nicosraf

[nicosraf]

i’m so curious as to how michael and lucifer acted when then saw each other again after chapter 37. how do you go back to normal after that???

spoilers for A&M

here's the thing: Michael was hoping for this to change everything, for everything to change between them. he won't admit it to himself, but he acted hoping this would do something for this ridiculous tension between them. more than anything, he wanted Satan to seethe because he doesn't have him, to make Satan remember he will never be satisfied without Michael. He wanted Satan to see he should return to Heaven and see that he's powerless to God and to Michael. He denies finishing inside because of his own shame and to make Lucifer seethe.

Except things don't change. Lucifer acts like it was nothing important, doesn't acknowledge it much. The first time they see each other again, it's in public, and Lucifer looks normal and healed, perfect as usual.

At some point, Lucifer probably cracks a joke about it while they're discussing some attack plans — something like "Oh, Michael, you shouldn't raise your voice at me. Last time you did that, you humped me like an animal in heat." Michael gets angry. But that's it. Just a joke or two. Otherwise, Lucifer doesn't even bring it up.

To Michael, this is worse. It looks like it meant nothing to Lucifer, like it was just a regular evening discussion between them. Michael had tried to make Lucifer seethe and have a crisis, but now it's the other way around. Michael is seething, confused about his own desire. Baal and Lucifer seem closer than ever.

Michael realizes he's lost in whatever war is happening between him and Lucifer, but he can't do anything except hang his head about it and curse himself. I think it hangs over them heavily in their last meeting before Michael returns to Heaven. They don't mention it, but maybe Michael's can't resist brushing his gauntlet against Lucifer's wrist to remind him how he held it against the wall. But Lucifer just hums and tells him he's overstayed his welcome.

#mine #ask #a&m spoilers #i have lucifer and michael's last meeting on my to-do list for patreon ahdjsk

[nicosraf]

holaaa, de pronto me entró la duda de si alguna vez has leído el poema “El ángel caído”, de Ignacio Rodríguez Galván. está contextualizado en el movimiento de independencia y emancipación mexicano y pensé que podría gustarte :3 espero estés bien, te mando un abrazo y tu pan dulce favorito

AAAAAAAA no, nunca lo he leído. me recuerda un poco al primero capitulo de a&m (mucho mejor escrito, claro jaja). Gracias por compartir. Me esta volviendo loco. Te mando un panecito tambien. <333

#AAAGGG #mine #ask

[nicosraf]

Hello me again I just finish Angel before man (it took me an embarrassingly long time) but I notice in the final chapters a pressing question I guess I needed confirmation for. But back in the cathedral when god punished Lucifer he called him the beast, god knew Lucifer was the beast yet he did nothing. In chapter 40 when Lucifer gets damned he says he expected that destiny. If god was all knowing he created Lucifer to sin and too fall but did he do it bring even more praise to himself? By damning Lucifer and his demons he made an enemy to blame and focus his wrath on, the remaining angels would cling to god and beg for his love, not to mention the future generations of human that would all submit them selves to god love. Was Lucifer’s god favorite just because he knew was the perfect scapegoat to bring thousands of new souls with their love and worship to god?

hello! thank you for reading abm!! (and sorry for the late response to this !!)

as for your question -> :)

I don't really like to confirm things about abm God's intentions. They're vague very intentionally, and I like sitting in the uncertainty. But I will say that Lucifer brings this up, I think, pretty explicitly in Angels & Man (the sequel). Lucifer says something like "god needed a scapegoat" and "god still loves me"... (I've always been in the camp that Lucifer has never stopped being the favorite)

that's all i really want to say without spoiling one of my favorite scenes in A&M. thank you for reading! I hope it was fun :)

#mine #ask

[nicosraf]

hiii !!

i’m obsessed with angels and man, i finished it a week ago and it’s living in my brain forever i fear. one of the things i cant stop thinking about is when azazel meets lucifer and the demons and realizes that they’re not all burning and suffering like god had said they were. just wondering your interpretation, do u think god lied to the angels that all the ones who fell are miserable or do you think there’s some honesty in what god said considering all lucifer’s trauma and losing his love michael? or none of the above lol

thanks for the great book!!! hope u have a good week <3

hello! I actually don't recall the details right now but my intention was that the angels had mostly made up the idea that demons were suffering. They just assumed they were, and the lie grew bigger as it was used to scare the forgiven sinners away from sin. To be fair, the angels had only seen the aftermath of the fall, which was horrible and terrible and very few angels actually watched Earth after Adam and Eve's expulsion, so it was easy to reason that demons had never stopped suffering.

God, though, did directly tell Michael that Lucifer is suffering. And in a sense, he's right. Lucifer is suffering internally from the trauma he's endured, and he will suffer forever. Lucifer isn't just suffering though. He's doing a lot more than suffering (at times, he's happy). I don't think God tends to lie much; he typically just finds the truth in something that benefits his will.

thank you for reading a&m!! i'm glad you liked it!! its a book that means a lot to me :') <3

#mine #ask

[nicosraf]

I forgot how goofy Asmodeus was. What do you mean "We raised him well, Rosier"....... girl

listening to the ABM audiobook live recording on insta rn and ive never been this embarrassed in my life

#why is he a deadbeat father #mine

[nicosraf]

listening to the ABM audiobook live recording on insta rn and ive never been this embarrassed in my life

#IS THIS HOW I SOUND????????? #mine

[nicosraf]

Hi rafa

I'm thinking about Asmodeus squeezing Rosier's chubby cheeks this evening. How are you?

Hello! Good evening... Im really sleepy i fear.

Also I think Asmodeus will go up to him and squeeze his cheeks sometimes while they're talking. Sometimes he likes to gnaw on his cheeks too. (And Rosier likes to pretend to be mad at him)

#had like thw worst hangover of my life yesterday which is? so odd because i didnt even drink THAT much #stay hydrated yall #mine #ask

[nicosraf]

i logged on to tumblr for the first time in years bc i just finished a&m and needed to tell u that ur writing has healed my religious trauma that i have carried my whole life thank u for ur service

welcome back to hell but also thank you for reading a&m and enjoying :') <3 it makes really soft and happy to hear that i mightve helped someone with their trauma somehow. i hope you continue to heal. thank you !!

#mine #ask #<333

[nicosraf]

A&B spoilers!!

Just finished A&B and I’m insane about it, I definitely made the wrong decision when I brought it with me while on vacay with my family….now i have to act normal but LORD THESE GAY ANGELS ARE RUINING ME

Anyway thank you for writing this amazing book and for fuelling my obsession with gay angels, especially Michael and Lucifer, I’ve been obsessed with them ever since I read a fanfiction about them years ago (these two have been living rent free in my head for so long) but I digress

anyway!!! I wanted to ask about Azazel’s kid like if he hadn’t died when Michael stabbed Azazel ((I’m never forgiving him for this)) would have he become a “normal” angel?? Or just like yk a man with wings? I’m just obsessed with how you played with the Nephilims in this book and I’m desperate to know more about them

Also just wanted to say that I loved the familial relationships, the angels thinking about their wife’s kids as their own destroyed me AND CAIN AND LUCIFER AND BAAL,,,,I’m never getting over them

Just, thank you for this book (and ABM too) it was an amazing read and this is one of those books that truly leaves you something, I could truly feel all the love in it and just thank you again for having shared it with us ❤️

A&M spoilers

hello, thank you for reading! I'm sorry it's made you insane, but that's very relatable. i'm really glad you enjoyed! (especially because i know what it's like to be obsessed with Michael and Lucifer literal).

For your question, I think so! I think the only difference would be that the angel would have aged and been mortal. I think that the angel would have eventually died. I think they would be able to get sick also.

I'm happy you liked the familial relationships in the book! They mean a lot to me :') And Cain, Lucifer, Baal is one of my favorite things about this whole series. i want to write a little more about them... aghhhfdsdj

Thank you again for reading!! :') <33

#mine #ask

[nicosraf]

It's election season of student bodies at my university and when I read Lucifer's speech at the Fountain during the Rebellion, I said "This little menace got a better election platform than any candidates from my school offered."

Is this what you call Celestial Propaganda...

I'd say he has a better election platform than both American parties atm too

#mine #ask #good luck w the school elections !!

[nicosraf]

Fuck. I can't do anything right. *pulls my shirt up slightly and you can see a little bit of my abs*

[nicosraf]

What was ur thought process into making or developing Samyaza?? Or all of the watchers..I’m like 50% into the book and he’s hypocritical to me like he makes these back handed remarks abt azazel having a man but like does it matter cause you all are sinners in the eyes of god and it seems he wants to get rid of everybody on earth so far

It seems like most of the watchers still hold some type of bias towards the “sinners” of Heaven for being a “whore” but you guys aren’t even in heaven (and won’t be treated the same when u return) and you guys are doing the same thing :/ even having tons of babies like did you guys even think abt this being a possibility???

I feel like this is an unpopular opinion but I kinda dislike Samyaza it seem like after everything that’s happened he still doesn’t try to see different view points on life on earth apart from his. He chalks up Armoni not particularly liking his wife (that he was practically forced to marry) as just Armoni being his usual distasteful self. :(

I may just have to reread a couple of pages to try and understand Samyaza or any of the the watchers. But I LOVE your works and I think they’re amazing and I didn’t want this to come off as passive aggressive I guess I’m just confused abt some of these characters since I don’t think like they do

I realized this just seems like a rant but still you’re writing is AMAZING💕💕💕 you’re really inspiring as a writer 😋

a&m spoilers

Hello! I'm curious if your thoughts have changed since you sent this ask, but disliking Samyaza definitely isn't a minority opinion!

I think almost all my betas disliked Samyaza at the start, but they all liked him by the end. I think, for most readers, Samyaza is hypocritical, selfish, and etc., but the amount he suffers by end makes it so that.... well, yes, Samyaza might be a bit aggravating at times, he definitely didn't deserve any of what happens. And he does change as a person, at least I think so.

The story of Enoch sort of lends itself to the interpretation of a husky, tortured fallen angel who sweeps a beautiful woman off her feet and has to choose between her or God, his Father. I like to say this is the version of Samyaza that I would have been able to write if I wasn't as gay as I am, but my reasoning for not making him that is a little more complicated.

I like writing hypocrites, and I liked the idea of an angel that saw his struggle similar to a woman's, feeling a solidarity with her instead of just sexual attraction. One part of Enoch that always struck me is the passages about the Watchers crying and begging Enoch to talk to God for them. I thought the angels being unsure or not really knowing that this would make God as mad as it did was interesting. I liked the idea of him being an angel associated with water because of his role in the flood, so I made him a lesser angel of healing. I can go on and on.

In my original concepts of A&M (YEARS ago), I intended for Samyaza to be much more of a bad person, almost an antagonist to Azazel. But as I outlined, I started falling in love with this version of him.

Btw, it's okay if you dislike Samyaza and even dislike him after finishing the book. Not all characters have to be loved, and Samyaza would agree with you that he doesn't really deserve anyone's love or forgiveness after what he's done.

I can talk more about the Watchers if you like! I really like all of them :') Thank you for the ask! I'm happy you like my writing. I hope you enjoy the rest of a&m

#a&m spoilers #mine #ask

[nicosraf]

Jennifer’s Body (2009) Hannibal (2013-2015)

#fav

[nicosraf]

all of your angels have magically been turned into Polly Pockets. who are you chewing on first 🎤

Rosier. Then Michael...... I think I'd chew on Michael and Lucifer together actually.

#mine #ask

[nicosraf]

This may or may not be a distraction from the shitty parts of life. But are the angels bottoms or tops or verse? I feel like Baal would be a top but for Lucifer he would be a sub bottom if Lucifer asked. Michael gives Top but not strict top and Lucifer gives power bottom but I think he would get bored eventually and he would want to switch it up.

#thismightnotbeanask #angelshavetakeovermylife

I don't want to answer this concretely but I do want to confirm that Baal would do absolutely anything if Lucifer asked

#mostly dont want to answer too many Adult questions because then my account will get flagged #but i had to confirm that one thing #for my own sake #mine #ask

[nicosraf]

what kind of dilfs are you into rafa? are we talking hugh grant or more like pedro pascal?

I mustn't say

#i must not say The Name #mine #ask

[nicosraf]

I just wanted to say the cain chapters were my favourite chapters of the entire book, finding out the Cain & Abel lore had me messaging my partner (my christian bible gamefaqs guide) feverishly late at night to tell them abt it. But also the line "who remembers cain?" And the response... i GASPED in the bus!!!!!!!! IT MADE ME SO EMOTIONAL. the writing and repeated lines between the paras of that chapter was so insane i was shaken by The Prose!!!!!! Another moment i was so taken aback by was ohya and hahya sheltering the human children bc oh FUCK THEYRE STILL LIVING BEINGS... THEY HAVE FAMILIES N LIVES TOO...THEIR ONLY SIN WAS BEING BORN TMT i started doodling that scene (i cant draw good but sometimes ur compelled by Emotion to) bc it struck me so much how even the giants are innocents... its been two weeks n thinkin abt the fate of azazel n samyaza's family unit has destroyed me irreparably

Spoilers for A&M!

Ahh I'm really glad you liked the Cain chapters! My ideas for Cain were one of my biggest motivators for turning the idea of ABM into the idea of a trilogy. I remember hearing once that Cain is really Lucifer's child, and I have a gay brain, so I imagined Lucifer taking in a little Cain. And here we are! Cain may be a fav character of the series for me. Agh I just love him

And Ohya and Hahya.... Aghh ive said this before but I originally planned to have them talk, and it made it halfway into the finished draft. I decided the ambiguity about their humanness was better, but yeah! You hit the nail on the head. They're also living things with families. It's not their fault they're hungry :(

Thank you for reading A&M! I'm really happy you enjoyed it!!

#a&m spoilers #mine #ask