grison-in-space

[grison-in-space]

Affordance Widths

Okay. There’s a social interaction concept that I’ve tried to convey multiple times in multiple conversations, so I’m going to just go ahead and make a graph.

I’m calling this concept “Affordance Widths”.

Let’s say there’s some behavior {B} that people can do more of, or less of. And everyone agrees that if you don’t do enough of the behavior, bad thing {X} happens; but if you do too much of the behavior, bad thing {Y} happens.

Now, let’s say we have five different people: Adam, Bob, Charles, David, and Edgar. Each of them can do more or less {B}. And once they do too little, {X} happens. But once they do too much, {Y} happens. But where {X} and {Y} starts happening is a little fuzzy, and is different for each of them. Let’s say we can magically graph it, and we get something like this:

Now, let’s look at these five men’s experiences.

Adam doesn’t understand what the big deal about {B} is. He feels like this is a behavior that people can generally choose how much they do, and yeah if they don’t do the *bare minimum* shit goes all dumb, and if they do a *ridiculous* amount then shit goes dumb a different way, but otherwise do what you want, you know?

Bob understands that {B} can be an important behavior, and that there’s a minimum acceptable level of {B} that you need to do to not suffer {X}, and a maximum amount you can get away with before you suffer {Y}. And Bob feels like {X} is probably more important a deal than {Y} is. But generally, he and Adam are going to agree quite a bit about what’s an appropriate amount of {B}ing for people to do. (Bob’s heuristic about how much {B} to do is the thin cyan line.)

Charles isn’t so lucky, by comparison. He’s got a *very* narrow band between {X} and {Y}, and he has to constantly monitor his behavior to not fall into either of them. He probably has to deal with {X} and {Y} happening a lot. If he’s lucky, he does less {B} than average; if he’s not so lucky, then he tries to copy Bob’s strategy and winds up getting smacked with {Y} way more often than Bob does.

Poor David’s in a situation called a “double bind”. There is NO POSSIBLE AMOUNT of {B} he can do to prevent both {X} and {Y} from happening; he simply has to choose his poison. If he tries Bob’s strategy, he’ll get hit hard with {X} *AND* {Y}, simultaneously, and probably be pretty pissed about it. On the other hand, if he runs into Charles, and Charles has his shit figured out, then Charles might tell him to tack into a spot where David only has to deal with {X}. Bob and Adam are going to be utterly useless to David, and are going to give advice that keeps him right in the ugly overlap zone.

Then there’s Edgar. Edgar’s fucked. There is *NO AMOUNT* of behavior that Edgar can dial into, where he isn’t getting hit HARD by {X} *and* {Y}. There’s places way out on the extreme - places where most people are getting slammed hard by {X} or slammed hard by {Y} - where Edgar notices a slight decrease in the contra failure mode. So Edgar probably spends most of his time on the edges, either doing all-B or no-B, and people probably tell him to stop being so black-and-white about B and find a good middle spot like everyone else. Edgar probably wants to punch those people, starting with Adam.

In any real situation, the affordance width is probably determined by things independent of X, Y, and B. Telling Bob to do a little more {B} than Adam, and Charles to do a little less {B} than Adam or Bob, is great advice. But David and Edgar need different advice - they need advice one meta-level up, about how to widen their affordance width between {X} and {Y} so that *some* amount of {B} will be allowed at all.

In most of the situations where this is most salient to me, {B} is a social behavior, and {X} and {Y} are punishments that people mete out to people who do not conform to correct {B}-ness. A lot of the affordance width that Adam and Bob have would probably be identified as ‘halo effects’.

For example, let’s say {B} is assertiveness in a job interview. Let’s say {X} represents coming across as socially weak, while {Y} represents coming across as arrogant. Adam probably has a lot going for him - height, age, socioeconomic background, etc. - that make him just plain *likeable*, so he can be way more assertive than Charles and seem like a go-getter, *or* seem way less assertive than Charles and seem like a good team player. Whereas David was probably born the wrong skin color and god-knows-what-else, and Edgar probably has some kind of Autism-spectrum disorder that makes *any* amount of assertiveness seem dangerous, and *any* amount of non-assertiveness seem pathetic.

There’s plenty of other values for {B}, {X} and {Y} that I could have picked; filling them in is left as an exercise for the reader.

Does this make sense to people?

[grison-in-space]

It's because you only get notes from reblogs that directly respond to your original post, and even just a reblog with new tags is enough to break that chain. I think there might be a notifications feature now, but I freely admit that I mostly just hunt down discussions I find interesting periodically and dig through the notes.

girl im bored lets browse academic articles

[grison-in-space]

I get that the larger I/P historical situation is tremendously complicated. But the current situation seems pretty straightforwardly simple. This war - the actual, current issue - is accomplishing nothing except piling up corpses. It's accomplishing nothing for Israel, even! It's mostly accomplishing keeping Netanyahu in power, and also ensuring that Trump gets reelected in the Fall. It's not complicated, it's just bad and counterproductive and going to get a lot more people killed.

I'm sorry, did I say this war was great at any point when I was sketching out why things are complicated? In some way did I leave you with the impression that Israel's actions here are good and that I support them? Do you sincerely think I am saying that the current state of affairs is just fine actually rather than a godawful morass of competing egos, generational trauma on all sides, and, yes, incredibly counterproductive reactions resulting in more deaths for everyone?

What I'm saying is that a complex situation is not simple to fix. We need a ceasefire, but a ceasefire will only ever be temporary until and unless people actually reckon with the reasons that extremism of any stripe feels safe and appealing to groups of people with generational trauma.

#israel palestine #geopolitics #cannot fucking emphasize enough how much friendly fire leaves real wounds too #so aim your actions carefully and wisely so you know what you hit

[grison-in-space]

this may shock the viewer but I actually do prefer the temporary violence the bourgeoisie will suffer in the event of a revolution over the unending and worse violence the working class suffers every day just to maintain the status quo

[grison-in-space]

The last three digits of your current follower count is the Dewey Decimal Classification subject on which you must immediately give a 15-minute presentation.

How would you do?

#497 north American native languages #yeah I'm fucked #i can talk a little bit about the orthography of written Cherokee I guess #and some of the north american sign languages like PSL #I suppose I could talk about the impact on American place names too maybe and the way that tribal names get stuck #but it's not going to be a presentation I'm going to feel great about

[grison-in-space]

weird little brain tweak/reframing that helped me out. i Often find that advice that seemingly helps Everyone Else doesn’t make any sense to me, in ways that are hard to describe, and it can be really frustrating. but when i find a way to explain it to myself that finally seems to break through and make it click, it feels really good

#excellent advice

[grison-in-space]

#it's true #if it's laugh or cry well #you can laugh and keep staggering on #crying is for telling people you need help. stress becomes trauma when you learn that asking for help doesn't actually yield any #but crying makes you sit for a while #and at a certain point of the Stressors you can't afford to sit and cry #so you learn to laugh instead. sometimes a little hysterically. because if you're laughing you can limp forwards on your own at last #people like a struggling person who laughs. you're not asking them for anything. they can laugh and keep going on. maybe they'll help later. #crying becomes what you do in quiet when the grief rips out of you #when laughter fails and all that's left is pain

[grison-in-space]

Hmmm, my dash did a thing. I feel like "hazmat" should be Hazard's "place" blanket.

🤣unfortunately his place cue is "park it" which i like enough to not want to change it

#omg #laugh rule

[grison-in-space]

For anyone who hasn't seen them before, Hidden Search Operators are handy tricks you can use when you're either searching or filtering AO3.

summary: string is a generic way of explaining that you can search AO3 for a specific word that appears in a summary. You can do this from the search bar in the header, from the Any Field box at the top of the Advanced Search form, or from the Search Within Results box at the bottom of the filter menu.

Examples:

summary: Bruce

summary: "Bruce Banner"

summary: Bruce OR summary: Banner OR summary: Hulk

You need to put quotation marks around your search term if it is more than one word. The quotes make sure that the site searches for those two words together.

The other two operators listed work best in the Search Within Results box.

expected_number_of_chapters: 1 will return results where every fic has only 1 chapter currently posted.

You can use expected_number_of_chapters: -1 if you want results where every fic has more than 1 chapter currently posted.

otp:true will return results where there is only 1 relationship tag on the fic. If you want results where there are 2+ relationship tags (and no fics with only 1 relationship tag) then you can use otp:false

[grison-in-space]

yes, and: I will not be offended when they find me to be cringe: rather, I will lean gleefully into my embarrassing unhipness and terrible dad jokes until they squawk, and then I will continue to love them for being in the middle of learning and growing.

It doesn't scan with the original, that, but there's the meat of it.

I must not mock Gen Alpha. Mocking Gen Alpha is the mind killer. Mocking Gen Alpha is the little-death that brings total generational solidarity obliteration. I will engage with Gen Alpha lovingly. I will permit them to be cringe. And when they grow up I will turn my eye to their accomplishments. Where mocking has gone there will be nothing. Only generational solidarity remains

[grison-in-space]

What did the UK have to do with the Rwandan genocide? AFAIK it was under German control, then handed over to Belgium after WWI, and then wound up as part of the French sphere of influence post-independence. I can imagine the UK was involved in the broader geopolitical decisionmaking around it, since it was the leading imperial power for much of that time, but was there something obvious I'm missing?

You know what, you're totally right--I mashed up Rwanda in my head with Idi Amin's regime in Uganda, which was down to the British Empire. Consequences of talking off the dome! Rwanda was, as you point out, a German and then Belgian job, with more of the formalization of the racism and divides between Hutu and Tutsi people happening under Belgian direct rule and the formation of that division under the earlier German aegis.

Sigh. Let that be a lesson to everyone that brain farts happen to us all, which is why you should always cross-check anything that matters no matter how much you trust the source.

#history #brain shit #neurodivergence #this is why *anything* I'm writing formally gets checked with a direct look at whatever I'm citing before getting released into the wild #tumblr on the other hand is me with my hair down which means sometimes I do make mistakes #which reminds me I have to finish up that other draft responding to the request for sources on another post...

[grison-in-space]

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

A fucking fork?

I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.

People eat burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.

(Source)

#laugh rule #an oldie but a goodie

[grison-in-space]

She sat in the car while I ran errands...

[grison-in-space]

*points* this is why I'm being pretty quiet right now, because this situation is quite fucked up enough without trying to stick my dick in it, too.

I make one exception, which is to flip off the British--because the mess surrounding the Balfour Declaration, in which within three fucking years the British promised the region to both Arab-nationalist groups within Palestine and to Jews and also, secretly, declared its own control over the area while partitioning up the Ottoman Empire with France. At no point did it actually tell any of these parties what they were doing or communicate directly about any of the others. Essentially, what it did was lie to Arab nationalist groups about its intentions to hand the region over to them in exchange for WWI support, secretly claim to a peer and ally that it intended to retain control over the region, and then seize on the area as a great place to stick all those inconvenient Jews without having to, like, keep or aid any of them itself.

I cannot emphasize enough how incredibly at fault the British Empire is for huge swathes of this mess as it relates directly to Palestine. (I also cannot emphasize enough how much the British Empire lying to other groups in similar ways when it was convenient to themselves outright created helpful little imbroglios like the Rwandan genocide later on. And that was in a region where there weren't hugely long-standing conflicts or massive bad feelings between various parties before the British Empire swanned on in.)

It's not so much that that fixes things now, you understand. It's not as if England the UK has exactly covered itself in geopolitical glory in the subsequent century or anything. But while we're arguing about who is colonializing whom and why, I do think it is incredibly important to understand and recognize that there is in fact a single group who took this incredible powderkeg of a situation and made it unspeakably worse as a direct function of their colonialist interests and project, and I think we should also be keeping that in mind. Decolonialization doesn't mean that we all just immediately forget about previous colonial occupation and let the literal colonial powers get off without comment.

(Also to the influence of American Dominionist conservative evangelicals and fundamentalists making absolutely everything worse in perpetuity, because it suits their apocalyptic vision of heavenly rapture to see Jews entangled in perpetual war in the Middle East. I am not joking about this, and this group has also been directly inflaming tensions in the region for decades.)

You know how they say, in a chaotic, tense situation, look for the helpers to understand what to do? Well, I think it is fair to insist that anyone who wants to declare the obvious answer to Israel/Palestine relations also look for the harm sources closer to home and start interrogating what we intend to do about those, too. If the solution to Israel and Palestine is so easy and clear, surely resolving Dominionist theology and its direct impacts at home should be equally clear and obvious. Right? Right?

Conversation between me, and another high educated Jewish women whose opinions I respect

Her: What's missing here are the facts. If we stuck to the facts there wouldn't be so much intensity surrounding this issue. Me: But you and I are both highly educated Jewish women, and we can't even agree on the facts regarding the history of Palestine as a place name, ethnic identifier, and nation. If we can't even agree on those facts, how on earth can facts help anyone move forward?

There's the question. Not just for Jews, but for everyone involved in, or concerned with this conflict. How do we move forward if multiple sides of the room dispute the veracity of such basic statements as:

-Jews are a globally oppressed minority ethnic group, the hatred of which is deeply embedded in Western thought and rhetoric.

-The Naqba was a period of ethnic cleansing in which the government and military of the new State of Israel expelled Palestinian Arabs from their homes and property; a dispossession and a series of events which continue to traumatize and negatively impact the lives and livelihoods of Palestinians.

-The Holocaust was a traumatic event in the history of the Jewish people, the legacy of which is embedded in the psyches, world views, and collective trauma of the Jewish people, and invariably impacts how this group views global issues.

-Palestinian Arabs had a full developed sense of identity and statehood before the British Empire fucked off, and made their discomfort with increasing Jewish emigration clear to the British before the outbreak of the Second World War.

-Jews had nowhere to go before, during, or really, after the Holocaust; and the governments of many Arab States ethnically cleaned their own ancient Jewish communities in retribution for the creation of the State of Israel.

-The State of Israel does not exist because the Holocaust happened, or as an "apology" for said event.

THIS POST COMPRISES A SERIES OF RHETORICAL QUESTIONS MEANT TO MAKE US APPRECIATE THE DEPTHS OF THE DISCURSIVE PROBLEMS HERE; NOT A POST FOR "DISCOURSE" AND HATEFUL, AGGRESSIVE SHIT.

If you feel you have to do that, copy & paste into your own separate post.

#israel #palestine #geopolitics

[grison-in-space]

She's a big fan of the grass

#look at that blissed out little face

[grison-in-space]

i saw a post on twitter by a european saying americans are fake for their random compliments to strangers and their general cheery demeanor and like no. no no no you don’t understand. if you get a random compliment from an american on the street about your outfit or whatever, that is 100% genuine. we mean it. we aren’t lying we are making a small but fleeting connection with you because our lives are shitty but the human condition is enduring. oh god i’m clutching my chest

[grison-in-space]

Yesterday, Tribble had a dental to remove one cracked carnassial tooth which turned into removing twelve teeth with cracked roots and root fragments (!) and also a gingival mass (!!) underneath her crappy ass incisors. (Vet thinks it's probably a function of gingival irritation but the mass has been fully excised and sent for pathology anyway; I'll hear back about that one in a week or so but I'm trying not to worry about it.)

I suddenly suspect I know a lot more about why Tribble has always been a reluctant chewer and biter. Dammit. (My vet assured me that she'd had no idea until she had to X ray her jaw to find all the fragments of the carnassial, but I still feel bad.)

Anyway, it's Tribble's thirteen birthday / twelfth gotcha day next week, and I am plotting birthday mush recipes. None of that is the problem.

The problem is that Matilda is Worried.

She was fine until Tribble came home sore and bloody mouthed and tired, at which point she insisted on carefully sniffing Tribble from nose to tail, several times over, and then checking over her periodically for the rest of the evening. Tibbs did not want to go alongside for the first couple of trips outside because she's sore, and Matilda kept going back to stare intently at her and make unhappy noises while Tribble sulked and ignored her.

Okay. Mildly annoying for everyone, but okay.

Except that at bedtime, Matilda fretfully woke up humans every goddamn hour or two to check on Tibbs. You know. In case we could fix it, or we didn't know. If Tribble was distressed that would have been one thing, but she just slept through it on her cozy heated orthopedic bed.

At one point, I am informed, she was offered Ball in case that was what she wanted, but no: she wanted to go make sure Tribble was okay. Ball is the highest reward in her universe at the moment, so that was... significant.

I'm glad you care, Matilda, but oh my fuck I am so tired

#Tribble #12 years #Matilda #1 year #australian cattle dog #boston boxer #Benton is also Concerned but he trusts that we'll figure out what to do if we can #Matilda believes we can fix it but is convinced we don't know what needs fixing #on the upside this does make me feel better about their ongoing relationship #ps matilda is in fact in that photo #you can see her horrible worried little face in the back