miutonium

[miutonium]

Okay I probably make a new sheet in a few days since Im still busy and today's my progress assestment so like please bear with me ;w;

Hey guys I know I have like 3 pending commissions right now and it really wasnt any of my intention to postponing it at all, I got so busy with school and now I am more busy than ever with doing the actual FYP work but would it be fine if I open another round of commission just so I could fund my fyp? Like I hate to say this but I needed money just to buy the things I needed for my project ;w;

#asuka speaks

[miutonium]

Hey guys I know I have like 3 pending commissions right now and it really wasnt any of my intention to postponing it at all, I got so busy with school and now I am more busy than ever with doing the actual FYP work but would it be fine if I open another round of commission just so I could fund my fyp? Like I hate to say this but I needed money just to buy the things I needed for my project ;w;

#asuka speaks

[miutonium]

Hi sorry for going on anon i was a lil nervous to post this uouguh- but whatever is going on rn with your school and all that i wish you the best! Its alright if you need breaks, and I'm sure ppl dont mind (or at least I dont) if you're offline more, since youre understandably really busy hshhsh- Uhh what Im tryung to say is good luck and I hope things get better for you!! 🫶🙏

Oh I appreciate this so much I needed it 🥺🥺🥺 I definitely need a break but I have been swamped by so many works and I wont be seeing myself being free until at least the end of July zzzz

I really missed selfshipping and drawing for others and see other ships and coo at them and all those stuff but ugh I cant find any joy in it and its so frustrating that I cant even find comfort in it right now due to stress and the bitch in my ears is yelling at me that I dont deserve my f/os for this reason and ugh so many things in my head right now I want to cryyyyy 😭😭😭

#anon #ask

[miutonium]

Ugh I cant take it anymore I just need to air this out zzzzz vent undercut just so i dont flood people's feed with a wall of text

Okay so currently I am on my final semester and of course everyone is dealing with fyp right now. My topic is related to passive smoking and since I am a visual communication student (which is honestly just a fancy word for graphic design tbh), it's logical that I suppose to do illustration or posters related to my topic, right?

WRONG! I WANTED TO DO ILLUSTRATION AND DESIGN! THATS WHAT I AM GOOD AT AND I KNOW I AM GOOD AT THAT BUT NO! I HAVE TO MAKE AN ACTUAL INSTALLATION ART!! LIKE AN ACTUAL PHYSICAL ROOM! I DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT BUILDING THINGS! AND I HAVE TO DO THIS ALONE!! LIKE WTF!! And the reason they gave me this is because they know I am good at illustration so they want to give me a challenge and then they want it to be interactive. Interactive MY ASS!

And to top it off, there was miscommunication between me and my lect. I have a 2 week break (which honestly doesn't count as a break at all because everyone is busy doing their projects including me) and I didn't know they want me to build the actual thing in that 2 week time so when I came back to school with my dioramas and papers and shit they were like "Okay where's the room?" Like HUH??? They said they want me to add windows to my room but they didnt tell me to just proceed building the thing instead of showing them an updated diorama like ?????

And like oh my god when I come back home I was literally sobbing and I couldn't stop sobbing for like 2 fucking days because my 50% assessment is fucking next week (2 days from now as we speak) AND I HAVENT BUILD ANYTHINGGGFF 😭😭😭😭

I just bought the whole stuff to build the stupid room it fucking cost me like 1k and its just BUILDING MATERIALS and not the other stuff yet like 😭😭😭 oh god i feel so fucking sick right nowww

Im so fucking blessed that my classmate is just so fucking nice to me and wants to help me out after I tell them I am seriously considering on extending my finals because its literally so fucking much and I seriously dont understand why they made me do this all alone like ???? And my dad also helped me out after he sees me stressing the fuck out because I seriously never been so distressed by work to the point of having nervous breakdown. Its seriously too much even typing this out makes my eyes water ughh

Today my friend called me in the middle of her shift and tell me that supposedly my faculty funds art project but I will not get any compensation because my project is solo and NOT A COLLABORATION! IM SO PISSED!!! THEY TOLD EVERYONE IN THE BEGINNING THAT WE WILL BE COMPENSATED BUT NOW IT'S ONLY IF EVERYONE COLLECTIVELY BUYS FROM THE SAME STORE LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DO U MEAN BY THAT?????? WHERE THE FUCK DO I EVEN GET A FUCKIN PLYWOOD AT THE ART STORE????

I am so beyond frustrated and stressed by this experience. Dont be surprised if I'll be dead by a heart attack or something its literally making me feel all sorts of pain right fucking now ughh I dint fucking understand why they purposedly doing this to me like im so mad I always score in my class and I always get dean list in every semester and now dealing with things I dont even fucking know what to do gives me serious impostor syndrome and I dont even know what I can do now ughh

Hey guyssss just want to post here to ask if it's totally fine for me to vent because I am seriously at my limit rn 🙃

Also hiii so sorry for ignoring everyone here (including tags. I see it, it's just that im so busy and frustrated with school rn) I am busy with my finals I've been feeling so horrible this entire week like legit couldnt stop bursting into tears this is absolutely so stupid and ridiculous

#shitting and crying and farting right now #all of this bullshit just for a fucking diploma cert this is so sickening i hate art school fuck thiss #asuka speaks

[miutonium]

Hey guyssss just want to post here to ask if it's totally fine for me to vent because I am seriously at my limit rn 🙃

Also hiii so sorry for ignoring everyone here (including tags. I see it, it's just that im so busy and frustrated with school rn) I am busy with my finals I've been feeling so horrible this entire week like legit couldnt stop bursting into tears this is absolutely so stupid and ridiculous

#its not ship or fandom related at all dont worry I never have interest in drama so lol no i will never vent about that #but i am seriously at the end of my wits rn because of school and building and shit #like ugh typing this out actually made me cry lol i hate everything #asuka speaks

[miutonium]

#nah bro Im a lesbian #misc

[miutonium]

I am too young, but too old to be explaining this to people, but the burden of someone’s triggers is on them. They can ask for you to tag things, but that is an ASK and that should not come above other people’s comfort.

Boundaries are for when one knows when to walk away. Not to control people’s behavior; one may ask and someone may indulge, but it should never be used as a mean of control. If one is using it as a means to control, please seek a professional for guidance away from that behavior, to educate one’s self on how to properly have boundaries; if someone is using it as a means of control towards you/a loved one, please speak to them about it and disengage if it continues to be a problem.

There is a reason why movie ratings have ratings and don’t call out people’s names. Not only is it not feasible, it is also unsafe. You/anyone should not be putting their names next to their triggers for strangers to see. At that point, people could easily use those triggers against you/the person with that trigger. There are malicious people out there and it isn’t safe to have anything that will trigger you directly attached to you.

I have this as well; I have a trigger of specific characters due to things I will not speak about publicly. Why? Safety. I reach out to my friends and I may put out a thing asking for people just to tag that character with that character name or ‘TW: [character name]’ or even just the name of the ship so I can avoid it, but I will never actually attach why it is a trigger to me unless we are relatively friends/acquaintances, because it is on me to keep me safe.

‘x don’t look’ has always made people in this community uncomfortable for numerous reasons. It makes OPs uncomfortable because it puts them on the spot, it attaches triggers to people’s names, it directly calls out the person with the trigger, etc. Please stop using it.

We have TW: [trigger]; we can move to others ship: [character name (+ media name if needed)]

This is not just a comfort thing; this is a safety thing; this is also how boundaries are properly placed.

#just want to add my own experience when it comes to triggers #its not related to shipping or characters like in the post #but more so on actual triggers since I do have specific triggers related to my uhhhh traumas #my triggers are very specific to the point it really doesnt have a tw tag for it #so its pretty hard to accommodate me #so I have to rely heavily on myself like actively avoiding anything that would lead to those triggers #i know my friends would be very understanding if I ever open up about it #but like its also so specific it would be totally weird for it to be a trigger in the first place #and i dont want to associate anyone with any of my trauma unintentionally by asking them to tag for my triggers #so whenever there were cases where was overwhelmed or uhh i hate to say it but 'triggered' #i just back out from this site and try my best to cope with it myself usually by distracting myself #anyway my point here honestly is that yeah I agree 100% that at the end of the day i am the one that has to do the extra steps #like i dont want to be a party pooper and have my trigger as someone's burden #but also like having my friends tagging my triggers makes me feel like they're walking on eggshells around me #because yes what happened to me was awful and i wished I wasnt damaged but at the end of the day #-I dont want THAT to be associated with me forever and I want to heal and I refuse to be define as a damaged person #also YES SO SO AGREE THAT sometimes listing down your triggers on your info is actually dangerous #because I have seen so many younger people listing their specific triggers and then ppl with malicious intent- #used those triggers AGAINST THEM just to hurt people #like personally i think those thing should be kept private for safety #anyway yes i will still tag general triggers and hopefully i dont miss it #but i will probably not tag the specific ones and especially not the catchall tags like xx dont look #asuka speaks

[miutonium]

Commission for @cryingchemicals 💗💗💗

Aahhhh I'm so happy I get to paint Utonium again and wahsgwkahqka I'm just so happy that there's other Utonium Shippers out there waghhhhh 😭😭😭😭💗💗💗 thank you so much for trusting me with ur ship 🥺🥺🥺💗

#god i missed doing renders like this aaaa i lowkey hate how slow I am at times but also like its pretty complicated too so theres that 🥲 #but waghhh school really kicked my ass 😭😭😭 so sorry for making u wait this long Pachi 🥺🥺🥺 #Grace is such a cutie for him yesss I love me a smart pairing 💗 #selfship #selfshipping #selfship art #self insert oc #selfship commission #commission art #professor utonium #ppg professor

[miutonium]

OHHH GUYSSSS My sister bought me this silly ugly PPG figures for me and AAAAAA THEY'RE SO CUTEEE 😭😭😭😭

#also peep the persona nuis she got that for me too heehee #ANYWAYYY she got me that cuz I said the blind box sold out in my country and shes like “oh you want some???” #“i can even get the specific one u want” and she said prof is the cheapest cuz nobody wants him #aND IM LIKE SHAKING THE PHONE WDYM NOBODY WANTS HIM I WANT HIM??¿?? #aNYWAYYY he's home now and look how ugly he is aaa so precioussjskakqlqlq #asuka speaks #ppg mayor #professor utonium #ppg mojo jojo

[miutonium]

selfshippers,

#i guess atp all of it???? hskshsksjwlq #my sister very very recently got me a prof figure and like I couldnt stop staring at it and making fun of him like he looks so fuckin stupid #but like he's my stupid lil baby 😭😭😭 #idk about pinterest though like not many posted fanart of him #and like literally if I look up Utonium's name you can even find my art there??? #i recently uploaded a few of my utonium art (not selfship) there just for my fellow utonium stans #but also its so weird that actually theres people who uploaded my art too like okay???? #god i am going into circles rnn 😭😭😭 #misc

[miutonium]

I love that so much. Never knew he was chill like that I love it

He actually is! He responds to most of his fans but honestly speaking some ppg fans on twitter can be quite....pushy? Annoying? But that is pretty much expected considering this is technically a kids show lol

Anywayy yes he is very receptive with his fans and sometimes do add more lore to fans posts like the last time I posted pages of the ppg drawing guide book for funsies he just qrt saying his wife drew the guides hhhh

ALSO MY FAV IS DEFINITELY WHEN He just casually drops the info that Prof is actually based on Pierce Brosnan's character in Attack on Mars like oh god istg we dont deserve him 😭😭😭

#okay i dont wanna derail this post but like I just have to add the info about the annoying fans part since i dealed with them personally b4 #also I can finally open up about this but like lmao the other day I blocked someone on ppgtwt because theyre just rude to others #and like I am pretty much a chill person but being unnecessarily rude and also constantly posting shitty takes for the purpose of- #riling up shit is like a hard block in my book so like I just block them #and then like a few days later when i posted my selfship art one of their friends replied under my post asking me why i blocked them like??? #and then they demanded me to reply because i was friends with them like ??? umm bitch no??? since when does following equals befriending??? #i hardly even interact at all lmaoooo #so i muted this user because its just so rude to just ask me that in public and like also i can block whoever i want tf??? #im sorry for the rant in my tags hskska hut anywayyy i assure you my experience i ppgtwt is actually pleasant #just that i cant deny there's some weirdos innit too but i actually block a lot of ppl there just for peace of mind lol #asuka speaks #ask #bumblingbriars

[miutonium]

CRAIG IS AWARE OF YOU ON TWITTER?!?!?!

He noticed a few of my posts before but this post is the one I am embarassed about because:

IMAGINE SEEING SOMEONE PROFESSING THEIR LOVE ON THEIR OC LIKEEEE 😭😭😭😭😭😭

#LIKE OKAY CAN YOU IMAGINE ME TELLING 6YO ME THAT IN 20 YEARS THR GUY WHO MADE MY FAV SHOW WILL NOTICE ME FOR THE WRONG REASON??? #LIKE ITS SO EMBARASSING I DONT THINK I EVER BEEN THIS EMBARASSED BEFORE #Since then I just dont care about gushing about prof on twitter and like go ham lmfaoo #if the creator himself doesnt care that I simp for his own OC then no one can stop me from setting the cringe button to Wumbo #asuka speaks #ask #bumblingbriars

[miutonium]

Little Self Ship Game!

Self Shippers, what would you do/how would you react if your F/O’s creator made your self ship with said F/O canon?

#actually I would write my own obituary but before I realized I am not christian #but then i realized* #cuz why tf would craig draw for this weirdo from asia???? #but okay real talk #craig is pretty much aware of me simping of him likeeee #idk how many times he liked my post of my ppg fanart or the times he likes a post of me just going nuts over Utonium #ihave lost my sense of shame when it comes to this silly nerd like if the creator os aware that this asian weirdo likes his OC #then nothing else matters yknow???? #i dont have hopes for craig to draw for me at all but like just him being aware of my presence on twitter is enough ahskskskssksk #misc #asuka speaks

[miutonium]

And who says scientists aren't passionate! 😉💖 here's a little comic based off an ACTUAL moment I shared with my irl partner @cherry-bomb-ships last night 😂

Taglist♡: @crushes-georg @changeling-selfship @me-myself-and-my-fos @sunstar-of-the-north @tiny-cloud-of-flowers @adoredbyalatus @dearly-beeloved @squips-ship @sunflawyer @miutonium

#HSHDKQKALAKQ MY SILLIEESSSSS #IDk why would kindergartener have reasons to learn or know about DNA but ajdhqkajakalap listenn #the thought of the girls avoiding to talk or ask about anything science related just to prevent these two- #from kissing passionately in front of them is sendinggg meeee haskaqjlqqlqlakql #and then because of that their class performance just SUFFERS because none of them excluding bubbles (but the two girls holds her tongue)- #wants to ask what the fuck is photosynthesis #LIKE Utonium would be devastated that Blossom gets a C for kindergarten science hskskskq #iM SOREY BRIE IM BEING SILLY RN BUT DJDJSLSOA SILLY4SILLY 💗💗💗💗 #miutuals #other's selfship

[miutonium]

Hehe silly4silly

Sketch for @rexscanonwife because I love her on day 1 :3

#aLSO SORRY IF HER HAIR WAS BLUE LIKE I CAN EXPLAINNN #i did the hair first with blue marker thinking im going to make this a monochrome sketch #but like my marker is acting up so like i ended up making the sketch in watercolor lol #so thats why the hair looks flat and saturatesd #bUT ANYWAY AAAA SHES SO CUTE HE SO CUTE YOU GUYS SO CUTE IM- //yELLS AT THE SKYYY #i hope you like this i will just //disappear in the void again because of real life commitment #asukart #sketch #other's selfship #miutuals #professor utonium #selfship #selfshipping

[miutonium]

BRIE YOU GET ME YOU UNDERSTAND ME YOU SEE MY VISION YOU- AHHHHHHHH 😭😭😭💗💗💗

I LOVE HER I WANT TO PUT HER IN MY POCKET I WANT HER TO BE THE ONE WHO GUIDE ME IN MY WAZE APP SHE IS SO PRECIOUS OMG I WANT HER TO HAVE THE SILLIEST LOVE STORY EVER AAAA 😭😭😭💗💗💗

Uhm uh uh...I have no excuse for this 😔 PPG self insert who is secretly an alien! I imagine her intro episode would have her having a little romance with the professor when he comes into a bookstore she works at/owns and the girls being (rightfully, given the prof's dating history) suspicious of her. Wacky capers ensue where they try to prove that she's up to no good, only to find that she genuinely is just chilling and wants to live a normal life on earth!

Well, normal as she can, now that she knows this family! I think she'd fit right in 😉

Taglist♡: @crushes-georg @changeling-selfship @me-myself-and-my-fos @tiny-cloud-of-flowers @sunstar-of-the-north @dearly-beeloved @adoredbyalatus @squips-ship @cherry-bomb-ships @miutonium

#IM SORRY I GOT BUSY AND ITS HOLIDAY SEASON SO IM AWAY FROM MY PHONE BUT OMG AAAAAAA #THEY WOULD BE ATTRACTED TO EACH OTHER DUE TO THEIR ODDITIES LIKE YES SILLY4SILLY I SUPPORT THISSS #im envision her story would exactly be like the mr green ep where the girls would stalk her the whole day and her being desperate to get- #away from the stalker ended up running into Utonium crying about her being stalked #so like Utonium asked his girls to protect her and track down the stalker (which is themselves) #aNYWAY AAAA SO GLAD TO HAVE ANOTHER UTONIUM SHIPPER ON BOARD AKXHEKSUQOQIXJWOQO #i cant guarantee being around cuz im so busy with my fyp and fighting for my life in school #but hehe wait i have something for u just a bit :3 #miutuals #other's art

[miutonium]

Umm ok yeah uh so the weird stalker that made me left IG found my twitter account 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️

#asuka speaks #dw i blocked them lol #but like ngl i had a mini heart attack when i see their name again zzzx #i just hope I dont get constantly bombarded by messages or like spam for attention #like dont get me wrong i usually dont mind spam as much as I used to and if I do I usually block spammers #but like theres just something so off whenever there's actually people out there that keeps track of me #and i dont even know them #look i have mentioned multiple times and even put it on my pinned that I am absolutely and totally okay with sharing f/os #but dont go around trying to put my ship down or assert your ship on me thats just fucking weird #okay off rant hsksksks