ironychan

[ironychan]

I don't actually want to get out of bed because then I'll find out.

Well, I wonder what fresh bullshit awaits today.

[ironychan]

Painted Bunting (Passerina ciris) male, family Cardinalidae, order Passeriformes, Cóbano, Costa Rica

photograph by Javier Chaves Alvarado

#dinosaurs

[ironychan]

Well, I wonder what fresh bullshit awaits today.

[ironychan]

Marvel has teamed up with Bandai Spirits for a new Avengers miniseries, Tech-On Avengers, a “tokusatsu-inspired action-adventure comic series featuring stellar new armor designs for some of Marvel’s most iconic heroes and villains.” It’s by Jim Zub and Jeff “Chamba” Cruz.

Read more

#iron man

[ironychan]

Chameleon tail (Furcifer pardalis)

Photo by Alex Hyde

#adorable small reptile blogging

[ironychan]

Before I begin, I need to note that this happened in the 6th century AD, so the details are a little hazy. Anyway.

Purpley was probably a sperm whale (probably. Like I said, this was a millennium and a half ago and the people who wrote this all down were not whale experts). Sperm whales generally aren't found in the eastern Mediterranean and the Black Sea, but Purpley somehow made their way to the Bosporus, and there they found their true porpoise in life: single-flipperedly bringing the Byzantine economy to its knees.

If you're interested in ancient and/or medieval European history (this period kinda straddles that junction), you probably know that Byzantium/Constantinople/Istanbul was incredibly wealthy because it controlled the water route between Europe and Asia. Before the invention of railroads and airplanes, there was literally no way to move large cargoes around efficiently except by sea. If there's only one strait and you're in charge of it, congratulations, you rule the world! Except, of course, when nobody wants to use the strait because of the nonzero probability of meeting a pissed-off whale.

You see, Purpley hated boats. With a passion. And they had decided their mission was to destroy as many boats as cetaceanly possible.

Because there was no other route, trade just... stopped. If your business depended on goods from Asia like silk or cinnamon or frankincense, you were fucked. It didn't matter if you lived in Constantinople or as far away as Britain or Spain. The city was hemorrhaging money. The emperor, Justinian the First, sent warships out to try to kill Purpley or chase them out of the strait, but the Byzantines had no experience hunting whales so all that happened was Purpley rammed and sank them too.

This went on intermittently for fifty years. Imagine if it took fifty years to get the Ever Given out of the Suez Canal.

Sadly, Purpley's end was not a glorious one. They accidentally beached themself while chasing dolphins and were hacked to pieces by an angry mob. Still, it's not often than an individual animal gets the name we gave it into the history books, so pour one out for Purpley. They'd be glad to know that some of their fellow Mediterranean odontocetes are carrying on their boat-hating legacy to this day.

I need to cheer myself up. Who wants to hear about Purpley the Anti-Establishment Whale?

#cetacean needed #also spare a thought for justinian who had to deal with riots volcanoes and black death on top of this thing with the whale #dude had a stressful reign #weird historical episodes

[ironychan]

I need to cheer myself up. Who wants to hear about Purpley the Anti-Establishment Whale?

[ironychan]

I'm so annoyed about all this. I want to go out into the middle of the wilderness and scream until I pass out.

[ironychan]

In case yall missed that, she threw a pissfit and quit because she got a day off.

#there is probably some context here that i'm missing #but from where i'm sitting it looks absolutely asinine

[ironychan]

And now another person just quit bc she didn't get a shift she wanted. I cannot deal with this.

One of the student opticians is on leave for three months for 'personal reasons' and has been kicked from the group chat.

[ironychan]

~ Cerulean ~

#water

[ironychan]

#kitty #spspspsp

[ironychan]

Apparently she needs a new kidney or something on that order. Jesus.

And the manager's brother just died so she's gotta go to Saskatchewan and can't be here to deal with this or with the fact that two people just quit. It's just the (very new) assistant manager and us peasants.

One of the student opticians is on leave for three months for 'personal reasons' and has been kicked from the group chat.

#double yikes

[ironychan]

With Luca coming to theatres this month, I thought I'd share my current collection! I am super happy and grateful to have so many cute Luca merch! 🛵🍝🌠

The beautiful fanart book and watercolor paintings are by the amazingly sweet and kind Ruka! (@sangobouro) 🐬💗

Close-ups of my Luca plushies! So adorable! 🥰

Most of the plushies are Sega Plaza prizes exclusive to Japan. I had some difficulty buying from Mercari, but Ruka helped me get the "& you" mascots! Eventually, I was able to get the other Sega plushies myself through a proxy!

Figures galore! I especially love Mattel's posable action figures. I've been bringing Luca & Alberto with me on trips and taking lots of photos! 📸

Ruka was very gracious to make these winter-themed Luca paintings for me. They've become some of my most cherished possessions! 💓

And lastly, my haul of books, postcards, and 4K steelbook!

I started my collection in 2021, and I have many fond memories. I hope I can keep growing my collection and find more cute Luca goods! 🌟

I'd love to see everyone's Luca collection or answer any questions you have! 🙏💖

#luca #jealous af

[ironychan]

WRITE IT!!! WRITE THAT SELF INDULGENT SHIT!!!

#woah now that's a step too far #nobody wants to see that anymore than they want to see my ass #i don't post ass pics so why would i post self-indulgent things?

[ironychan]

Knit a Perky Pufferfish Tea Cosy Designed by Susan Cowper of Tea Cosy Folk, So Unique! 👉 https://buff.ly/37c1O5c

#knitting #pattern #ciccio

[ironychan]

Last night I dreamed my parents had decided to move to California and I was coming with them. This wasn't negotiable. They'd quit my job for me and everything. I figured out it was a dream and tried to wake myself up, but every time I thought I succeeded I would find the same situation again.

#dreams