bulldagger-bait

[bulldagger-bait]

when i dont know enough in an area of my special interest

[bulldagger-bait]

stephen about diana:

#me

[bulldagger-bait]

A bird wanted to join the game.

[bulldagger-bait]

[bulldagger-bait]

[bulldagger-bait]

make this happen, pls.

[bulldagger-bait]

Things that can happen in DID/OSDD but people don’t talk about them as much:

An alter being co-conscious or influencing you without you knowing.

Being aware of a co-con alter but not knowing who they are.

Having difficulty telling apart your inner experiences. (Was that an alter or was I just feeling differently or was I just daydreaming?)

Having difficulty identifying your own emotions. (I feel “something”)

Knowing how to do something yet feeling like you don’t or shouldn’t know how to do it. (How do I know how to use this phone? I feel like it’s 1998 when I didn’t know what a phone was yet.)

Being in a familiar place/situation yet feeling confused, like it’s unfamiliar. (I’ve lived in this house for 7 years but I feel like this is my first time ever being in it.)

Being confused that your body is smaller/taller than you thought.

Feeling or being unable to do things that you normally can do at other times. (I just couldn’t drive the other day. I don’t know how. I just forgot how to do it.)

Things that happened a few days ago feel like months ago, or things that happened months ago feel like a few days ago.

Experiencing pain, headaches, visual impairment, or other physical symptoms that doctors can’t find a cause for.

Waking up as a different alter than the one who went to bed.

A co-conscious alter being able to influence or take control of certain body parts (like using the arms to hold & comfort you).

Being unable to tell if you’re dreaming or awake.

Feel free to add on!

#for real my DID makes me feel so disconnected from everything sometimes #i dont form memories correctly anymore. like my brain is so trauma scorched that they dont translate from short to long term #i just... dont remember things that happen to me #and i dont even feel real that often anymore. im just in a cognitive soup with different versions of myself #my own hands are my biggest dissociation trigger. the second i start trying to be mindful about them i just start floating away #and ive gotten so used to how numb i feel all the time that grounding is so hard sometimes #being present and mindful is so hard but dear god im trying #recovering with this disorder feels like trying to solve a maze with the walls covered in mirrors #im trying to find myself and who i am but theres so much confusion #and one insignificant thing can happen and suddenly youre zoomed in on the moment like looking through a microscope #and you see the past and yourself so clearly and suddenly become so self aware and reflective #and then you brush your teeth and go about the rest of your day like everything's normal because it has to be #sometimes you break down in the car on the way to your appointment and then you leave everything in a pile on the seat to come back to later #you lose it and then you have to shopping. or shower. or make yourself food #i feel magnetically compelled to keep moving. like im on a treadmill and i cant stop walking. i just keep going on #even when everything's falling apart i just keep going because thats what i know. #i look so normal to people on the outside. so ordinary you'd never think twice. like nothings wrong. thats the whole point #but it's like carbon monoxide poisoning. you just keep breathing like everythings perfectly fine until you pass out #i remember when i was younger never being able to tell if something happened or if i dreamt it. was it a memory or imagined. #now i cant even feel time passing anymore. you need reference points you can remember for that #i know ive done things but i dont remember the experience of living them anymore. theres no sensory memory anymore #but hey some people online have sensationalised and faked this disorder to the point that the intake psychiatrist at the psych ward #thought i was making it up. like it was a delusion she was playing along with while i was describing it to her. so while some random guy got #given every treatment in the book for his PTSD. i got an anti depressant change and told to go to group therapy. and this was a ward #that offered psychedelic therapy for ptsd as well as emdr. ect. and whatever that one is thats like ect but its with magnets?? #but hey at least i have a ~quirky personality trait~

[bulldagger-bait]

a lot of people say twink bc they want to say faggot. and they don't even necessarily realize. but they do

pro tip, if you're using twink to mean:

- loser

- effeminate in a negative way

- weak

- pathetic

- annoying

you are probably being homophobic and probably just using it as a free pass alternative for gay or faggot. you're not slick it's not okay and you need to think about your words more. you're not immune to doing this if you're queer either I've seen a LOT of people doing this all across the sexuality labels.

[bulldagger-bait]

Anyone with nipple RINGS instead of barbells is fucking off their rocker insane and stupid but also 100000% braver than anyone else in the world ever Also they have inhuman luck and skill to have so far avoided the Terrible Fate That Will Befall Them

#think about it. if u (still) have nipple rings. youre one of the lucky ones. youre a god among us until you one day fall #peace and love you batshit risktaker it looks dope as hell #one tug and your shit's coming off like pepperonis

[bulldagger-bait]

Thomas Jefferson experiences dysphoria

[bulldagger-bait]

Ever felt so healthy u just want to smoke crack do molly, heroin, coke, ketamine, mdma, fentanyl, smoke some weed, cigarrettes, vape and drink orange fanta

[bulldagger-bait]

#FLY #the places i could go without a wheelchair

[bulldagger-bait]

losing my mind at this

[bulldagger-bait]

if i had super speed im sure people would be like "how could you possibly have super speed" and i would be like "ok, ill prove it. name something you can get at a grocery store" and they would be like "hmmm okay. cheddar cheese" and then i would use my super speed to shave their head completely bald almost instantly. theyll never see it coming

[bulldagger-bait]

[bulldagger-bait]

one of my favorite things about FMA's worldbuilding is that you get to gradually realize how edward elric is the only person who dresses like that

[bulldagger-bait]

Touchscreens do not belong in cars