gothpurplerose

[gothpurplerose]

the way you are

let's talk about the struggles of being different +more 

I have always felt different i always wanted to be something i'm not for example i’m black/dominican at the time all i saw were lighter characters  on tv and  you know white barbies but i always had at least one black barbie i never really saw characters like me who had hair like me but yeah my family is black and stuff but i wanted and wondered why my doll didn't have the same skin color as me and why no characters looked like me i started to hate my hair and wanted it straight like all the other girls and i wanted long blonde hair like other little girls i saw but i also wanted to be lighter you know but as i got older i started wanting to be lighter even more when i was around ten i got hit hard with that feeling i got called dark or too dark and it hurt but now that im older im ok with my skin color and i love it a little more but i do need to love my skin a lot more i got locks when i was 10 and i still have them 3 years later although i felt when i first got them that i didn't like them but now i love them i love my locks sure getting them twisted kinda sucks because i’m tender headed but my locks have gotten long the past 3 years i've had them i even dyed them purple but what i don’t like  is when people compare my locks to viking dreadlocks  because viking  dreadlocks are soo different i wash my hair and my locks aren’t knots and i twist my hair viking dreadlocks are when people who aren't black dont wash there hair and dont brush it and it becomes knots in there hair that also leans into cultural appropriation and assuming but that’s another story i really don’t like like when people just touch my hair and there reasoning for it is “ it's just so different “

or “ i've never seen this type of hair” i don’t like when people touch my hair or when people ask if i wash my hair omg! yes i wash my hair just because i’m black and have locks does not mean i don’t wash my hair i wash my hair like you wash your hair i just can't wash my hair everyday because i don’t wanna lose my oils in my hair if i wash my hair everyday it will dry out my hair but i remember when i was 9 i was the line leader and this boy i still go to school with stuck his nose in my afro i had a afro for a little bit when i was 9 but he stuck his nose in my hair and  said “ sniff sniff “ “ your hair smells so sniff sniff ” “good” i was in shock ok i was shocked you could see my eyes widen as i heard him sniffing my hair and the night before my mom oiled my hair lol now on a different note i use to have a big problem with my style like when i was a baby to 8 years old for as long as i can remember my mom use to always pick out my outfits and dress me up she loved it my mom loves fashion and everything to do with shoes clothes and makeup my mom has sooo much clothes and alot like alot of shoes and clothes but she does love makeup once i started to dress myself i wore a lot of flannels i mean a lot i never thought i would end up looking and having the style i have now i use to be emo when i younger then punk but when i started thinking and researching over the past 5 years i summed it up with im goth i love the music and subculture although some might say “ you can't be goth your black” well i can be goth goth has no color there’s a lot of black goth’s you don't have to be a certain skin color to be goth but yeah i got the goth stereotypes to be goth you don’t have to be sad or depressed it's all about the music and some clothing but i love dark colors not because i’m goth but because there pretty to me now how i see the gothic subculture is there’s goth,emo,alternative,scene but i love makeup and i wear makeup everyday i find it so fun hopefully i can show off my makeup looks in the future. 

#black girl #goth #loveyourself #makeup #growing up