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last-of-the-lot · 1 day
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last-of-the-lot · 1 day
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I think they can be besties, with the power of sheer, cunty outfits
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last-of-the-lot · 1 day
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The “average wizard makes 3 failed attempts to teleport to Eiselcross a year" factoid is actually just statistical error. The average wizard makes 0 attempts to teleport to Eiselcross ever. Essek Thelyss, who lived almost eight centuries and attempted to teleport to Eiselcross over 10,000 times, is an outlier and should not have been counted.
His anonymously submitted paper presenting a statistical analysis of his success rate and factors contributing to slightly higher odds was unfortunately rejected by every respectable arcane journal in Exandria. No one believed him.
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last-of-the-lot · 1 day
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Summoning the High King
“Are you sure it’s the only way, Zatanna?” A worried John asks from his seat at the round table inside the meeting room of the Justice League’s satellite watchtower.
The wall-like window that faces the open space in front of them allowing them to see numerous space ships ready to invade Earth right outside. Usually, JLD does not meddle with space but this time the weekly random evil alien dictator decided to also use fucking ancient magic from who-knows-fucking-where to strengthen their troops! So, now Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Zatanna and John have to find a way to fight back, and Zatanna did find a way to fightback, well, little Timmy Hunter did, but hot hell he wished the kid didn’t.
“According to Timothy, it’s the only way.” Zatanna answers.
“Ugh, great, just what I needed.” John complains as he ruffles his hair in frustration. “Another eldritch abomination to own a favor to.”
“How fast can you summon this High King of the Infinite Realms?” Batman questions.
“Timothy is looking for the summoning’s ingredients, as soon as he arrives, we will begin the summoning.” Zatanna responds.
“Where in bloody-dammed-hell did the kid found the book to summon the gods-forsaken-King of the Infinite Realms?!” John exclaims as he lights another cigarette between his lips.
“Apparently the Queene herself gave it to him.” Zatanna informs. “It seems that the book our weekly villain used to magically strengthen his army is one of a set of three.”
“Where is the third one?” Superman asks.
Zatanna shakes her head in negation as she answers. “According to what Timothy told me, these books were separated thousand of years ago to keep them away from the wrong hands. The first tome was thrown to the void of space inside a prison of perpetual ice, or at least what they thought was perpetual ice, the second one was given to the fae, for they were of the few that comprehended the dangers of using these books, and the third one was given to the Ancients.”
“The Ancients?” Batman questions. Where have I heard that before?
“Embodiments of the very same concepts that give form to all of reality, like Destiny, Death, Time, Hope, the rulers and guardians of these very same concepts.” John is the one who answers this time. He is looking at the ceiling as he gives a drag to his cig, then he slowly exhales the smoke and continues. “The OG primordials, older than any god or known divinity in this modern times.”
“I have heard stories.” Wonder Woman interjects. “It is said that even Uranus, and later Chronos, had to pay his respects to a being known as the Master of all Time, and that Pandora was not what the old tales say.”
“Correct.” John nods from his seat, too tired to give any more shits until the start of the summoning.
“And we are going to summon something that even those Ancients think it’s dangerous?” Superman asks.
“Bullocks, right?” John responds with a manic, sarcastic smile.
It is in that moment that the mechanic sliding door opens up, allowing Flash to walk into the room.
“So, uhm, there’s this Harry Potter look alike that just popped up into existence in the lobby looking for Zatanna?” Flash informs as he points behind himself with his thumbs.
“That’s our boy.” John says as he stands up and starts walking towards the only physical door in the room, the other occupants of the room following him.
When they arrive to the lobby there is a young man with messy pitch-black hair and equally black eyes, he is wearing a black turtle neck, a burgundy sweater over that, black jeans and black sneakers, on his left shoulder is hooked al old military green backpack.
“Timothy.” Zatanna calls before giving him a hug.
“Zatanna, so good to see you.” He says as he returns the hug. “Constantine.” The young man directs to the only blonde in the room.
“Timmy.” John nods in acknowledgement.
“Welcome to the Watchtower, Timothy Hunter.” Wonder Woman greets.
“Thank you for helping us.” Superman adds.
“Well, when it comes to weird, ancient magic, I’m your guy.” Timothy says as he shakes hands with each of the big three.
“So, Timmy, what’s in the bag?” Jonh asks as he eyes Timothy’s backpack, knowing very well that whatever is inside will be for the summoning.
“Actually, I’ll just show you guys because you’re not going to believe it.” Timothy says as he proceeds to open his backpack and proceeds to take out the summoning ingredients and make them float in front of everyone.
A red apple, the crunchy kind, a turkey and Swiss cheese sandwich, a black coffee, hot, and a granola bar with choco-chips.
“Why are you showing us your breakfast?” John asks with bewilderment.
“That’s the thing!” Timothy exclaims back as he also pulls out from his backpack an ominous looking, glowing, Lazarus green book. “This is what the book says it’s necessary to summon the High King of the Infinite Realms!” He adds as he opens the book in the page with the instructions for the summoning. “Take a look yourself!”
And Constantine does. John snatches away the book from the younger’s grasp and starts to read the list of ingredients.
1 Red Apple, the crunchy kind.
A sandwich, any sandwich, but if you can get turkey and Swiss cheese, that would be the best.
A granola bar with choco-chips, no coconut.
1 large black coffee, piping hot, four shots of espresso and ten of sugar.
“Bloody fuck?!”
“I know, right?! And when I asked mother what was that about, she only giggled her little giggle and said: The king surely is an amusing one.” Timothy says with fake, high-pitched voice.
“You know? The fact that the Queen of Tír na nÓg herself thinks that the being we are about to summon is amusing just makes it sound even more ominous to me.” Zatanna says as she takes the book from Constantine’s hands and reads the list of ingredients as well.
Superman, Wonder Woman and Flash are looking at the three sorcerers with curiosity while Batman is looking at the ingredients for the summoning with interest.
“Whatever! Let’s wrap this mess up so I can fuck off away!” John huffs as he starts to walk away towards the conference room where they were going to perform the summoning.
The conference room is empty and the chairs and table were moved away to give enough space to perform the summoning and to not get hit by stray, flying furniture. The glass-wall still showing the magically mutated alien troops waiting out in open space for orders to invade the Earth.
John, Zatanna and Timothy are drawing the summoning circle on the floor with some chalk when Flash, who tagged along to see cool witchcraft, asks:
“One question, why do we need this specific dude to fight back?”
“The spell used to magically mutate these aliens is very specific.” Zatanna starts to explain. “To begin with, its base is ecto-energetic, ergo, what we need to deal with our current problem is obviously to summon the one who rules over all ecto-based things and beings.”
“Ecto…?” Flash mumbles in confusion.
“The thing ghosts are made of.” Batman helpfully adds, which gains him the attention of all the occupants in the room.
“Since when do you know about ghost stuff?” Superman asks.
“There is one in Gotham.” Batman adds.
“There is a ghost in Gotham?!” Superman exclaims.
“And when were you going to tell us?” Wonder Woman inquires.
“I have it under control.” Batman continues. “He is not a hostile.”
“Why is there an active ghost in Gotham?” Timothy questions.
“He is investigating the curse over the city.” Batman answers.
“Ha-ha! Poor bastard.” John laughs at the thought of the poor ghost dealing with that curse. The curse over Gotham is thicker and dirtier than a hundred-thousand layers of slimy grime. Constantine can feel Batsy’s glare on his nape but he doesn’t give a shit about it.
“There we go, summoning circle finished.” Zatanna states as the three sorcerers proceed to take place to start the ritual. Wonder Woman, Flash, Batman and Superman walking away while Timothy places the summoning ingredients by the middle of the circle.
The three sorcerers place themselves evenly by the external circle of the summoning drawing, extending their arms towards each other. First, a Lazarus green electric current flows between them and along the lines of the summoning circle. All of the watchtower’s lights flicker ominously.
“I’m starting to think that doing a mystical, magical summoning inside a satellite in open space is a very bad idea.” Flash says as the white lights of the watchtower turn a disgusting grimy green color, the temperature dropping, and dropping, and dropping so quick that in mere seconds everyone in the room is making small hot breath clouds.
“They have not uttered a single word and the atmosphere is already like this.” Wonder Woman musters in incredulity as she watches the sorcerers’ work.
The ingredients for the summoning once again levitate, a Lazarus green sheen covering them ominously.
“Relur etinifin ho eeht llac ew.” Timothy chants. “Aelp ruo raeh.”
The lights flicker some more and then completely burst, the only light in the room becoming the sickening Lazarus green emanating from the summoning circle. The electric current has turned into a slimy thingy while Constantine, Zatanna and Timothy have started to float, each of their bodies in perfect T position as their eyes and mouths are wide open and emanating the very same Lazarus green fulgor as the summoning circle. Then, the same sickening toxic green slime stars to pour out of the sorcerers’ mouths and eyes, falling onto the summoning circle where along with the slime bleeding out form circle it starts to crawl towards the center of it, where the breakfast menu is placed.
“Ugh, I think I’m gonna puke.” Flash mutters as he feels his stomach twist in disgust at the sight of the three sorcerers basically barfing Lazarus water.
Zatanna, Timothy and Constantine seem to have finished vomiting slime when a vicious wind starts to blow inside the room and around the summoning circle, making the Lazarus looking slime twist inside the circle as it consumes the breakfast menu and dissolves it within itself before turning into a shiny green ball. The antinatural tornado then turns thinner as it centers in the middle of the summoning circle, shaping the Lazarus green slime into a ball as big as a basketball, then the wind dies down and the ball starts to pulsate, the vibration kinda like a low bass reverberating withing the very soul of every individual inside the room, as if the air itself was shaking in fear of what is to come.
The Lazarus green slime ball beats twice and it starts to elongate.
It beats twice more and five protuberances start to form from the torso like shape.
As the ball keeps beating like a strange and disgusting heart, the protuberances begin to take shape; two arms, two legs, a head…
All of a sudden, the toxic Lazarus green light dies down. Zatanna, Timothy and Constantine falling onto the floor and then the damn summoning circle floods everything in a blinding white light.
When the light dies down the conference room’s temperature is below 0° and where the summoning circle used to be is now standing a white cloaked figure, the cloak is white yet it glows Lazarus green and it’s formed by what seemed to be hundreds of thousands of ethereal petal shaped fabric that perpetually flows downside, the hood of the cloak hides its face from view. A top of the High King’s head floats a twisted, wicked looking crown, ice black in color and toxic Lazarus green in glow.
As the High King only stands, immobile and uncaring, Constatine, Zatanna and Timothy begin to regain consciousness but the instant they see the High King their eyes open so wide in both fright and surprise that the three of them teleported right to where Flask, Batman, Wonder Woman and Superman where standing.
“The bloody breakfast menu worked?!” Constantine exclaims in disbelieve.
It is then that the High King moves, it’s head turning to where the seven heroes are standing, allowing them to see two bright, toxic green orbs floating in a void darker than space itself.
“Who calls upon myself?”
Says – growls – a guttural, dark voice, as if a death metal lead singer was reading poetry. The room vibrating like a leave with a breeze at the deep tone.
It is Timothy Hunter who once again takes the lead. “Infinite Ruler.” The young man greets as he properly bows towards the High King. “It has been us, punny mortal souls, that have dared summon your presence.”
“Mortal souls?” The High King scoffs in disbelieve. “You dare take me for a fool, Child of Titania?”
The room shakes at the booming, dark growl that leaves the High Kings void of a face.
“We don’t have time for this.” Batman mumbles and then steps forward, shielding Timothy from the view of the High King. “Your majesty, with all due respect but the fact that we summoned you will not change, so you still have to grand us our request.”
Silence reigns within the room for exactly three very tense seconds when…
“Mr. B? What are you doing with a bunch of sorcerers?” Questions the High King, his voice completely changing form dark and guttural to a smooth baritone with a slight Midwest accent that Batman quickly recognizes.
“Phantom.” Batman says and, oh, someone is in trouble, for the bat has used his slightly annoyed tone that means that he recognizes who he is but he didn’t know he was going to be here.
“W-Wait! I can explain, sir!” The High King, Phantom, stutters as he pulls down the hood from his head and takes away the cloak, twisting it away along with the black crown into a void of inexistence.
Everyone is slightly surprised at the High King’s actual appearance. Before them floats a young man, about twenty years old, as tall as Kon-El, lithe like a swimmer, with weird flowy white hair that reminded of a dense mist and bright, oh so bright, toxic Lazarus green eyes that perfectly match his pale, pale, pale skin. He is wearing something akin to a personalized hazmat suit, mainly black, the top has some white lines that went from around the white turtle neck flowing down towards his forearms where the white lines turned into white gloves, covering his feet are a pair of white boots that do not touch the ground. All of him is radiating a soft Lazarus green hue.
“Later, Phantom, there are more pressing matters to attend right now.” Batman says as he rises the palm of his hand to stop Phantom from rambling anymore.
“Oh, yeah, the reason you guys summoned me.” The entity says as he stops midair to later follow Batman to the window/wall of the room to show him the thousand alien troops about to invade Earth. “Ancients, that does look like a very serious problem.” Phantom comments. “I can feel ecto from them, why?”
“Their leader found a forbidden magical book that he used to enhance his army’s strength with ecto-based magic.” Batman explains.
“Rude.” Phantom mumbles. “Yeah, alright, I can deal with it, but I want the book used for that in exchange.” The entity says to Batman.
“Fair enough.” Batman agrees and then they shake hands.
While all of the above is happening, the other six individuals in the room are watching with open mouths and eyes the exchange between the bat and the ghost.
“Alright.” Phantom nods and then turns towards the other six heroes in the room. “Hey, shattered soul blondie, you and I will have a chat when this is done, alright. And no, it’s not a question nor optional.” He says while pointing at Constantine.
John shakily nods his head, eyes wide open.
“You should warn your allies I’m gonna be the one outside.” Phantom says with light tone. “I don’t want the JL and associates to think of me as a hostile.”
“Flash.” Wonder Woman says to the speeder, who in return only nods his head once and then exits the room, his super-speed not even allowing a blur to form.
A loud, red alarm then screams inside the watchtower, the voice of Flash warning all individuals in the watchtower that the High King of the Infinite Realms is an ally and that he is about to perform an attack against the enemy’s forces.
“You may proceed.” Batman says to the ghost.
“Sir, yes sir.” The white-haired entity mock salutes and then pops out of view.
Right after High King Phantom popped out of view inside the building a bright halo of light opened a portal right in front of the waiting alien troops out in open space. The eerie Lazarus green glow that surrounds Phantom making him look like an ominous star against the pitch-black void that is space, he is full royal attire again, the white, flowing white cape the reminds of petals covering him from head to toe and beyond, and the wicked black crown floating on top of his head, his eyes once again looking like toxic Lazarus green fires burning in the void that is now his face.
He rises one of his white gloved hands, opens up his palm and…
BEGONE
He says in something ancient yet strangely familiar, a language that reverberates inside every single of the individuals that heard it. A primal fear settling in the gut of every being inside the watchtower, making goosebumps bloom on their skins, even Superman and Wonder Woman feel the cold of fear and death flood their souls at the command of the High King of the Infinite Realms.
A void of toxic Lazarus green then pulls in the enemies’ troops, like a vacuum, making them disappear inside of the open palm of the young-looking eldritch king. In less than five seconds the whole army was gone, even the mother ship is gone, the only remaining thing is a neon purple glowing, ominous looking book that Phantom takes and puts inside his chest. Not inside a pocket on his chest, not inside his ethereal fancy cloak, no, he puts the ominous book right inside his chest.   
“Did you know he could do that?” Superman asks Batman as he rubs on top of his own chest.
“The vacuum thing? No. That he puts things inside his body? Yes.” Batman answers while outside the watchtower Phantom pops out of view…
Only to re-appear inside the room not even a blink later. “There, all done!” The ghost says with a satisfied smile on his pale lips. The cloak and crown once again out of view. “Anything else you need from me, Mr. B?”
“A whole report on all of your powers and abilities on my desk by tomorrow morning.” Batman immediately responds.
“But that will take me the whole night!” Phantom complains.
“Then I suggest you to begin right away.” Batman says.
“We thank you, King Phantom.” Wonder Woman says as she appears by Batman’s left side.
“Are you sure you only want the book?” Superman adds as he appears by Batman’s right side.
“Yes, the book will be enough sir, oh, and don’t worry, I solemnly swear I won’t use it for evil.” Phantom answers as he crosses a finger over where a human heart is supposed to be.
“How can we trust you?” Zatanna inquires, arms crossed over her chest.
“I advocate for him.” Batman says.
Everyone in the room turns to look at Batman like he has suddenly grown another head.
“Alright, that’s it!” John exclaims. “What is your relationship?! How the fuck do you two know each other?! And don’t you dare tell me the he is just investigating Gotham’s curse thing!”
“But I do am investigating Gotham’s curse.” Phantom mumbles.
“You will have to excuse me, King Phantom, but The Batman advocating for you speaks of something deeper in your relationship.” Timothy says as he joins the conversation.
“Oh, well…” Phantom does not finish his sentence, instead his worriedly side glances to Batman, clearly asking for either permission or further instructions on what to do. Batman notices Phantom looking at him and then just nods, finally giving permission for the young man-ghost to speak his truth, Phantom visibly relaxes. “Thank ancients.” He sighs. “Ahem, besides investigating the curse over the city I also aid Red Hood with stuff related to his haunt.”
“Haunt?” Wonder Woman questions.
“Like his territory? You mean Park Row?” Superman adds.
“I’m pretty sure it’s called Crime Alley but yeah, exactly!” Phantom finger-guns them with a big smile on his face. “Also, since Gotham is one the cities with most murders and assassinations in the U.S.A. there are a lot of lost ghosts that need some guidance to cross to the other side, that’s when I come in. I mean, as King of ghost I have to take care of them.”
“And you do this in the whole world?” Superman asks, feeling a sense of kindredness with the being.
“Yeah… I mean, not always; Lady Death and her reapers do most of the heavy lifting but sometimes I move around.” Phantom says while shrugging his shoulders.
“It doesn’t change the fact that you are doing something very noble, King Phantom.” Wonder Woman says.
“T-Thank you, ma’am.” The ghost blushes bright green. “Oh, that reminds me, you!” Phantom then points accusingly towards Constantine. “Are you John Constantine?”
“Why do you care?” John defiantly, a brand-new cig between his lips. He is too nervous to not have a cig between his lips, dammit!
“Dude! I’ve looking for you for years!” The ghost exclaims. “Excuse me, Mr. B, is there an empty office or something where I can speak to him in private?”
“Sorry, your majesty, but if you want to speak to John it will have to be here.” Zatanna quickly interjects, her tone making clear that it was not negotiable.
“What she said.” Constantine obviously followed Zatanna’s lead. Like hell he was gonna be alone in a room with what is basically The God of all Eldritchs and Supernaturals.
Phantom looks at Zatanna with his big, toxic Lazarus green eyes, then he looks at John, finally he shrugs his shoulders again, like saying Alright pal, if you want an actual adult with you in the room, I get it. “In that case…” Phantom starts and then he opens a miny portal in mid-air, he just did a motion up with his pointing finger, a slight finger gun and bah-bam! He opens an interdimensional portal as easily as blinking. From said mini portal Phantom pulls out a small ball, as big as the fist of a child, it is bright and glowing in rainbow. It’s beautiful.
“I-Is that…” Timothy babbles at the sight of what the other in the room assumed was a sort of energy ball.
“You have sharp eyes.” Phantom says to Timothy.
“What is that?” Zatanna asks in wonder.
“A soul.” Phantom answers with tenderness. Everyone in the room gasps in surprise… except Constantine. “Well, more like seventy percent of a soul… John Constantine’s soul.”
Everyone in the room turns to the blonde, their gazes demanding answers. “H-How…?” Constantine manages to mumble as he takes a step back, his cigarette falling from his lips.
“When I started my king training thingy, the first thing I did was to clear de desk from all the paperwork the previous king ignored. One third of said paperwork was about a sorcerer that was selling pieces of his soul left and right like it was effing candy! I was not gonna deal with that so I asked how I could clear it out and the answer was actually quite simple: To neutralize the contracts all I had to do was to get back the pieces of the soul and give it back to its still living mortal recipient. So, I asked for the soul pieces as welcome to being a King gifts and ta-dah!” Phantom explains and does jazz hands at the soul floating in the middle of the group. “So, here, take what is yours, oh, and next time you don’t want to end up with cancer what about, uhm, I don’t know, STOP SMOKING MAN!” The green-eyed entity exclaims as he pushes the ball inside of Constantine’s body. “Oh, and since you still need your powers I offer myself as your new patron.”
The small ball of light goes right into John without any type of resistance yet John walks back like trying to avoid it but the ball still got into him. Constantine palms at his chest and stomach area, his clear blue eyes so wide they look about to pop out from his face, his breathing heavy, elaborated. He might be having a slight panic attack.
“Why?” John manages say, his tone small, full of doubt and fear.
“Firstly, to make a third of my paperwork disappear.” Phantom answers. “Like for real, it literally vanished. And second, because a soul is something precious, you shouldn’t be using it like pocket money, dude.” The ghost chastises. “I mean, to me it feels like the right thing to do.”
John looks at Phantom like he is the most bizarre thing he has ever encountered in his life; the blonde cannot just comprehend… why? Why? wHy? Just because it was easier that way? Because it was the right thing to do? WhAt?! Constantine is flaggerblasted, he cannot compute, he… he needs to get out of there.
The blonde sorcerer stumbles back, as far away from Phamton as possible and while still looking at the ghost with wide, confused eyes he snaps his fingers, teleporting away once again, running away into the safe shadows.
“Did I do something wrong?” Phantom asks Zatanna.
“No, he is just… he just doesn’t understand why someone would help him without expecting anything in return.” Zatanna explains as she looks mournfully in the direction where Constantine vanished.
“Oh… right, the equivalent exchange thing sorcerers do.” Phamton realizes.
“Yes, that too.” Zatanna sighs, then she squares her shoulders as she takes a deep breath. “Thank you, your majesty, for what you did for John. I’ll try to keep him in the right track.”
“You do you, lady.” Phamton responds. “Once he calms tell him to contact me, I meant the part about being his new patron.”
“Understood. If that is everything, I’ll take my leave.” Zatanna says as she looks at Batman, Wonder Woman and Superman. “My report will also be tomorrow morning on your desk, Batman.” She jokes. “Let’s go Timmy.”
“It was a pleasure your majesty, everyone.” The young sorcerer says as good bye before he and Zatanna vanish away in the shadows just like Constantine had done a moment ago.
“Can I leave too? Apparently, I have a report to redact for tomorrow.” Phantom deadpans in Batman’s direction.
Wonder Woman and Superman laugh at that. “We are no one to retain you, King Phantom. You have already fulfilled our request and also gotten your payment, there is no reason for you to remain with us.” Wonder Woman says.
“Cool. Oh, and don’t worry guys, if you ever have any other ghostly problem just ask Mr. B for my number.” Phantom reveals even more delicate information about him and Batman. “Buh-bye~.”
And just like that the endearing Eldritch God like entity vanishes within himself.
“Now, for real, what’s your relationship with the very obviously middle-west young man?” Clark asks Bruce as he crosses his arms over his chest.
Bruce turns to his friends and decides to have some fun. “He is Jason’s boyfriend.” He drops the bomb, making both Diana and Clark open their mouths and eyes wide open in surprise. “He arrived at Gotham about four years ago to study Aerospace Engineering at G.U. Jason met him during patrol, as Red Hood, apparently the instinctual and proper way for ghosts to greet each other is by fighting so Jason basically jumped on him like a rabid dog, Phantom’s words, and that’s that.”
“Jason’s a ghost?” Clarks asks with worry; he knows how much that thing with Jason affects Bruce.
“A type of Half-a-ghost… apparently whatever revived him it did not do a good job at it. Phantom has helped him, us, to adjust.” Bruce reveals. To heal. It was left unsaid but Clark and Diana heard it loud and clear.
“Oh, Bruce.” Diana mumbles with a relieved smile as she hugs her friend.
“And then along the way they fell in love?” Clark guesses as Diana stops hugging Bruce.
“It was a really entertaining soap opera.” Bruce admits.
“Like father, like son.” Diana adds, a shark like smile on her face.
Bruce just grumbles at the joke.
“And when it’s the wedding?” Clark questions, his tone clearly a joking one, forgetting that The Batman never jokes when it comes to his children.
“This December, on the twentieth-first.” Bruce says as he hands both Clark and Diana wedding invitations. “Phantom has a lot of Christmas related trauma so we try to celebrate Yule for him.”
“Oh.” Clark mumbles as he looks at the wedding invitation in his hands.
“Any more questions?” Bruce inquires.
“You have shut us up with this one Bruce, you may go on your way.” Diana says as she waves her invitation.
Batman nods once and then proceeds to leave in silence, when he completely exits the room Diana and Clark look at each other.
“What a day.” Clark says.
“You said it.” Diana agrees.
______________________________________________________________
Some other time:
“What does de S stand for?” Phamton asks Superman like he wasn’t fanboying about being in the Watchtower mere seconds ago.
“It’s kryptonian, it means Hope.” Superman gently answers the wonder struck looking entity.
“Oh.” It’s the young supernatural king’s smart answer.
“What does the D stand for?” Superman asks back, genuine interest in his voice.
A bright green blush blooms on the pale gray face of king Phantom, he proceeds to rub the back of his head in embarrassment and his Lazarus green eyes look away from Superman’s face. “Uh… it was a gift from a friend… just to look cool… I-I was fourteen, ok?”
Superman laughs. It’s soft and tender and for some reason it reminds Danny of a farm he visited in Kansas when he was a kid.
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last-of-the-lot · 1 day
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last-of-the-lot · 1 day
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Bell's Hells: Hey Essek, do you know anything about these three dead bodies?
Essek: Haha yeah, my friends and I addled their minds with crippling pain, threw them down a hundred and fifty foot cliff, and blasted them with like 200 psychic damage. Then we stabbed them a lot.
Bell's Hells:
Essek: Anyway, tiny gnome man, don't be like them :)
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last-of-the-lot · 1 day
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more essek plz
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last-of-the-lot · 1 day
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so i've been watching the clone wars show...
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last-of-the-lot · 1 day
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does anyone have that unsettling oil painting of a dark window with a sheet leading out into the darkness? it did the rounds on tumblr a while ago and i need itttt
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last-of-the-lot · 2 days
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If sexual activity between same-gender people became illegal, the police would be the ones enforcing those laws.
That's why police are not welcome at Pride. Pride is for unconditional supporters, not for those who would become enemies as soon as they're ordered to.
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last-of-the-lot · 2 days
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Stellar death
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last-of-the-lot · 4 days
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The concept of Riz dying decades or in some cases Centuries before his friends is too sad for me, anyways Riz isekai/regression au. 
So Riz, at the end of his life, I assume a decorated private investigator, maybe in and out of many agencies until he like unearthed corruption in them and got kicked out, you know just general Riz stuff.  
I think he would honestly get Jacked, but in like a wiry way, I think by the time he was old his combat sense and powers of deduction would be Insane even if his body cannot keep up with his mind anymore. 
And then I assume he’d die peacefully in bed OR in a dramatic and horrifying conspiracy, possibly on a sinking boat or a waterfall, that all his friends would have to investigate in his honour. 
So Riz dead, gone, finally at peace. 
Or at least he Thinks, BEEP BEEP annoying sound of alarm clock waking him up for his first day of school. 
Chronomancy is most likely to blame. 
So general premise is Riz instantly goes from an awkward teen scrambling to solve his babysitter’s disappearance, with no resources or social skills, twitchy and underfed to a calm and seasoned detective. I think that morning when Sklonda goes to see where he is, he’s made her breakfast, bacon and pancakes. And as she sits down in shock at the table, he quietly slides a file over to her which is every active case she’s working on, methodically solved with notes and clearly explained timelines to the culprit. And if she turns it over to the back, there’s also a resignation letter in there and an application to law school ready to be filled out. And when Sklonda looks up at Riz shaken, he just gives her a kiss on the forehead and a smile like he’s seeing someone he hasn’t seen for many years and then calmly goes to class. 
I also want: 
-Dealing with bullies that first day like Ragh and Fabian like he’s greeting loved ones. Darting out of their attempts to grab him with a dancer’s flourish that he could have only learnt from a high elf... 
-I think Fabian would be a Big Part of his plans (because the most fun part of regression time travel stories is when they start Amassing wealth) so I think he honestly just goes straight to his house, tells Bill Seacaster that him and his son are best friends (which Fabian would SCREAM at if he got humiliated by this goblin earlier that day) and then challenges Bill to a shooting contest and thrashes him, which makes Bill keel over with laughter, offer him a place on his crew, offers him his son’s hand (Fabian is hitting critical levels of red anger embarrassed face at this point) 
-Other fun ways to gather wealth, Riz just robs Kalvaxus. Just remembers every little detail about the accounts from his files, goes to the bank, gives all the current passwords, transfers the Entire dragonhoard to his own account 
-And yes the plot would all be decimating Goldenhoard that first year, so Riz just saves every girl before they’re captured, the maidens that have already been taken, hunts them down. I think he goes to the gas station that Johnny Spells and his friend’s occupy, locks the door and walks right into this den of bikers, just full Kingsman fight sequence decimates them. Because I think he would feel So good getting a body back that hasn’t been rung with years of stress and Kristen Shenanigans that he is in like peak condition 
-First Day finds the rogue teacher which is why he has so much time for running around preparing everyone’s future
-I think, honestly, he shoots Coach Daybreak in the head on sight and gets sent to the principal’s office and Aguefort’s like “are you doing a chronomancy?” and he says yea and Aguefort’s like sweet, carry on 
I think he finds Jawbone taking terrible paying bouncer jobs, and just offers him a bodyguard/assistant job so he has a little buddy to investigate with.
Starts a full out war with Helio followers because they had way too much reach in town, and when they try to debate with him he has Way more knowledge about their scripture than they do and some truly dangerous deity blackmail locked and loaded and Helio himself comes down and says haha leave this kid alone he just implied he can reincarnate a God, let’s go, let’s go.
Finds some insane legal loophole that absolutely strips Adaine and Aelwyn’s parents of influence and gives their children power over all their assets. Weirdly becomes very close friends with Aelwyn, maybe it’s because they both have the same taste in liquor now.
I think he’d start an information guild that involves like Zayn Darkshadow, Fig in her many disguises, Aelwyn and surprisingly Kipperlilly. Also Kalina! And he knows exactly how to summon her and keeps saying things to her that are friendly yet intimidating and it freaks her out.
Walks up to gorgug, hands him a study plan pathway to MCAT and walks off leaving gorgug very confused (and probably asking if he was his dad) 
Just fun time travel future knowledge shenanigans! And I cannot restate again, we saw how quick a Junior Year Riz is at investigating and making leaps to the right answer. By the time he is at the end of his life, I feel like he’s reached moriarty levels of detective prowess. The many new enemies he keeps making keep coming to him and he just strips them down with his powers of deduction. He’s looking at how one person favours their left side, or the crumbs on their wrist and knows everything there is to know about them. 
So just Freshman Year, the perfect run, Riz with a lot of angst in a very satisfying detective story getting closure for a lot of things. 
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last-of-the-lot · 4 days
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I don't wanna @ anyone because I understand how fast things seem to move in today's landscape of streaming shows dropping entire seasons in one day, and networks pumping out new series constantly to try to attract more subscribers with no intent to actually maintain those shows over time but I just saw someone self-deprecatingly lament that they are still thinking about a show that ended almost a year ago, making fan art and playlists for it, and I want to be very clear:
you can still create fanworks when it comes to old media!! PLEASE do!! there are always going to be new fans who will appreciate it, and veteran fans who are dying for new content and new perspectives. also, less than a year is NOTHING. the original Star Trek series was on TV six decades ago and there are still people losing their minds over it, writing stories and reblogging gifsets daily, and that's only one example.
a fandom lasts as long as there are people who love a thing, even if it's only a handful of people. love what you love and write and draw and make gifs and playlists about it!
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last-of-the-lot · 7 days
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Poorly drawn Ghastly line.
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last-of-the-lot · 7 days
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Holy fucking shit y'all.
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last-of-the-lot · 8 days
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The Mighty Nein as textposts 59/???
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last-of-the-lot · 8 days
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the way essek pauses & clearly gets flustered before saying he wants to talk to his partner before bed like honey no one is holding a gun to your head you dont HAVE to tell everyone how smitten you are but no they opened the floodgates & now he needs to mention his partner every 5 seconds or he'll die
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