axolotlanarchy

[axolotlanarchy]

The Sorrowful Truth

#minecraft #art

[axolotlanarchy]

i cant get over the king charles portrait. they made that thing to age in his place. that painting hangs in the house of a too-friendly family you find in the post apocalyptic wasteland who inexplicably has a ready supply of fresh meat. if mario jumped into that painting he wouldn't find a charming platformer he would be flayed and hanged like a medieval criminal by an unseeable force in a droning red void. that painting is a color blindness test for people who work in IT but believe in the divine right of kings. that painting is going to weep the sequel to blood. after he dies charles is gonna crawl outta that thing like sadako.

[axolotlanarchy]

One thing most people don't realize about Gazebos is how bloodthirsty they used to be until the 1930s or so. It used to be that in order to appease your average small town gazebo you had to feed it 4-5 marching bands a year, or roughly 2 dozen barbershop groups. Noaways? Throw it a steely dan cover act every 6 months, maybe a bridal party every few years if you're actively trying to court its favor, and you're pretty much in the clear. And the crazy thing is nobody knows why they calmed down, or that their appetite for flesh won't return to its 19th century heights one day. It's actually an increasingly popular theory among modern Gazebo researchers that we're at the tail end of a period of dormancy and it's only a matter of time until they start howling for blood again. And if/when that does happen there's the question of whether our modern zeeb-keepers are really ready for the task of booking enough sacrificial acts to meet that increased demand. Guild policy has gotten lax in the century since the heyday of Dark Pavillionism and a lot of local keepers refuse to even look at newer research that threatened to upsettheir status quo. Kind of scary to think about

[axolotlanarchy]

Shout-out to all the yuri artists who are having to buckle down and teach themselves how perspective works because of Marcille's ears.

#dungeon meshi

[axolotlanarchy]

Being as Dracula Daily is starting up again in about three days, I think this is a perfect opportunity, as we follow along this year, to play the PG-13 game.

For the unfamiliar, the PG-13 game is as follows: you are allowed to insert one and only one instance of the word "fuck" into the text as written. For maximum impact, where do you put it?

[axolotlanarchy]

The real tabletop RPG party dynamic:

Fucker who makes you wonder exactly what's wrong with them

Fucker who you know exactly what's wrong with them

Fucker who seems pretty on the level, then halfway through the campaign you find out what's wrong with them

Fucker whose deal is actually kind of tame, but their inability to be normal about it is what's wrong with them

Fucker whose unshakable conviction that there's nothing wrong with them is what's wrong with them

Fucker who's just happy to be included, and that's what's wrong with them

#dungeon meshi

[axolotlanarchy]

I admit I wasn't super stoked about the Dungeon Meshi anime's choice to give Falin the same lilting, vaguely stoned monotone as every Pink Haired Healer Chick out of the past forty years, but in context, and particularly paired with how the anime chooses to voice Laios, I think it kind of works as another parallel between the two siblings. Laios is Theatrical Affect Autistic while Falin is Flat Affect Autistic.

#dungeon meshi

[axolotlanarchy]

The important thing is that Marcille did not learn to blaspheme against the natural order to save her girlfriend. She just happened to have studied the art of spitting in God's eye for wholly unrelated reasons, and when the opportunity by chance arose to employ that skill in service of girlfriend-saving, she was ready.

#dungeon meshi

[axolotlanarchy]

MARCILLE: So I was wondering...what kind of person is your wife?

ESPRIT DE CORPS (Easy: Success): She'll never be satisfied with bare minimum answers. She wants to know more about you, to connect with you on a genuine interpersonal level.

LOGIC (Easy: Failure): This is obviously not what you want. You are an impenetrable fortress of solitude, and she should respect that.

PAIN THRESHOLD: Also, it's an embarrassing subject.

AUTHORITY (Medium: Success): Well fuck that- Chilchuck Tims does NOT get embarrassed, especially not in front of a mere Wöman. You absolutely cannot tell her the real truth about your marriage and how it ended. It would harm your professional reputation. You've got to redirect this line of questioning.

1. "I'd rather not talk about my personal life on the clock."

2. [Drama- Legendary 14] "What about YOUR love life, Marcille? Have you met any cute boys lately? Tell me about all the cute BOYS you're into, Marcille."

3. Simply ignore her question and hope she doesn't ask it again.

4. [Suggestion- Challenging 12] Lie convincingly about a less embarrassing situation than your wife leaving you and moving in with your daughter. It's very important that whatever lie you come up with is less interesting than the real story, and puts you in a good light to protect your reputation and maintain your professionalism.

CHECK FAILURE!

You:

#love how chilchuck just short-circuits every time he’s faced with any form of emotional vulnerability #dungeon meshi

[axolotlanarchy]

one of my favorite details about chilchuck frm the adventurers bible is that he specifically hates when other half foots infantalize themselves in front of other people and he wants to advocate for half foots to have rights and agency and be seen as adults but also he is so turbo allergic to sharing any information whatsoever about himself that he refuses to tell people his real age and gets infantalized anyway. king of shooting himself in the foot and complaining his sock is wet

#dungeon meshi

[axolotlanarchy]

researching parrying daggers as a fun little treat and i'm delighted by how much every single one of these things looks like it's designed to be as annoying as possible

[axolotlanarchy]

chilchuck moment

#dungeon meshi #art

[axolotlanarchy]

dadchuck is everything to me

#dungeon meshi

[axolotlanarchy]

me, a reasonably depressed edo period pilgrim: just do it. fuck me up

[axolotlanarchy]

the face of a woman who just realized her crush dragged her party through a bunch of dangerous bullshit just so he could have an excuse to talk with this other guy he is obsessed with, and he is not even gonna confront him about stealing their stuff because he wants the other guy to like him

#dungeon meshi

[axolotlanarchy]

There's far too much emphasis placed just on Cass' physical abilities by the fandom. Yes Cassandra Cain could beat up your male fave, but just as crucial to understand is that she would also be really smug about it.

#dc

[axolotlanarchy]

Combining my two biggest fixations atm <3

Edit: bonus comic!!

#dungeon meshi #utdr #art