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flowersandstems · 1 month
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Gonna scream oh my Gd
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flowersandstems · 1 month
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REVENGE OF THE MUPPETBIRD
hello we here at bunjywunjy dot tumblr dot com would like to wish you good evening, and inform you that it’s time to talk about weird animals once again.
this time, we’re investigating a creature of the air, rather than the deep sea. everyone put your hands together for the Potoo, a bird(?) which looks like it was designed by Jim Henson.
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let’s recite our ABC’s, children! remember, ‘A’ is for ‘AAAAAA WHAT IS THAT’
found throughout Central and South America, the Potoo is a nocturnal predator related to Nightjars. since it lives mainly off very small insects, its head is mostly mouth.
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go ahead and stick a finger in there it’ll probably be fine
since these birds(?) are nocturnal, they spend most of the day sleeping. because they don’t nest, being a bunch of deadbeat nightmare muppets, they use camouflage to hide in plain sight while they do.
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I SEE YOU JUST FINE. GET A JOB, ASSHOLE. 
when I said Potoos don’t nest, I meant, like, at all. ever. they’re such career deadbeats that they lay their eggs directly on branches and rotten stumps, like so
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yeah just leave it there it’ll probably be fine. probably don’t pay child support, either.
if the egg survives, the chick has many weeks of getting force-fed dead bugs by its loser parents to look forward to
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dad, stop pretending to be a branch I’m hungry. dad? DAD.
well, that about wraps it up for this BioTime Adventure. a final lesson we can take from our friend the Potoo is that you can escape any problem if you can convince it you’re a dead branch.
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I haven’t paid rent in 17 years
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flowersandstems · 1 month
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I'm just saying, if there's a curse that runs along your family line and you don't tell your kids about it, how the hell are they supposed to go on a quest to stop it?
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flowersandstems · 1 month
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flowersandstems · 8 months
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“My wife’s horse has a problem with flies bothering his leg wound so she harnessed her Doctoral degree and fashioned him jean suspenders…”
(Source: Ben Voytas)
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flowersandstems · 8 months
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hi would you like to see something wonderful
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flowersandstems · 10 months
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The name of this creature is YOTAcat or POTOOcat.
This creature is a combination of Yotaka (potoo) and cat.
His true identity is one of an alien reconnaissance unit that plans to invade the earth.
His body can change its shape at will by copying other creatures and objects.
When he came to Earth, he first tried to copy the appearance of the planet's main life form.
However, the first thing he saw there was a cat. He decided that the creature was the main life form and tried to copy the cat's form.
However, by some accident, he also copied the information of Potoo, and his body became a chimera of cat and Potoo.
What was even more unexpected for these aliens was that once they copied the earth creatures, the original spirit invaded their psyche.
His spirit was about to be taken over by cats and POTOO!
The human who found the strange creature brought it home out of curiosity. Not knowing it was a vicious alien.......
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flowersandstems · 1 year
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idk who needs to hear this rn but suffering is not noble. take the tylenol
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flowersandstems · 1 year
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i went to a tiny counterserve diner once and accidentally poured sugar instead of salt all over my hashbrowns and was eating them sadly anyways. the waitress took them away and started making me another one and I tried to protest, but she just snorted and said "we're not catholic here". now every time i'm doing something painful out of obligation i think about how that is not repenting, this body is not a catholic establishment, there is no nobility in suffering.
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flowersandstems · 1 year
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let's hear it for 100% platonic love. friends, both in-person and online, who remind you how fucking fun and exciting and beautiful the world can be. siblings and cousins and sometimes parents or grandparents or aunts or uncles who stick by you and support you when you're feeling low. strangers who show you unexpected kindness, or to whom you have showed the same. artists you'll never meet whose work helped you better meet yourself.
all too often, pop culture tells us that the only satisfying ending is one neatly tied up with a romantic bow, but there are a million ways to love out there, and a lot of them are really fucking great!
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flowersandstems · 1 year
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Idea: sew some cute little moths with scrap fabrics and sew them on holes you have on your clothes so you can keep wearing them :)
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flowersandstems · 1 year
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i hate that every time i look for color studies and tips to improve my art and make it more dynamic and interesting all that comes up are rudimentary explanations of the color wheel that explain it to me like im in 1st grade and just now discovering my primary colors
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flowersandstems · 1 year
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Days since the Brits were at it again: 0
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flowersandstems · 2 years
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so i just found out that bats can purr, so does that mean vampires can also purr? like Imagine a vampire just like cuddling with their partner and they just start purring
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flowersandstems · 3 years
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Hello, all! The Bitchin Witchin applications are opening again!
Join our small community of traditional witchcraft and folk practitioners!
What is The Bitchin Witchin?
The Bitchin Witchin is a 18+, pub themed, application based traditional witchcraft and folk practitioner/magic server designed to be a place for those practicing or interested in practicing to join, relax, talk, etc. We are lgbtq+, bipoc, etc friendly and welcome those interested to join!
To join, follow the link and fill the Google form below! I hope to see some new faces soon!
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flowersandstems · 3 years
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I love being an adult because you know what actually happens when you run your car into a curb and scratch up the bumper?
Nothing. You get it fixed, or you don’t. Whatevs.
You know what actually happens when you are depressed or sick or on your period and don’t cook dinner?
Nothing. You still get to eat something, nobody scolds you, it doesn’t have any real bearing on your future success, and you don’t get soft shunned for a week by your family.
You know what actually happens when you break stuff, forget stuff, get sick, fall asleep, are rude, miss a flight, don’t know how to do XYZ thing on fixing cars or canning food or whatever, lose things, get lost because you can’t read a map and forgot to charge your phone, buy the wrong groceries, plant the wrong plants, not make your bed, make your bed wrong, jump on your bed, sleep on your bed, eat crackers in your bed, have emotions literally anywhere?
Nothing.
Nothing happens.
No one is mad.
No one can hurt you, and if they do there are laws saying they can’t and that it’s an actual crime with legal consequences.
All there are are outcomes and different paths and different problems and different situations and you just bumble your way forward into dealing with those and that’s it. That’s the whole thing. It’s not the wrong choice, having problems isn’t indicative of your inherent badness or inadequacy or lack of applying yourself. It’s just life, and it’s happening to literally everyone.
I’m not even kidding.
You just do stuff and nothing bad happens. Walk around existing? Nothing bad will happen. Wild.
You can cry. In public. And the most likely outcome is not that you will get taken away to receive the beating of your lifetime, it is that people will mostly ignore you and some will be kinder to you. 🤯
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flowersandstems · 3 years
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Was just informed by my mom that I do in fact have ADHD and the reason I thought I didn’t was because ever since I was seven whenever I got super energetic my mom would have me go chop wood so now when I’m feeling The ADHD I go chop wood and I thought it was just some sort of routine I started when I was little and wanted to blow off steam
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