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Trainwreck - Eren Jaeger (9)

Chapter seven: Third Time’s a Charm?

Pairing: Eren Jaeger x Reader

Series summary: Reader is an 18-year-old, high school student. On her way to school one day, she meets a boy on the train. Will their train, wreck or will they somehow make it work?

Info on Reader: Reader is a logical person. She’s organized and tidy. She uses logic and common sense when she makes choices. Some events in her life and some people in her life will cause her to question her sanity as she no longer can differentiate if she’s using her heart or brain.

Info on Eren Jaeger in this book: Eren doesn’t think. He uses his heart to express himself. If he feels like something is wrong, he will act on those feelings. He’s very emotional and speaks his mind. There haven’t been many times when Eren felt regret after acting on his emotions; until he met you.

Content: High school! Au, Eren x Reader, strangers to friends, friends to lovers, eventual smut.

word count: 6.2k

CW: alcohol consumption, suggestive content.

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You like to think back to that moment. Replay it in your head as if it were a record player, but one of those old record players. The ones that get jammed and replay the same tune over and over again. It was ridiculous. You felt pathetic. It was as if you had never had a romantic interaction with a boy. All he did was hand you a sweatshirt because you were cold. Many others have probably done that to you; why is it only a big deal now?

That's the thing about Eren, that's the thing that terrifies you the most about him. You feel like a kid. You feel nervous looking at him and making eye contact, hot and sweaty after your skin accidentally touches his. It's twice as intense as that first crush everyone remembers, that first love everyone carries with them. God, you can't even remember your first love's name! Eren makes you question the feeling in your chest. He makes you feel like this is the first time you've ever fallen, and it's treacherous; it haunts you. You feel unsure of when to move or step forward and when to proceed and advance. So you don't. You simply stand still.

A raindrop quickly slides down the window you lay your head against.

It has been a few weeks since Eren invited you to Historia's beach house. You finished the first semester of your senior year. The thought of how fast the year has gone by makes your head spin. You can't believe this time next year, you'll be in college, probably stressing about your grades and coming back home for Christmas.

I wonder if Eren and I will still be together.

You tightly close your eyes and squeeze that thought away. It isn't important.

You hear the girls in the car blabber and sing along to whatever song is jammed on the radio, well, glitching because the music they downloaded illegally isn't working, shocker! You don't know whose it was; you have kept your eyes focused on the cloudy weather outside for the past few hours. You feel a bit sick, but you are not sure what you can blame it on, the car or your disgustingly sweet thoughts of Eren.

You've never been the obsessive type and have never felt sick to your stomach over not having someone. Frankly, you've spent most of your teen years away from boys because all they bring is drama and pain. You don't know what's remotely different about Eren from every other boy you've met before, but it works; God, how it works in his favor. You feel miserable at times. You feel as if this is all in your head. What if this is entirely one-sided? What if he's perfectly fine and doesn't care about you and the potential relationship you've built in your head?

Ugh.

The closer you get there, the lower down your stomach falls. With every meter passing by, the tingle on your fingertips grows more feeble, unstable. It worries you, really. How bad have you gotten that even the anxious feelings within you have become unpredictable?

You were up all night, for your excitement forbade you from peace. All you were able to get were a few measly hours. A haze so painful encircled your head that the rocking from it resting against the window surprisingly soothed you; your eyelids fell heavy. Your head felt stuck as if you had just crashed after allowing yourself to indulge in a much too-sweet pastry—your brain, finally ready to admit defeat and slow down. You don't fight it off; you allow your body and mind to rest.

"Hey, c'mon! Wake up. We're here!" Historia shakes you awake.

It's brighter now than it was before. It's still cloudy, of course, but the sun has managed to shine through. You still feel the heaviness you did this morning, but it is now evenly spread throughout your body instead of residing only in your heart and mind. With a quick stretch, you're out the door.

Historia lives in a house on the top of a small hill, not that close to the sea, but close enough to walk there. Her home is average-sized, actually. The stairs are a bit tight, but the main room is large, with two queen-sized beds.

Is he here already?

Historia noticed your hesitant look. "The boys will sleep in the small bedroom downstairs, a bunch of bunk beds." She scrunched her nose and smiled.

"Oh, okay." You smile back.

"Who are you sleeping with?" Historia says, dragging her suitcase through the door. "Me? Or stinky Sasha?"

Sasha sets her bags down next to the bed closest to the window. "Hey!"

You laugh, "Can we join the beds? I'll sleep in the middle."

Historia thinks for a second. "Yeah, sure."

After moving the beds and putting your clothes away, you go downstairs. If you had to describe how you felt in one word, it's lagged, even though you haven't been on an airplane this evening. The car ride didn't mix well with you.

You go down each step, tightly holding on to the railing. Not only were the stairs on the smaller side, but they were also circular; the steps were short. When you get to the kitchen, you stop in your tracks.

Eren.

There he stood, surrounded by a black kitchen counter and island. The cabinets and drawers were tinted a dark brown. He turns and catches your eyes in his. He looks away briefly, only to meet your eyes with his yet again.

"Hey," you say, approaching him.

"Hey." He turns back around, a soft smile on his face.

"Why are you hogging the blender?"

"Ha. Ha." He shakes his head. "I'm making a banana smoothie." He faces you. "Want some?"

You smile. "Sure, what's in it?"

"Banana and almond milk."

"Okay, skinny."

Eren laughed and pushed you slightly with his elbow. "It's how my mum made it for me growing up."

"No protein powder?"

"Don't think Carla Jaeger was on the bulk grind, so no."

"I mean," you jump and sit on the counter, "maybe not with you, but definitely with Mikasa. I bet she's been strong all her life."

"Yeah, except she's adopted."

You roll your eyes with a laugh. "Okay, sue me for not making assumptions."

"She's wasian, bro, c'mon." He unpeels a banana and throws it in the blender.

"Yeah, and so was Miranda Croscove, according to the masses."

"No, you're just dumb. Pass the almond milk."

You pass him the tall container next to the sink and continue looking at him. "Bet the 'you're adopted jokes' went crazy, huh?"

"No, because I'm a decent human being, weirdo." He pours the milk into the blender and hits start.

You punch his arm. "Hey!"

He points to his ear, signaling he can't hear you from the blender's noise, and laughs.

"Asshole."

He gapes at you.

"Oh, so that you hear?" You laugh and hop off the counter. You playfully push him.

"You punch like that bitchboy Jean," he screams and runs away.

That's like the worst insult.

You chase him around the kitchen island as he covers the arm you keep hitting. It hurts, but he won't give you the satisfaction.

Then the blender stops by itself, and he turns and grabs both your arms by the wrists. "Hey, we're even, we're even." He pants, and suddenly, you realize how much you wish he was on top of you.

Eren is wearing a casual grey shirt and sweats, the same as you, but a different color scheme distances your choices. You fight off the flush that burned the back of your neck. You snatch your arms away from him and sit on the counter again.

"But, yeah, Mikasa was better than me in everything regarding physical shit, so I resorted to psychological torture."

"You're so evil, my God.”

"Hey, I had to survive. Armin was the mediator and fixed it before she told on me, so it's okay."

"Evil. Pass me a cup." You feel a slightly cooled air swimming deep in your stomach. It isn't too noticeable, not in a way that would paralyze you, but it is there, in the back of your mind, acknowledged.

"Say pretty please." He teased, which only made you smile.

"God, you are so corny."

"Say it." He had an empty cup in his hand, which he held back while looking into your eyes. Smile lines and joy reached his eyes despite his smile being faint.

"Pretty please," you say, annoyance staining your voice but not your face.

He places two cups on the counter and pours the drink into them.

You take a sip. "Okay, it's good."

"Told you. What'd you come in here for?" He takes a bigger gulp.

"Oh, right. I wanted lime."

He stops drinking and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, "Lime?"

"Yeah, I got car sick."

"You look fine to me." He had an arrogant expression on his face, as always.

You roll your eyes. "Yeah, but I still want it."

Since Eren is standing before you, you try to move him away with your hands so you can hop off the counter, but he stops you.

"I'll get it." he goes to the fruit cart next to the balcony door and grabs you a lime. He cuts it and gives you a half. "Smell it."

"The lime?"

"Yeah, it helps."

You do as he says and feel some tension lift away. He grabs you a plate and pours some salt into it. "It's better to have it like this."

You scrunch your nose, "I was going to squeeze it in a cup and shot it."

"Do this first. If you're still ill, do it your way."

"Fine." You put some salt on the lime and suck it. Eren looked at you attentively, waiting for you to scrunch your face once the sour taste kicked in, but you didn't.

"Why aren't you making a funny face?" He frowned.

"Oh," you laugh. "I used to have a lime obsession when I was little."

"What do you mean? Like you'd straight up have them like this?"

"Yes. I'd always forget to put the peel away. I left a trail wherever I went."

Eren scrunches his face. "Oh, that's nasty."

"Yeah, but it was physical proof of my love for limes."

Jean walks in. He ignores you and Eren in the kitchen and goes to the sliding doors surrounding the entire kitchen/breakfast table area. He looks at the rays that had snuck through the mound of clouds covering the sky.

"Have you guys seen the weather?" he says, approaching you.

Eren furrows his brows. "Don't talk about the weather."

"Shut up." He looks at you and says, "It's nice, isn't it?"

"Mmm, I hadn't noticed yet; Eren was forcing me to drink his mummy's banana juice."

Jean looks at Eren with disgust. "Ew, why?"

"That's not what you were saying before Jean showed up, though," Eren said, turning his back to you. He picked up the blender and put it in the sink.

You hide your smile and look at Jean. "I don't know. He's so weird, right?"

"Right."

"Okay, okay." Eren took the small plate with lime he had given you before and put it in the sink, along with the other dirty dishes. "Keep talking, and I won't let you ride on my motorbike."

Jean grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl in the island's center. "What motorbike?"

"The bike that I keep here?"

"The pink one?" Jean smiled.

Eren shoved Jean. "No, idiot, the green one."

"It's not yours, though." Jean took a bite from his apple, attempting to hide a smile.

"It is."

You silently watched them argue, your pupils jumping from each boy like a ping-pong ball every time one answered.

Jean turns to you and says, "The bike he's claiming is only his when Dirk isn't around."

"And what about it? Where's your bike?" Eren says.

"Who's Dirk?" you say.

"Historia's little brother," says Jean.

Eren answers, "Older, dumbass," as he washes the dishes he placed in the sink, never once directing his attention towards the other boy.

Jean takes another bite from his apple and says, with a full mouth, "Stop riding his meat, Jaeger." He pauses to swallow and then states with a clear voice, "It's weird."

Eren stopped scrubbing the plate he held, turned the water off, and said, "How!?"

"How to stop? I don't know, man; ask someone else."

You laugh with Jean and watch Eren angrily continue washing the accumulated dishes.

"Hey, don't get mad," you say, getting off the counter and bumping him with your elbow.

"I'm not mad; I'm just tired from looking at his horse face," he said, ending the sentence while looking at Jean and emphasizing the word 'horse.'

"Overused joke; come up with something else," said Jean. He then looked at you and said. "Plus, Historia's got like a bajillion other siblings you can borrow shit from."

"Yeah, but did you get their permission, though?" Eren said as he passed the rinsed dishes into the drying rack.

"Okay, I'm leaving. Jaeger's pissing me off. We're going to the beach in twenty, so be ready," Jean said, leaving you two alone.

As soon as he left, Eren started laughing.

"You pissed him off, stop laughing," you say, giggling yourself.

"He's so easy to piss off. It's funny."

"You're evil. I'm leaving you and your empty soul. Make sure to scrub those dishes real well!!" You run away before he can say anything back.

You go to your room and see Sasha slipping on a sundress over her bathing suit. She has a gorgeous green bikini that compliments her eyes. Her hair is in a messy pony, and she has a bag ready on her bed.

She notices your presence in the room and says, "Stop staring, freak."

"Oh, you wish." You scoff. "I'm just enjoying the peace; Jean and Eren have yet to discover the concept of an 'inside voice.'"

She laughs. "Don't even get me started on those two; they're so close and fight all the time but don't like admitting to it."

"Yeah, like brothers," you say.

"No, I'd say more like an old couple."

You laugh. "Why?"

"I don't know. They remind me of my grandparents. It's sweet if you think about it."

"I'd rather not, Sasha." You walk to your bed, grab your suitcase, and plop it on your bed. "So, what's the plan?"

"For today?"

"Sure."

"Beach day!" Sasha says, dragging out the 'ay'

"Yes, but what do we do there? Sure, the weather's miraculously 'nice' right now, but I'm sure it won't last long."

"I guess we'll just have to find out." You hear her bag's zipper close and see her head towards the door. "Don't take too long." She points at you and walks out the door.

You roll your eyes and take out your beach bag from your suitcase.

Thud, thud, thud…

You hear as you take your last few steps down the stairs. Before you reach the wooden floor of the living room. You look to your left, where you hear loud voices, and see your friends, along with Yasmin, Mikasa, and Armin, whom you had yet to see. They're at the door, being greeted by everyone.

You walk towards them to say hello and catch up for a bit. There are about nine people at the entrance of the house. Sasha and Connie are bickering; Jean is talking over them; Historia and Yasmin are trying to hear themselves by matching the volume of the room, and Mikasa is staring, waiting for it to go away. Armin waits awkwardly for silence with a shy smile. You'd think it'd be impossible for your thoughts to work during the tumultuous ambient your friends have created, yet you're proven wrong.

You can think, and you do, about Eren and how he's missing.

You sigh and quickly scan the room. Why's he always disappearing?

You left the crowd and walked forward, and you saw him. He sat alone in the living room, putting on sunscreen, which was directly in front of the entrance where you stood, yet a bit far. His back faced you.

You walk over to him.

He hears your steps and turns his head, his hair falling over his face as he looks at who those steps belong to. Once he sees it's you, he focuses on spreading the sunscreen on his legs.

"Hey," he says quietly. You can still hear your friends' slightly muffled voices.

"Hey." You drag out the 'y' feeling awkward already because you know why he's here. You sit on the sofa in front of him. "Why're you here?"

He doesn't look at you; he only shakes his head.

"Mikasa?"

"Mostly Armin," he says, eyes never leaving his legs.

"Why?"

You've talked about this over the last few weeks. As you've grown closer, Eren has had to explain his random disappearances more than a few times.

"Mikasa's my sister. Sure, I'm pissed at her, but we live together; she's easier to tolerate, especially with my mom down my neck telling me to be nice to her. But Armin's different. I only see him at school, and it's just... I don't know. It was weird seeing him unexpectedly."

"He doesn't go to your house anymore?"

"I guess Mikasa stopped inviting him over as much once the arguments stopped. I appreciated it."

You cross your legs. "And how do you feel now? I didn't know he was coming."

"Neither did I, but it's fine, just awkward." He looked at the ground for a bit after saying that.

"Guys, we're leaving!" yelled Sasha from the hallway. You and Eren looked at Sasha, but she was halfway out already. The others followed after her, including Armin.

You stand up and say, "We should go."

Eren wasn't far behind you, already standing by the time the word 'go' left your mouth. "Yeah."

"Hey."

"Hm?" he looked at you.

"Don't let him ruin your time here."

With a gentle smile, he said, "Of course not."

You walk outside with Eren by your side. Just walking feels awkward when it's in his presence. Or maybe it isn't him, maybe it's you. You don't think he gets awkward; if he does, he's doing a great job hiding it.

You said miraculous, and miraculous it was. The sun that had managed to expose itself earlier is gone as quickly as it appeared. Okay, 'sun' is an exaggeration. It was mostly light beaming through the clouds. The weather is back to what it was earlier in the morning, save for the exposure. It was about a shade lighter, which was evidence of the short-lived life that England seemed to have.

You followed in the direction of the sounds your friends made, that and Eren served as a good guide, not that you relied entirely on him, for obvious reasons, the first being that he's Eren, the second, his face. One glance at him, and you knew he wasn't there with you. He was someplace else, far, far away. It disappoints you a bit.

You sigh and look away. Beneath you lies the trail of footsteps towards the beach. You're surprised by the greenery you have to walk through. It isn't much, but you weren't expecting any, if at all. The way isn't long, and if you had to guess, you'd say Historia's house was around 7 minutes away. It is a short time but still long enough to admire the view. Though the sun is hiding, the scenery is still lovely. Light blue water crashes and bubbles against the sand, and the greyish sky that coats the great abundance above you wouldn't be as impactful if not followed by that crisp air that cuts through your lungs.

You reach your friends and see them place towels and beach chairs on the ground and plop their belongings there. When you set your towel down and are about to sit, Jean asks, "Where's Jaeger?"

You're about to roll your eyes at the thought of him randomly leaving you until you hear footsteps and look behind you. It's Eren catching up to you.

"What the fuck?" he says as he struggles to take the handle of his backpack off.

You help him, and with a thud, the black bag is against the cold, damp sand. "What do you mean?" you say.

Jean grabbed the bag and placed it on the towel where all the bags were being placed.

"You left me."

You're taken aback. "No, I didn't; you disappeared.”

He looks at you, "Disappeared where? I'm here, aren't I?"

"Yeah, but-"

"You started power walking, couldn't even keep up."

"Christ, I didn't notice." You're stunned as you look at him.

Jean laughs and places his hand on Eren's shoulder. "Damn, Jaeger, how forgettable are you?"

Eren takes Jean's hand off of him and walks towards the group. You stare at the boy left with you in bewilderment, a look he knows too well. Does he not know how to read a room? You think about going after Eren but let it go for now.

“Okay, then what?”

Jean looks at you and says, "I don't know, she didn't want to."

"I mean, no girl wants to break up with her boyfriend." You laugh.

You were sitting on the beach chairs Jean and Connie had brought. As you requested, your chairs faced the shore, but your other friends, like Mikasa and Yasmin, were sitting beside each other directly in front of Historia and Armin. They were a bit further back and, by the position of the chairs, couldn't care less about the ocean. Sasha and Connie were attempting to go in the water, Sasha's excuse being that her bathing suit was too cute to go to waste, though they'd been trying to enter for the past thirty minutes. Their only progress had been getting the water ankle-high and only enduring it for twenty seconds.

As for you, you were in between Jean and Eren, and after bugging Jean about what happened between him and Amelie, he finally started speaking.

"She called me last night." He looked at you, a beer bottle resting on his chest.

You place your sunglasses on your head. Way too interested in the gossip. "At what time?"

"Two AM"

"Is that why she isn't here?"

"If I know." He scoffed.

"I thought she was on holiday?" said Eren. He's been quiet for the most part, not sulking, just squinting at the ocean. Jean didn't have that problem as he had sunglasses on, but Eren thought it foolish to wear sunglasses when there was no sun, and so he squinted.

"No, that was a Hitch," you say.

"And Indira?" asked Jean.

You sit up and look at Jean. "Do we not have the same friends?"

He adjusts his sunglasses. "We don't text, though."

"Yeah, me neither," said Eren.

"Well," you say as you lay back down, "she's visiting family in India." You pull the blanket you had on over your chest. It's getting colder. "Emilia?"

"Holiday."

You look at Eren, confusion on your face.

"She told me."

"She didn't tell me," you say.

"Same," Jean said.

"Anyway, Marlowe?" you ask.

Jean crinkled his nose. "We barely know him."

"Well, you barely know me, too."

"It's different," said Eren.

"How so? Didn't even know I existed until a couple of months ago."

"You're hard to get rid of," said Jean, which makes Eren laugh.

You grab a handful of sand and throw it at him. "Keep talking about Amelie; don't change the subject."

He clicked his tongue in annoyance and wiped the sand off his chest. You're disappointed; you thought it'd piss him off more. "I don't know what else to tell you. We broke up, then she gave me a letter. She called and texted me last night, and now she isn't here."

"But you guys broke up like a week ago. Was she going to come anyway?" you ask.

"I barely even remember it."

"No, they broke up. Then, she said she wouldn't come because it would be awkward, and when that didn't get a reaction out of Jean, she blew up and got super angry," Eren answered while still looking at the ocean. If you couldn't hear him, you'd assume he had no interest in the conversation.

"Out of Amelie and Jean, who's closer to Historia?" you say.

"Jean."

"Me."

"So even if you were dating, she wouldn't be here if you weren't?”

"Nope." Jean placed his sunglasses on his head, holding his long hair back. He took a sip from his beer.

"Give me more insider drama; you haven't said why you broke up."

Jean passed you the beer. "Isn't she your friend?"

"Well, you ruined her. She hasn't talked to me since you two started dating." You took a sip and scrunched your nose.

"No way," Eren said, almost accusingly.

"Yes, way. I didn't notice it until now because we saw each other at school. The last time we texted was probably three months ago. I didn't even know it was serious between you two."

"Me neither, man," says Jean.

"You're the most confusing man alive. What do you mean by that?"

"They were hooking up, then Amelie wanted them to be official, Jean didn't, and they broke up," Eren said, extending his hand to you, and you passed him the drink.

"What an asshole." You sneer.

"Right," said Eren.

"Since the beginning, I told her we were only hooking up. I broke it off because I noticed she was falling. You should give me a medal for that."

"Okay, superman, talk about the letter," you say.

His brows rose. "She told me she felt it in her bones we would meet again in the future."

"That's a long way to say 'see you next semester'," Eren laughed.

You cover your face with your hands, hiding your smile, and say, "I hope she kicks you in the balls next time she sees you." You look at Jean.

"Didn't she ghost you?" asked Jean.

"Oh, shut up, she had her reasons. I'd go crazy, too, if I had to date you."

Eren laughed as he took a sip.

Jean rolled his eyes and said, "I need a cigarette."

Eren scrunched his nose. "Don’t even think about it, you know I hate cigs."

"Yeah, I know," Jean said, standing up and walking toward Mikasa, who had a box in her hands.

"Do you think he's an ass, Eren?" you say.

"No," he adjusts his sitting position and takes a big gulp. "She agreed to it."

"Yeah, logically, but even I thought they were getting serious. Imagine how she felt."

"Sucks to suck." Eren shrugged. He holds the bottle between his lips and takes three big gulps. With the last one, he empties the bear and leaves it on the ground. He then looks at you and says, “Want to see something cool?"

After taking a quick detour to Historia's house and leaving your things there, Eren got the motorbike out of the garage.

"What do you think?" he said.

"It's green."

He smiled, and next thing you know, you held his waist as the wind blew on your face. You were high on adrenaline, but not from the bike. Since it was four-wheeled, it was fairly safe, but you had never been this close to Eren. Your chest lay flat against his back, your face on his nape, where you could feel the sweetest scent. Your eyes were closed as you felt gusts of wind smacking against your skin and clothes. You didn't know where he was taking you, and you didn't care.

The birds chirped as nightfall approached. It was getting darker and colder. As you scanned your surroundings for a place, you saw a few logs in a circle and what seemed to be an unlit bonfire.

"Stop here!"

"You sure?"

"Yes, yes!"

You held onto him tightly when you felt the bike slow its pace.

"Wait!" You look back, wind blowing on your face. "Go back!!" you tap impatiently on his shoulder.

He does as you say.

You get off the bike and cross the street to the beach, walking on sand instead of the pavement now. "There! The fire thingy!" You take Eren by the arm and pull him towards the place.

"Shit!" you say after stumbling on sand. Laughing uncontrollably the longer you spent in his presence.

Eren laughs and says, "How do you manage to fall on sand?"

“I didn't fall!” you whisper shout, practically being held up by his arm as your legs give out from laughter.

"Shh." Eren places his index finger on his lips. Ironically, his laughter could nearly drown out the sounds of the waves as they angrily hit the shore. Night growing deeper than your feet have sunk in the iced sand. "You're so loud."

You laugh even harder but place your hand on your mouth.

A particular wave hit the shore so hard that its sound completely overpowered how loud you and Eren were. While shocked, you looked at the source of the sound. "Guess we won't be having a dip," you said, laughter quickly joining you again.

"Can I give you a movie recommendation?" Eren says, looking down at you.

"Yeah."

"The Titanic? Don't know if you've heard of it."

"Oh, shut up. I was being sarcastic."

"No, you weren't. Just know that I wouldn't sacrifice myself like Jack for you."

You laugh with your mouth agape. "You're so fucking mean, Oh my God."

"Here!" he runs until he's close to one of the logs. "Is this it?!"

You try to keep up with him, your feet sinking into the sand and making it hard to move as freely as you'd like. You reach him, "Yes! Isn't this cute!"

"Guess so!" He beds down and fans the sand off one of the logs. He sits down and does the same to the piece of wood beside him. "Here."

His skin looked paler amongst the light that shone from the ocean—the perfect reflection of what was in the sky. Eren was captivating. You sit beside him and say, "Do you think it'll be awkward with Amelie and Jean?" You're not interested in them, but you'd die if the moment passed in silence.

"No, not really. Not Jean's first rodeo."

"Yeah, but will she be shunned?"

"Oh, that I don't know. I hope not, she's fun."

"Yeah, and Mikasa? Have you spoken to her today?"

He looks at you and sighs. "Yeah, actually. She reminded me Armin was staying with us; I forgot about that."

You look at him, confused, and he answers before you can ask.

"Almost every holiday, Armin's parents travel abroad for research. Ever since Armin's grandad died, he has stayed with us. Not always, though; that's why I forgot."

You nod. "Right."

Eren rests his elbows on his thighs and looks down, fidgeting with his hands.

"You miss them."

"I can't talk to him."

"What did he do, Eren?"

He looked at you, frustrated. "He-" he sighed. "No, I can't. He betrayed me. They both did, but I guess Mikasa's easier to understand." The dip between his brows grew deeper the more he thought about it. The topic, visually, makes him uncomfortable.

"Have they tried talking? Have you tried listening?"

He let out a breathy laugh, which felt more like a snicker. "Yes, and no. There's no excuse because it has nothing to do with them. They butted into my business and kept saying 'it was to protect me.'"

You furrow your brows. "Protect you from what?"

"Exactly!" he exaggerated by lifting his arms. "Thank you; they won't tell me. It's part of the 'protection,' I guess."

"Serial killer on the loose, maybe?”

He laughs. "Right. Got little Armin working overtime.”

You laugh. "Okay, but seriously," you elbow him. "Surely it can't be that bad. They're being dramatic.”

"Yes, I know. I won't have to deal with it soon, though." He kicks some sand.

You look at him to continue his sentence.

"College."

"Oh." You quietly say. "Do you know which one he's attending?"

"Oxbridge, probably. No problem there, God knows I'll never attend."

"Did you apply to them?"

"Yes, Mum convinced me to, but I wouldn't want to go even if I got in."

"Why not?"

"Bunch of private school tories." He shook his head.

You laugh. "Oh, that's rich coming from you."

"Yes, but I'm cool; they're all losers."

"Right."

"And you?"

"What about me?"

"This isn't an interview, dummy," he bumps you. Where will you be going?"

You sigh. "It's stupid."

"Just say it."

"I applied to quite a few, but I really want to get into Kings."

"I applied there, too." A smile crept into his face.

You smile back. "Let's see if it happens then."

Silence overtakes the moment, the waves behind you serving as enough noise for the silence not to be punishing, or maybe the punishment part had long departed. Perhaps you and Eren had grown so close that the lack of conversation between the two did not make you nervous but comfortable. Surprisingly, the silence felt like a warm blanket, covering the two in warmth and happy feelings, with no thoughts tormenting your every move and no anxiety creeping up your spine to cloud your actions—or lack thereof—just peace. You look at Eren, your head slightly lifting for your eyes to gather all there was to him. Eren looked down at you.

Many times, you would've looked away and continued with the conversation, but this time, you simply stared at him, not shy of intense eye contact—eye contact so powerful that it'd feel sinful to look away from such beauty.

If only you knew you shared thoughts. Almost as if there was an indescribable, transcendental connection between your minds. You always carry each other in your minds, whether by thinking of one another or sharing consciousness, reasoning, morals, even personalities. The way in which you process information and how you experience and see the world—you were the same, a mirror created by the same being, only slightly incomplete. For when you were to be reunited, you'd feel the affection of a thousand lifetimes, the love and care cultivated by a hundred different versions of yourselves.

The moon and the stars only aid your passion. Your skin glistened, and specks of sand on your skin got caught in the light of the rock that floated from thousands of kilometers away. You were breathtakingly gorgeous. And Eren found himself, yet again, unable to hold back. Unable to look away from the places in your body that yelled for his attention, for his affection. He let the trail of light the moon shone on your skin guide him. From the highest points of your shoulders to the supple skin of your breasts. You quietly follow his gaze, knowing the blues of your bathing suit mixed so well with those in the pigment of your skin. Eren looked at you in a way you had only dreamed of before.

You reach out a hand on his thigh. "Hey," you say.

He looks up at your eyes, and it's torture. You looked up at him in a way he had only dared to fantasize. In a way, he never thought he'd see. Your eyes stared into his very soul, and he knew this sight too well. He had seen it only a hundred times as the nights came down and all 'goodnights' had been said. Only when he'd be alone in bed, with his hand beneath his sheets, would he allow himself to breathe you in the ways he needed.

Though they were mere thoughts, they felt every bit as real as this moment. Eren felt like a simple pinch would be the answer to all his problems, including solving the question of whether this was real, but if it was, wouldn't he look foolish after doing so?

And so he held your gaze in his and decided to extend a hand to you. Once feeling your warm skin against the palm of his hands, he knew this was real.

This was real.

An uncontrollable stride bubbled up inside him, a want, a need to have you, to feel you, to bathe in the scent of your unforgiving and cruel body—so torturous, for it hasn't been his yet. He took the hand he had placed on your chin and put it on your waist, feeling the shape of you he had dreamed of. He pulled you closer.

"Eren."

He looked down at you, into your eyes, again, whispering softly. "What, what?" He pulled you closer.

You grab his face. You appreciate his eyes, the locks of hair that were caught in between the tips of your fingers, his overall beauty.

You simply smile at him before ending all it all and joining your lips with his.

-

CHOSOSHEART 2022 © All Rights Reserved. Do not copy, modify, or repost.

Hello, everyone!! Last time I updated this story was two years ago, and I wanted to apologize for my inconsistency, hopefully this chapter will make up for it!! Chapter ten is almost finished, it'll definitely be out this month!!

Thank you so much for reading, I’m ready to come back for good and finish trainwreck!!

ps: Also, I'm so sorry if it isn't as good as my past chapters, or if it's fast paced, I'm veryyy rusty and I struggled so much with remembering how to describe things and expressions. Hopefully it wasn't too bad.

See you guys next time!! :))

#eren aot #eren jaeger #eren x reader #aot fanfiction #aot x reader #attack on titan eren #eren yeager x you #eren yeager x reader #shingeki no kyoujin #high school au #eren fluff #eren jaeger fluff #eren jaeger x you #eren x yn #eren x you #eren x reader fluff #fantasy au #fiction #eren fanfiction #fanfic #fan fiction #eren jaeger x reader #eren yeager fluff #eren :(( #aot fluff #sasha braus #historia reiss #mikasa attack on titan #mikasa ackerman #jean kirschtien

[chososheart]

i found an old draft from 2021 and i mighttttt edit and post it. maybeeee

[chososheart]

i may or may not release something soon

[chososheart]

I love how different forms of art are all obsessed with each other. A book tries to capture the feeling of music, a painting tries to depict a scene in a book, a song tries to paint a picture. And it's always insufficient. No single form of art can encapsulate another form of art and capture the essence of it – but it tries, and its attempts are impossibly compelling. All the forms of art are in love with each other and spend so much time trying to express what makes the other kinds of art so lovely.

[chososheart]

hey ale, you okay? happy holidays!!💓💓

hiii happy late holidays😔😔 i’m great thank you sm for anskingg

[chososheart]

you were and still are my favourite aot writer ♡ happy new year :)

omg hiiii i’m so sorry i didn’t see this 😭😭 thank you so muchhh. happy new yearrr LAMOn<33

[chososheart]

OMG ALEEEE!! HI BABYYYY!! ive missed you smmmmm (lol I also just came back to thissss jejeje)

OMG HIIII THIS IS SO OLD HII I MISS YOUU

[chososheart]

How you been

hiii i’ve been okayy

[chososheart]

my last drabble was literally a wet dream he had ab us 😭😭😭 i’m so lucky

my bf is truly the hottest man alive wow

[chososheart]

my bf is truly the hottest man alive wow

[chososheart]

400 woooohoooo

you don’t know how it happened, or how you ended up here but your hands are on him, everywhere on him; his hair, his face, his chest. your index finger looped under his belt, pulling him in…

“eren,” you moan.

“yeah?”

you feel him grind against you, his boner pressing hard against your hip.

“here?” you ask quietly. you’re afraid the random rush of adrenaline that made him pin you up against the wall will vanish if you remind him about how risky this is.

his hands find your ass and pull you closer, so much closer, it answers for him. yes, here.

you’re wet. your shirt stuck on you, your bra inching and poking your skin in the wrong ways. his hair sending droplets of rain down your face. one second ago, you were running away from the rain with him, and now, you’re in a warmly lit room being shoved so hard against the wall, you’re afraid it’s a part of you now. and as good as it feel, as magically and exciting as it is to be held by eren like this, you know it must come to an end.

you pull away from his touch, and put your hand on his chest to push him away a bit. “baby, not here. remember they’re coming?”

he breathed heavy, too heavy. you can feel his heartbeat as if it’s your own from how close his body’s stuck to yours.

“i forgot,” he says with brows furrowed. you can still feel him.

you don’t know who ‘they’ are, or why they’re coming in this room but you know you can’t stay here longer.

eren pulls away from you, and with the same dissatisfied look on his face, he pulls you by the hand and into the restroom on the other side of the door you just passed by. he opens a stall door and locks it after he’s in.

you’re standing in front of the stall door when you say, “eren, are you sure?” you can’t help but find it incredibly attractive just how dominant he’s being, especially since he’s usually the exact opposite.

“yea.”

he turns you around and pushes his dick against your ass. you’re both still fully clothed, but it feels so good. he rubs his erection against you while he squeezes your hips. you moan and close your eyes, hoping he gets rid of the pulses that have achingly taken over your cunt.

eren’s moaning uncontrollably when he pushes your skirt up and pulls your panties aside. his tip lingers at your entrance.

“put it in, baby. i want you to.” with that he pushes in slow and deep. you always feel him so much bigger from this position.

“baby,” he groans. he picks up his pace in no time, fucking you hard against the cool stall.

you’re biting your lip as you feel him rub against your walls continuously, he takes his right hand against your clit. his mouth is open and breathing heavy against your ear when he says. “baby, how do you feel?”

“good.” you cry.

“good? yeah?” he shoved his hips closer to you.

“yea, baby. so good.” your eyes are squeezed shut.

“oh, my god. it feels so good.” he pants. eren gets so whiny when he’s close.

you open your legs further. “baby, are you close?”

“yea.” his eyes are shut and your ears are met with a string of curses not long after.

you arch your back and say, “you’re doing so good, baby. doing so good. you’re always so good.”

“baby, you feel so good.” his voice turns you on so much, it’s insane.

“yeah, baby? how does it feel?”

“wet, baby. so wet.” he’s fucking you so good, you know you’re close.

“baby, i’m close. oh, my god, baby, i’m so close.” you whisper, your face pressed against the stall.

“cum for me, baby. i want you to cum.” he cries out. “i want you to cum, baby. i want you to feel good.” he’s fucking you harder now, taking no mercy on you. his hand drawing steady circles on your puffy clit.

“baby, i’m gonna cum.”

eren kisses your neck and fastens his speed until he feels that pulsing sensation he knows too well around his dick. your pussy tightens around him, which is always his breaking point.

“baby, baby. i’m gonna cum.” his voice is raspy and low against your ear. “tell me you want me to cum, baby. please tell me to cum.”

“baby, cum, baby. please cum. i want you to cum in me baby.”

“yeah?” he whispers.

“yeah, baby. i want you to cum so bad. please cum for me baby.”

he cums in your cunt. thick and heavy. you feel it shooting in you and can’t help but to moan.

you both stay still in your positions, breathing slow and heavy. letting your euphoric highs come to an end. eren pulls out of you and before you move, he takes your ass cheeks in his hands and licks your pussy. you twitch, it’s sensitive. but he continues to suck and lick the cum out of you.

when he’s done, he takes you by the back of your head, turns you around, and spits it in your mouth. it tastes sweet. it’s insane, you always expected men to taste like liquified shit but eren, once again, is above the standard. you’d go as far as craving his cum in your mouth and finding it tasty.

you look at him in the eyes and swallow. he smiles shorty after and fills your face with kisses.

—

i haven’t posted in over a year, sorry if i’m rusty 🥲

[chososheart]

happy 300 wooooooohoooooooo

you don’t know how it happened, or how you ended up here but your hands are on him, everywhere on him; his hair, his face, his chest. your index finger looped under his belt, pulling him in…

“eren,” you moan.

“yeah?”

you feel him grind against you, his boner pressing hard against your hip.

“here?” you ask quietly. you’re afraid the random rush of adrenaline that made him pin you up against the wall will vanish if you remind him about how risky this is.

his hands find your ass and pull you closer, so much closer, it answers for him. yes, here.

you’re wet. your shirt stuck on you, your bra inching and poking your skin in the wrong ways. his hair sending droplets of rain down your face. one second ago, you were running away from the rain with him, and now, you’re in a warmly lit room being shoved so hard against the wall, you’re afraid it’s a part of you now. and as good as it feel, as magically and exciting as it is to be held by eren like this, you know it must come to an end.

you pull away from his touch, and put your hand on his chest to push him away a bit. “baby, not here. remember they’re coming?”

he breathed heavy, too heavy. you can feel his heartbeat as if it’s your own from how close his body’s stuck to yours.

“i forgot,” he says with brows furrowed. you can still feel him.

you don’t know who ‘they’ are, or why they’re coming in this room but you know you can’t stay here longer.

eren pulls away from you, and with the same dissatisfied look on his face, he pulls you by the hand and into the restroom on the other side of the door you just passed by. he opens a stall door and locks it after he’s in.

you’re standing in front of the stall door when you say, “eren, are you sure?” you can’t help but find it incredibly attractive just how dominant he’s being, especially since he’s usually the exact opposite.

“yea.”

he turns you around and pushes his dick against your ass. you’re both still fully clothed, but it feels so good. he rubs his erection against you while he squeezes your hips. you moan and close your eyes, hoping he gets rid of the pulses that have achingly taken over your cunt.

eren’s moaning uncontrollably when he pushes your skirt up and pulls your panties aside. his tip lingers at your entrance.

“put it in, baby. i want you to.” with that he pushes in slow and deep. you always feel him so much bigger from this position.

“baby,” he groans. he picks up his pace in no time, fucking you hard against the cool stall.

you’re biting your lip as you feel him rub against your walls continuously, he takes his right hand against your clit. his mouth is open and breathing heavy against your ear when he says. “baby, how do you feel?”

“good.” you cry.

“good? yeah?” he shoved his hips closer to you.

“yea, baby. so good.” your eyes are squeezed shut.

“oh, my god. it feels so good.” he pants. eren gets so whiny when he’s close.

you open your legs further. “baby, are you close?”

“yea.” his eyes are shut and your ears are met with a string of curses not long after.

you arch your back and say, “you’re doing so good, baby. doing so good. you’re always so good.”

“baby, you feel so good.” his voice turns you on so much, it’s insane.

“yeah, baby? how does it feel?”

“wet, baby. so wet.” he’s fucking you so good, you know you’re close.

“baby, i’m close. oh, my god, baby, i’m so close.” you whisper, your face pressed against the stall.

“cum for me, baby. i want you to cum.” he cries out. “i want you to cum, baby. i want you to feel good.” he’s fucking you harder now, taking no mercy on you. his hand drawing steady circles on your puffy clit.

“baby, i’m gonna cum.”

eren kisses your neck and fastens his speed until he feels that pulsing sensation he knows too well around his dick. your pussy tightens around him, which is always his breaking point.

“baby, baby. i’m gonna cum.” his voice is raspy and low against your ear. “tell me you want me to cum, baby. please tell me to cum.”

“baby, cum, baby. please cum. i want you to cum in me baby.”

“yeah?” he whispers.

“yeah, baby. i want you to cum so bad. please cum for me baby.”

he cums in your cunt. thick and heavy. you feel it shooting in you and can’t help but to moan.

you both stay still in your positions, breathing slow and heavy. letting your euphoric highs come to an end. eren pulls out of you and before you move, he takes your ass cheeks in his hands and licks your pussy. you twitch, it’s sensitive. but he continues to suck and lick the cum out of you.

when he’s done, he takes you by the back of your head, turns you around, and spits it in your mouth. it tastes sweet. it’s insane, you always expected men to taste like liquified shit but eren, once again, is above the standard. you’d go as far as craving his cum in your mouth and finding it tasty.

you look at him in the eyes and swallow. he smiles shorty after and fills your face with kisses.

—

i haven’t posted in over a year, sorry if i’m rusty 🥲

[chososheart]

it’s rlly rlly funny cus this is a wet dream my bf had of me like 2 days ago😭😭 he told me ab it, made me deal w it🙄🙄 and then i randomly was like hmmmm i need to write this and yea LMAOOO

you don’t know how it happened, or how you ended up here but your hands are on him, everywhere on him; his hair, his face, his chest. your index finger looped under his belt, pulling him in…

“eren,” you moan.

“yeah?”

you feel him grind against you, his boner pressing hard against your hip.

“here?” you ask quietly. you’re afraid the random rush of adrenaline that made him pin you up against the wall will vanish if you remind him about how risky this is.

his hands find your ass and pull you closer, so much closer, it answers for him. yes, here.

you’re wet. your shirt stuck on you, your bra inching and poking your skin in the wrong ways. his hair sending droplets of rain down your face. one second ago, you were running away from the rain with him, and now, you’re in a warmly lit room being shoved so hard against the wall, you’re afraid it’s a part of you now. and as good as it feel, as magically and exciting as it is to be held by eren like this, you know it must come to an end.

you pull away from his touch, and put your hand on his chest to push him away a bit. “baby, not here. remember they’re coming?”

he breathed heavy, too heavy. you can feel his heartbeat as if it’s your own from how close his body’s stuck to yours.

“i forgot,” he says with brows furrowed. you can still feel him.

you don’t know who ‘they’ are, or why they’re coming in this room but you know you can’t stay here longer.

eren pulls away from you, and with the same dissatisfied look on his face, he pulls you by the hand and into the restroom on the other side of the door you just passed by. he opens a stall door and locks it after he’s in.

you’re standing in front of the stall door when you say, “eren, are you sure?” you can’t help but find it incredibly attractive just how dominant he’s being, especially since he’s usually the exact opposite.

“yea.”

he turns you around and pushes his dick against your ass. you’re both still fully clothed, but it feels so good. he rubs his erection against you while he squeezes your hips. you moan and close your eyes, hoping he gets rid of the pulses that have achingly taken over your cunt.

eren’s moaning uncontrollably when he pushes your skirt up and pulls your panties aside. his tip lingers at your entrance.

“put it in, baby. i want you to.” with that he pushes in slow and deep. you always feel him so much bigger from this position.

“baby,” he groans. he picks up his pace in no time, fucking you hard against the cool stall.

you’re biting your lip as you feel him rub against your walls continuously, he takes his right hand against your clit. his mouth is open and breathing heavy against your ear when he says. “baby, how do you feel?”

“good.” you cry.

“good? yeah?” he shoved his hips closer to you.

“yea, baby. so good.” your eyes are squeezed shut.

“oh, my god. it feels so good.” he pants. eren gets so whiny when he’s close.

you open your legs further. “baby, are you close?”

“yea.” his eyes are shut and your ears are met with a string of curses not long after.

you arch your back and say, “you’re doing so good, baby. doing so good. you’re always so good.”

“baby, you feel so good.” his voice turns you on so much, it’s insane.

“yeah, baby? how does it feel?”

“wet, baby. so wet.” he’s fucking you so good, you know you’re close.

“baby, i’m close. oh, my god, baby, i’m so close.” you whisper, your face pressed against the stall.

“cum for me, baby. i want you to cum.” he cries out. “i want you to cum, baby. i want you to feel good.” he’s fucking you harder now, taking no mercy on you. his hand drawing steady circles on your puffy clit.

“baby, i’m gonna cum.”

eren kisses your neck and fastens his speed until he feels that pulsing sensation he knows too well around his dick. your pussy tightens around him, which is always his breaking point.

“baby, baby. i’m gonna cum.” his voice is raspy and low against your ear. “tell me you want me to cum, baby. please tell me to cum.”

“baby, cum, baby. please cum. i want you to cum in me baby.”

“yeah?” he whispers.

“yeah, baby. i want you to cum so bad. please cum for me baby.”

he cums in your cunt. thick and heavy. you feel it shooting in you and can’t help but to moan.

you both stay still in your positions, breathing slow and heavy. letting your euphoric highs come to an end. eren pulls out of you and before you move, he takes your ass cheeks in his hands and licks your pussy. you twitch, it’s sensitive. but he continues to suck and lick the cum out of you.

when he’s done, he takes you by the back of your head, turns you around, and spits it in your mouth. it tastes sweet. it’s insane, you always expected men to taste like liquified shit but eren, once again, is above the standard. you’d go as far as craving his cum in your mouth and finding it tasty.

you look at him in the eyes and swallow. he smiles shorty after and fills your face with kisses.

—

i haven’t posted in over a year, sorry if i’m rusty 🥲

[chososheart]

omg happy 200 😄😄 y’all still aliveeee???

you don’t know how it happened, or how you ended up here but your hands are on him, everywhere on him; his hair, his face, his chest. your index finger looped under his belt, pulling him in…

“eren,” you moan.

“yeah?”

you feel him grind against you, his boner pressing hard against your hip.

“here?” you ask quietly. you’re afraid the random rush of adrenaline that made him pin you up against the wall will vanish if you remind him about how risky this is.

his hands find your ass and pull you closer, so much closer, it answers for him. yes, here.

you’re wet. your shirt stuck on you, your bra inching and poking your skin in the wrong ways. his hair sending droplets of rain down your face. one second ago, you were running away from the rain with him, and now, you’re in a warmly lit room being shoved so hard against the wall, you’re afraid it’s a part of you now. and as good as it feel, as magically and exciting as it is to be held by eren like this, you know it must come to an end.

you pull away from his touch, and put your hand on his chest to push him away a bit. “baby, not here. remember they’re coming?”

he breathed heavy, too heavy. you can feel his heartbeat as if it’s your own from how close his body’s stuck to yours.

“i forgot,” he says with brows furrowed. you can still feel him.

you don’t know who ‘they’ are, or why they’re coming in this room but you know you can’t stay here longer.

eren pulls away from you, and with the same dissatisfied look on his face, he pulls you by the hand and into the restroom on the other side of the door you just passed by. he opens a stall door and locks it after he’s in.

you’re standing in front of the stall door when you say, “eren, are you sure?” you can’t help but find it incredibly attractive just how dominant he’s being, especially since he’s usually the exact opposite.

“yea.”

he turns you around and pushes his dick against your ass. you’re both still fully clothed, but it feels so good. he rubs his erection against you while he squeezes your hips. you moan and close your eyes, hoping he gets rid of the pulses that have achingly taken over your cunt.

eren’s moaning uncontrollably when he pushes your skirt up and pulls your panties aside. his tip lingers at your entrance.

“put it in, baby. i want you to.” with that he pushes in slow and deep. you always feel him so much bigger from this position.

“baby,” he groans. he picks up his pace in no time, fucking you hard against the cool stall.

you’re biting your lip as you feel him rub against your walls continuously, he takes his right hand against your clit. his mouth is open and breathing heavy against your ear when he says. “baby, how do you feel?”

“good.” you cry.

“good? yeah?” he shoved his hips closer to you.

“yea, baby. so good.” your eyes are squeezed shut.

“oh, my god. it feels so good.” he pants. eren gets so whiny when he’s close.

you open your legs further. “baby, are you close?”

“yea.” his eyes are shut and your ears are met with a string of curses not long after.

you arch your back and say, “you’re doing so good, baby. doing so good. you’re always so good.”

“baby, you feel so good.” his voice turns you on so much, it’s insane.

“yeah, baby? how does it feel?”

“wet, baby. so wet.” he’s fucking you so good, you know you’re close.

“baby, i’m close. oh, my god, baby, i’m so close.” you whisper, your face pressed against the stall.

“cum for me, baby. i want you to cum.” he cries out. “i want you to cum, baby. i want you to feel good.” he’s fucking you harder now, taking no mercy on you. his hand drawing steady circles on your puffy clit.

“baby, i’m gonna cum.”

eren kisses your neck and fastens his speed until he feels that pulsing sensation he knows too well around his dick. your pussy tightens around him, which is always his breaking point.

“baby, baby. i’m gonna cum.” his voice is raspy and low against your ear. “tell me you want me to cum, baby. please tell me to cum.”

“baby, cum, baby. please cum. i want you to cum in me baby.”

“yeah?” he whispers.

“yeah, baby. i want you to cum so bad. please cum for me baby.”

he cums in your cunt. thick and heavy. you feel it shooting in you and can’t help but to moan.

you both stay still in your positions, breathing slow and heavy. letting your euphoric highs come to an end. eren pulls out of you and before you move, he takes your ass cheeks in his hands and licks your pussy. you twitch, it’s sensitive. but he continues to suck and lick the cum out of you.

when he’s done, he takes you by the back of your head, turns you around, and spits it in your mouth. it tastes sweet. it’s insane, you always expected men to taste like liquified shit but eren, once again, is above the standard. you’d go as far as craving his cum in your mouth and finding it tasty.

you look at him in the eyes and swallow. he smiles shorty after and fills your face with kisses.

—

i haven’t posted in over a year, sorry if i’m rusty 🥲

[chososheart]

happy 800 <3

The Enchanting Melody to His Screams - Eren x Reader (1)

Pairing: Eren Yeager x F! Reader

Content: established relationship, mutual pinning, modern au.

Series summary: When Eren comes home late from work, with a little more than just work-life clouding his mind, Reader takes his stress away in every way imaginable. She bonds and is allowed just a tiny piece of the chaos that he's kept to himself for so long. What Reader doesn't know is that there's a lot more from where that came. Will Reader want to know its full extent, or will it be better for her to walk away?

CW: NSFW, smut, vaginal fingering, oral sex (m) and (f), gagging, dacryfilia, penetration (f), spanking (slightly mentioned once or twice) degradation kink, slight humiliation kink, creampie, praise kink, unprotected sex.

word count: 10.2k (sorry lol)

It was around 10:30 pm and Eren still wasn’t home. You walked back and forth from your apartment’s front door and the counter in your kitchen. You anxiously bit on your nails while your mind took you places you didn’t want to be. You hate it that you do this, but when he’s this late, you can’t help but think that something must have happened. That on his way back from work, while he drove, an accident may have—no. Stop.

You take a deep breath and hold your body with your kitchen counter. Your head falls forward as your chest and back move up and down. You push yourself away from your counter in one quick move and run your hands through your face, hair, and breath out. You pull your phone from your back pocket again. You check the time and try giving him another call.

Ring, ring, ring, ring—nothing. Eren gets off work at around 7:00 PM. He’s three hours late. How could you not be worried?

And while your mind tries to think of logical reasons that don’t include your lover’s death to explain his tardiness, the front door opens. You didn’t even hear the keys shuffling. You noticed he was home when the door shut behind you. It was loud, too loud for the quietness of your apartment. It was a tight and loud slam, one that made you jump and spin around with your heart in hand. You stood there for a few seconds, analyzing him. Looking at the man before you up and down. You sucked up a breath and let a faint smile adorn your face before running to him and wrapping your arms around his neck.

His button-down shirt was creased and felt rough against your skin. He smelled like his office. It's a cool and empty scent, hard to describe, but the best comparison you can make is to those plastic cups by the water cooler in hospitals or clinics.

You hold his cheeks with both hands and pull him down to meet you halfway. He gives you a quick peck before taking his jacket and shoes off. And the way he did it wasn’t rude; he just wasn’t as affectionate as he always is. When he comes home from work, he’s eager to see you, to feel you. He opens his arms and waits for you to find your place in them. He holds you there for a moment while waddling from one foot to another, kissing your head multiple times until he finally lets you go. Today was obviously different. He ignored you as he moved toward the couch. He plopped down and you watched as the leathered seats molded themselves around Eren’s body.

You blink a few times, confused on why today was different. Is it me? Is he irritated by me? Is it someone from work? Maybe he’s just tired—no. He’s always tired and never treats me like this. Is this normal or am I just too spoiled?

Your lower lip had, unconsciously, found its way under your top teeth, cushioning it until it drew blood while you exaggerated what could be described as an average couple’s night. But that’s the thing, you aren’t an average couple. You and Eren never left the honeymoon stage, and you’d noticed signs of it ending if that was the case. What is up with him?

You look at the wooden ground for a minute. It puts a smile on your face. You still remember the day you picked it out. Eren wanted marbled floors, you wanted wooden. He let you have wood. Because you’re not like most couples.

You take a deep breath and look up, look at him. And that’s when it hits you. His face is weird. You analyze it a bit further and notice he had a crease between his brows, which only shows up when he’s deeply irritated. His lips were chapped and smaller than usual, a bit faint in color too, dehydration. His eye bags were puffy and dark. He looks like he’s dead, let’s be honest. While we’re being honest, the dead look makes you want to shove his cock down your throat—wait, that’s a good idea!

“Eren?” You say as you approach him, head tilting sideways, arms slightly crossed behind your back, just how he likes.

He’s sat with his legs spread, widely spread, just how you like. His elbows are supported on top of his knees and his back is slouched, just how you don’t like.

You shake those thoughts away and approach him slowly. “So, how was work?” You reach the armrest and lightly sit on it. You rub your hands on his shoulder blades and he buries his face in his hands. They’re so big, not a centimeter of his face is left uncovered.

“It’s nothing,” he said, voice hostile.

You hate it when he does this. When he shuts you out without even giving you a chance to come in, a chance to see if you can help him. He instantly assumes you aren’t capable of doing so.

You breathe in, and out. You held your eyes lightly shut for a minute or two. He could feel your disappointment, hear it in the quietness in the air. He doesn’t do it on purpose, he thinks. It’s automatic at this point.

Eren grew up being babied. He grew up being thought of as weak, insolent, impulsive, and irresponsible. He worked hard to gain strength, power, to protect the people he loved instead of having them protect him, but it wasn’t enough. He still got looked after. He never got an ounce of trust in his life. Never was trusted with his abilities, so, how is he supposed to trust and believe in himself?

He doesn’t like involving others in his problems. He feels that raged little boy in him, humiliated whenever you ask him, “what’s wrong?” And he feels even worse when there is something wrong. How can you read him so well, notice the storm following him that he just can’t see? Sometimes it annoys him. Sometimes it saddens him. Right now? He feels useless. In his job, his domestic life, relationships, all of it. But he’ll spare you.

“I told you, I’m fine,” he grunted, hands leaving his face, back unbending, and laying against the cushions on the couch. He looked at the roof now. His legs were parted but they bounced anxiously. He turned his head and looked at you. You were already looking at him, why is he so sexy?

You roll your eyes, look at him for a few more seconds and release a sigh. “Want me to drop it?” Your voice was dull, but the care was still there. He could hear it. And it warms his heart that you know when to stop, you know not to push him.

“Yes, please.” He stared at you longer than he should have. It’s times like these when he deeply appreciates you. He knows you worry for him, but you still give him independence, you still trust him to come to you or deal with it on his own, something he never got to do growing up. He loves you so much he feels as if his heart were to burst.

“Okay, can you tell me if you’re tired?”

“I-” He opens and closes his mouth involuntarily, almost like he had an automatic response but stopped himself halfway. “Yeah.” He breathes out.

“Are you stressed?” You lie against the cushion with your elbow for support as you reach a hand to pass through his hair.

“Yeah.” He closed his eyes and felt the gentle tugs of your fingers parting through his deviled hair, your nails scratching his scalp so good he’s surprised he didn’t moan, you are, too.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm, yeah.” He groaned, deep and heavy. His eyes fluttered open and caught you moving from next to him to stand in front of him. He knew what was coming. He breathed in, slow and thick. You kneeled in front of him, holding on to each of his thighs and using them to support you while you got down on your knees.

“Fuck,” he whispered.

“Want me to take some of that stress away?” You tilt your head and flash him a glimpse of your breasts as you lean to unbuckle his pants.

Eren felt stuck, stuck in the spell you seem to have him wrapped in. He can do nothing more than nod. He feels pathetic when he gets like this. You’ve been together for a few years now, so, why are the breaths that are coming in and out of his mouth getting stuck in his throat? Why can he feel his heart in his fingertips? And why can he feel the emptiness that consumes his soul when he leaves you, flying around his stomach, making a mess of his body, nerves, and reactions? Prickling his hair and making his cheeks flush and nape itch. Just what have you done to him? Just what would he do without you?

You unbuckle his belt. The clinks it makes bring a smile to your face. But it doesn’t make you smile as big as you do when you get to unbutton his pants, pull them down and squeeze his cock that’s strained by his briefs.

He hisses. “Careful.”

An empty threat if you will. You giggle, like a drunken straight girl, giggles right before she kisses her best friend at a frat party.

And that sweet laughter coming from your mouth does nothing more than worsen the ache coming from his cock.

“Careful with what?” You hold his eyes with yours and squeeze the head of his cock again, this time, rubbing it. “With this?”

“Fuck.” He breathed as he closed his eyes and widened the space between his thighs.

“Eren.” The sound of your voice, of you, calling out his name made his eyes flutter open. “Tell me what you want.”

He looks at the TV behind you and tries to control his breathing, pathetic, pathetic, pathetic.

“I want you to start with—” He looks at the paintings on the walls opposite to where you were, trying to calm the flush he felt forming on his cheeks. You’ve never asked him; you’ve always just assumed. Why are you asking now?

“I- can you start with… kisses.”

Kisses?

“Want me to kiss your cock? Yeah?” you say, as you lower his briefs.

Again, he feels his breath get stuck in his throat. Like, genuinely stuck. He feels like he’ll choke and be in need of medical assistance at any moment now.

“Yeah.” His palms were sweaty. Why are his palms sweaty? There’s something in Eren that worries him when he’s not in control, maybe this is no exception? Maybe the loss of dominance in a sexual aspect is foreign to him, hence the nervous reaction. Whatever the cause may be, it needs to stop. Eren feels like his voice will crack as a pubescent boy does; but he knows if it happens, he won’t hear the end of it from you,

or would he?

You have his dick in your hands. It’s big and girthy, like always. But instead of shoving him down your throat, you look at him and kiss the tip of his head.

Eren’s eyes widened when he felt the softness of your lips on him.

You trail a few kisses down his shaft and when you reach his tip again, you wrap your lips around his head and gently suck and let go.

He closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the couch.

You ended each delicate suck with a kiss, with a smack of your lips. And each time he heard it; his hand twitched toward your head. You practically made out with him. You licked him and showed him love you have never done before.

You let your drool hit him, you spread it around while you slowly jerked him off. Eren has always been vocal, but it doesn’t compare with how he reacted now. Groaning, and breathing like some sort of physical limitation prevented him from getting a full lungs worth of air. You’d be lying if you said it didn’t turn you on so much it hurt.

“Please—suck it.” He breathed.

Everything you’ve done until now could be considered teasing and he doesn’t want it anymore, so you expand your mouth and completely wrap his head with your lips.

His hand found its way in your hair and tugged you slightly lower. You gladly take more of him and start to prepare your breathing to take him in your throat. It doesn’t happen, though. Eren would normally shove your head as far as it would go, but today wasn’t like that. You release his cock and lick his tip. You have one hand massaging his balls and the other swirling on his head, not too much, though. He’s sensitive. While your hands work their magic, you seek proximity with him. Something about him being so vulnerable with you has you looking for the same comfort. He notices and complies.

He lowered his body when he saw you raise yours. He took your face in his hands and stroked your cheeks, his thumb, drawing small circles on your skin. His eyes were shut and mouth ajar, a few moans spilling from when you circled on his slit.

He opened his eyes and pulled you hard against him. His lips found yours at once. It was so intimate, so enthusiastic, you forgot to breathe, to continue pleasing him. You raise your hands and grab his face, bringing him closer, needing him closer. Your teeth crashed together and your tongue sloppily looked for his. You held his face so firmly, so tightly, that when you let go, your handprints were left on his face. The proof of your fingers harshly holding what’s rightfully yours, flushed deep red and made the rest of his face look pale and drained. You drained the color from his face. Your touch consumed it all. Your touch consumes all of him.

When you broke away from the kiss, you fell back down on your knees and took him all the way in, gagging, and looking up at him with those sweet eyes of yours.

You gently start to bob your head up and down, gagging and closing your eyes every time his tip meets your throat. Your nose burns, your neck feels hot, and your eyes start to water, but it’s worth it. For the view you get, it’s fucking worth it. Eren’s hands were back on your hair, slightly pulling you down, not enough to hurt you but because he couldn’t stop himself. The same goes for his hips. He’d buck them up and take your breath away, literally. But because he really, honestly, truly couldn’t stop.

He opened his eyes and looked down at you. Your eyebrows were slightly furrowed, and your eyes never left his cock. You were back to jerking him off, but with a mixture of licking, and sucking, too. His pleasure had all your attention, that much was evident. But even as he was on edge, even when it wouldn’t take him long to reach that peak he wanted, he kept your needs in mind.

It must be killing her, he thinks.

And he didn’t have to give it much thought. The press of your thighs as you released a moan that could embody what it meant to be desperate and lustful, was enough evidence.

It is killing her.

“Baby,” Eren called. No reply from you, though.

“Hey,” He grabbed your face and wiped away the tears that glowed with the harsh lights of your living room, “baby, get on the couch, yeah?”

He grabbed your forearm and kept his hand on your cheek, it was warm. He tugged on your arm to encourage you to get up.

You didn’t.

“Don’t worry about me, Ren.” You went to grab him again, but he stopped you.

“Don’t make me repeat myself.” Eren’s eyes stared wholes into yours.

You don’t know if it’s his change in demeanor or the fact that you had his dick in your mouth a few seconds ago, but you feel the need to obey. It could be the tie that hung loosely from his neck, his button-down white shirt that’s slightly unbuttoned, or his sleeves that have been rolled back that forces this reaction out of you. It’s definitely the tie.

And you do. You sit next to him on the couch, and though you’re almost at eye level with him, you feel small. Especially when he said, “strip.”

You take your shorts off and throw them on the ground. Your oversized shirt quickly followed, creating a small but messy puddle on the floor. You slipped your panties and bra off next. You were now bare. You’re sitting with your legs tucked under your thighs and you’re facing him. His eyes scanned over Your body like a sailor’s eyes do when he’s seen the beautiful but mythical creature all have warned him about. He looked at You like he was stuck on a tiny boat with a fisher’s tackle in hand as he leaned toward the said mythical creature. And as he leaned on the edge, eager to see just how much his eyes can capture, he gets pulled in. Forced in freezing-cold water in the deep of night only to be never found again. That’s how he felt. Your beauty, Your mere existence, pulled him in and trapped his soul with Yours. You were the siren many would purposely sail to find, to die for. He reached a slow hand Your way and cupped Your breast. And unlike his gruesome comparison, Your beauty didn’t fade away in a matter of seconds as Your true form is revealed and he’s eaten alive. You were still there; intact, looking at him with eyes that glowed brighter than any and every star those miserable sailors could have seen in those trips to find You.

You were, quite literally, the definition of breathtakingly beautiful. Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic.

He sucked in a breath and squeezed, double-checking. You look down at him and notice his dick twitch, which reminds you of what you were doing before. You lean toward him, his thighs, and take his dick in your mouth again.

“Ah—fuck.” He threw his head back, squeezed his eyes shut, and reached a hand to rub the side of your thigh. He ran his fingers through the curve of your ass until he found his way on your cunt. His pointer finger lightly traced the outside of your pussy, until he pushed his finger in your vulva. Rubbing in a straight line, passing through your clit, and circling through your entrance, teasing you. It’s when you arch your back and moan against his dick that he forces a finger in.

Eren cursed under his breath and pulled his pointer finger out, replacing it with his middle one. He couldn’t see you from the position you were in, but the warm, slick walls clamping onto his finger were enough for him to twitch in your mouth. You’re too much. He can’t find it in him to make you stop, though he knows his arrival is soon. He slips another finger in you. Listening to all the pretty sounds you make, muffled by his dick in your mouth. He pumps his fingers in and out of you, curling them down and touching your g spot, making your eyes roll so far back, you thought you were somewhere else for a bit. Somewhere brighter than what the lighting in your house provides you. What was that?

“Fuck—you feel so good.” You were dragged back down to earth when Eren bucked his hips into your mouth. The gagging sound you made, plus, your throat coming to your defense and closing around him, made him release, maybe the whiniest moan you’ve ever heard from him. And when you let go of his cock, coughing and wiping drool off your face, he took the opportunity to lay down on the couch. He lifted one of your legs and slipped in between them, face staring at your pussy. You understood what he tried to do and lay your upper body on top of his.

Before you could start sucking him again, Eren took your hips in his hands and forced you down on his tongue. He licked at your entrance, tasting you, while your clit remained on his chin. It was firm and already felt so good.

You braise yourself by putting your hands on each side of his waist and arching your back. Your weight naturally feels heavier against his face, almost suffocating him, but that’s exactly what he wants. You start slowly rubbing your clit on his chin while he patiently stuck out his tongue.

A moan slips from your lips when he tightens his grip on your thighs. You lean forward and grab his dick. You give him a few pumps and put him in your mouth again. When you reposition yourself and slide your pussy further down his face, his tongue touches your clit. You stay like that.

You could feel his moans vibrating against your clit. He felt so, so good. You rub your pussy up and down his face, just like you did before. He lets you have your fun for a bit, sucking on his cock while riding his face. But when he felt himself get close, he dug his face in deeper, held you still by your hips, and sucked on your clit. He’d switch from sucking on it to liking. It almost felt as if he was making out with it. His tongue was soft and gentle, warm and slick as he showed love to your most intimate parts. His passion and true enjoyment were felt through each whimper left abandoned on your skin. It was times like these you wondered who he’d do it for, for whose pleasure this was for.

You felt tingles build up under your skin, ready and needing to break free, to explode. The air in your lungs had somehow found its way into your stomach and was now trapped with no way out. When you felt his tongue poke—no, barge into your cunt, your legs tightened against each side of his face, a natural response to such an intrusion. His dick twitched in your mouth; his space was tight. He couldn’t breathe, he was being asphyxiated. If this is how he went out, he’d gladly do it again. But he wants to finish the job first. A slap on your ass made you release his head from his most precious acclaim. Maybe later.

While he focused on you, you tried your hardest to pleasure him. His cock was deep in your mouth, not in your throat, but close. You focused on sucking him, but it was impossible. The moans you gagged around him were one thing, but the position itself was hard for you to keep up with. You took him out of your mouth and slid your hands up and down his cock, applying extra pressure to every vein you saw and swirling your thumb at the tip. You circled on his slit knowing it’d draw the whiniest moans out of him. It did. It had your pussy pulsating and throbbing around his tongue.

And with the sounds he made, the vibrations from his grunts and moans on your clit, you were coming. You stop the movement on your hands and sit up straight on his face to amplify the pressure. You circle and rub your pussy on his face until a cool-like feeling that originated from your clit, erupted and made your body numb and overwhelmed with electrifying pleasure. You felt as light as a feather that swirled through the air on a breezy day. Your eyes were lidded and mouth ajar, ears blocking out all sounds in the air as you were overtaken by an absolute state of ecstasy. With a final deep breath, you fall back down on him. His cock, in front of your face, and ready for you to take him in again.

This time, with no occurring factors to distract you, you take him all the way in. You gag and cough aground his tip when it meets with your throat but keep him in there, regardless of how your throat ached and nose stung. You began to bob your head up and down on him. Taking a little bit more than the last time. He still held your thighs in his hands. He squeezed on them, almost treating them like stress balls.

“Ah—fuck. Just like that baby.” He panted. Dangerously close himself. “Gonna make me cum so good. You always do.” He massaged your ass cheeks in front of his face. “Why don’t you take me a little—” He bucked his hips up, but it wasn’t a full thrust. It was more like an uncontrollable twitch. “More.” His voice cracked.

You moan around him once more and allow him to thrust his hips up into your throat. He bent his knees and began thrusting rapidly into your mouth. You couldn’t breathe. Your cheeks were probably stained by colorless teardrops that rapidly chased each other down your face to see which could reach your chin, fall, and melt on Eren’s warm skin, the fastest. You didn’t care, you couldn’t when the air was filled his moans and his grunts.

And with a few more thirsts, he came. Warm and thick straight down your throat. He harshly bucked his hips up a couple more times, until he was met with a twitch of his body. That’s when he sighed and remained still against the couch. Eren closed his eyes and breathed heavily. His chest felt tight. As if a million bricks were stationed on top of his heart. He got to experience that breeziness when he came. He got to feel like he was floating on the calmest sea there is. But it all came crashing down when you got up to clean yourself. When you had given him a quick peck and left for the bathroom, his heavy heart panicked. As if the bricks and after-sex-laziness magically disappeared, he stood up. Quickly catching up to You and following You like a lost puppy.

You hadn’t expected him to follow you. You assumed he needed a little space. So, it was a shock to you when you were dampening a towel in the sink, to see his reflection in the mirror.

“Eren?”

He was heading toward the shower but stopped behind you to lay a gentle kiss on your shoulder. It spoke. The kiss, it spoke. A thousand—no, maybe a thousand and one—words. It shivered your body all the way to your soul. Such a soft and small gesture, but the effect it had was explosive, or at least, it felt like it.

And he knew it, he could see it on your face. How it twisted into confusion. How your demeanor changed, how it left you a quiet mess, if that makes sense. It quickened his heart and made him feel warm when he saw the effects, he had on You. It reassured him of any late-night anxiousness that clouded his mind, the ones he’d never admit to having.

He hummed against your ear as he wrapped his arms around your waist. Laying another kiss on your shoulder before burying his nose on the crevice of your neck. He breathed you in.

Home.

He always felt at home. He didn’t know if it was Your scent, Your warmth, Your energy, or Your soul, but he knew no matter the place, no matter the situation, he’d find a home in Your arms. It could be the way You responded, raising your hand to part the locks of his hair in between Your fingers. It could also be how Your body reacted, chest raising so high You swear Your lungs were to burst. He didn’t know, and he didn’t care. He feels safe with You and that’s all that matters. That’s all he needs to know about this weird connection your souls have.

“Do you want to shower with me?” The vibrations laced in his words tickled your neck.

Your body’s failed attempt to jerk you away from his ticklish torture resulted in your head slammed against his.

He laughed as he shut his eyes deeply.

That hurt.

“You could’ve just said no.” He hugged you tighter with a smile on his face, paying no mind to the ache of his head.

You laugh with him. You’re not necessarily embarrassed, but you still apologize. Which Eren thought was unnecessary as you laughed at him with every ‘apologetic’ word.

He let go of your waist and opened the shower door. He looked back at you and wordlessly asked with his eyes if you were joining him, which of course, you were.

After slipping in with him, you turned on the water and waited for it to heat up.

When it did, you stood underneath it, letting everything soak on the water except your hair. Steam quickly filled the bathroom, and you felt your shoulders, drop. All the stiffness, vanishing just like that. You felt like you were floating. Your eyes closed as you were fighting to keep your body awake.

But that quickly changed when Eren tried to join you.

He reached a hand to feel the temperature and dramatically gasped when the water hit his skin.

“What the fuck are you?” His eyes distastefully staring wholes into you.

You snap your eyes open and look at him. “What do you mean?”

“Why is the water so hot?”

“Oh, my fucking God.” You turn your back to him.

“You’re boiling yourself like a chicken.”

“Eren, just get in.”

“You’re fucking crazy, I’ll die.”

You turn and look at him. “You’re not gonna die.”

He muttered something under his breath with the cutest pout on his face. You couldn’t be bothered to even ask him what it was.

He reached a hand around the water and made it colder. It was still warm, but not as much as before. You shake your head with a laugh and let it go.

He stood under the water and let it coat him completely. He shut his eyes and let the water hit his face as he brushed his hair back. He opened one eye to peek at you. “The fuck you laughing at?” Though his tone was harsh, the boyish smirk on his face upon seeing your body said otherwise.

“Nothing.” You dragged the ing and reached for the shampoo bottle on the space in the wall. You go on your tippy-toes, position the bottle on top of his head and squeeze.

He shuts his eyes tightly and says, “what the fuck are you doing?” His hands quickly start to wash it away since he was under the showerhead.

You pour an extra amount for his tone and put it back in its place

“If you get this shit in my eyes, I’m gonna be so mad-”

“Shut up.” You laugh and lightly punch his bicep.

He opened the same eye as earlier to peek at you, eyebrow raised, questioning the slight bump he felt on his, and I quote, ‘ripped bicep’.

“Yeah, don’t fuck with me!” You punch that arm again with just as much gentleness as before. It makes him suck in his lips to hide the grin You drew on his face.

He finishes washing his hair but remains under the water. “Are you gonna put that condition-shit that makes my hair smell like you?”

“Yes, Eren. Can you turn around for me?”

“Is this what makes my hair shiny and soft, too?”

You hold back your laugh. “Yes, Ren.”

“I like to look at it in the mirror sometimes.” He looks up at the tiled walls as he felt gentle tugs from the bottom of his hair. “If I move fast enough it looks like someone is shining a light at it or something.” He folded his arms over his chest and itched his elbow.

“Does it look bouncy? Is that what you mean?” You separate his conditioned hair into two sections and start braiding them. One of his favorite feelings in the world is feeling you play with his hair. Braiding is one of them. He loves the gentle, but prominent tugs he feels when a piece is tangled in your fingers. It’s the kind of pleasure that makes him shut his eyes and fall asleep under your touch under given any situation.

“Um, yeah, but I wasn’t really thinking about that.” He turns his head to look at you behind him. “If I move really quickly, like, turning my head to the right,” he rapidly turned his head to the other direction as a demonstration, “It looks like I’m getting hit with, like, a light.”

“Oh, you’re saying it’s shiny?”

“Yeah, but when you say it like that, it doesn’t sound as cool,” he muttered. A pout now adorning his face.

You grab liquid soap and start rubbing it over his body. “If you want it to shine, you gotta let it sit for a bit, yeah?”

“Okay.”

You rub your hands on his back. Your fingers slide through every dip of his bones. His muscles flexed firmly under your touch. You circle your soapy hands around his shoulders and neck. He shuts his eyes with a tight sigh and turns around. He looks at your body, up and down with eyes so fierce, he could start a fire by simply thinking of one. The dim lighting of your bathroom hugged his sharper features while highlighting his softer ones, the ones Carla gifted him. He looks down at your chest again and then down at your hands. Your eyes were stuck on his once he met them. Slowly lowering his hands, he reaches for yours and gives each one a quick squeeze before placing them on his stomach. He looked down at your hands and looked up at you again through his eyebrows. His forehead creased and pupils almost touched his upper lids

“Okay,” you whispered, stepping closer to him while caressing his body. You watched big and small bubbles follow your hands through his skin. You left a trail where your hands passed, through his chest, which flexed under your touch, his shoulder blades that felt tight, his abdominals, which you made sure to apply extra pressure to the creases and dips of his muscles, and his arms. You felt his hairs slowly rise under your touch.

And while you focused on how his body reacted to your touch, he squeezed soap into his hands and rubbed them together, placing them on your body, too. A small gasp slips from your lips as his hands slip through your body. His gaze followed his hands that traveled through you. He circled his hands around your shoulders and collar bones. Big, rough hands washing the most delicate parts of you. He stepped closer, so close his body was joined with yours, his hardened cock against your pelvis. You felt a storm of shivers intrude in your body. Making you almost as warm as the clouds of steam that surrounded you. You look at Eren in the eyes, he isn’t looking at you. He’s too focused on his hands as he slides them lower. His eyes quickly shot up at yours, silently asking if you were okay with it.

With a quick and breathless nod, he focuses on your chest again. He cups both breasts at the same time, soapy hands tickling your hardened nipples. You moan and look up at him. He didn’t look real. He was wet with his hair neatly into two braids and a cloud of smoke behind him. Everything looked opaque and unreal. It was too good to be true.

He squeezed your breasts, fuck. His deep groan echoed and bounced around every wall in the squared room until it disappeared into the steam.

“Eren,” you whimper.

He squeezes you again and dissolves the harshness of his hold with a massage. It made you dizzy, hazy. How the slightest bit of pain could feel like the most blissful sensation you have ever felt.

“Eren.” You moan this time.

“Yeah?”

“So–you’re so hard,” you say breathlessly.

“Ignore that.” He squeezed your breasts once more before massaging your shoulders again.

“Eren.”

He shut his eyes and moved his hands down your stomach.

“Er-”

He squatted down and slid his hands down your legs. He looked up at you with big eyes that pleaded. His cheeks flushed pink from the steam and water dripped from his body and face. His hands were warm and squeezed everything they touched. While keeping your eyes locked with his, he laid a gentle kiss on your pussy.

You gasp from feeling his cold lips make contact with your skin. A warm feeling rushes south and pools in your stomach. And he does it again; keeps his eyes on yours while gently kissing your soft skin. You stabilize yourself by grabbing his hair. He kisses again, this time adding his tongue. You pull on his hair, desperate to release the tension on your cunt. Eren moans, deep and low against your skin, terrifying you with an attack of chills. He quickly kisses the same spot again before raising his lips to kiss your stomach and then your neck as he gets up.

He grabbed onto your neck with one hand and roughly pulled you against him. His hardness touching your stomach, and lips crashing with yours, teeth and noses bumping against each other with the swift movement.

“Mhm,” you whine before opening your mouth and allowing him access. He parts your legs with his knee and places the top of his tight under your pussy.

He takes your hips in his hands and rubs your cunt on his thigh. He flexes his thighs and bites your lower lip when he feels the pulsations coming from your clit, above his muscles.

You grind on him, back and forth, as you gasp for air. It was too much. Him, licking your pathetic breaths away while you ridiculously grinned on his thigh and as his cock embarrassingly pressed against your stomach, was too much. You were both panting disasters who felt too hot to be holding onto each other as you did. It was all too much for you, and him, too.

Eren couldn't wait another second. “Fuck,” he muttered before spinning you around and pressing you—chest first— into the cool and wet tile wall.

His cock, now inches away from where you want—no, need him the most. You arch your back with a cry. It hurt. To be left untouched, like this, hurts. Your cunt throbbed and you felt like every throb that built up would eventually explode. That’s how much you needed him.

It’d be untrue if Eren said he didn’t feel the same. His balls felt tight and strained, he needed that release in pressure, too. Having you against a wall, completely bare and dripping wet for him, had his lungs failing as he couldn’t take one proper breath with You like this in his sight.

“I know, baby. I know.” One hand massaged the soft curve of your ass and his other pumped his cock while his tip was pressed between your ass cheeks.

You feel his struggle and arch your back deeper while spreading your legs further.

He separated your ass cheeks with his thumb and watched his cock get swallowed in your warmth.

Eren closed his eyes with a sigh of pleasure, satisfaction, and desperation, all combined into one. He felt as if his neck muscles could no longer hold his head up and allowed it to fall, to hang between your bodies as he continued to push through the tightness of your cunt.

Your cunt gripped onto him so tightly, he could barely move. Your cheek was pressed against the wall along with your chest. The contrast of having something so crisp, so cold, against one half of your body while your other was completely involved and wrapped in the warmness of all kinds: solid, liquid, gas, made you hazy. Your head was foggier than the room you stood in.

“I’m all in.” He breathed heavily behind you. “I’m all in,” he said slowly. His hands held his body by pressing them against the wall in front of you, head laying on the back of your shoulder, your warm skin and scent spinning his world. He groaned heavily behind your ear, leaving a few open-mouthed kisses on that spot. He pulled his hips back and his lower body twitched, fuck.

You were so tight. With his eyes still shut, he rolled them to the back of his head. So, so, so tight. He sometimes forgets but is always reminded, not with the first thrust, but with that first attempt to pull out, how your walls clamp around him so tightly it almost hurts. He slams his hips forward, almost angry with how you make him feel. With how quickly you make him fight back an orgasm. You’re pushed further against the wall with the impact, a broken moan spilling from your opened mouth.

He pulled back until he saw only his tip inside, and pushed back in. He hit every spot at once. Eren didn’t even have to try, but he put in the effort anyway. Snapping his hips forward with a wave of his hips. Fucking up into you.

Every sound released in the air sounded like chants. They all echoed around the room and slid in the deepest parts of your ears. You wanted to scream his name, make it sound like a choir because you’re sure it’d be possible.

The sounds of water crashing on top of you, angry slaps of skin against skin, also adorned the air. The warm water flowing through your skin, his cock making your walls clench around him, and every push of his hips into yours, pushing you further against the wall…

It was too much. It was all too much.

“Eren,” you whine. Desperate for that release.

“Yeah, baby?”

“I’m-” You’re interrupted by a moan spilling from your lips and joining all the other sounds in the air.

“You’re close—yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Gonna cream around my cock?”

Your face heats up. No matter how cold the surface you’re against is, nothing could have cooled the hot rush of blood that invaded your face when he said that.

He smacks your ass. Watching it jingle under him. He gave it a squeeze that was bound to leave a mark.

“Answer.”

He fucked into you harsh and hard and slow, giving you enough time to process and flavor each thrust, focus on every touch of his body with yours.

“Fuck.” He muttered under his breath as he pulled out.

Your eyes snap open instantly at the loss of contact. You pissed him off, he’s not gonna let you cum. “Eren, you’re-” You start, but you’re cut off with Eren's hands on your shoulders, spinning you around and pushing you against the wall, in the position you were in when this started.

He looked down at your body and grabbed your breast. Eren split your legs open with his thigh, took one of your legs, and held it against his hip. His cock was so fucking hard, it had veins. It twitched up and his tip, which is usually pink, was flushed one or two shades darker. He held himself by the base and pushed into your never-ending warmth. Eren closed his eyes and wrapped the leg that he held, around his back, which pushed him deeper into you.

“Eren—fuck.” He held his hand over your mouth. Your eyes widened and your chest heaved up and down.

“You wanted to stay quiet, right? Stay—quiet then.” He panted, trying as hard as he could to not show Your effect on him.

You open your mouth, but he just wraps his hand tighter around your face, your jaw. He pulled out of you a bit, your leg not allowing him much space.

“Shut the fuck up.” He snapped his hips up into you.

You moan against his mouth. He thinks your muffled voice sounds even better against his skin.

Eren’s other hand reached for your breast and squeezed. His head fell against yours. Forehead to forehead, he now looks at your eyes and watches you moan and gasp against his hand.

“Didn’t I tell her to shut the fuck up?” He loves how disobedient you are at times. It gives him a rush that he just can’t seem to explain. Eren squeezed on your chest harder and fucked into you quicker.

Your eyes were shut, and your body was held up by him and the wall. Your legs were exhausted, and your arms held up by his shoulders. You clawed at any skin you could find, whether it was his chest, shoulder, or back, it didn’t matter. It somehow helped to release the built-up tingles that flowed through your body with every drop of water.

Eren removed his hand from your mouth and replaced it with his mouth. Kissing you deeply and breathing you in at the same time. Your hands quickly find his hair and pull him closer.

He lets go of your lips and says, “please—please cum.”

Your mouth was left open in front of his, but you didn’t join it. You were close, you could feel that rush in your core.

“I can’t take it anymore. Please, baby. Cum.”

You moaned, loud and clear, it echoed around the room and hit him back, snuck into the deepest parts of his ears. “Fuck,” He whispered. Though it was audibly low, you didn’t miss the crack of his voice. “I need you to cum. Need to feel you—please.” His deep breaths filled your ear. His lips kissed the top of your ear, all while he pushed you up and down the tile wall. “Gonna fill you up—once you do. Promise.”

You threw your head back against the wall. He was so whiny. How could he be so dominant and then beg you to let him cum?

“Gonna make you so full of my cum—fuck. You’re gonna make a mess of my cock when you cream around it, right? You fucking slut.” He groaned.

And that’s when you came. With one deep gasp, you felt chills race down your back and felt sounds come from your mouth, but you couldn’t hear them. Tingling sensations erupted from your core and trembled your whole body. You felt high,

higher than you ever had before, and when you came crashing down, you fell against his body. Into his arms with the biggest smile that could fit your face as he mercilessly chanced his high.

Your cunt pulsated around him, he felt it specifically on his tip and he couldn’t hold it anymore. With a few more thrusts, he came. Eren completely emptied himself in you and shot his warm cum as far back as he could reach. His face was on your shoulder, his teeth chewing down at your soft and wet flesh as he fucked into you, riding out his high until his body’s twitching made him stop.

Eren stood still, still inside you and panting heavily. Your body, heavy, but held by him and the wall. He had, actually, quite literally, fucked you dumb, he smiled to himself.

“Baby?”

He grabbed your face in his hand and turned it to look at him. Your eyes were lidded and your pupils, blown out.

“Hey, baby,” he shook your head in his hand, “C’mon, let’s get you cleaned up and tucked in, yeah?”

You smile and nod.

***

After washing your bodies again, you finished showering. You now looked at your reflection in the bathroom mirror. You were moisturizing your face while Eren was somewhere in your bedroom, probably already asleep, like always.

A few minutes before, he was sat on the marbled counter, his back against the mirror and his hair tucked back with a gray headband with the cutest bunny ears on top. His eyes were shut, and his eyebrows creased as you applied SPF on his skin. Sometimes Eren forgot to do the nighttime routine you specifically made for him, but on the nights, he did remember, he thoughtfully enjoyed it, especially if it was done by you.

His favorite part of bonding with you like this is making questions he already knows the answer to. “What’s this for?” As he holds a cleanser. “Is this water?” As you tap hyaluronic acid on his skin. “Why is this so wet?” As you tapped the moisturizer in. Honestly, he didn’t care about the products or what they did. What he looked forward to, was seeing you explaining what that specific product did and why he should use it. Sometimes he’d get extra annoying and ask the reason behind each use. He watched you with a sneaky smile on his face as you scolded him on why his face should be wet when you’re applying ‘more wet’ on his face, referring to the hyaluronic acid and moisturizer.

You were so passionate about it, eyes expanding every time you said, “moisture barrier,” and “slugging.” As if any of those words were even remotely related to the question he asked, or maybe they were, he wouldn’t know.

“Mmm. I think I get it now,” he said. Eren watched as your eyes grew hopeful and shined with happiness.

“Really?!”

“No.” He plopped down from the counter and kissed your pouty mouth. “Don’t take too long in here.” And left out the door.

You smile at the recent memory as you spread the extra product on your neck. After quickly washing your hands, you head to your bedroom. When you open the door, you carefully tiptoe in, afraid to wake him up. He’s grumpy, you’ve made that a mental note. After four-light steps in, he notices your presence. “Took you long enough.” He muttered, his forearm covered his eyes, his Adam’s apple popped out due to his outstretched neck.

“Sorry, got distracted with… some music,” you say as you lift one knee on the bed and crawl in.

When Eren felt your weight on the mattress, he placed the arm on his face on your side of the bed, his hand closed and opened, he did grabby hands.

You take the invitation and lie on top of it. Eren turns on his side and pulls you closer. You slip your legs and body in the warmth that’s found under your duvet and cough out a laugh at how Eren has already taken his special place on your chest. He nudged his face on the warm flesh of your breasts and allowed the heartbeat and raising and falling of your chest to steer his mind into a calmer place, one he felt safe in and happy to enter. Your scent and the overall comfort of laying like this just made the experience better.

He laid a few kisses on your breasts and tangled his legs with yours. You laugh at his clinginess. You find it adorable but surprising, especially when he felt comfortable enough to show you this side of him.

You’re not sure how you expected a man like Eren to sleep with his partner, but what he does now is not it.

The first night you stayed over at his place, back when you were young and dumb college students who called each other's dorm rooms their place, was normal. Nothing out of the ordinary. He cuddled when you scooted closer to him, he drew circles on your bare and vulnerable skin and kissed your forehead any time he could. Back then he felt distant, though. Nothing like the man he is now. He didn’t necessarily make you think he didn’t like you, but that he didn’t feel comfortable with too much PDA, which is something you respected.

It wasn’t after a year or so of dating that he was intimate with you like this. What you found special about that night was that he looked for your warmth while he was asleep. He looked for you when his consciousness and pride couldn’t stop him. When he scooted closer to you, you thought he wanted to spoon you like he always did. You thought his warm arms would loosely wrap around your body. You thought he would press his chest to your back. You thought you’d eventually feel his breathing on your neck; the definition of protecting someone; but then he didn’t, he did the exact opposite, actually. He pressed his head against your heart and held you by the waist, tightly, very tightly. Weirdly, in the same way, a child hugs a teddy bear when they crave affection.

Your heart burst into a million pieces upon seeing him like that, you don’t know why. Maybe it was how innocent he looked? His brown hair was tucked behind his ears and his pale skin of winter, glimmered when hit with the light from the full moon outside. His long eyelashes fluttered and tickled your skin. Eren looked so at peace, so comfortable.

That night, you wrapped your arms around his head and allowed him to breathe you in, to feel you. You brushed his hair and felt him hug you tighter. You kissed the top of his head and found sleep not long after. The next morning, Eren woke up later than usual. You woke him by scratching and kissing his head gently, and for the first time since you’ve spent the night with him, he wasn’t unexplainably grumpy when awakened. He fluttered his eyes open and upon seeing your face higher than his, him in your arms, he froze. Stayed still for a minute or two, maybe three, honestly. But after the unknown minutes that he spent collecting his emotions, his eyes soon found yours. He stared at you with a shy smile as he said, “morning.” His sleepy voice made your chest rise.

Since then, it’s not uncommon for Eren to go to sleep in your arms. It usually happens after a long day when he’s ready to be vulnerable.

You scratch his head while he closes his eyes and pulls you tighter against him. He really needed you. You don’t say anything, though. It’s better to give him his space, to allow him to soak up all the comfort your body is willing to give. And just as you had figured, he broke the silence first.

His eyes were closed, breathing faint, but still there, when he said, “today was shitty.”

You hum in acknowledgment.

“Remember when you told me tea had caffeine in it?”

“Mhm.” You close your eyes and focus on his voice as you brush his hair back.

“I can’t stand the smell of my breath after coffee, and my mask traps it in. So, I drank tea today because it has caffeine in it.

“I went to work and maybe two hours in, I was already exhausted. When I had to present my idea today, I forgot almost everything I had to say. I was so tired. Kristen and Springer made a few comments about my stuttering, but Braus said I did fine.” He sighed a weighted breath. It hit the skin of your breasts. It was warm, too. “I don’t think I’ll get that promotion. My colleagues are assholes and I’m over this fucking job.

“I just don’t know what to do,” he whispered, hoping you hadn’t heard him.

You had.

“Eren, you don’t have to hide how you feel from me.” You look down at him and see his fingers playing with the straps of your tank top. He blinks as he looks down at your skin. “You know you can be vulnerable. I won’t ever judge you.”

He stares down at your skin, warm and soft, and presses his face harder against you. He squeezed his eyes shut as tears flowed from his eyes onto your skin. His cheeks had blotches of pretty pink that covered them, the tip of his nose was flushed red, and it stung. He sniffed, hoping the discomfort from his nose would disappear but an accidental hiccup slipped from the back of his throat. And if the warm tears that shimmered your skin with the moonlight weren’t enough of a sign, this is.

“Baby.” You kiss the top of his head and brush his hair back. “It’s okay.” You kiss him again, and again. “It's okay.”

“I'm just so tired.”

“Of what, baby? You can tell me anything.”

“Of a nine-to-five. Of not having time for the shit, I want to do. I feel like I can't even get a good night’s sleep anymore. I feel stuck. Like a caged animal. This isn’t what I wanted to do in life and I just get so angry-”

He stops and takes a deep breath. “My whole life, all I've ever prioritized was my education so that I could get a job and be independent. I was so set on proving my sister wrong. Proving to her that I don't need her, that I don’t need her protection… that I never gave any passion or hobby of mine much thought.”

His right-hand traced circles on your back. His shoulders trembled a bit. His voice traveled through your ears in waves. “I guess I didn't realize how empty and disgusting my life was until this last week. How am I a slave to other people’s wants and desires in my life but not to my own? I don’t even know what I want. If I told you right now what I want, it’d be a lie.”

Eren looked at the supple skin of your breast and laid a gentle kiss on your skin. A teardrop fell when he closed his eyes while doing so. He opened his eyes to see another teardrop fall on your skin. He waits for it to melt and blend into your skin before a breathy chuckle fills the air. He lightly closes his eyes before shaking his head and grinning ever wider.

“You know what’s fucked, but made me happy?

“When Mikasa came to me, asking me for money last year. You remember that don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“To see my big sis, the fucking pride and joy of the family, Mikasa Ackerman on my doorstep asking me for a small loan of a couple thousand to get her through the week, was truly the highlight of my year. And don’t get me wrong, I felt bad for her, of course, I did. She’s my sister. But it’s like my ego grew twice as big when I saw that out of all the people she knew, she came to me for help.

“She could’ve asked Armin, or even our parents, but no, she chose me. When I realized she finally saw me as enough—as reliable enough to help her, I realized how caged my life was. After that, it just went downhill. After getting that small satisfaction that I no longer craved, I realized just how empty my life was. The only thing that felt right was you, of course. But other than that, I have a shitty job and a shitty, boring life. I want to do something, anything. Literally, anything would be better than this. Last week I had a dream that the world was fucking ending and got disappointed because I woke up. You know, I actually did shit in that dream. I was the hero.”

It didn’t feel like the end of a sentence. It felt like Eren had more to say but considering just how long he’s kept this to himself, you feel like pushing more information out of him would just be cruel. This is more than enough for you to understand what’s happening. Actually, you didn’t think you were even getting this much.

“Eren, I support you.” You look down at him and sweep his hair away from his forehead. “I’ll always support you. If you want to quit your job and figure out what you want to do, I'll get one.”

Eren looks up at you, at the light twinkling in your eyes, at the truth spilling from your lips, and at the admiration shining in your eyes.

“We can figure this out together. You would never allow me to be miserable if the roles were switched.” You breathe in, and out. “Allow yourself to be vulnerable, Eren. You aren’t weak or unreliable if you ask for help, or even if you allow others to do things for you. You deserve to be taken care of just like you’ve done with me and everyone else in your life.”

Eren felt his chest rise with your words. He felt his throat tighten and his eyes burn. He shielded his emotions by laying his cheek against your chest again. He breathed you in, so heavy that your arms were lifted from the sudden expansion of his back, and he said, “thank you, for everything.”

Just what would I do without Her?

-

dipping for another month lol (jk lol)

-

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[chososheart]

you don’t know how it happened, or how you ended up here but your hands are on him, everywhere on him; his hair, his face, his chest. your index finger looped under his belt, pulling him in…

“eren,” you moan.

“yeah?”

you feel him grind against you, his boner pressing hard against your hip.

“here?” you ask quietly. you’re afraid the random rush of adrenaline that made him pin you up against the wall will vanish if you remind him about how risky this is.

his hands find your ass and pull you closer, so much closer, it answers for him. yes, here.

you’re wet. your shirt stuck on you, your bra inching and poking your skin in the wrong ways. his hair sending droplets of rain down your face. one second ago, you were running away from the rain with him, and now, you’re in a warmly lit room being shoved so hard against the wall, you’re afraid it’s a part of you now. and as good as it feel, as magically and exciting as it is to be held by eren like this, you know it must come to an end.

you pull away from his touch, and put your hand on his chest to push him away a bit. “baby, not here. remember they’re coming?”

he breathed heavy, too heavy. you can feel his heartbeat as if it’s your own from how close his body’s stuck to yours.

“i forgot,” he says with brows furrowed. you can still feel him.

you don’t know who ‘they’ are, or why they’re coming in this room but you know you can’t stay here longer.

eren pulls away from you, and with the same dissatisfied look on his face, he pulls you by the hand and into the restroom on the other side of the door you just passed by. he opens a stall door and locks it after he’s in.

you’re standing in front of the stall door when you say, “eren, are you sure?” you can’t help but find it incredibly attractive just how dominant he’s being, especially since he’s usually the exact opposite.

“yea.”

he turns you around and pushes his dick against your ass. you’re both still fully clothed, but it feels so good. he rubs his erection against you while he squeezes your hips. you moan and close your eyes, hoping he gets rid of the pulses that have achingly taken over your cunt.

eren’s moaning uncontrollably when he pushes your skirt up and pulls your panties aside. his tip lingers at your entrance.

“put it in, baby. i want you to.” with that he pushes in slow and deep. you always feel him so much bigger from this position.

“baby,” he groans. he picks up his pace in no time, fucking you hard against the cool stall.

you’re biting your lip as you feel him rub against your walls continuously, he takes his right hand against your clit. his mouth is open and breathing heavy against your ear when he says. “baby, how do you feel?”

“good.” you cry.

“good? yeah?” he shoved his hips closer to you.

“yea, baby. so good.” your eyes are squeezed shut.

“oh, my god. it feels so good.” he pants. eren gets so whiny when he’s close.

you open your legs further. “baby, are you close?”

“yea.” his eyes are shut and your ears are met with a string of curses not long after.

you arch your back and say, “you’re doing so good, baby. doing so good. you’re always so good.”

“baby, you feel so good.” his voice turns you on so much, it’s insane.

“yeah, baby? how does it feel?”

“wet, baby. so wet.” he’s fucking you so good, you know you’re close.

“baby, i’m close. oh, my god, baby, i’m so close.” you whisper, your face pressed against the stall.

“cum for me, baby. i want you to cum.” he cries out. “i want you to cum, baby. i want you to feel good.” he’s fucking you harder now, taking no mercy on you. his hand drawing steady circles on your puffy clit.

“baby, i’m gonna cum.”

eren kisses your neck and fastens his speed until he feels that pulsing sensation he knows too well around his dick. your pussy tightens around him, which is always his breaking point.

“baby, baby. i’m gonna cum.” his voice is raspy and low against your ear. “tell me you want me to cum, baby. please tell me to cum.”

“baby, cum, baby. please cum. i want you to cum in me baby.”

“yeah?” he whispers.

“yeah, baby. i want you to cum so bad. please cum for me baby.”

he cums in your cunt. thick and heavy. you feel it shooting in you and can’t help but to moan.

you both stay still in your positions, breathing slow and heavy. letting your euphoric highs come to an end. eren pulls out of you and before you move, he takes your ass cheeks in his hands and licks your pussy. you twitch, it’s sensitive. but he continues to suck and lick the cum out of you.

when he’s done, he takes you by the back of your head, turns you around, and spits it in your mouth. it tastes sweet. it’s insane, you always expected men to taste like liquified shit but eren, once again, is above the standard. you’d go as far as craving his cum in your mouth and finding it tasty.

you look at him in the eyes and swallow. he smiles shorty after and fills your face with kisses.

—

i haven’t posted in over a year, sorry if i’m rusty 🥲

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