mrsmasters-blog

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Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all...

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Defining Love

Love is not a mystery It’s written down in history Love is patient, it is kind Dismisses your wrongs from it’s mind Love does not envy, does not boast Protects you when you need it most Love will die to save a crowd When it’s true, it’s never proud. Love provides for those in need Takes no delight in evil deeds Love was killed with wood and nail The Love of God will never fail Love has conquered death, the grave. For our dirty souls to save!

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February 5, 2012

Yesterday Andrew and I went to OMI. It was a marriage seminar of sorts, I suppose... Anyway, we went and gathered much needed information. 

Let me stop here and preface this by saying: when you go to a marriage seminar (or any seminar), don't expect for everything to change immediately. You have to practice what you have learned. You are not going to get it as soon as you hear it. It will take practice.  I know I just said the same thing twice. I said it because you need to hear it. Everything is NOT going to change in the blink of an eye. You both need to learn how to communicate effectively, respectfully, and lovingly.

I had already learned much of the things we heard yesterday when I was a young teenager. I had already been practicing it "on" Andrew. But a spark hit me and I really got it. And, he got it too. I wasn't the only one trying. I know that it is going to take us much more practice, but me being human (AND American), I want it now. I want the change to happen right now. But, how could I learn from mistakes if I never make them? How could I learn to never do something or to do something if I never do it? Does that make sense?

You always want to learn from your mistakes because that tells you never to do that again.

It's hard to love someone who doesn't seem to love you. I was talking to my aunt yesterday and today about it. She said she understood what I was going through. My uncle wasn't exactly showing her love nor respect when they were first married. I saw it. He was so rude to her and sometimes hateful. I never wondered, though, why she would let him treat her as such. It never hit me until I was older and able to understand the meaning of love and insecurities. 

Misty was insecure about herself and thought that she was supposed to be treated as such. But, she also loved him so much that she chose to pick her battles. I am nowhere close to endorsing disrespect for a spouse, I am merely stating how my aunt and uncle's relationship was in the very beginning of their marriage.

Men need respect and women need love to feel like they are loved. Now, don't get me wrong, men need love and women need respect but, in order for each one to feel like they are wanted and cared for, they need those specifically. 

Men, speak her love language even if she doesn't speak yours. This is something that Andrew does not fully grasp the concept of. I desperately need to be touched. A hug here and there, a kiss, a booty-grab (at home!!!!), an arm around me, a hand on my leg when we sit, anything that shows me his affection. I do not care about receiving gifts or him doing things for me. Although that is a plus, it is not as vital to me as a simple touch here and there. 

Andrew does not need to be touched, so he doesn't understand why I need it so badly. He hardly touches me without me prodding him to do so. He also doesn't understand my "hint-hint" looks either. haha but he will learn. I just need to give him more time.

Women, respect your man even when he doesn't deserve it. I am really trying my hardest to respect Andrew. This is something that I truly struggle in. Andrew isn't the time that commands respect. He isn't the average American male who sits in front of the TV and screams at it when a football play doesn't do what it was supposed to. He is a quite, mild-mannered man who sometimes lets people take advantage of him and disrespect him. He is also not an optimist, which I cannot understand. I have always been one and always been a big dreamer. This is something that I have had to teach Andrew to be. It's been difficult but he is beginning to change. For that and other reasons, it has been hard to show him the respect he needs. When I was growing up, my mother didn't show me how to respect my dad. I am not blaming her I am just realizing how not to treat Andrew but how to respect him in a way my mother didn't treat my dad. Everyday, I hear my mother in me. The way I say things, the things I say.

Start learning now how to better treat your spouse, your love. Treat them how you would want to be treated, with love and respect.

If your spouse if beating you, get out and get out NOW! You do not deserve the beating he/she dishes out. There is someone better for you. If you think he/she can change, that's okay but you still need to remove yourself from the situation.

#1 Corinthians 13 #Love and Respect #love #Respect #honour #OMI

[mrsmasters-blog]

My husband is to never have 5 shots of espresso ever again...

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[mrsmasters-blog]

Marriage: every little girl’s dream. But what do we have here..? This is a LOT of people. Marriage is sacred. It pisses me off to see so many here right now getting a divorce. STOP marrying too quickly. STOP marrying for looks. STOP marrying for money. STOP marrying for sex- it will only do so much. STOP marrying without the process of thought that goes with it..! Marriage is not a game and quite frankly, it gets HARDER once you do get married. This is really sad. Too many people getting a divorce.. Too many. #whereisthelove #marriage #wedding #divorce #love #hate (Taken with instagram)

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February 2, 2012

The past few days have been pretty difficult. We have been arguing over this and that and little things...

The biggest reason I am sad is because my love tank is almost completely empty. Last night I felt that if I were to die that Andrew wouldn't care and wouldn't even go to the funeral. I realize now that was completely stupid of me to think. But, it's difficult to not think that when all you hear from the one you love so much is negativity and criticism and never hear those three little words that mean so much to you.

I asked Andrew if he would go. I didn't get the response I was hoping for, the loving one, the shocked-that-I-would-even-ask-such-a-thing type response. I felt it was a knife in the back. Andrew had also previously said some really harsh words to me. The words he spoke cut me deeper than the first time I was ever called a bitch when I was nine. It didn't help the situation when I kept reflecting on them. 

Andrew has a habit of sounding hyper-critical when he doesn't agree with something. His words are often spiteful and painful. He is working on it, I think... hope.

One thing I do appreciate that happened last night is that we bonded a little more. Because I brought up my feelings to him and helped him see he wasn't being very nice, it brought us together. I was real with him. No matter how painful and raw my emotions were, it helped him see how he was acting towards me and how he can change.

I say all this because you never want to bottle up your emotions. Andrew and I, both, have a problem with that. We need to learn how to say what's bothering us a lot sooner. We often just let it boil over until the pot runs dry and we explode.

You don't want to let that happen. It's very unhealthy, not only to your mental health but also to your marriage. You must learn how to be open with each other.

Pray together every night before you go to sleep. It will help strengthen your relationship. 

#pray #love #marriage #arguing #relationships

[mrsmasters-blog]

MARRIED OR NOT YOU SHOULD READ THIS: (MARRIED GUY SPEAKING)

When I got home that night… my wife was serving dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But...

[mrsmasters-blog]

Awhile ago I thought I had a good grasp of what marriage is supposed to be. I was having a conversation with a friend of mine about it and realized with my views on it there was no point to getting marriade. I wanted to look at marriage from a Christian view and I knew the person to talk to about...

[mrsmasters-blog]

So true!

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Jan. 29, 2012

I refuse to tell you that ever since Andrew and I married, that life has been a bunch of roses. In fact, it has almost been a bunch of squashed melons and spilled milk.

I never thought that all the friends and family that told me that married life was not easy were telling the truth. They all said that the first year is difficult. I never thought they were right. I just thought they were trying to scare me out of getting married. But, they weren't.

The past month that Andrew and I have been married has been filled with conflict and happy times. There was so much that happened before we got married that it will take more than just one post to explain everything. Mostly bad things happened, but some good things occurred, as well.

My mother, who is a therapist, says that the reason for our conflict is that we are learning how to communicate with each other. I can certainly understand that. Andrew and I both have, on several occasions, had to swallow pride and do the unthinkable: apologize to one another and ask for forgiveness.

Ha! If only life were so easy that all it took was an apology to fix all the wounds inflicted upon one another! Words can cut deeper than a knife in the back. I never thought I would feel some of the things that I have felt (more to come in newer posts). 

It is hard being married. There is a lot of giving and a lot of taking. Self-sacrifice. Pride-swallowing. Following the other when you know they will fail but giving them the hope and courage to try anyway. That's what marriage is supposed to be. Supporting the other even when you don't want to. 

My husband is part of a business that promotes health and wellness through the plant Aloe Vera. I hate the product, and do not think it works. But in order to boost his confidence and his morale, I promised that I will help him sell it. It is his dream to make money from it. So, why not support his dream even if I don't think it works?

Too many American's today are divorced and re-married and then divorced again and so on and so on. It actually shames me to think that my people give up too easily. My best friend is a Chinese girl. I met her my sophomore year of college. We were roommates. She was an international student. She thought that ALL Americans were hard workers. I told her that we weren't. She was more surprised to hear that I was a virgin, and that I had never been kissed, and at that time, never had a boyfriend.

I can only imagine that if she was so shocked by me and others like me, what else she wondered about us.

There are so many things that I am ashamed of about my people but that is not really the topic of this blog. It's more about my marriage to Andrew Masters and the trials and good times. And, hopefully to show other young women and girls that even though marriage is hard at times, it can be very fun and exciting and rewarding.

Would you agree that every relationship has conflict?

Would you then agree that it would stand to reason that marriage would also have conflict and need maintaining like any other relationship?

Would you be willing to learn how to make it effective and long lasting?

In family, not a single person has ever divorced or been separated. I know how to treat my husband, but it's still new to me. As I learn, I can show you through my mistakes and successes and help you learn from them. 

Would you be willing to learn from a newlywed? Or would you be too prideful and stick your nose in the air just because you might be older and now more than me?

#married life #marriage #american marriage #1 corinthians 13

[mrsmasters-blog]

This is me and my husband taken 13 months ago on December 31, 2011. Little did we know that exactly one year later we would be married.