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district7 · 3 years
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district7 · 4 years
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This is one of the single most beautiful pieces of performance art I have EVER seen. It has it’s fist in my chest, wrapped around my heart, squeezing, massaging, and clenching it.
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district7 · 4 years
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Inktober, day 5. I should just name this series, “characters getting frustrated with their s/o’s.” I’ll post 6 later today!
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district7 · 4 years
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So I ship Katniss with Johanna and you can't change my mind
Would I try? I enjoy a well-done Joniss story, as a matter of fact. And from time to time, I even toy with writing one on @dandeliononfire and have worked through several different plots in my ruminations. (But first, alas, I have to complete the WIPS I’ve already devoted so much time to: Geometry and Pasty White Raisin.)
I’m scratching my head as to who you might be, Anon. And why you think I’d want to change your mind? I’d probably enjoy chatting with you. You should DM me sometime.
I am devoted Everlark, sure. But, Joniss is a minor sub-ship of mine. Joniss has been a big BrOTP of mine for years: I enjoy talking meta from the books on them, and I HATE the movies on this point, as I feel they radically fail Johanna as well as her extremely important friendship with Katniss.
This year as I’ve looked at the books anew and thought about Katniss’ various relationships through some of the meta discussions I’ve been a part of, I’ve re-zeroed in on how significant their relationship is for both of them. The movies do a disservice by making Johanna older than she really is, and by COMPLETELY ROBBING them of their friendship and mutual, autonomously-determined dependence in Thirteen. Johanna had been through much worse than Katniss in many ways by the time the 75th rolled around. And she was not much older thank Katniss. Only about four years, give or take a few months. In that regard, if you consider that she watched all of Katniss’ drama unfold during the 74th as an observer, I suspect there were a lot of opinions and beliefs Johanna had about Katniss before the 75th and following. And then you add in the capture and torture by the Capitol, and *really think about what she’s been through*, there was a lot of substance to what Katniss and she did for each other before Katniss finally sneaked herself back off to the Capitol. If you consider that Johanna was really the only close relationship Katniss chose of her own volition (Gale and Peeta were both forced by circumstances, Rue was more a function of seeing her as a version of Prim, Katniss wasn’t close to Madge, and Finnick was less a friend and more a compassionate ally) and was an equal, and that she chose to actually perpetuate that relationship (“She won’t be alone. I’m going to room with her.”), and the way they helped each other through training, there is a really powerful kernel there.
I believe that if Collins had been so inclined to vary from the more-predictble love story between Katniss and Peeta (which, however, was *far* from traditional, considering Peeta breaks just about every mold of “masculine romantic lead” possible and gives us a real, good, selfless person instead of ‘me Tarzan, you Jane’), then at that point in Mockingjay (especially with Peeta not coming out of his hijacking very well), she could have twisted the plot in the direction of Joniss very easily, and still within the larger social issues of war, PTSD, etc. which she was expounding on. I could argue there might even have been a different path for Katniss to find for herself relating to the Rebellion, Coin, and her own future.
Now, grant it, Joniss as an actual ship rather than only a BrOTP is bit newer for me: early this year. And it does fall below Hollstein and Bechloe in the rankings of ships I spend time on. (Just in case you’re shipping Joniss because you’re exclusively wlw and you’re remotely interested in where I rank my ships. Which, of course, you might not be. 😔)
Anyway, like I said: I can’t even venture a guess who you are, if you’re one of my mutuals. You should tell me! Especially if you’re interested in discussing your own thoughts and/or talking meta on Joniss with me!
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district7 · 4 years
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Not gonna lie... coulda edited that post some, tbh. But also not gonna lie, they’re right on.
But, like, also, great starting base for Joniss as a ship.
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(Okay well, actually, she wasn’t tall in the books... But you get my drift. 😏)
That anon-respond about Joniss (different anon here)... In it you mentioned that Joniss was like a bro-otp for you. Doesn't Katniss say it's more like an ally? "Johanna grins, and I feel a slight but significant shift in our relationship. I don't know that we're actually friends, but possibly the word allies would be accurate." And we don't really see much to indicate a friendship at the end of MJ. (Not to argue, just curious.)
Your quote comes from page 235. Katniss might say they are allies, but Katniss misrepresents plenty of things in the Hunger Games, especially when it comes to relationships.  Let the meta commence:
I grant it that MJ doesn’t really come back to their friendship *at the end* of the book, but there are easily readable reasons for why, which I won’t go into here, except to shorthand two of them: 1) Once Peeta is sent to meet up with the Star Squad, the momentum piles behind Everlark, and trying to tag back in on any sort of Joniss friendship at the end would be fat the narrative flow couldn’t really afford at that point. 2) The worst trauma Katniss was going to experience came *after& her time with Johanna. She was utterly broken after that, and we know Johanna broke at The Block. It’s understandable that what had strong beginnings as a friendship would logistically, psychologically, and emotionally not have gotten any more attention as the events as given played out.  That it wasn’t developed further, doesn’t mean that it didn’t have roots that might have grown if circumstances had turned out differently.
Now, back to your quote. Cast your view backwards to 16 (pages 219-221) and it is clear here that already Katniss and Johanna are inclined to be more than simply acquaintence, despite whatever it is Katniss tells herself on 235. (How many times, over and over and over, is Katniss an unreliable narrator in sussing out exactly how much she cares about someone, or what she thinks of them? Peeta is the prime example, but it extends to others. We know that she described Madge as a sort of friend by default, yet when she includes her sensory experiences, there is clearly more there than she is consciously focused on. (For example, when recounting Madge giving her the Mockingjay pin, she observes how she is receiving “gifts” that day. Then, “Made gives me one more [gift]. A kiss on the cheek. Then she’s gone and I’m left thinking that maybe Madge really has been my friend all along.”) Katniss, who does not like to think of things in a flowery or emotional way (except perhaps as it comes to Prim), calls Madge’s kiss “a gift.” There is far more emotion and affection in Katniss towards people than she usually lets herself acknowledge.
This is already true in Chapter 16, before your quote.  We know she is already working to consciously overcome her initial feelings about Johanna to change them. After Johanna “plunks” onto Katniss’ hospital bed and takes Katniss’ IV drip, Katniss tells us, “At first I feel threatened, because she attacked me in the arena. I have to remind myself that she did it to save my life.” Next, she is feeling empathy. “Mind? How can I mind when she was almost tortured to death by Snow…”  She is noticing Johanna’s increased health, “In the weeks…she’s gained some weight back. A soft down of hair has sprouted on her shaved head, helping to hide some of the scars.”  Here, Katniss has focused on two things she refers to from her own intimate, self-sensory experience: Hunger and being fed, and then the “soft down” of hair. When Katniss was groomed for the Games, she referenced her soft, “downy” leg hair, and mourned it’s loss. With other word studies I and others have done in the past, I can’t find it a coincidence that Katniss uses this terminology in taking in Johanna’s person. It’s mirroring, an indication that what she is seeing is affecting her beyond mere observation, but on a personal and emotional one as well. But she’s also choosing to see past the surface to the pain that is still there: “But if she’s siphoning off my morphling, she’s struggling.”
She can “manage a smile” and even have some sarcasm with her (not something you do with a person you feel detached to or removed from), but then she does something kind of NOT Katniss-like: Katniss generally avoids trying to bring up emotions in conversations, especially when it is a conversation about how someone feels about her on a personal level. Here, Katniss run TOWARD the issue. “Is that why you hate me?” Breaking her own rule about exploring this type of issue, she pursues it, even knowing it might start a confrontation, and in so doing is also passively saying, ‘That fact that you don’t like me bothers me.” This is Katniss trying to navigate inter-personal relationship territory. Katniss just doesn’t do that sort of thing. 
Katniss has gone fishing, and Johanna bites. But despite her angry, protective sarcasm, wrapped up in her response on page 221 is a momentous compliment about the nature of Katniss’ character: She thinks Katniss is a genuine person, and selfless.
Only a few seconds later, Katniss returns the favor, with her own heavy compliment by “remind[ing]”Johanna that people recognize Johanna is trustworthy. Being trustworthy is an equally nearly impossible trait to have in the world of Victors and Capitol politics.
On page 227, Johanna is yet again taking comfortable liberty with Katniss’ body space, sneaking up beside her and pinching her arm at the dance, urging her to dance, to show Snow Katniss is still alive and living life.
Page 235, your quote, has more context to it. Katniss has just had a row with Coin over being told she can’t go to the Capitol, unless she wants to train as a solider. She comes back to the hospital and starts complaining about it to Johanna, and they have a friendly, joint-bitching humor exchange where they easily play off of each other. THEN, comes your quote.
Back in the hospital, I find Johanna in the same circumstances and spitting mad. I tell her about what Coin said. “Maybe you can train, too.”
“Fine, I’ll train. But I’m going to the stinking Capitol if I have to kill a crew and fly there myself,” says Johanna.
“Probably best not to bring that up in training,” I say. “But it’s nice to know I’ll have a ride.”
Johanna grins, and I feel a slight but significant shift in our relationship. I don’t know that we’re actually friends, but possibly the word allies would be accurate. That’s good. I’m going to need an ally.”
Just because on the face of it, Katniss says she’s not sure she can call them friends, doesn’t mean they’re not. Despite sitting and having lunch with Madge everyday, she was clueless that Madge cared that much for her until Madge kissed her. Katniss admits her obliviousness, as stated up above. Notice also, Katiss is responding to the other person’s physical sign that they are accepting Katniss. A kiss from Madge. A grin from Johanna.  Maybe this goes back to some theories about Katniss being on the Autism Spectrum, but at any rate, Katniss is definitely sensory rather than intuitive on the MBI scale, and so it makes complete sense she isn’t comfortable within her thinking to begin reclassifying her relationships with people without overt signs. No high school girl (who has been described with zero propensity towards being physically touchy-feely) who barely talks to the girl she has lunch with every day is going to kiss that girl without already knowing in her own mind that she has at least friend-feelings for her. Katniss was the oblivious one. She is the type who will start owning her feelings retroactively once she knows where the other person stands.
Katniss can say she and Johanna are allies on page 235, but the reality is, they were already allies: That’s been established. Now they’re to the point the other person is engaging in sarcastic joking, poking fun (even if it’s somewhat cruel at times), feels comfortable about touching Katniss’ person, and as we hear the tone of how Katniss goes forward to describe her following three weeks with Johanna, it is definitely tinted with the type of observations, interactions, and descriptors one would use with friends.
Here we run through a montage of training. We get the golden phrases “Johanna’s motivational insults” and ‘District 7 profanity.’ She already refers to the hospital room as “our room.” (page 236) She’s actually illicitly saved drugs for Johanna, and not because Johanna has asked her. (page 236) Then, Katniss’ treatment choice means Johanna gets cut off from using Katniss’ morphling, and Katniss apologizes. Johanna, while going through withdrawls ‘waves her off.’ (page 237) Have you ever dealt with someone withdrawing from any drugs? That reaction right there says that Johanna is friends with Katniss. Yeah, Johanna unleashes that profanity at three in the morning, but then at dawn, she’s making sure Katniss gets to training like she needs to.
They are taking care of each other. Mutual. Equal. Half irritation, half humor, all sincere. This isn’t an ally relationship. This is a friend relationship. It’s two people who’d been through a lot of shit, and have gotten to the point of expressing admiration (backasswards as it was) for the other’s character, who not only have the same goals, but want to help the other succeed, despite being both stubbornly independent to the extent they’d probably each have very negative reactions to anyone else who tried to “help” them.
I’m going to draw parallels here to Katniss and Peeta’s time on the train and at the training center in Book One. I did a post once years ago (I can’t find it right now, too lazy), where I pointed out just how quickly Katniss started using collective pronouns for her and Peeta, and how quickly they fell into sync working together. This is exactly what is happening here with Johanna. 
When Johanna says they have to stop living in the hospital because everyone sees them as “patients” (page 238), Katniss points out to the reader:
It’s not a problem for me. I can move into our family compartment, but Johanna’s never been assigned one. When she tries to get discharged from the hospital, they won’t agree to let her live alone… “She won’t be alone. I’m going to room with her,” I announce.
Katniss doesn’t try to move back into her family’s compartment. She immediately volunteers herself to live with Johanna. This is friendship, if you read between the lines. And then, boom, Johanna is looking at Katniss’ personal things, Katniss is okay with it, and by page 238 they’re having a heart-to-hart about the shittiness of life and needing to move on, and then joking with each other:
[She] climbs into the bed across from me just as the lights go out. “You’re not afraid I’ll kill you tonight?”
“Like I couldn’t take you,” I answer.
Then we laugh, since both of our bodies are so wrecked, it would be a miracle if we can get up the next day. But we do. Each morning, we do… Solider York gives the pair of us an approving nod…”
I would even venture to say there’s enough attachment on Johanna’s part (remember, there is ‘no one left she loves,’ they’ve all been killed by Snow; Finnick is her closest thing to a friend), that she may actually be jealous of Peeta as it relates to Katniss. We see in the meal over pages 241-5 Johanna, who should be sympathetic to Peeta given their time being tortured together, appear as if almost actively trying to set off another episode by him, ending with Johanna ‘throwing herself’ across the foot of Katniss’ bed so she can say yet something else negative about Peeta. (Remember her comments back on 220-1 and she called Everlark “tacky romantic drama” following on the heels of self-admitting a certain amount of “jealousy”? Grant it, her jealousy was arguably referencing the fact people are trying to protect Katniss, but if you’ve read my meta from the reread in 2016, I’m big into the theory that SC uses word groupings in pivotal paragraphs and pages especially as it relates to relationships.
Chapter 18 is more training. But then, boom, things screech to a halt on page 253-4. The trainers triggered a massive PTSD/anxiety/panic episode for Johanna in how they programmed The Block. She ends up back in the hospital. Haymitch describes the torture Johanna endured in the Capitol to explain the violence of the episode. Katniss self-describes her reaction as ‘standing there, having lost the ability to respond,’ following which she sorts through her past observations and realizes she has missed the social cues there were red flags about Johanna not being okay. (This might further support the ideas that Katniss is on the IS side of the MBI battery. She lacks the ability to intuitively understand what is really going on with people based on cues others would put together as easily as 2+2.) She also skirts internally verbalizing guilt over not having bothered to gotten to know more about Johanna’s past, that she hasn’t acted like most people would with people they are friends with.
I realize Haymitch says that Finnick and her as as ‘close’ to friends as Johanna’s got, but realize that rather than diminish the idea they are really friends, it simply reaffirms that Johanna’s behavior towards Katniss truly has been beyond the normal, and also that even to someone who isn’t around them for the together-almost-every-minute-every-day relationship they’ve had for the previous weeks, as an outsider he sees there is, in fact, an important relationship bond that has formed.
Katniss’ instant response is to ask Boggs for a “special” favor, and in 254-5 we see her create the pine bundle and take it to Johanna. Notice here, she decides against using the parachute cloth to hold the pine needles, because she doesn’t want something associated with a bad memory. She bring it to Johanna and instructs her to “smell it” (something sensory, a sign Katniss is giving to Johanna the type of sensory comfort she would find soothing), and Johanna says it “Smells like home.”
She lifts the bundle to her nose and takes a tentative sniff. “Smells like home.” Tears flood her eyes.
“That’s what I was hoping. You being from Seven and all,” I say. “Remember when we met? You were a tree. Well, briefly.”
Katniss wanted to remind Johanna of home. There is a deep, deep connection between these two that not only does Katniss instinctively understand by this point, despite what little she’s bothered to accumulate in terms of biographical details, what would comfort Johanna, Johanna is readily able to receive it on the same wavelength.  Also notice, Katniss doesn’t just bring up the whole “You were a tree thing,” as a connector. She brings it up with the, “Well, briefly.”  I’ll leave that to you to think back to what she’s referencing, lol.
This is more than allies. Especially when Johanna demands Katniss swear on her family’s life - on Prim’s life- that Katniss will kill Snow…AND KATNISS DOES.
I think it’s a testament to how powerful that bond has become.
Extreme circumstances can forge deep bonds between people. This is why we see people come back from war life-long, would-do-anything-for their trenchmates that they maybe were with only for a month or two. These two have been through so much. Their dynamic, despite Katniss calling it “allies,” is clearly so much more, that SC spends essentially two whole chapters developing it. There’s humor about death, drugs, sickness, mental health, and nudity, and there’s shared physicality, pain, and empathy.
So this is why I say Johanna and Katniss is my favorite brOTP in the Hunger Games. It is simply that events cast them apart in the chapters to come…
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district7 · 4 years
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The Evergreen Forest by bodylikeabattleaxe
Yes please, and thank you.
...Wish it was a little nicer to Peeta though. Just don’t read chapter 15 and that will take care of it just fine. :)
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district7 · 4 years
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OKay there wasn’t enough Joniss in Mockingjay part.2 tbh
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district7 · 4 years
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they gay
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district7 · 4 years
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Could ypu recommend you favorite joniss fics?
Holy cuss yes! Thanks for asking, you precious human! 
Ok these aren’t in any particular order, but are just some Joniss fanfics that I enjoy! Some might not be completed, but still worth reading in my opinion!
Your Skin and Bones: A joniss classic! Mostly drabbles.
There’s nowhere I’d rather be: An older story, and quite long! Definitely a fave of mine when I first got into joniss. 
You’re Mine: A sickeningly sweet and wonderfully smutty fic, that is pretty long!
Back to You: This one I can’t even properly describe how much I love it oh gosh! It’s super long, and has some really interesting twists at the end, especially with Johanna’s character.
Husking:  A short and smutty classic! A must-read!
The Fire Within : This one is very well written, and very long! A must read, for sure.
Lifeblood:  This is probably my favorite fic atm, and JMI is such a fantastic author, seriously, if you haven’t read this yet, please do so!
There’s No One Left I Love: This is one I read way back when I first started shipping Joniss, so I honestly don’t remember much, but I know I liked it!
Solace in You: Short fic in which Johanna just shows up at Katniss’ house, cute things and smut happens
Hunger Games: Sirens of the Wood : A lengthy and smutty fic. Never completed, however.
Regrets And Mistakes They Are Memories Made: A lengthy emotional roller coaster
Kindling: Ok this one is honestly a bit ridiculous, but sex in the arena is just kinda fun to read
All the Little Things: This one focuses on specific details in their established relationship and is super fluffy
She Doesn’t Say I Love You: This one just gives me so many feelings, just read it, you won’t be disappointed!
This Year’s Girl: Joniss switching bodies! What more could you want?
My Soul to Keep: Never completed, but I really wish it were. Pregnant Johanna shows up at Katniss’ house and they think about what to do. Worth reading just for obtaining headcanons.
Plain Sailing Weather:  A huge fave of mine. Johanna and Katniss in rehab, really great ending. 
To Kill a Mockingjay: A super awesome Harry Potter AU That desperately needs to be updated.
Burn It Down: In which Gale and Johanna are reaped for the 74th hunger games; incomplete.
I Promise, it Won’t Hurt:  Nice, long, and good!
Help: Really good smut, read it, I dare you.
Everyday: Super cute Joniss as a family unit
Loyalty:  Peacekeeper Johanna in district 12
Making a Family:  As the name implies, a short story of Joniss talking about pregnancy
Conversations With Blight:  Mostly just a look into Johanna’s thoughts as she discusses with “Blight” (who is deceased as she talks to him), with some joniss in there.
They Can’t Hurt Me:  Not specifically Joniss, but I enjoy their interaction in it, and the take on Jo’s time in the capital is interesting. Lots of TWs, incomplete. 
The Whipping Post:  Johanna gets whipped and Katniss takes care of her, and it’s sad and sweet
Thanks For the Memories:  Super sad character death. Will rip your heart out.
Running Red: Cold War AU in which Katniss tracks Johanna down and falls in love. Seriously needs to be updated!
We’ve Not Yet Lost All Our Graces:  Really lengthy and well written fic! Definitely read it,
An Evergreen Forest: Takes place a while after Mockingjay, Johanna’s mellower, really cute!
After the Storm: Dealing with some PTSD things, sad and fluffy, and little bit smutty!
In the Arms of the Ocean:  Johanna shows up at Katniss’ house after many years, and they start to reconnect. Incomplete. 
Interlude: Masturbation leads to sexy times (shh I like this)
But You Love Me, Right?:  Super fluff made of sugar
Finding Solace: More mutual masturbation and friendly sex! I really love this one!
The Air’s So Heavy, It Could Drown a Butterfly:  Sad fic involving cancer. Will break your heart.
Her Gorgeousness:  Sex in the forest!
Lullabies:  Joniss trying to start a family (will break your heart)
Hush:  Katniss visits Johanna in the hospital. Features interesting insight into the characters.
if you’re a fire then i wanna burn: Katniss tries to help Johanna get over her fear of water and cute things happen. Contains many drug refs.Waiting it Out: Katniss and Johanna deal with a power outage during a storm! Super cute! Emetophobia warningPost-It Notes: Johanna thinks up ways that her and Katniss need to improve before they have children (I am weak for joniss babies and this fic is cute as HECK)Lost in My Mind: This is a bit different from all the other stories here, as this is an interactive fic! You input commands to play, and it is really neat!
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district7 · 4 years
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Joniss Fancast - The badass & the broken
Mason, Johanna. District 7. Winner of 71st Hunger Games. (Age 17.)
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Everdeen, Katniss. District 12. Winner of the 74th Hunger Games. (Age 16.)
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Soldiers Mason and Everdeen, District 13.
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MOCKINGJAY COULD HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT.
“She won’t be alone. I’m going to room with her,” I announce. Katniss Everdeen, Mockingjay Chapter 17.
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district7 · 4 years
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12.18.19
@lumonafox replied to A Mockingjay Joniss AU - pt. 1: i’ve made up my mind (i’m never going back)
Fuck. This made me feel things. Now you're obligated to tag me in the next chapter. Pretty plese?
I have the second chapter partly done. Maybe once I get some time off for Christmas break I will get it up. Thank you for the reblog and comment.
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district7 · 5 years
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Ouch. Want the part 2.
Kill Them With Kisses - Oneshot
Summary: She doesn’t have time for this. Not for Peeta, not for Gale and certainly not for Johanna. Joniss.
Pairing: Johanna/Katniss
FF AO3
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district7 · 5 years
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Chapters: 24/24 Fandom: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Katniss Everdeen/Johanna Mason Summary:
Johanna Mason always seems to know exactly what I need to hear, and deliver it with such brutal honesty that it can’t possibly be ignored. Maybe she has known me better than anyone else all along.
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district7 · 5 years
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Loyalty, chapter 32: Charisma
“Right in the neck,” she brags, grinning pompously.
I can’t help but whistle. “Damn, girl. You’ve been practicing.”
Katniss shrugs and goes back to squinting into her scope. “Not much else to do in Thirteen when your girlfriend won’t talk to you.”
Turning and giving her a look, I ask, “Is this really what you wanna talk about right now?”
Keep reading on FFN or the AO3.
Old connections and older history come to the forefront as the rebels make a push to end the war in the districts.
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district7 · 5 years
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A Mockingjay Joniss AU - pt. 1: i’ve made up my mind (i’m never going back)
11.11.19 
A Mockingjay Joniss AU - pt. 1: i’ve made up my mind (i’m never going back) 
A Mockingjay AU WIP where Katniss reevaluates whether her best future is a path she had never considered. After Johanna fails the Block, it occurs to Katniss that her future is not pre-destined, that she’s done enough, and that she doesn’t owe any one, or any cause, a suicide mission. 
A/N: There are no promises of quality assurance. Also, I make no promises about updates. (If I add that sort of pressure on myself about it, I’ll end up loathe to work on it.) This will likely hold a lot of things in common with other Mockingjay Joniss AUs, namely a return to District 7 instead of District 12, and an emphasis on the pair helping each other recover set against a backdrop of quasi-homesteading. I make zero assertions POV and tense will stay consistent across updates. This is an adventure in pantsting with a general goal in mind, rather than something I’m pre-plotting.
Feel free to send me constructive witticisms, requests, asks, comments, trolling, whatever.
_______________________
District 13 - Medical
Johanna’s limbs twitched, body emitting a mix of grunts and whimpers. Katniss guessed she was fighting in her sleep.
Or maybe running. The morphling line in her IV was a rifle with vicious recoil. Awake, it tricked you into believing pain was farther away and anxiety quieter than they actually were. Helpful. Maybe. Asleep, it made it harder to wake from the nightmares.
“Jo...” 
Katniss nudged her shoulder with a knuckle, leaning forward out of her visitor’s chair only far enough to breach the edge of Johanna’s medical bed. Best to keep out of the way of swinging arms, if Johanna woke up fighting. “Johanna, wake up.”
In response, Johanna’s grunts and twitches ratcheted in intensity. 
Katniss guessed at what she was dreaming. Maybe fighting mutts while they tried to pull her under water. What kind of mutts might the Capitol design for that? Giant fish with fiery eyes, men’s arms, and children’s hands?  Eels with multiple tails which encapsulate you while the monsters drag you deeper into the pressing blackness, down until you finally have no choice but to gasp in water and drown yourself?
The Capitol and its mutts. 
Katniss tried again to wake Johanna, but she only rolled in her hospital bed, tangling herself and her IV line in her bleached, too-white sheets while letting out a sleep-garbled plea.
Maybe not Capitol mutts, Katniss thought. This happened in The Block, the Rebellion’s own customizable mini-Arena. So, Rebellion mutts. Coin and her well-oiled machine could squeeze and fracture a person every bit as well as Snow and the Games could a Tribute. Less horrific and premeditated, definitely. Better justified, absolutely. Without the evil intent, hopefully.  But they could still do it, all the same.
What was it Peeta had said in that interview? 
Once you’re in the arena, the rest of the world becomes very distant. All the people and things you loved or cared about almost cease to exist. As bad as it makes you feel, you’re going to have to do some killing, because in the arena, you only get one wish. And it’s very costly. It costs a lot more than your life. To murder innocent people? It costs everything you are. So you hold on to your wish.
His wish had been for Katniss to live. Katniss’ had been for him to. And here they were. Everyone, except for Cinna, who she’d gone into the Quarter Quell caring about was somehow, miraculously, still alive. Prim. Her mother. Gale. Haymitch. Effie. Peeta might still be mentally disordered, but at least with her staying away, he was progressing well enough to decorate a wedding cake. 
A wedding cake. That image made Katniss grunt. Finnick and Annie.
It wasn’t just those she cared about before the Quarter Quell who were still alive, it was also those she newly cared about. Those two. Beetee.
Johanna.
Johanna, for whom Katniss had experienced the impulse to volunteer as roommate. The one she’d sidled up to as a training partner. The one whose nightmares and traumas she’d been ready-fit acquaintances with. And also the one whose crass, doesn’t-give-a-fuck facade had gone from infuriating Katniss, when they’d first met, to actually making her laugh.
She sat on the edge of the bed and made one last, forceful attempt to stir Johanna, managing to cajole her onto her back and into wakefulness enough that she blinked with hazy recognition.
“Shit. Can’t a girl sleep without being molested?” Johanna was mumbling, voice rough.
“You were having a nightmare.”
“I can see your face, so clearly I must still be having it.”
“Funny.”
Johanna’s lids drifted shut.
“Have to be good for at least something, brainless, or else these wonderful District Thirteen people might decide it’s not worth the cost-benefit to feed me.”
“You’re good at lot of things,” Katniss joked. “Or at least that’s what you’re always going on to everyone about.”
Still with eyes closed, Johanna’s face pulled a smirk. “And wouldn’t you be lucky to experience every last one of those things, Everdeen.”
Katniss snorted and rolled her eyes. “You’re incredible.”
“Most wait ‘till after to tell me that.”
“You know what I meant,” Katniss corrected, refusing to fall prey to the attempt at embarrassing her. She started untangling the sheet from around the IV as something else to focus on.
Johanna peeked open one eye to watch, then wiggled the rest of her arm free from the bedding as soon as Katniss was done, purposefully floundering it through the air until she thwacked her palm against Katniss’ cheek. She pushed her face away with token force, punctuated by a complaining groan.
“Go a-way. Your sickening goodness makes my ass itch. How’s a mentally disordered person supposed to sleep?"
Katniss managed to huff like she was offended, but when Johanna’s hand didn’t move away from her face, she pulled it down to her lap and held onto it, frowning.
“They’re re-classifying you as that again?”
Johanna’s hand twitched in Katniss’.
“What? No. It’s nothing.”
“Johanna...”
“I’m fine, leave it.”  She yanked her hand free. “Aren’t you supposed to be prepping for an assassination mission right now anyway? Why are you here?”
Katniss frowned again at the abruptly acerbic tone, but she’d built up some resistance to it over time, and was tired herself, so she chose not walk into the trap. She was about to lay her own, anyway, after a fashion.
“You mean the suicide mission?” Her voice was a whisper, and she said it only after looking away from Johanna and picking her cuticles for a few long moments.
“What?” Johanna shimmied up into a sitting position, eyes wide and body instantly tense. “What are you talking about?”
Boggs’ words from a group meeting with Coin weeks before had been revolving through Katniss’ mind for the previous twenty-four hours.
Even if we’re careful, we can’t guarantee her safety. She’ll be a target for every-
He hadn’t gotten to finish, because Katniss herself had interrupted him. But she could definitely fill in the blank herself.
“Think about, Johanna. Because since the Block, I’ve certainly been thinking about it. At best, it’s a mission doomed to fail. At worst, it’s a death sentence. I think I’ve slept less than you in the last forty-eight hours.”
“You promised.” Johanna and pulled her arms tightly around her shoulders to make herself smaller. Triggered into a minor episode, she shook her head non-stop, as if doing so could change the reality of what Katniss had said. “You promised you’d kill him for me. I need him to be dead!”
Katniss sighed loudly and stared up at ceiling, fighting her own frustration as well as Johanna’s. Fighting to keep her voice calm.
“I know. I know I did, Johanna. And he will.“ She put a hand on Johanna’s knee to calm her, only to have Johanna swipe it away. But she went on. “We’ve breached the Capitol. We have forces there. Everyone wants Snow’s head. The Rebellion has come too far to stop, and Coin is going to make sure he ends up dead one way or another. But think about it. I’m not a trained assassin, I’m barely a solider. I don’t have an anonymous face. What chance do I really have? I’m a girl with a rifle and a bow. In the middle of a city decked out with Gamemakers’ traps, thousands of peacekeeper who know my face, and tens of thousands of Capitol citizens ready to raise an alert.” She gave Johanna a grim smile. “Those odds are way higher against than we faced in all of our games combined. And my target? One man on the far side of a war zone, almost certainly sealed away in a well-guarded bomb shelter.”
Katniss gave a weak shrug. “Boggs is right. He didn’t call it a suicide mission out loud, but he knows it is. I’ve been seeing it in his eyes, the hoping that I'd see it for myself.”
“Fuck,” Johanna hissed. “I’m so fucking tired of all this SHIT!”
The sudden screaming brought in the medical staff. Johanna shouted wild curses at them, alarming them all the more, but Katniss eventually talked them into leaving. It took long minutes, but Johanna’s shaking slowly evolved to despondent rocking. And then her chin sank to her chest, followed a moment later by a sniff, and then her dragging an arm across her face to wipe at it. Finally, she gripped her skull and let herself fall back flat onto the bed.
“Jo, I don’t know what kind of a life you want to have when this is over, but I’ve made up my mind. I’m not going back. I’ve done enough. We’ve both done enough. We don’t owe anyone. It’s not selfish: We’ve reached the point where we’re no longer necessary. Coin and the other District Leaders can duke it out; it doesn’t need to be Mockingay business. The only thing I want is to live a quiet life where I know Prim is safe and I can shrink out from under the spotlight. That’s what started this for me. That’s the promise I need to keep. The one I made to her on Reaping Day. That I’d live and come back to her.” She added, “You can’t tell me that at least part of you isn’t interested.”
There was more sniffling, and more face wiping. And a few ragged breaths before there was an exhausted response.
“Do you really believe that’s possible?”
“I think Coin will give it to us. She needs popular Victors around after the Capitol falls like a bear needs bees stinging at its nose when it wants honey. At this stage, my quiet exit might be as tempting for her as it is for me. And face it, from her perspective- If I’m right- if I do go, at best my death makes a good propo, except that it comes at the cost of the Capitol claiming credit for killing me. But if I actually succeeded, she risks me having an even bigger voice in Panem’s future. Considering how we’ve butted heads already, that’s not something she’s likely to want. And that puts not just me, but everyone I care about right back in danger.” Katniss had risked sneaking that train of thought into a whispered conversation with Boggs over that morning’s breakfast.
The look he’d given her had been answer enough.
“For once, I’d like the chance to choose my own fate instead of being manipulated into one.”
Johanna continued to stare up at the ceiling.
“You’re serious about this.”
“I have the bone-chilling feeling I need to be.”
“And so what,” Johanna struggled for the energy to push herself up on her elbows, glaring, “this is you asking my blessing to beg Coin to send you, your family, and lover boy back to Twelve so you can have a guilt-free happily ever after?”
Katniss gave herself time to cycle through a slow breath. Being about to say it aloud made it feel more like killing someone than letting them go. But Johanna was impatient.
“I’m sick of this visit, Katniss. Just say whatever it is and get it over with.”
“Fine.” Katniss sucked in a breath. “Peeta’s a long way from being able to go anywhere without a counselor. Maybe things could be different. In the future, after time passes and he’s better and I don’t feel constantly conflicted over what I should be feeling and how much of that is me over what people keep telling me I feel. And-”
“There goes your self-righteous we-really-love-each-other act, princess.”
“Shut up, Johanna! It’s complicated and you know it. And like I said, maybe things could be different. None of us knows that, though. But what I do know is that neither he or I need that sort of pressure right now, and right now is when I need to make a decision for the people who are still within my reach.”
Johanna relented, begrudgingly.
“If you go back to Twelve, you realize he’ll just end up back there at some point. If you go home, he follows. He won’t be able to help it.”
Katniss hesitated, but then nodded sadly. “I know.”
“Is that what you want?”
Katniss didn’t respond. Instead, after some quiet, she reached over to the nightstand for Johanna’s pine bundle, laying it on the bed. Her fingers lingered on it briefly before withdrawing.
“This was on the floor when I came in. Decided you didn’t like it after all?”
“Probably fell out while I was sleeping.” Johanna picked it up and took a sniff, then kept it at her nose to breathe the scent.
“Had you wanted to go back to Seven when this was all done?”
“I...” Johanna’s shoulders slowly sagged. “I don’t know,” she said simply, expression carefully neutral. “I don’t have anything there. Haven’t for a long time. And I haven’t even been able to picture a world that’s that normal enough to even try thinking about it.”
“Well, do. At this point, the three us of would rather go to Seven with you than back to Twelve.” Johanna narrowed her eyes, surprised. Perhaps suspicious. It didn’t phase Katniss. “Haymitch and Finnick have both agreed to help me make the argument to Coin for us.” And when Johanna only continued to study Katniss, without voicing an objection, Katniss hazarded some levity, "And anyway, you’re practically required to say yes: Prim insists she wants to adopt you into the family.”
“I’m not a fucking pet,” Johanna responded, eventually, but without real heat.
“Whatever you say, lumber-woman.” Katniss chuckled at the dirty face Johanna made at that, before standing to leave. “I think we both know Prim's pretty good at getting what she wants.”
“It should be illegal to be that fucking adorable.”
“Yeah,” Katniss agreed, to be polite. “Okay, well, I’m going to go talk to Haymitch. You aren’t laying a string of profanity down on me, so I’m going to run with it.”
Johanna pulled her knees to her chest, making herself small again.
“What is it?”
Johanna shook her head.
“Come on, Johanna.”
“I... don’t want to get dragged there and then dumped, if you guys don’t like it.” A tear raced down her cheek, then another, which Johanna cursed even as she wiped them away. “I... Fuck, I can’t believe I’m saying this. If you tell anyone, especially that stupid head doctor, that I'm saying this, I’ll rip your spine out.”  The tears were still coming. “But I don’t think I can handle having people and then losing them again.”
Again. The weight of that word settled on Katniss’ shoulders.
She struggled with how to respond, in the end climbing onto the bed and letting Johanna curl into her side.
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district7 · 5 years
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THIS...
Sometimes I remember that Katniss gave Johanna the bundle of pine needles and I just die a tiny bit because aside from it being the best Joniss moment on the planet, it shows that Katniss felt some real serious emotions toward Johanna, which was kind of a big deal given how fucking broken and dead she was in Mockingjay.
Plus, it’s the detail that lends hope to a joniss canon beyond book canon.
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district7 · 5 years
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Johanna grins, and I feel a slight but significant shift in our relationship. I don’t know that we’re actually friends, but possibly the word allies would be accurate. That’s good. I’m going to need an ally.
“Mockingjay” - The Hunger Games. (via eviv)
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