poettical

[poettical]

Study my theory

After years of not belonging,

I’m finding bonds in a different universe:

support me in the lifestyle of taking the decision, as my body no longer supports the style of this life.

In this existing universe is where I will find hope and joy, everything that is hidden now.

Hidden from my eyes, ears, soul -

I cannot hear silence, I cannot hear graphic.

I can feel the side of this universe, feeling the wrath pulling me in, gracefully;

This bond has found me a new belonging and I am ready to leave.

#personal

[poettical]

Shark teeth

Burn the candle, pour the wax to make formations on my skin;

smell it deteriorating under sweeping dreams.

Become your fears as I pass; become into a strangers heart.

you can not escape me with your sunlight ways, Sandpaper skin churns my heart into fire.

Making’ me combust into pixie dust.

I’ll lay under your Pillow to smell your must, exhale my love, through gaps in the celling.

Darling, I have passed and you waved me off. I have passed,

I have passed.

#personal

[poettical]

Introverted (lil thought)

Everyone preaches about being introverted and how it's socially acceptable, it's accepted because it's not seen. Us introverts, stray away from society - it is accepted because they don't know what it is; what it means. You have never seen it, in order to know - they assume. We make a whole house in one bedroom, but only invite one soul; this not being anyone else. We make cashiers our lovers, as we don't have anyone else who shares more time together. We start false diary entries, but never finish; what is there to fill in? Us introverts, use this term to disguise the social anxiety. Introvert looks pretty. Social anxiety looks like me. Being in my house, I come to terms with my thinking patterns and how no one will truly know me for who I am, I'm safe to read, write, I'm safe to breathe. However, one day; us introverts won't find safety in breathing in this house. Eventually, all this empty breath, will act as filler to this container - I will suffocate in here, choke on how I live, twist my tangled lungs, grind on my teeth - Us Introverts will become so introverted in ourself, we will become officially (not artificially) accepted; as we will no longer be here. We will die - and then will we be accepted, as they cannot see

#personal #mental health #introvert

[poettical]

Slipped

You said you owe me the world, but I knew I was it.

And I just wanted me back.

#personal

[poettical]

Insomnia

If the night is what made me go on; how can I write this If the day has not - dawned?

#personal

[poettical]

Platonic

If you were to leave, darling I would remember your breathing how loud it Is were to me because I don’t anymore. Do it for us, I can’t rattle the last puffs of ash to sustain your rush anymore.

#personal

[poettical]

2 fingers

When you kissed me, I turned bulimic. purged every word, you threw in me reached in for the thoughts

sat on a cold floor, turned sour tasted sour

When you kissed me, I turned bulimic. turned my throat inside out pulled apart my chest

I am bulimic, with your kiss. Fuck it, force it. Feed me it.

Force feed?

do not spoon me in with my own self guilt, you don’t have any?

You have worse; A bulimic in your briefcase.

#personal

[poettical]

Bloom

I want his smile spread across mine, until the Stars above, makes everything I once knew Blind.

#personal

[poettical]

Leave me alone, in dark

I was going to write this, but I was going to give up on this piece. But, Instead keep on going with this

and give up on you in the mean time.

you fed me lies, and I ate them quite happily, and quite tastefully. You dished them with spoonfuls, and made sure I swallowed the gravel.

and it killed me in a rhyme.

I let it seep below me, stood on it for a year, then watched it rise as I soaked it by naturalism. It’s so natural now? - was it slammed before.

and that was YOUR crime.

Bothering me, it didn’t. Beating me it did. I swallowed back into my own hole, watching yourself dim the light at the end. You didn’t reach in, and now I’m too far.

and I am worth more dimes.

Don’t follow me to my new world, don’t think of me with those songs. I’m better here, no one knows. Just the trees and I - all I need.

fuck your lies, for the 5th time.

Cradle my head, in a box. Then ship me away from your thoughts. I don’t want to be them (never did I). I’m too good for you, too good for anyone, and so I am alone.

Peacefully in your climb.

Heart, what? I own nothing, not my head or my soul. I’m useless, that flower you picked, and let go - heart is failing, it’s been plucked.

don’t come for me don’t bleed on me don’t listen to me don’t apathetically touch me don’t read my words Don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t be in my life, don’t listen to me

#personal

[poettical]

Your loss, kid

Does she look at you the way I do? or. Is she holding eyes without pupils.

#personal

[poettical]

You, you

Balance my unwillingly dedication of not owning myself. Pushing my concaved water perished lungs and dampened veins to yours shoulder length (?) tenderness: of whispering taunts upon anti-Christ taunts. Cause tonight I'm feeling; Yet you encourage the courage of spilling willpower within thee urban punctual effort of Grace. Ownership of me being seeped (?) not swooned with your daily uncanny bothered breathing of Dust covered(ing) phonics. Like, bandaged eyes, wee white lie calling you my Darling

#personal

[poettical]

Relationship fathom

People fall in love with me gorgeous people in

The way I sewn shut. In the way, my legs heaved traffic. In

The way dust formed over my skull; soaking, washing over my brain.

People dreamed about me, Gorgeous people. About tightening, grasping opening, closing smiling, crying whispering, shouting

all over (people fell in love) with my unconscious - shot dead - mind.

#personal

[poettical]

Naming acronym

I stare up to the moon, with the only settling thought that You're somewhere looking up at it too

#personal

[poettical]

MDMA

Tearing out these lungs, I began (ing) with the heart; you. Caressing my lips with the sights of nothing. But, Delusions of a bad song, only to be rejoiced by the death of fucked up poems - my poems to be fucked. All about you, and Darling it’s beautiful.

#personal

[poettical]

Toothless

Long nights, long days/ you told me how foolish I was. Figured. foolish ways, I am - why? Screaming in my cell, I quake. After all, I wash wired sayings of you. Always told me. I loved you darling, that was foolish. Not my mind in your eyes, but the mind I created within a fatal fool of you.

#personal

[poettical]

Sense of senseless

If I could curl in her smile: I would. If I could strip her secrets: I would. If I could inject heroin across her forearm: I would. If I could run into tracks with her: I would.

If I could knife her bedsheets: I would.

If I could become legally addicted// I would; Add - Up. lethal addictions? Suffocations? Endings?

If I could love her, with no regrets: I fucking would.

#personal

[poettical]

Numeric love letters

5. I still can’t say what is going on, but with you I, whispered it in irregular rhymes, words that chimed. For 5 days long; darling, you’ve got tongue tied with all of what - 5 days. 5 months. Fuck time as with you it’s all we’ve you’ve I’ve got. 5 quick minutes smothered in a life time, you repeated it. 5. I replied with, 5. I still can’t say what is in ours yours my Mind.

#personal