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bfkunimi · 3 years

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changed from bfkeiji → bfkunimi

finally changing my name bc in reality i've been in love with kunimi more than akaashi for a while now sjldhkhsdf

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bfkunimi · 3 years

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not me writing a new fic without finishing my last one )): I PROMISE I’LL FINISH FALLEN FLOWER THIS WEEK CANT MAKE EXCUSES ANYMORE! esp since im already writing a new one heh.

but this new one is gonna be a kunimi x reader fic. it’s a mix of a fic and a smau! super excited about that one bc kunimi is my no.1 favorite character! and when i had the idea i started writing right away and i already have 10 chapters written lol

but im sorry for delaying my fics, i promise i’ll be better and work harder! hope you’re all doing well! ♡

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bfkunimi · 3 years

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writing two chapters tonight! so maybe i’ll have a double upload tomorrow!! hope you’re all doing well and had an amazing holiday! stay hydrated and take care yourselves ♡

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bfkunimi · 3 years

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merry christmas to everyone who celebrates it! hope you guys have an amazing and safe holiday! i love you all so much <33

also i will upload a chapter very very soon i promise! so please look out for that! but happy holidays everybody!

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bfkunimi · 3 years

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Hii! Don’t worry about uploading! Just take care of yourself and get better soon! 😘💜

omg thank you so much, you’re so sweet! but i'll do my best to recover asap so i can start uploading again! ♡♡♡

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bfkunimi · 3 years

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hi hi everyone so i haven’t been uploading new chapters bc ya girl got rona plus is dealing with finals so im miserable rn ): but school will be done next week so i’ll def get a chapter out then! reminder for everyone to stay safe and healthy please it’s really important <3

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bfkunimi · 3 years

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♡ helloo, so i said i was feeling better but i got sad again and ended up writing a long chapter lol hope you guys are liking this series, it’s been ironically comforting for me to write this so please love it a lot!

pairings: Kuroo x Tsukishima, Tsukishima x Yamaguchi, Kuroo x Kenma

genre: angst, hanahaki disease au, pain

warnings: will make you cry, made me cry lol, hospital setting, cheating, thoughts of suicide

notes: hanahaki disease: a fictional disease born from unrequited love, where the patient’s throat will throw and cough up petals and flowers. but this isn’t a typical hanahaki au, in this story.. the main character (in this case it’s kuroo) finds out that his partner (aka tsukki) doesn’t love him anymore because he started developing the disease.

if you want to be added to the taglist just send me an ask! ♡

𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯 | 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟒. 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝, 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬, & 𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐬 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭

kenma was right when he said he’ll be with me always. he hasn’t left my side ever since i was brought here, and it’s already been two weeks.

luckily he brought all his chargers for his phone and game consoles, so at least he wont be bored. but im sure he’s sick of this.

who knows how long i’ll be here in the hospital, im honestly not getting any better. everyday it gets harder to breathe, every time i cough it feels like my throats being ripped off my neck, and there’s always this heavy feeling in my chest. almost like there’s a gaping hole in it.

there’s still no sign from kei. but i know when kenma thinks im asleep, he calls him to give him updates everyday. most of the time kei doesn’t answer, but kenma still always leaves him a voicemail.

that thought. it still hasn’t left my mind.

as more days pass, the more i want to do it. it’s so tempting, the thought’s so addicting. maybe this is my cure.

the sweet relief of death.

these past two weeks, i’ve been thinking of how i’ll do it. it’s kind of impossible because kenma never leaves my side, he doesn’t sleep much but when he does it’s a small window. i have an idea bu-

“tetsu..”

me and kenma look up at the same time, seeing kei at the door.

“kenma, can me and kuroo talk privately?”

“mhm” kenma looks at me sincerely, squeezes my hand, and mouths “i’ll be back” while smiling at me. i smile back at him and he then steps outside.

kei looks so good. i fucking missed him so much. i'm glad he’s finally here.

but as sits where kenma was, the first thing i see is a ring on his finger.

my heart stopped. god can this get any worse?

he catches me staring at it. he meets my eyes and says, “that’s actually why i came today.”

“kei.. don’t.. please.” i'm begging him to not say it.

he takes my hand, sighs, looks into my eyes and says...

“im here to say my final goodbye to you.. me and tadashi got engaged recently and i think it wouldn’t be fair to you to keep you hanging or lead you into thinking we still have a chance to be together again. this is why i havent been visiting or contacting you.”

im starting to feel that hole in my chest again.

“i know i’m a dick for doing all this, but i know you’re already suffering enough and i don’t want to make you feel any worse. that’s why i asked kenma to take care of you for me, i know you two share a special bond since you were kids and that kenma would do anything for you. so i thought it was perfect. he’s been giving me updates on you everyday but later im gonna ask him to stop. me and tadashi decided to move back to miyagi and start our life together there. im sorry for saying this tetsu but this will be the last time you’ll see me.”

it’s getting emptier.. and emptier..

“i want to start fresh with tadashi and being here in tokyo, won’t help any of us. even you. i want you to be healthy and recover from this, so please forget about me. find someone new or just focus on yourself and your goals, but don’t hold on to me. it will only make you worse. but thank you for everything for these past five years. thank you for loving me wholeheartedly and for always being there for me. i’ll never forget our time together. just please take care for me okay? do everything you can to overcome this hanahaki disease, recover and live happily, it’s the one thing i ask of you.”

it feels like he’s stabbing me.

he pulls me in for a hug, and i grab onto him tight not wanting to let go.

but i love the pain.. i love him. fuck I can't live without him..

“i love you kei, please.. don’t go..”

he pulls away from the hug and looks at me for the last time.

“goodbye tetsu, im sorry.”

he leaves and tries to find kenma.

blood, tears and petals scatter the bed, as i cough and bawl my eyes out.

- kenma’s pov -

(bolded italicized is kenma’s internal responses to tsukki)

“can you just leave and live your life the way you want?” god im so fucking pissed, how could do that to kuroo?

“leave kuroo alone. and don’t bother coming back to his life because you’re the sole reason why he’s suffering right now. if you care about him even a little bit, don't lead him on, don’t give him hope, just cut him off.” he’s probably devastated right now, ah i gotta check on him.

“it’s what's best for him.” right after i deal this shithead.

he grabs my hand and says, “okay i will, but please do me a favor.”

“take care of him for me? don’t ever let him go.” i will never be like you

“never. i would never make that mistake.” bc unlike you i love him so much

he finally left.

ugh kuroo doesn’t deserve that jerk, he threw him away when he needed him the most. i cant leave him alone, i need to stay by his side. but...

he’s gone. as i walk back into his room, all i see is an empty bed, nothing but blood, tears, and petals.

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bfkunimi · 3 years

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♡ hi hi new chapter coming tonight!

also i made an anitwt: @/bfsakira!! if you guys have

twt, let’s be moots there!

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bfkunimi · 3 years

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♡ hi hi! im back! so im feeling better but that aint stopping me from finishing this story! i think i'll update my smau too! (shameless plug lol) but yess it’s boutta get long, serious and interesting so hope y’all like it. also i know it was kuroo’s bday a few days ago but i didn’t want him to go through these horrible sad things on his bday ): our kuroo deserves to be happy because he deserves the whole world!

pairings: Kuroo x Tsukishima, Tsukishima x Yamaguchi, Kuroo x Kenma

genre: angst, hanahaki disease au, pain

warnings: will make you cry, made me cry lol, hospital setting, cheating, thoughts of suicide

notes: hanahaki disease: a fictional disease born from unrequited love, where the patient’s throat will throw and cough up petals and flowers. but this isn’t a typical hanahaki au, in this story.. the main character (in this case it’s kuroo) finds out that his partner (aka tsukki) doesn’t love him anymore because he started developing the disease.

if you want to be added to the taglist just send me an ask! ♡

𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯 | 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟑. 𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐧 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭

- loud ass video game noises -

the sounds coming from a video game, woke me up as i found myself in a hospital once again..

kei was nowhere to be found.

without even looking i knew who was right by my side, it was kenma.. my best friend since we were kids.

kei must’ve sent him to take care of me. why couldn’t he come here himself?

oh. wait. he doesn’t love me anymore.. still he could’ve had the decency to stay with me until i was better.. but i guess im just a burden to him now.

kenma sees me waking up and rushes to call the doctor.

“sir you passed out due to your hanahaki disease. im afraid you’re in critical condition. you’ll need to stay here for a while so we can monitor you to make sure nothing goes wrong. however, your lungs are flooded with petals... thats not a good sign and if it gets worse we may need to do surgery.”

the thought of surgery scared the shit out of me.

i heard most hanahaki related surgeries weren’t that successful, i remember reading that they had a 65% success rate. and that 35% fucking scares me.

not that i was afraid to die but i was afraid for kei who i know would feel guilty for being the cause of my death, he may not love me anymore but i know he’s a caring person. it’s one of the things i learned about him when we got together. on the outside kei is a hard exterior who just seems like an asshole but on the inside he was soft and kind. he really cares about the people that mean a lot to him.

but wait.. do i even mean anything to him anymore? even if i stay alive i'll just continue to be a burden to him. hmm..

i dont want to be a burden to anyone. not to kei, not to kenma. so maybe it’s just better for me to-

“kuroo? kuroo? KUROO? are you okay” kenma had this concerned look on his face.

i didn’t even realize the doctor had left, i didn’t even notice that i was grabbing the sheets of the hospital bed and pools of tears were pouring from my eyes.

“did he ask you to stay with me?” i could barely look at him but he slowly lifted my head and looked at me.

“mhm” he said, never taking his eyes off me.

“im sorry kenma, you dont have to stay. i can handle it myself”

he then made his annoyed face (y’all know what face lol) and says “no kuroo, don’t start thinking you’re a burden again. i know you well, whenever you feel like you’re not doing your best or whenever you feel shitty about yourself or when you don’t want to accept help from anyone even though you need it, you start to blame yourself and think you’re burden to this world.

but you know you’re never a burden to me, you’re one of the few people i care about and i know what you’re going through seems like the world is ending but no matter how hard it is i'll be here for you always. so stop worrying about being a burden and just focus on getting better.”

kenma’s words were comforting. he doesn’t say much, but when he talks seriously like this it really means he cares.

but those feelings of being a burden. i can’t stop worrying about them. i can’t help but think i'm heavy weight to all the people i love.. kei doesn’t even want to take care of me, let alone visit me in the hospital. kenma is saying he’ll be by my side but the longer im sick im sure he’ll want to leave me too.

i can’t stop thinking about the only solution to this.. maybe i should just-

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bfkunimi · 3 years

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♡ my feelings are becoming worse which means another chapter is out! hope this weeks chapter will be more clearer and have more context. please enjoy my pain lol

pairings: Kuroo x Tsukishima, Tsukishima x Yamaguchi

genre: angst, hanahaki disease au, pain

warnings: will make you cry, made me cry lol, hospital setting, cheating

notes: hanahaki disease: a fictional disease born from unrequited love, where the patient’s throat will throw and cough up petals and flowers. but this isn’t a typical hanahaki au, in this story.. the main character (in this case it’s kuroo) finds out that his partner (aka tsukki) doesn’t love him anymore because he started developing the disease.

if you want to be added to the taglist just send me an ask! ♡

𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯 | 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟐. 𝐰𝐡𝐲? 𝐰𝐡𝐲? 𝐰𝐡𝐲? | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭

i froze at the sight of kei’s picture at my doctors desk. dr. yamaguchi tadashi, no wonder his name sounded so familiar when the e.r. doctor told me his name. he’s kei’s childhood friend, his first love.

the nurse who escorted me said i needed to see him every week. but how am i supposed to keep meeting with the guy who’s the reason why i feel like im dying? my doctor is the reason why this disease is happening to me. how ironic. it’s almost funny. but i cant even laugh without choking on these fucking flowers.

“kuroo... im sor-“ but i left before he said anything else. i went straight home, without looking back, without stopping. i needed to see him and i needed to know why.

“KEI? ARE YOU HOME?” i was practically screaming, desperately hoping he was home.

“tetsu calm down, im here” he sounded worried.

“why? why the fuck is this happening? why aren’t you in love with me anymore? and why tadashi again? i thought you buried your love for him back in high school? why are you putting me through death?!” im sure he didn’t understand anything i was saying. my voice was slowly giving out and my cries made my words incoherent.

but he knew exactly how i felt.. he always did. without a word being said, kei knew what i was thinking and feeling.

“i lost feelings for you tetsu. i lost feelings for a while now. and i had no idea why, trust me i was just as confused as you. we were together for five years and i thought we were happy, but something in me changed.” he hesitated but continued.

“i knew tadashi worked with people who have the hanahaki disease, i figured he'd have knowledge about relationships and the downfalls of it, so i turned to him for advice. and when i saw him again after all those years.. it became clear why i wasn’t happy with you anymore, why i didn’t feel the same way. i was longing for him... and i'm still in love with him, tetsu.”

“why didn’t you just leave me then? why did you have to cheat on me? WHY DID I HAVE TO FIND OUT THIS WAY? i said this with every last breath i had left. petals pouring out my mouth... as i passed out. now im seeing nothing but black.

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bfkunimi · 4 years

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hey could you not tag irrelevant ships in your kurotsuki fic? it’s kind of rude. i understand wanting to get it out there, but not everyone is interested in that ship.

hi! totally get what you’re saying but im kind of foreshadowing by tagging them in the fic... if it’s still a problem i guess i can just add it when those characters appear and take those tags off.

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bfkunimi · 4 years

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♡ hi im back to make you all sad! projecting all your emotions into work you love to do is the best coping mechanism omg. but pls enjoy today’s chapter!

pairings: Kuroo x Tsukishima

genre: angst, hanahaki disease au, pain

warnings: will make you cry, made me cry lol, hospital setting

notes: hanahaki disease: a fictional disease born from unrequited love, where the patient’s throat will throw and cough up petals and flowers. but this isn’t a typical hanahaki au, in this story.. the main character (in this case it’s kuroo) finds out that his partner (aka tsukki) doesn’t love him anymore because he started developing the disease.

if you want to be added to the taglist just send me an ask! ♡

𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯 | 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏. 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭

why? why is this happening? i gave him everything, all of my love to him. why is he falling out of love? i felt myself drowning in the flower petals i coughed up. going deeper and deeper, the smell of roses wafting through my nose, the air becoming thinner. why?

“doctor.. he’s regaining consciousness.” i heard a woman saying faintly as i slowly open my eyes, to find myself in the emergency room.

“where’s kei?” “is he here?” “did he take me to the hospital?” every question i asked was never answered. and just about a million of them popped into my head as the doctor entered the room.

“son, im afraid you have the hanahaki disease, do you know what that is?” i nodded hesitantly. “but i have a long term boyfriend, how is that even possible? i thought it was only for one sided love?” the doctor gave me a condescending look and sighed while saying, “you’re a rare case since you have a significant other, but im sorry to say that you probably know what that means.” “i will refer you to our specialist, who can help with your recovery.” “and i will also give you a prescription of medication to help with the coughs. it should help ease the pain for abit” “now, if you have any questions, give Dr. Yamaguchi Tadashi, a call. he’ll be there to help you throughout the way. we’ll set an appointment with him right now, you’ll meet with him next week.” “that’ll be all, i hope you feel better.” and just like that he was gone.

he didn't even give me a chance to ask further questions. he barely answered my first one.

well, i guess there’s no way in denying it. kei doesn’t love me anymore. but why? was he in love with someone else? do i need to change something about myself? what’s wrong with me? i had a whirlwind of questions flooding my brain, they never stopped. and they were never answered.

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bfkunimi · 4 years

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♡ been feeling hella sad lately and decided to project all my sadness into writing, so this is gonna be really angsty. IM SORRY FOR THE PAIN but i had to do this.

pairings: Kuroo x Tsukishima

genre: angst, hanahaki disease au, pain

warnings: will make you cry, made me cry lol

notes: hanahaki disease: a fictional disease born from unrequited love, where the patient’s throat will throw and cough up petals and flowers. but this isn’t a typical hanahaki au, in this story.. the main character (in this case it’s kuroo) finds out that his partner (aka tsukki) doesn’t love him anymore because he started developing the disease.

if you want to be added just send me an ask! ♡

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟎𝟎. | 𝐢𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐛𝐞

i thought we were perfectly fine. we were so happy, you made me feel like the happiest man on in the universe. we were so in love or so i thought. that night, when the first petal came out of my mouth… i felt my heart shatter.

Keep reading

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bfkunimi · 4 years

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♡ been feeling hella sad lately and decided to project all my sadness into writing, so this is gonna be really angsty. IM SORRY FOR THE PAIN but i had to do this.

pairings: Kuroo x Tsukishima

genre: angst, hanahaki disease au, pain

warnings: will make you cry, made me cry lol

notes: hanahaki disease: a fictional disease born from unrequited love, where the patient’s throat will throw and cough up petals and flowers. but this isn't a typical hanahaki au, in this story.. the main character (in this case it’s kuroo) finds out that his partner (aka tsukki) doesn’t love him anymore because he started developing the disease.

if you want to be added just send me an ask! ♡

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟎𝟎. 𝐢𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐛𝐞 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭

i thought we were perfectly fine. we were so happy, you made me feel like the happiest man on in the universe. we were so in love or so i thought. that night, when the first petal came out of my mouth... i felt my heart shatter.

i’ve heard of this. it’s the hanahaki disease. but it doesn’t make sense, it’s only meant for one sided love, me and kei have been together for years. he loves me, i know that for sure. so why is this happening? i know! a flower fell into my mouth while i was sleeping! thats the only explaination, it cant be the disease. it can't.

but as time went by, it was no longer a coincidence. there’s no way a flower could’ve flown through the window and in to my mouth every single day. it actually became worse, some nights i would cough up blood, i felt my lungs becoming more and more full. the pain was excruciating. but not as bad as the emotional suffering. kei was acting like everything was normal. but as the disease became worse, it became apparent that my love for him was becoming one sided.

what changed? why is kei hiding his feelings? has he fallen in love with someone else? all kinds of questions flooded my head as i coughed up another petal. why? why doesnt he love me anymore?

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bfkunimi · 4 years

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HI EVERYONE IM BACK!!

im sorry i haven’t updated my smau in a while, i’ve been very busy ever since school started and now i’m also going through some personal stuff... but don’t worry i'll try to update it asap!

BUT WITH ALL THIS SADNESS IN ME, i ended up writing this HELLA angst mini fic. I'm about to post it, so please cry with me and enjoy this new fic!

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bfkunimi · 4 years

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Can you please add me to the taglist? 👉👈

yes of course bb! 💖☺️

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bfkunimi · 4 years

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THE GREAT MONSTER WORLD

#haikyuu spoilers #but omg this chapter was so beautiful #im getting depressed bc its ending soon ):#haikyuu!!

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