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In the Spread Eagle

Mary May: So how was your day with Dep today?

Hurk: Yeah today was great but I saw Dep get kidnapped by John.

Mary May: You SAW it?

Hurk: Yeah.

Mary May: And where were you?

Hurk, pointing: I was over on the bench.

Mary May: And what did you do?

Hurk, pointing again: Nothing cause I was over on the bench.

Mary May: But you saw what happened?

Hurk, points again: Yeah cause I was over on the bench.

Mary May: .......So you -- saw what happened and you did nothing?

Hurk, pointing: Yeah cause I was sitting over on the bench.

#source: john mulaney #mary may fairgrave #hurk drubman jr #far cry 5

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In the Bliss

Deputy: Aren’t you glad to see me?

Burke: No.

Deputy, tearing up: ...Well at least I destroy PROPERTY, not FEELINGS.

#source: ? #deputy rook / the judge #cameron burke #far cry 5

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Pre-Eden's Gate at the F.A.N.G Centre

Deputy: What’re you in for? Murder?

Zookeeper, looking at Cheeseburger who the Deputy is talking to: ...He’s not in for anything.

Deputy: So he can leave?

Zookeeper: No.

Deputy: Because he’s in witness protection?

Zookeeper: No.

Deputy: Well then what the fuck is going on, khaki man?

#source: twitter #deputy rook / the judge #far cry 5

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Pre-Eden's Gate

Staci: How come Joey didn’t want us to go with her to meet her parents?

Whitehorse: Well, apparently, she doesn’t want us “embarrassing her” in front of her “uptight parents”.

Deputy, standing up too quick, knocking over a bowl: That’s INSULTING!

Deputy: Oh no! All the orange soda spilled out of my cereal...

#source: brooklyn nine nine #staci pratt #earl whitehorse #deputy rook / the judge #Far Cry 5

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Pre-Eden's Gate

Deputy: The fact that I don’t drink water at this point is just a personality trait, one I’m unwilling to give up.

Burke: ...Can I force you to drink water?

Deputy: Can I force you to exclusively drink Tana Cola?

Whitehorse: Rook... how... are you alive?

Deputy: God isn’t finished with me yet, and never will be.

Staci: Do you ever get thirsty?

Deputy: Tana Cola sates the thirst.

Joey: Tana Cola's main ingredient is water.

Deputy: On God?

Joey: On God.

Deputy: Won’t be drinking Tana Cola again. Much to think about.

#source: tumblr #deputy rook / the judge #cameron burke #earl whitehorse #staci pratt #joey hudson #Far Cry 5

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In John's Gate

John: I started this little pas de deux because I crave the deadliest game...

Deputy: Knife monopoly.

John: ...I was actually going to kill Hudson and then you, but now I’m really interested in whatever Knife Monopoly is...

#source: twitter #john seed #deputy rook / the judge #far cry 5

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In the Helicopter to Joseph's Compound

Deputy: What are boobs but the ass-cheeks of the chest?

Deputy: ...

Deputy: I SAID...”what are boobs but the ass-cheeks of the chest”?

Joey: I KNOW! I WAS IGNORING YOU!

#source: ? #deputy rook / the judge #joey hudson #far cry 5

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Escaping John's Gate

Joey: We have to stay cool. It’s like my mom always used to say: If a cop handcuffs you to a bike rack, there’s always something you can gnaw through.

Deputy: Your mom...always...said that?

#source: the good place #joey hudson #deputy rook / the judge #far cry 5

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In Joseph's Compound

Faith: *sneaks into the church in a huge coat*

Joseph: What’s with the coat?

Faith's coat: *meows*

Faith: ...Drugs.

#source: ? #faith seed #joseph seed #Far Cry 5

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Pre-Eden's Gate

Burke: What did you bring to the table?

Deputy: Last time I worked for you I--

Burke: No, what did you put on my desk?

Deputy: ...You mean my worm?

#source: ? #cameron burke #deputy rook / the judge #Far Cry 5

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In The Helicopter To Joseph's Compound

Staci, shouting over the radio: Attention passengers this is your pilot speaking, we’re about to be experiencing some heavy turbulence shortly so please strap in. Joey just bet that I couldn’t do a 360 barrel roll in this thing and let’s just say that I’m about to be 20 dollars richer real soon.

#source: ? #staci pratt #Far Cry 5

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Pre-Eden's Gate

Deputy, walking into the HCSD: Good morning grandfather figure.

Whitehorse, not even looking up from his file: Good morning problem child.

#source: ? #deputy rook / the judge #earl whitehorse #Far Cry 5

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In The Bliss

Faith: Do you know why I brought you to the bliss?

Deputy: Because I accidentally sent you nudes?

Faith: (stops pouring two glasses of wine) Accidentally?

#source: ? #deputy rook / the judge #faith seed #Far Cry 5

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Pre-Eden's Gate

Police officer: I’m pulling you over for trying to fit 3 people on a motorcycle, licence p--

Deputy: Wait, wait, three?

Police officer: Yes, you, the bearded one, an-

Joey: WHITEHORSE FUCKING FELL OFF

#source: ? #deputy rook / the judge #joey hudson #Far Cry 5 #whats up you fucking lorax im back

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Pre-Eden's Gate

Joey: *Sees someone being stupid in the distance*

Joey: Pfft.. What an idiot

Joey: *Realises it’s Rook*

Joey: Wait, that’s my idiot!

#source: our super adventure #Far Cry 5 #joey hudson

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In The Bliss

Faith Seed: I've got an anagram solver and some cocaine so I'll be fine.

#source: 8 out of 10 cats does countdown #faith seed #Far Cry 5

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In Roughneck's Crag

Gina Guerra: Do you really want to know how I got injured?

Carmina Rye: Yes.

Gina Guerra: I was hula hooping. Hurk and I attended a class for fitness and fun.

Carmina Rye: Oh my god.

Gina Guerra: I’ve mastered all the moves: the pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie-doodle.

Carmina Rye: Why are you telling me this?

Gina Guerra: ...Because no one will ever believe you.

Carmina Rye: You sick son of a bitch!

#source: brooklyn nine nine #gina guerra #carmina rye #far cry new dawn