emmy-has-issues

[emmy-has-issues]

i wish i could tell everyone how bad im struggling 

[emmy-has-issues]

hi tumblr. i'm back. it's been a while. since i've been gone here's whats been happening. i got better with my anna. beat it. at the healthiest weight and highest weight i've ever been at. but, i'm the lowest mentally i've ever been. i relapsed last april after 5 years of sh free. and last night i relapsed sh again. less than a year clean. i've been smoking weed at most thrice a week. my boyfriend of almost 6 years (in march) is finally going to therapy. and i'm graduating in may from college with my bs in international trade and marketing. i also have a corporate job. i'm slowly losing it again mentally. asked my bf for a lobotomy for our anniversary and he said no which sucks. if it were the 60s i woulda been given one no problem. but oh well. i miss my best friend mari. its been a little over a year since i saw her last. and josie. she's about to have a fucking baby. at 21. i'm going to be an aunt at 22. jesus christ. well, that's it for now. thank's for reading this if you did.

[emmy-has-issues]

hi tumblr. i'm back. it's been a while. since i've been gone here's whats been happening. i got better with my anna. beat it. at the healthiest weight and highest weight i've ever been at. but, i'm the lowest mentally i've ever been. i relapsed last april after 5 years of sh free. and last night i relapsed sh again. less than a year clean. i've been smoking weed at most thrice a week. my boyfriend of almost 6 years (in march) is finally going to therapy. and i'm graduating in may from college with my bs in international trade and marketing. i also have a corporate job. i'm slowly losing it again mentally. asked my bf for a lobotomy for our anniversary and he said no which sucks. if it were the 60s i woulda been given one no problem. but oh well. i miss my best friend mari. its been a little over a year since i saw her last. and josie. she's about to have a fucking baby. at 21. i'm going to be an aunt at 22. jesus christ. well, that's it for now. thank's for reading this if you did.

#eating disorder #adhd #college #annarecovery #recovery #ed recovery #edrecovery #anna recovery #mental health #depression

[emmy-has-issues]

ROUND 5:

JOE HILLS (3) nominated from Hermitcraft, Beetlejhost, Joemez Addams, UHC

vs

QUACKITY (22) nominated from DSMP, Karmaland, Minecraft Extremo, TFTSMP

[emmy-has-issues]

Philosophy di Lorenzo Serafini Fall 2015

[emmy-has-issues]

here’s a little photo dump

#bikini #bodychex #photodump

[emmy-has-issues]

[emmy-has-issues]

Reem Acra Spring 2017

[emmy-has-issues]

my tiktok has been “shadow banned” and im lowkey pissed off about that. but yanno, thats life at this point

[emmy-has-issues]

The most valuable thing I learned doing a Masters degree with depression, anxiety and ADHD was to change my “things I’m bad at” list to “things I can’t do on my own.” Stop thinking of them as things I could do if I tried hard enough, and accept that I can’t accomplish them by effort and willpower alone; they’re genuine neurocognitive deficits, and if I need to do the thing, then just like a blind person reading or a mobility impaired person going up a storey in a building, I need to find a different method.

I’m “bad at” working on long-term projects without an imminent deadline or someone breathing down my neck? Okay, let’s change that: I can’t work on long-term projects without an imminent deadline and someone breathing down my neck. So let’s create an imminent deadline and recruit neck-breathers. Find a sympathetic prof who will agree that 3 weeks before the due date they expect me to show them my preliminary notes and bibliography. Get a friend I trust to block off an hour to sit with me and keep asking, “Are you working on your project?” Write a blog post about my progress. Arrange to trade papers and proofread them with another student.

Accept your limitations and learn to leverage them, instead of buying the neurotypical fairytale that they’ll go away if you just try hard enough.

[emmy-has-issues]

This is very true. I sometimes do this at work

Floor time babey

[emmy-has-issues]

it’s funny how different i am than when i was in high school. i’ve learned what i want in life and i don’t take what i have for granted anymore.

i could have sworn he was my soulmate. we were so close, everyday we would be together, making each other laugh. he had to move. i was bitter. it didn’t hurt until much more later. i truly believe that i was meant to be with him so i would learn how to be with you without taking you for granted.

another boy, i was only with so i would meet you. this guy had no capability of having a deep conversation about real shit. he has never seen a day of struggle in his life. he thinks being ugly is hard enough lol. it must be weird to think about. what would we even talk about? we would only talk about what he wanted to, do what he wanted, etc. and i truly believe that i was only meant to be with him so he would introduce me to you.

the first one was the worst. i can think of many reasons as to why the universe may have paired me with him at all. maybe to teach me what’s good and bad in a relationship? how to stand up for myself? to have that obstacle between me and success? i honestly, truly don’t know why we were put together. and i don’t understand why there was so much pain behind it. i don’t get why it had to be the way it was, so abusive. so disgusting. i truly believe he was the devil manifesting in my life, and five years later i found my angel.

[emmy-has-issues]

I have a TikTok account with over 41,000 followers. And I just deleted it. Why, you may ask? Well… it is because I hate myself and my anxiety drove me to do it. I think I’m going to make a new one and try to grow a new one. And not let 12-year-olds be who follows me.

[emmy-has-issues]

@emilyyhines or @emilyhiness whichever one you’re active on... STOP BEING TOXIC TO YOURSELF.

[emmy-has-issues]

Lovely. I now have daddy issues ontop of having mommy issues and mental issues. Found out my father is cheating on my mother. He had to go into a drs appointment and i had to drive him. He left his phone in the car. Someone called multiple times to his phone so i amswered and they immediately hung up. I checked his texts bc that person kept texting him and the person named “pete” is actually a woman. Lovely. Idk what to think or do anymore. I’m over it. i need to get the fuck out of my house. I cant be home anymore. I cant.

[emmy-has-issues]

i’m lonely

[emmy-has-issues]

Hey everyone!

Long time no post. I’ve been on a struggle bus and have been only posting to tiktok with makeup videos.

I’ve been working a lot too and with classes starting today I know I won’t be very active.

Here’s an update:

I’m now 110lbs because of my adhd meds, quarantine, and my mothers comments so I have been loosing a LOT lately.

I need to gain. Its very noticeable i lost a lot. Oh well.

See yall in a month or whenever i decide to post again