cinderstorm

[cinderstorm]

a few days ago, @zmeess posted this incredible artwork and it has lived in my head rent-free ever since and inspired this little ficlet

“Caleb.” 

Essek says it on an exhale, a mere breath of wind that quietly disturbs the still of the hour, and yet the impact is as if he slammed open the door and crashed into the space. Caleb’s hand tighten’s on his, his eyes impossibly wide, reflecting the blue light of Catha as it slowly pools into the space.

That same hand pulls him in closer until Caleb’s other clings to his waist, fisting in the fabric of his tunic.

“Starlight,” says Caleb, thumb brushing over Essek’s knuckles. “You’ve dressed in starlight.”

Essek’s breath hitches, as he reaches a hand out to cup Caleb’s cheek. “Hardly. It’s just fabric. Now you, your cheeks are dusted in freckles. That is true starlight.”

Caleb uses the hand on his waist to tug him in closer, and the motion causes Essek to bump into the table behind him. He hears a crack and splash—the bottle of ink Caleb was using must have been uncorked—but he doesn’t turn to it. Neither does Caleb.

“You have your own freckles, Essek Thelyss.” Caleb drinks the sight of him in, his eyes roaming over Essek’s face, and he knows he is doing the same. Caleb looks the same, though his hair is a little longer, the bags under his eyes are a little lighter, and there are a few more crease lines around his eyes. Time has passed, and yet the hands that reach are the same. The scent of parchment, of sandalwood and incense, that is all the same. “And yours are truly flecks of starlight. I can see why you picked this fabric.”

It’s a matter of moving, to press in close, to shift his hand until it is clutched in Caleb’s hair rather than on his cheek, until he is standing between Caleb’s parted thighs and Caleb is holding onto him just as fiercely.

“I have missed you,” says Caleb, voice low and heavy, the truth of his words reverberating through Essek’s sternum and into his heart.

“As have I.” He presses his nose to the centre of Caleb’s forehead and closes his eyes, breathing deeply. “I—” Caleb’s arms are cradling his back, cradling his waist, as if he too, is remembering the shape of him and the weight he takes up. He’s tugged impossibly closer, until he’s kneeling on either side of Caleb’s lap, breathing the same air, sharing the same space. “I did not expect you to still be awake.”

“Sleep does not come easily when there are good books to read and drow suitors to await.”

Essek chuckles fondly, shifting to press his lips to Caleb’s forehead before settling down more comfortably onto Caleb. And if this position brings them closer, brings them into a way to speak of his interest, then that is neither here nor there. “Oh? What was so engaging to keep you from it?”

“How long do you have?”

“All night, my love. All night.”

#shadowgast #critical role #fanfiction #critical role fanfiction #not mine

[cinderstorm]

Okay if you write. Listen to me.

Set a daily word goal. Not a big one, because you won't be able to make it every day, you will likely procrastinate and not write at all, or feel guilty about not making the goal.

Set a small goal. Set a tiny goal if you have to.

400? Amazing. 100? Wonderful. 50? Heck yes. One fucking sentance? VALID.

Mine is 200 words a day. I haven't felt particularly inspired recently, but over the past month I've written at least 200 words nearly every day.

Which leads me into my next point: if you have to skip a day THAT'S OKAY. There will come a day when you feel really inspired and write 2000 words, and you'll make it up.

Sometimes I write 200 words and then my creativity runs out, but sometimes I sit down and write a whole lot.

Since I started doing this, my story has progressed so fast, and I feel like this is probably going to be the first full-length novel I finish.

Obviously this method isn't for everyone, but I recommend you try it. If it doesn't work for you that's fine! Find something that does.

#writing advice

[cinderstorm]

WIP Wednesday: A Tapestry of Stars

Hey, y'all~ Still in mid-hiatus right now, but I happened to notice it was Wednesday and decided to drop an upcoming snippet for A Tapestry of Stars (first chapter here) Enjoy~

Caleb spent the rest of the evening in his chambers, cradling Frumpkin against his chest as he bounced between the frail hope that Essek would help him, as Veth had insisted he would, and the looming fear that Essek would come down to the breakfast table tomorrow and tell him to pack his things. He’d expected to feel relief; each time he’d broken himself open for one of the Nein, it had been like the lancing of a wound: a slow poison being forcefully purged from his veins, leaving him, if not clean, at least a little lighter. But then, the Nein had always been quick with their forgiveness, assuring him that who he’d become with them was more important than who he’d been with Ikithon.

Essek had been harder to read: stiff and guarded one moment, passionately defending Caleb’s failures the next. When he’d taken the data chip, Essek had seemed more distracted than anything else, staring at the little disc with something like unease, as if he were holding a poisonous spider he feared might bite him. Caleb hadn’t expected reassurance—in confessing his sins, he’d also admitted that much of what Essek believed about his history was a fabrication meant to make him a more viable marriage candidate—but he’d expected something: a clearer indication of what his husband thought of his past, at least. Then again, Essek had grown up steeped in den politics. Of course he would have better control over his reactions than the Nein.

And so Caleb fretted, torn between a dozen disparate fears: that he’d said too much, or too little; that Essek didn’t believe him; that Essek did believe him, and was merely hiding his disgust at how easily Caleb had been manipulated. And then the more practical worries: that Essek would decrypt the data chip only to find it held nothing of significance; that he’d somehow discern Caleb’s continued involvement with the Assembly and expose him as a spy; that he’d do the sensible thing and demand a divorce.

#critical role #essek thelyss #caleb widogast #shadowgast #a tapestry of stars #fanfiction #critical role fanfic

[cinderstorm]

essek thelyss

#art #fan art #critical role #not mine

[cinderstorm]

Terminal Hanaki? Boring. Chronic Hanahaki? Exciting.

#love this idea actually #hanahaki disease #fanfiction

[cinderstorm]

i like her a bit tormented

#art #not mine

[cinderstorm]

Chapter 50 of A Tapestry of Stars is now available! In this one, Caleb tells Essek the truth of what happened to him at Soltryce Academy, and Essek tries his best not to have a nervous breakdown.

#critical role #essek thelyss #caleb widogast #shadowgast #a tapestry of stars #critical role fanfic #fanfiction #my fics

[cinderstorm]

Chapter 49 of A Tapestry of Stars is live! In this one, Caleb and Essek have a long-awaited conversation, and the secrets they've been keeping from each other begin to unravel.

#critical role #essek thelyss #caleb widogast #shadowgast #a tapestry of stars #critical role fanfic #fanfiction #my fics

[cinderstorm]

Chapter 48 of A Tapestry of Stars is now live! In this one, Caleb sees Veth off at the spaceport, then comes to grips with his coming conversation with Essek. But not everything can be fixed with the truth, and while Caleb is trying to mend their relationship, another complication rears its head.

#critical role #essek thelyss #caleb widogast #shadowgast #a tapestry of stars #fanfiction #critical role fanfic #my fics

[cinderstorm]

Chapter 47 of A Tapestry of Stars is now live~ In this one, Essek attempts to bury himself in his work only to find his thoughts drifting toward old memories.

#critical role #essek thelyss #caleb widogast #shadowgast #a tapestry of stars #critical role fanfic #fanfiction #my fics

[cinderstorm]

Chapter 46 of A Tapestry of Stars is now live! In this one, Caleb sits down for an important talk with Veth, who offers up some valuable marriage advice.

#essek thelyss #caleb widogast #critical role #shadowgast #a tapestry of stars #critical role fanfic #my fics

[cinderstorm]

Chapter 45 is now up. In this one, Veth offers an unexpected invitation, and Caleb teeters on the edge of a crisis in his relationship with Essek.

#critical role #essek thelyss #caleb widogast #shadowgast #a tapestry of stars #critical role fanfic #my fics

[cinderstorm]

Chapter 44 of A Tapestry of Stars is now available~ In this one, Caleb and Essek continue their experiments in Essek's lab, only to be interrupted by an unexpected call from a familiar face.

#essek thelyss #caleb widogast #shadowgast #critical role #a tapestry of stars #critical role fanfic #my fics

[cinderstorm]

Chapter 43 of A Tapestry of Stars is now live~ In this one, Caleb explores Essek's laboratory and feels a gravitational pull toward his husband.

Chapter 1 available here.

#critical role #essek thelyss #caleb widogast #shadowgast #a tapestry of stars #critical role fanfic #my fics

[cinderstorm]

Chapter 42 of A Tapestry of Stars is now available! In this one, Essek renegotiates the terms of his deal with Ludinus, and Caleb presents his husband with a sparkly new gift.

#critical role #essek thelyss #caleb widogast #shadowgast #a tapestry of stars #critical role fanfic #my fics

[cinderstorm]

Chapter 41 of A Tapestry of Stars is now available~ In this one, Caleb attempts to crack the encryption on the Assembly's secret files, then makes a brief trip to the Gallimaufry to acquire a gift for his husband.

#essek thelyss #caleb widogast #critical role #shadowgast #a tapestry of stars #critical role fanfic #my fics

[cinderstorm]

Chapter 40 of A Tapestry of Stars is now available for your reading pleasure~ In this one, Essek faces the first gales of the brewing media firestorm, then receives an unexpected call.

Chapter 1 available here.

#critical role #essek thelyss #caleb widogast #shadowgast #a tapestry of stars #fanfiction #my fics #critical role fanfic