I DID MOT KNOW I NEEDES THIS
random judexcardan headcanons
cardan, much like jude, has a very light sleep
he wakes up at the smallest of movements from jude
and, at times, she feels him stir in the middle of the day
even with curtains fully drawn and the room etched in darkness and the warm body next to him-
cardan’s breathing changes
just with the flutter of a bird’s wings outside their window
and jude knows, she feels him wake, and that’s when she, herself, wakes, too
“Cardan.”
he turns to her, pulls her closer, and does not respond
he tucks her into him, his chin on top of her head, his arms snaking around her
they’ve learned to read each other by now
silence from him means he does not wish to speak of whatever it is troubling him
still
jude watches his bare chest
feels the way his heart slows beneath her hand at her closeness
“Cardan,” she says again, softer this time, because her heart is filled with strange anxiousness, a sort of hopelessness, at seeing him like this
her smirky, snarky husband
now clinging to her
as if for dear life
“Sleep, Jude.” His tone is soft, layered with sleep
she feels his breath atop her head
“It is almost twilight,” she mumbles. “Will you look at me?”
he finds it a strange request, but does nonetheless
in the darkness, jude’s eyes seem ablaze
he watches her as she watches him
analysing
he wonders what she sees
at last, she whispers, quite sadly, “You’ve had dreams.”
silence, for he can’t lie
“Do you wish to speak of them?”
“No.”
Jude nods, sighing softly. “It hurts to see you like this,” she admits. “And knowing I can do nothing to make it better.”
“You do,” he says, closing his eyes, nuzzling his face closer. “My Jude, my wife.”
Jude’s smile suddenly grows, her eyes fluttering shut as their noses touch. “You insist on calling me that.”
“Is that not what you are?”
“You’re distracting me. Avoiding this conversation.”
Cardan sighs, at last pulling away
but jude touches his arm, so gently, and says, “I thought you wanted me to let go of my shield. I did. Why don’t you drop yours?”
Cardan looks at her, sadness in his eyes
and the truth is - he wants to
but at the end of the day, some things just do not have an explanation
“You have been tense,” she murmurs, sitting up on the bed. “Nervous. Not sleeping. Sometimes I catch you looking at me as if you’re wondering if something is wrong-”
the orange tint of the skies, so strong in the twilight hour, manages to slip through the windows, and beneath the dark curtains. The breeze moves the fabric, making it sway, and the orange glint catches Jude’s eye for a moment, that blazing brown, and, for that second, as cardan looks at her, in that single moment-
he stops
starts
jude blinks. “What?”
he freezes, moving slowly into a sitting position, as she is
staring
and staring
and staring
“Jude,” he breathes
jude touches her face, her neck, her face growing worried. “What is it?”
he blinks then, cocking his head to the side
watching her
the glint he caught in her eye
that strange light-
“Cardan,” jude insists
his eyes travel down her body, the thin nightgown
the glow of her skin
down, and down - to her middle
“What are you looking at?” she breathes
he pauses, and his eyes meet hers
and then: “Do you have news?”
just that
Do you have news?
jude swallows hard, watching him with a mixture of bafflement and guilt
but there is not a whiff of anger or frustration in him
just-
a hint of surprise
without saying a word, he touches her leg behind her knee, and pulls her body to him
jude’s breath hitches in surprise, her body half laying down, her legs on either side of his waist
and as cardan’s eyes skim every inch and corner of her-
she knows that he knows
“I was going to tell you.”
“When?”
jude pauses, heart beating out of her chest, her mouth opening but her words failing her, always failing her
cardan leans over her, and jude’s breath comes out in shaky puffs
she’s smiling
cardan nears her, touches his nose to her jawline
he pauses, eyes closed, and takes a breath. slowly, he whispers, “I am not sure how I was able to miss it.”
jude bites her lip, fascinated with his behaviour
the way that he picked it up
the smallest, non-existing sign-
and he got it
“Of course,” he murmurs, pulling back
“I was going to tell you,” she murmurs again. “Tomorrow.”
“Why tomorrow?”
jude pauses, shrugging, “I… wanted to go to the human world. Be checked by a do- a healer. A human healer. Just to… just to be sure.”
cardan eyes her, moonlight dancing in his eyes. “Be sure, Jude,” he leans over her, touching his lips to her nose. “Be sure, it is our child you are carrying.”
jude breathes out, touching his cheeks. “How did you-?”
“So many signs,” he says, sighing. Shaking his head. “I should have known sooner. Your eyes, the way your breathing has changed. Your scent-”
“You can pick up those things,” she murmurs. It’s not a question - more like fact of wonder
he nods, touching her cheeks. “It all makes sense now.”
“Your anxiousness,” she completes, watching his eyes. “You knew before you knew. Even before I, myself, knew.”
cardan stays silent, watching her face. “It is soon.”
jude blinks. “For whom?”
cardan touches her bottom lip with the tip of his thumb. “For you, is it not? I heard… well, it came in conversation with oldest sister once, and she said humans have children when they are much older. I must inquire about your happiness, then. Did you expect…” there’s a fear to him now, just under the surface. “Did you expect it to happen so soon?”
“No,” she breathes, holding his hand to her cheek. “Not so soon. But I am not… sad. Nor was I angry or frightened when I discovered it yesterday. Surprised, yes. But-” Jude pauses. “If it makes you happy…”
Cardan smiles then, touching his nose to hers, “If it makes you happy…”
she smiles as his lips touch hers, “Yes,” she murmurs. “Yes, it makes me happy.”
***
cute898 iamthebonecarver faerytalesfromtheabyss space-buns-arsinoe
907 notes
·
View notes