bearpillowmonster

[bearpillowmonster]

Yeah so we're not even going to the dessert shop I think now because my body won't let me, I don't even feel like sitting down I'm in all this pain. Had to be today and these mfers stressing me out ain't helping none. Stupid butt with all its issues, smh. Now I have to wait a whole f*cking week to actually do anything for my birthday and that's if my body cooperates.

"Things aren't the way they were before. You wouldn't even recognize me anymore. Not that you knew me back then but it all comes back to me in the end, kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart. What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time I tried so hard."

I ended up getting better around 4:30 which was already too late to do anything. My grandma said she was coming over but never did so I asked about it and then she calls not but a few minutes later and my mom has me choosing whether she should come over or I should go over there. I don't care, why do I have to be the one to make these menial decisions, I'd understand if you wanted me to have the liberty but something like that doesn't matter, whatever preference you have.

Then apparently my comments about the cat earlier made my dad mad? Like- I know you just want to use it as an excuse to get yourself something or consider it her birthday present but sheesh louieesh, now I'm the bad guy on my birthday and my mom's the bad guy now too because she actually listened for once and didn't get it (yet). Why all this drama?

My seven year old brother is actually really sweet sometimes and yesterday at the last minute he came up with something to get me and woke up crying because it wasn't here on time but it did get here and it's a little Sonic Prime blind box inside the crystal, it's actually really cool and I didn't expect it because I actually got him one of them for Easter. My grandma ended up getting me a few shirts, this Tron popup book, some resin balls and a Samus figure (all but the shirts were asked for) so overall pretty cool, I just wish I could've done what I planned today before work tomorrow. I try to take my lumps and look for these little things, sitting with my brother playing Jenga and making him macaroni and cheese for starters.

My sister is more worried about her boyfriend than anybody else so she came with me to my grandmas but stayed outside the whole time? She literally stalks his snapchat location, it's not healthy but I understand that's her generational culture as well as her age.

[bearpillowmonster]

It's my birthday today, I had a mental breakdown in the middle of the week and cried myself to sleep. It was the first time in a while that I've cried but this one reached my core because I started to doubt just about everything, normally it's one thing or another and I can sort it but this time it was all. And really some of my worries came to fruition but I'm just hoping this year will get better.

I'm not getting a cake, by choice, I'll probably just snag my own in the middle of the week. I want to go to this dessert shop but it's suddenly this big ordeal with who should go and who shouldn't. I dont care who shows up, my family does because the more people, the more chaotic and less enjoyable it is because nobody gets along. In fact, I said "family" but it doesn't really add up to a family at all because they've created factions that want to celebrate separately, if at all, it's like being a kid with divorced parents all over again and no matter how many times I say it doesn't feel good to be treated that way, it always happens anyway. My mom even asked if she was ever to make a mistake whether I'd tell her and I just didn't answer and I said, it wouldn't make a difference because people will do what people do and I can count the times that exact thing has happened.

This year, it's my grandma buying a beachhouse for herself on my mom's birthday, my mom buying a cat for herself on my birthday, my sister trying to get a concert shirt for herself on my birthday. And todays not even up yet. I mean it's fine to do that on your own but it's funny to me that I got a cup and a pen for my own birthday 🤓 both for work.

I'm not mad or sad really, or even ungrateful, it's just that I feel I'm screaming into the null void when I talk, that's why birthdays and holidays have become so hard on me. I've even tried to raise my mom's birthday since she's sad about the beachhouse but she won't let me, she doesn't want a cake because her doctor told her she had high blood pressure. Her. She's like the most straight and narrow person I know, I told her that doctors sometimes tell you that just to give you pills, they've gotta. The only thing she wants to do is get a smoothie...and obviously buy this cat...

But the cat is from a breeder in a different country, who she's bought from before multiple times and half of them got sick and died from the same thing, why she'd go back and put herself through what she described as one of the most depressing times of her life, I don't know and she has more cats than she knows what to do with, I've actually lost count, I know it's higher than 15 like wtf. So here I am again, like I said, trying to tell her about mistakes and here she is, about to do it anyway. Ta-da. It's like my birthday is over before I even realized it started. Maybe something will happen, maybe it won't, I hesitated uploading this just for that reason but if it changes, I'll just update or make a new post. I'm recording my feelings.

[bearpillowmonster]

Poll: if your mom remarries when you’re 26 years old is that guy still your stepdad or is he just your mom’s husband.

#i do this with my grandma #he's not my grandpa though #he's not apart of my life #he's the stupidhead #anytime someone asks about him i just answer that he's stupid #she's about to abandon my mom's birthday so she can buy a house with him on the beach 500 miles away...for the second time #i've started to reconsider whether she's even my grandma anymore #“we're not related” #“i don't know why he's here”

[bearpillowmonster]

smeargle & togetic peanuts edition

[bearpillowmonster]

I don't normally do this but I wanted you to see it the way I do even if some of it is just game art (and it still bothers me that Balmung doesn't have a 2D full body render other than the concept art.)

But basically I had to stitch together HD versions of the Outbreak cover

and find ones that have as little text covering the characters as possible but Elk takes up so much of that space so I had to go and edit it down so it looks like a full body image (yes, all for that little space where R2 and C3PO usually would be)

I didn't finished the legs because they would've been obscured anyway but I want these assets out there for the future, take them if you're doing fanart. Yeah, I could've copied the left arm but a lot of people don't realize that the two aren't the same, I had to hand cut out everything anyway.

But I did even more work on BlackRose

This is all that image has, there's no full image, the one next to it is different and I could've just used it but I wanted the same Leia pose.

So there's the sword, I went more with the Sign version than the one in the art because I had more references to that and there are differences anyway, like the red thorns on the pants vs gold. For some reason I have an easier time starting from scratch than recoloring or redoing the brightness factor in certain places. I redid those gloves over and over again so that they could see reasonably positioned but man she was the hardest to finish.

The sky is literally the Skeith fight. Same with the ground to some degree, I pulled from a lot, I was going to do fractured data but the quality just didn't work and I wasn't remaking that orange code because it would never work right. Skeith was hand, not great but I needed that pose for Vader. I did a lot with opacity especially Cubia, some pieces more visible than others. All in all, this piece has more layers than I can count and is the most I've ever had on a project so I hope you really do like it.

#.hack #behind the scenes #some assets for you #take them #use it #share them #dot hack

[bearpillowmonster]

Threw a pretty good kingdom hearts birthday party today. Haha!

[bearpillowmonster]

I've been working on this for far too long but I had this idea to make a classic Star Wars poster with .Hack

(most) of the character art was already there, I was just going to edit it until I realized that it didn't all exist yet so I really gave it a bunch of time and thought.

#.hack #poster #star wars inspired #dot hack #fanart #backrose #kite #mia #elk #skeith

[bearpillowmonster]

*gets great responsibility but not great power* this suuuuuucks

[bearpillowmonster]

gonna post my entire stickman reaction pic collection

[bearpillowmonster]

I wasn't happy with the way Citron ended up so here's just Lapis

#lapis lazuli #fanart #steven universe #su #lapis

[bearpillowmonster]

This is cool but at the same time, I'm worried because I finished TLC but they were talking about potential DLC and I haven't even finished my review yet...like chill, this thing is in beta next month! And it's been since Forgotten Sands that we've gotten anything whatsoever so I don't know what to make of a whole new one.

The gameplay design is relatively similar though there are some very key things that I love like being able to run up walls whichever way you're facing

Another new PoP? Ubisoft and Evil Empire deliver The Rogue Prince of Persia in May

Hot on the heels of the last release, Ubisoft and developer Evil Empire are cooking up another original take on Prince of Persia.

[bearpillowmonster]

archers gloves vs digital artist gloves being opposite of one another

[bearpillowmonster]

Came up with this idea for a piece

#steven universe #citron #lapis lazulu #lapis #lapis lazuli #fanart

[bearpillowmonster]

I decided to do a writing exercise, a bit hypothetical. Smash gets brought up as a movie all the time but all in all, who do you cut? So I made a chart and that sort of informed my story ideas.

This doesn't represent my views on the characters, just who I view as essential from a storytelling pov, if it were actually me doing it, I'd want to cameo everyone but here we are. C is Cameo, M is Main, X is obvious. I thought up that we would have to limit it to Endgame numbers which ends up being around 27 who weren't just soldiers like M'Baku, give or take, I cut it down to 25 mains and 8 cameos.

It's sloppy but I couldn't find a good tiermaker one so I just drew one up real quick. The first 12 are the originals, we can't cut any of them but some of them should be their representative of that franchise. Samus is the same person so I made her a half and half which I did later on with another character.

The first 4 cameos are from their respective worlds before their ally gets torn away, Mario, Link, Fox, etc. Petey is one of the most synonymous because of Brawl and how asinine it was that he was a playable character so he should have a little moment of just being a piranha plant. Sonic is also one of the biggest additions to the roster, while there was a lot of hype surrounding just about every one of them, Sonic might have been the most if adjusted for the state things at the time it happened. We need some villains so DeeDee, Meta Knight (transportation), Ganon should show up but be outclassed by Master Hand and whatever other villain decides to show their face.

Pikmin is a mainstay of the Nintendo brand, ROB is literally a symbol of that, Game and Watch is meant to be cute but deadly since he can't talk but neither can ROB really so maybe they can be interchangeable. Villager is another mainstay since Animal Crossing is so big now, also silent so could potentially be interchangeable but I'd rather not, also why Isabelle is there, I think he should be the one to get an actual invitation just like in the trailers. Roy is a fan favorite and a good one for the team to recruit when they feel defeated, Marth will mention of a great warrior in his land and the two team up. Little Mac is a good recruit as well, can't stack up and beat Mike Tyson so they find him and it's his chance to prove himself before his big fight. They attempt Pokemon Trainer but it fails. Pac is a wild card.

Wario is a surprise, riding on his bike, saying that he couldn't let Mario have the spotlight and jumped in the portal just a moment before closing. Mewtwo is their big ol' powerhouse and one the fans will appreciate, represents more than Pokemon but Brawl. I planned Ryu showing up at the very end to win the battle, Mewtwo and Ryu hadouken at the same time. And Link is special because we have adult Link but we also have either Toon or Young Link as well, showing that different versions of them exist and how Link learns that he can time travel. Gotta have So Happy Together be in the movie and we're in business.

#smash bros #super smash bros #writing #draft #picks for the movie #outline #i did it nintendo #thank me later

[bearpillowmonster]

(makes TikTok) "I'm a voice actor."

(proceeds to do impressions of voices that aren't mine.)

#tiktok #“i'm a voice actor” #try and stop me

[bearpillowmonster]

Quadratum / KH4 / Twewy x KH Crossover masterpost!!

Collected these together, so those who've missed stuff can see the extent of all of my musings..

[bearpillowmonster]