziraphale a more private dance in their home and he bows while making intensely sexual eye contact with the angel who is turned on and says nice and everyone is gasping about it

no one knows about god, not the fandom, not the characters, not god herself. god is ineffable. hey mum i learned a new word!

they run over an american witch

the angel likes books in a way bordering on obsessive and worshipful

the demon likes the angel in a way bordering on obsessive and worshipful

there's a gramophone

crowley says sorry a bunch of times

aziraphale keeps getting flustered and dying coz of crowley, and the fandom dies every time. crowley is also dying. everyone is dying. hopefully not literally, im now scared of this fandom.

there's a psychedelic drug trip at some point that's in the edits where crowley goes whee down a chute. either that or the sleep deprivation is getting to me. fuck you, good omens fandom.

terry pratchett is a guy

whether he is real, or a character, or like neil gaiman he is neither real nor a character, i am unsure, but he is important and people want me to remember him

crowley likes speeding

#this one finished me off #fanon mixes with canon #poor Neil and Terry #I might need oxygen here #good omens #inaccurate good omens #aziracrow

[angelzash]

Holy crap this made me laugh so hard!

Pt I good omens but i've never watched it

i've never seen good omens but it's all over my tumblr dash so this is what I've gathered can someone please confirm if i've got it right

there's a demon named crowley

there's a biblically inaccurate angel named aziraphale but like it's very sexy when the demon calls him 'angel'

the demon and angel have been married for 6000 years and they still keep looking at each other all sappily

Neil Gaiman is somehow involved, I think he's the writer but also he's on tumblr (uh, @neil-gaiman) and people keep questioning if he's real

is neil gaiman like a fandom inside joke why is everyone asking if he's real

there actors are called michael and david and amazon prime thought they were the same

there is a bookstore and crowley is sad

they kiss and it is very nice and desperate and crowley says we could have been us. i have no context for this. someone is going to heaven i think.

there is a god, i'm not sure if they're good or evil though

the demon wears sunglasses

it's a comedy but for some reason everyone's crying after whatever the last season was, are you guys okay

things are on fire

they are very gay

there was a book and at one point they switch bodies

more fire and crowley screaming

they are called ineffable husbands i dont know what that means

they fight crime or they do crime or they fight crime by doing crime i really cannot remember which

gay

#good omens #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #Dying here #I'm really dying laughing #The answer to 11 is no #But we're fun #hilarious bad explanation of plot

[angelzash]

YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS

More GOOD OMENS

[angelzash]

Nicole Cliffe has a whole twitter thread about funny/horrifying anaesthesia stories that you should read all of, but this is definitely my favourite  

#Hilarious #I love these stories #roflmao

[angelzash]

I JSUT REMEMBERED THE “WHERES THE BABIES” VIDEO AND I NEED TO WATCH IT AGAIN RIGHT FUCKING NOW

#kittens #babies #melting #awwww my heart

[angelzash]

them🍃✨

#the Witcher #geraskier

[angelzash]

Alchera

#Mass Effect #commander shepherd #Femshep

[angelzash]

reading the witcher books after watching the netflix series is such a slap to the face (positive) mostly because of how much sweeter geralt is to everyone but also just because of. everything. I’m mostly talking about how he treats dandelion (jaskier) because the show did them dirty

(all from the last wish and sword of destiny)

netflix geralt: jaskier we aren’t friends >:(

book geralt, absolutely unprompted: ah yes, my dear friend dandelion

and ALSO his dynamic with ciri is absolutely GOLD

(-sword of destiny) like. god I’m liable to get emotional, geralt, stop being sweet

I don’t have pictures but his relationship with yennefer is also so much better in the books and get this

the geraskier mountain divorce didn’t happen

tl;dr if you liked the netflix series (or even if you didn’t) you should definitely check out the books. the characters are so much more developed and the writing style is gorgeous. I’ve read three of them since getting the series last week.

#the witcher #geralt of rivia #geraskier #geralt’s relationships #the witcher netflix #the witcher books

[angelzash]

A pitch invader during Portugal vs Uruguay at the Word Cup in Qatar wearing a shirt reading “Save Ukraine” on the front and “Respect for Iranian Women” on the back and holding a pride flag

[angelzash]

Geralt protecting Jaskier, and then Jaskier saving him in return

#the witcher #geraskier

[angelzash]

friendship ended with netflix witcher now the witcher books are my new best friend

inspired in part by this post from @lakka-arts :)

open for more quality because, well, tumblr.

#the witcher #geraskier

[angelzash]

"And you are?" "Commander Shepard. Alliance Navy. Also really in love with you."

#mass effect #garrus x femshep

[angelzash]

affectionately manhandle your bard geralt seriously

favorite thing about drawing jaskier is that I can give him whatever the fuck kind of outfit I want

#the witcher #geraskier

[angelzash]

husband and wife

#spy x family

[angelzash]

And in those not-so-quiet moments of laughter and lyrics, of flowers in their hair and leaves in the wind-

Geralt finally found what pleases him.

#the witcher

[angelzash]

Safe place

#geraskier #geralt/jaskier #geralt of rivia #jaskier #the witcher #gorgeous