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Statements I would absolutely love to see:
Person has grudge on inanimate object. This takes over their life.
Itching
My house hates me oh god oh god
My computer is fucking BLEEDING
I keep causing people's deaths and I don't know why I swear it's accidental
Trapeze artist dies falling from the trapeze over and over again
Teeth
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Jet from atla is so funny bc like, he's fighting zuko and taunting him being like "bet you wanna use some fire instead of those swords, dont u fireboy" which is a funny thing to say to a guy who is clearly very eager to fight using swords
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gender is a performance and im getting heckled by those old gay muppets
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new ref for an ox i adopted. he has such a good design
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WHY????
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“Made ya look!”
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A group of axolotls should be called an axolotalotalotalotalotalotl.
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one of my classmates just confidently said with his whole chest that gandhi was british.
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btw i think if you tried to explain politics to Winnie the Pooh he wouldn't really get it & then if you went on explaining he'd be like 'why can't we all just be nice to each other' and you'd be like you got me there Pooh. I just don't know. :(
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Look it's not my fault Take a Hint from Victorious is such a fucking bop, or that Jade and Tori are genuinely an iconic ship.
I did not have "potential hyperfixation on tween Nickelodeon sitcoms I've technically never watched on my own" on my bingo card for this year but.
Here we are.
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she put her paw on my foot and started purring
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” I don’t go here but…” is such a cool tag to get idc idc. You don’t know what I’m talking about but you like it anyways? Let’s make out
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Wait. Guys, if Miss Holloway is trans she won the trans lottery. No one can remember her dead name.
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Me @ everyone rn:
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Dracula daily starts in just a couple weeks!
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