middlechildnonsense

[middlechildnonsense]

I was today years old when I learned that when you type “otp: true” in AO3 search results it filters out fics with additional ships, leaving only the fics where your otp is the main ship

[middlechildnonsense]

Bruce Wayne: Where's Jason?

Damian Wayne, remembering that Todd got his head stuck in a tuba afte Bruce told him to leave it alone, and that he's supposed to cover for Grayson and Drake as they frantically work together to free Todd's head from the tuba: Who's Jason?

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Dick Grayson: Goodnight moon

Dick: Goodnight tree

Dick: Good night ghosts that only I can see

Jason, pretending to be a hallucination after coming back to life, and having the time of his life: Goodnight, Dickface

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Dick Grayson: Okay, I'm going to get the wedding cake.

Damian Wayne: Then while you handle that I shall check on the ring bear.

Dick: ...

Dick: You mean ring bearER, right?

Damian: ...

Dick: Look me in the eyes and tell me you did not bring a dangerous animal to our father's wedding.

Damian, already backing up: ... Alas, it seems I am too small to look you in the eyes so I guess we shall never know the answer.

Dick, sprinting after him: DAMIAN!!!

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Bruce Wayne, trying to go over the case of a murder victim but very confused: Tim, why are you wearing sunglasses in the Cave?

Tim Drake, wearing sunglasses to cover up his black eye that he got last night because there was no patrol but he and his siblings went for a joyride in the Batmobile and events led to his head slamming into the steering wheel: uhhhh

Dick Grayson, very desperately trying to hide this fact from Bruce because he's supposed to be the responsible elder sibling: B, if I may. Tim spoke to us all about a week ago about wearing sunglasses to all murder briefings moving forward to show respect for the dead. I simply forgot. And Jason refused because he has no value for human life.

Jason Todd, very much enjoying watching his brothers squirm but playing along because it's definitely his fault Tim's head slammed into the steering wheel: It's true, I don't.

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Red Hood!Jason Todd: Hey, wake up

Robin!Tim Drake: Huh?

Jason: I just murdered your entire family

Tim: ...But I live alone

Jason: Huh? Then who are these people in your house??

Tim: There's people in my house??

Jason: Well, not anymore! Dumb bitch! You could've died! You're welcome.

[middlechildnonsense]

A Vulcan named Stork works at the Terran adoption agency. Parents always request that he be the one to deliver their child to them.

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Alfred has a relative???

Recently, Alfred had received a letter from a 'relative' of his for reasons unknown to the batfam. Alfred seemed happy about it so none of them minded too much, even when the butler said that said relative would be visiting since they hadn't been able to see each other in many years.

A few days later there is a knock on the manor's door and one of the batkids opens it to see this young adult dressed in modern yet formal attire asking if Alfred lives there.

They assume that the man is a cousin or something similar of Alfred's, until the man all but squeals like a banshee at the sight of the butler and beelines for him before doting on him.

None of them were prepared for the young adult- if he even is one at this point- to call Alfred "his boy" and for Alfred to refer to him as "father/papa".

-----

*knock on the door*

Tim: *opens door* hello?

Danny: Hi, does Alfred Pennyworth live/work here?

Tim: Yes??? Why do you ask?

Danny: Well you see-

Alfred: Young master Tim, who might be at the door?

Danny: *Squeals* My little Alfie!!

Tim, watching Danny rush over to Alfred and start pinching his cheeks: what the-

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Danny reincarnates into a test tube, with a grief-stricken Timothy Drake staring at him in shock. The 100th cloning attempt worked.

Danny, having been dead for a very long time, decided to reincarnate, because I love that trope.

He reincarnated into the clone baby of Kon that Tim was trying to make. But Tim couldn't ever get over the hurdle that kept making the clones inviable, so the 100th was just half his DNA and half Kon's.

Danny is the son of a teenage father, who is grieving the death of his other father, and apparently a lot of other people if the ghosts surrounding the teen hero have anything to say.

Danny had reincarnated for a go at a lazy, nice life. Just relive being mortal for a bit.

Instead, he's kidnapped by Ra's Al Ghul to force Red Robin to take care of the Council of Spiders.

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"Hey constantine, who's that?" Someone asks and Connie looks down at Danny, blue eyes staring back at him.

"My coworker."

"He's my dad."

"What?"

"What."

—

Who knew John Constantine would gain a ward, one being such a little mischievous bastard with bright eyes and good heart.

He certainly didn't.

Nor did he expect the stabby Robin to get into a heated argument with his ward, gesturing to his form next to Batman and spit venom.

"But‐ Damian! Look at him! I can fix him!" Danny argues back and Robin, so done with this, rips his mask off and—

Oh.

They have the same face.

Connie looks at Batman, nervous what the reveal will change.

("I don't care if you can 'fix' him, danyal! Return to Father, to me!")

Batman stares back.

("Connie is dad shaped! I chose him myself, damian! Leave me and my choice alone!")

The day will only get longer, it seems.

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haha i like you. I’ll be growing on you like moss now if that’s alright

[middlechildnonsense]

Having thoughts of The Party being touchy as all fuck after everything.

Like you cannot enter nor leave any kind of hang out without a hug, high-five, pat, or anything from everyone you were hanging out with.

And then, suddenly, you aren’t able to leave without a kiss or hug of some kind from Steve.

It started after the bullshit that was the Starcourt Mall. The kids were leaving Steve’s house from a DnD session maybe 2 months before the Byers left for Cali.

Dustin was taking forever to pull his shoes on and get out the house to his moms car and everyone was complaining. It was one of those rare times where Steve wasn’t the one carting them all around— they all had their own rides.

Dustin got his shoes on and Steve handed him his bag and— without thinking— pressed a kiss to the top of his hat before waving him out the door.

The rest of the kids are silent until Mike speaks up bitchily “what about us, asshole?”

Steve has no idea what they mean until El points to her head with a grin. Steve deals out head and forehead kisses for everyone and waves them off to their respective rides.

And then it just— sticks. At first it’s with just the kids whenever he sees them. He’ll usually greet them with a hug or an exasperated sigh and then say goodbye with a kiss to their foreheads.

Not even Mike complains. This is the kind of shit he never got while growing up— might as well make the best of it.

And then it migrates to Robin as well, and the Nancy is joining in on the hugs (they’re still too awkward for the kisses but the hugs are enough for now).

And Steve never holds back, not even in public. Again, no one complains.

And that’s how Hellfire finds out about the kissing arrangement (that might be the title of this if I make it an actual fic). They watch as Steve presses a forehead kiss to Mike, Lucas, and Dustin before waving them off and then presses a kiss to Max’s head and giving her a tight hug.

The guys try to make fun of the kids for it but none of them are embarrassed.

“It’s Steve, dude. He’s like a mom.”

“The kisses are actually really comforting.”

“It’s a Party thing.”

And then the fuckery of 1986 and Vecna happens and suddenly Eddie’s in on the hugs and pats and high-fives.

And then.

And then.

He’s in on the kisses.

Steve doles out the kisses like usual one night after Hellfire and gives one to everyone— including Eddie.

And Eddie panics and gives Steve one right back.

And then the kids are going feral about wanting to give Steve a kiss too.

And Eddie leaves during the chaos.

And then they don’t talk about it.

Until Steve and Eddie do it again.

And the kids accept is as the new normal; you have to give Steve a kiss back.

And then Steve and Eddie have an excuse to kiss each other on the foreheads and cheeks and noses.

One night they’re hanging out, just the two of them at the trailer after Wayne left for work.

Steve had greeted Eddie with a tight hug the moment he’d gotten in the trailer. Eddie had squeezed back just as tight if not tighter.

Steve was getting ready to leave, and on instinct leant in to kiss Eddie, but Eddie was also leaning in to kiss Steve. So they meet in the middle and accidentally kiss on the lips.

And then the new normal for Steve and Eddie is kissing on the lips goodbye.

Idk, just Steve being a very touchy feely person makes me so happy

#stranger things #steve harrington #dustin henderson #eddie munson #mike wheeler #robin buckley #will byers #lucas sinclair #max mayfield #el hopper #nancy wheeler #i will be using this in all future works #steve deserves all yhe love #“its steve hes like a mom”

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[middlechildnonsense]

Tim really looked his anxiety in the eyes and said, "You work for me" (or Tim utilizing the "it's not paranoia if they're really out to get you" mindset so he's constantly vigilant).

[middlechildnonsense]

[middlechildnonsense]

[middlechildnonsense]