Being single forever and never experiencing romance is only sad for someone who actually wants to have those things.
When an aromantic person says they’ll be single forever, that’s not “sad.” That’s just a statement of what they want out of their life.
Imagine if I responded to someone calling their partner their other half with “that’s actually kind of sad. Are you saying you’re not a whole person on your own? Why would you want to be trapped with someone who makes you feel like you’re incomplete without them? Are you okay? Do you need help?” They would probably be annoyed with me and I can’t blame them. But that’s coming from the fact that they’re not viewing it the way I am; they’re actually happier with the person.
Personally, as an aromantic, I’ve never felt more broken than when I’ve tried to force myself to date and be alloromantic like everyone else. I would be miserable in a relationship no matter how healthy it was because I wouldn’t feel any of those feelings they’re feeling and I’d feel stuck either being honest and hurting them or playing the part for their sake and feeling even worse. And a major reason for all that is cause I don’t even actually want any of that. I’ve just also felt like I didn’t get a choice because before I discovered the aro community, as far as I could see, nobody was willing to entertain the idea of someone being single because they wanted to. You see characters in media that say “I don’t do romance” and they’re always paired up with someone in the end and always portrayed as happier for it. You see characters that actually stay single forever and they’re shown as having something so wrong with them nobody would willingly date them. You step outside of fiction and you talk to people and it’s never if you’ll get married, it’s always when. When you go to prom. When you have your first kiss. When you start dating. When you fall in love. When. When. When. Never if. Because god forbid we consider the possibility you won’t. God forbid we consider you might not even want to. And if they don’t, then we start dragging out the godforsaken yet. I don’t get crushes… yet. I don’t date… yet. I don’t want romance in my life… yet. When did you get your first crush? I’m 28. When will I be old enough for you to stop saying yet? And if this sounds romance negative, sorry, I’m just sharing how I’m feeling about it. But if you don’t want more aros as angry and sad about it all as me, maybe do us a favor and stop treating romance like something as inevitable as death and taxes.
I initially planned for this post to be way shorter but I don’t think I could find a shorter way to express the gravity of how insufferable it is to be told “that’s so sad” when I say I want to stay single. Cause if I’m being real, it isn’t fully comparable to any annoying thing I can say to an alloromantic. It won’t have the same weight. Throwing salt at someone’s face might lead to it getting in their eyes, but it won’t sting like it would if you did it to someone covered head to toe in paper cuts.
I don’t feel like I’m asking for much. Just entertain the notion that someone can be happy without a romantic partner. That being single, temporarily or for life, isn’t a sad fate.
the actual biggest mystery of heartbreak high season 2 is how the scariest looking white man managed to bag two of the baddest bitches at Hartley.......
whenever i'm trying to talk myself out of buying something i don't need i always hear my old russian professor's voice echoing in my head: "WHAT??? WILL YOU DIE THE RICHEST MAN IN THE GRAVEYARD?" and then i make an unwise financial decision