crazy-baby909

[crazy-baby909]

girls dont want boyfriends, girls want fancy ceremonial daggers to wear strapped to their thighs for style and intimidation

[crazy-baby909]

i love cats. like we as a species just really go out of our way to obtain fat little house goblins in the hopes that they will occasionally acknowledge us

[crazy-baby909]

the distinction between “crafts” and “fine art” is probably driven by misogyny and the devaluation of women’s labor

[crazy-baby909]

Mine will steal a Dorito right out your mouth if you don’t share them

“I told her she wouldn’t like salt & vinegar chips.” (via julsmadison)

#doritos #cats #crazycats #food #crisps #theivingcat

[crazy-baby909]

We have all now seen the face of death and lived

for some reason in my (cursed? blessed?) sims game i am able to invite the grim reaper to parties, and now he regularly shows up even if i don’t invite him. he often brings ceviche. normal quality. he’s a decent party guest except for the fact that the only interaction you can have with him is to slow dance. naturally i made one of my sims slow dance with him, which gave him the notification ‘we have a lot in common! id love to get to know you better’. so anyway, a couple of days and parties later, it’s 6 am and my sim gets a phone call. it’s death. he wants to know if i want to go on a date. 

naturally my sim accepts. death takes him to the school stadium in the rain and stands outside, unable to be interacted with, while a thought bubble containing my sim’s face pops up over his head for a simlish hour, over and over again, carrying a rainbow umbrella while my sim sits on the ground and considers the hollowness of life. 

remembering that all i can do is slow dance with him, i drive him to moonlight point, where there’s a couch and a record player, and i slow dance with him for about 5 hours. every 2 seconds he steps on my sims’ foot, to the point where it was hard to get decent pictures of them actually slow dancing. 

after a while my sim got hungry so i let him go drink some juice, and death went and started reading a book on a couch. i went and sat next to him, wondering if there would be any new interactions since you get different ones when you sit on a couch or bench, and lo and behold i discovered, not only can you slow dance with death, you can also cuddle with him. naturally i did so because the quality of dates is determined by the number of positive social interactions you have with someone, and slow dancing unfortunately doesn’t give you any of those, but cuddling does. anyway, once you start the cuddling animation, you get fancy new options like kiss and make out, so my sim spent the next six hours making out with death on a shitty couch at the beach in a thunderstorm while listening to sim!bastille. 

after a couple dozen make out sessions, a single option appeared under the Romantic… heading: ‘take a romantic photo together’. this only shows up once you’re a romantic interest of someone. i have now successfully wooed death. knowing that selecting this option would make death stand up from the couch and i likely wouldn’t be able to get him to sit again, i decided to end the date at the tender hour of 3 am (i guess death doesn’t sleep) with a kiss. it takes a while- death can’t seem to figure out where to stand or how to walk around a foosball table- but eventually i get my picture.

but apparently death doesnt like having his picture taken. 

i try to slow dance again with him, but the option has disappeared. i have committed an irreparable social faux pas. i sit on the couch again in the hopes that death will resume reading his book and i can cuddle with him again, but instead he stands in front of the bookshelf for an hour. i take a break, leaving my sim to his own devices for a while while i check in on my other sims, since one of them just went into labour. i deal with that. when i return, i find my sim drinking juice in silence with death still standing in front of the bookshelf, but he’s changed into this sick new outfit in the interim. 

beekeeper chic. finally, at 6 am, death decides he’s had enough. he will never forgive me for my social blunder of taking a selfie while lipping at his shadowy veil. he opens up his rainbow umbrella and leaves. 

the date doesn’t end until i get home. i receive no date notification. death doesn’t even deign to let me know how badly i fucked up. all i have to remember my 24 hour gay liaison with one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse is a single selfie. i hang it over my sims bed, a constant reminder to him that he has achieved ultimate goth status, and a warning to the others he dates: i have kissed death, and he never called me back.

[crazy-baby909]

Animals with marking that look like symbols, e.g a heart

things that are good, in no particular order:

animals with markings that look like eyebrows

animals with markings that look like socks

[crazy-baby909]

Omg @iamnotfabulous next bounding ideas

I call this set… “Noir Princesses”.

PRINTS HERE… https://bit.ly/2NqqOX7

#disney #bounding #disneybounding #disneyprincesses

[crazy-baby909]

I have this planner with these absolutely ridiculous pages with like “motivational” quotes on them that are just these bullshit things like “Let your heart sing” and “Always believe in your dreams”

and like that’s always struck me as such meaningless bullshit, I’ve always hated those. They’ve never had that element that truly motivates me.

So, I took matters into my own hands and I made my own artsy motivational wallpapers. Enjoy.

[crazy-baby909]

not to keep sounding like a Killmonger apologist but like… if T’Challa hadn’t killed him?? this would be such a great time to have a conveniently murderous cousin in the palace basement. “look alive and suit up, asshole. you’ve got anger issues and we’ve got approximately 7000 aliens in the backyard. get to work.” [Okoye yeets Killmonger out a window into the middle of the fight]

[crazy-baby909]

Petition for there to be a Tony Stark cameo in every marvel film after A4 where he’s just chilling while the world goes to shit

[crazy-baby909]

This is literally the most heart warming story I have read on Twitter so far. I think this is exactly what friends should do, and I feel everyone deserves people like this.

[crazy-baby909]

Libraries are one of the few remaining public goods that haven’t been completely privatized and profitized. Libraries are virtually free to the public, regardless of race, class, gender, religion or sexual orientation. And it needs to stay that way. Capitalists need to keep their dirty, grubby little HANDS OFF libraries.

[crazy-baby909]

[crazy-baby909]

“wyd after work”

sleeping for work tomorrow

[crazy-baby909]

life tip whatever dumb ass name you get siri to call you is what your iphone automatically signs your emails as. i have been applying to jobs for 2 months as queef.

[crazy-baby909]

I hope the next thing I get addicted to is taking care of my self and loving my body

[crazy-baby909]